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Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 14
Rushing too fastPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

Having recently broken up with someone because of what you are experiencing.. my advice to you is RUN LIKE HELL. Sounds like he is a sociopath and controlling. They are usually very charming and mirror you. Once they know you have an interest they will move in to own your soul very quickly.

Deep down they are insecure and worthless jerks who will try to destroy you emotionally.

Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 15
Rushing too fast
Posted: 2/1/2010 8:13:31 PM

What do others think about this situation and has any one gone through it?

Too many times to count (except the children part.) I think the situation is, well, what it is. Only you can determine if you want to go down that road or not. I met the romantic love of my life and there was NO need to ask a bunch of strangers what to do because I knew what to do, so did he. Since you are asking, it must not feel "right" to you. JMO
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 18
Rushing too fast
Posted: 2/2/2010 1:18:31 AM
My God, it's no wonder that women are so cynical and non-trusting when you hear about things like this going on! Well, I am sorry that happened! It seems to me if you are a decent guy, you almost have no chance with odd birds like that out there!
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 19
view profile
Rushing too fast
Posted: 2/2/2010 5:02:40 AM

If the guy's behavior is turning you off, then your decision is simple. But I totally disagree with the people who think you should run away just because he's overenthusiastic. Maybe you seem like his dream girl and he truly hasn't acted this way with anyone before. I think if you still have some interest in him, keep seeing him, just be wary of any sort of controlling behavior

You are just not into him. If you were, we would be hearing about the "love at first sight" fairy tale and all the posters would be "you go girl". Instead they want to label him as a psycho.

Maybe he figures you are "the one". Maybe he has dated plenty and finally found his perfect woman. Timing is everything. He could be ready to settle down, but you are not. No big deal. How many "why can't he commit" posts tell the other side.
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 22
view profile
Rushing too fast
Posted: 2/2/2010 8:37:10 AM
Date the other guy, this guy is either lying and he always acts like a clingy stalker or he is just a douche, either way if you continue to see him it will only increase the amount of effort required to get rid of him when things get bad enough to start checking your pots for bunnies.

Hope you left the door open with the other guy.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 25
Rushing too fast
Posted: 2/2/2010 2:53:00 PM
I'm just sitting here wondering - Is there such a thing as rushing too slowly?
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 30
view profile
Rushing too fast
Posted: 2/3/2010 3:31:47 PM

He ended up asking me to marry him and live with him and asked me if im interested in having kids, in only 3 dates! I am interested in all that stuff, but thought it a bit too soon.

Did you seriously need to ask this question?
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 33
Rushing too fast
Posted: 2/9/2010 3:36:17 AM

now we have heard from all the red flag crowd ... who say run Forest run ... they are the same people that see red flags when the guy is reluctant to commit

deerdog - The key element missing is common sense. A woman who continues to date and give everything to a man for an extended length of time knowing she has no future with him indicates she is lacking in common sense.
A man who jumps the gun in wanting to marry and plan a future with a virtual stranger simply because he is horny indicates that HE has no common sense. No woman wants to marry a fool and he has already proven that he is one.
It all boils down to getting to know someone thoroughly so that we can make an intelligent decision of whether or not we want to spend our life with that person. That would cut down tremendously on divorce and unplanned pregnancies. Anything else does indicate a RED FLAG.
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 35
Rushing too fast
Posted: 2/9/2010 11:53:37 AM
Well it's been my experience that it's totally possible to meet someone
and feel an instant connection with them, and to instinctively know that
this is the person you were meant to be with.

I've had guys suggest we move in together (and a few said we should get
married) and the only time it freaked me out was when I really didn't like
the guy. When I did like them...we turned it into a joke and sort of moved
on. The guys I didn't like, I couldn't get past it and couldn't get far enough
away from.

I think one's tolerance level for this sort of stuff is directly related to
their level of fondness for said "pyscho".

But that's just my opinion of course.
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 43
Rushing too fast
Posted: 2/17/2013 2:35:48 PM
The original post is 3 years old, so she either ran for the hills or she married the guy and is busy popping out babies.
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 44
Rushing too fast
Posted: 2/17/2013 5:00:41 PM
i did not commit to exclusively dating him now. I feel im not ready

You are not ready. Stand your ground, don't let him push you into a relationship you're not ready for. He doesn't even know you yet. And you don't know him man yet, but from what I see so far, this is a big red flag right here. Follow your gut instincts.

He told me he has never been this way with any woman before
I don't believe that. He didn't suddenly become this way. He has done this before.
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