Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Women faking orgasm      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 26
view profile
History
Women faking orgasmPage 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Being completely honest in all things doesn't always make you a better person.

Uh.. yes it does.
Through honesty one learns tact and diplomacy. There are a great many ways of handling awkward and/or embarrassing situations other than being dishonest. The gift; "How very nice of you to think of me,and I must say that I wish this color was more flattering to me...If you've got the receipt, I'd love to pick out something I would enjoy more often." Honest; for the life of me, I can't see an offence there.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 27
view profile
History
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 2/4/2010 11:58:55 AM
"How very nice of you to think of me,and I must say that I wish this color was more flattering to me...If you've got the receipt, I'd love to pick out something I would enjoy more often."


Although you couched it nicely, you just told them that the gift they gave you was unflattering and that you wouldn't enjoy the gift they gave you quite as much as something you picked out yourself. I might not be offended but I would be hurt.

Tact and diplomacy sometimes involves little white lies. There are so many other scenarios that we face everyday and sometimes you are going to come across one in which you can't be evasive, and you have to decide which is going to do the most harm in the long run, the truth or that little white lie. So in the case of the gift, I tell that little white lie. So I don't have the shirt I wanted, that isn't as important to me as my loved ones feelings.

Sorry for the thread-jack Windloverr
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 28
view profile
History
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 2/4/2010 12:05:27 PM
You make a point, although I'd like to continue, as you said, let's not jack his thread. PM me if you like, as I can't PM you; we might discuss a bit more if you so choose.
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 2/4/2010 4:02:31 PM

womaninprogressFirst off, don't worry about their egos.
By this statement I meant that any man who cannot handle being told by his lover that she did not orgasm; or can't handle being given advice BY THE OWNER, isn't worth staying with. Put his a$$ out.
Why? Ego sensitivity, right? Yep. So turns out it's something we have to worry about after all.
Ummmm...no, actually. It has to do with the principals of positive reinforcement. "Any act that is positively reinforced, is statistically more likely to occur again in the future." B.F. Skinner. You tell hem what you want...he does it...and he WILL be positively reinforced by your reactions. You tell him what he's doing wrong...you're b1tching...and he will be positively reinforced for getting out of there as soon as he possibly can. BIG difference...HUGE. (technically speaking, for the hard core purists, you're punishing; and he will be negatively reinforced by leaving)
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 30
view profile
History
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 2/4/2010 5:04:01 PM

closerwhile I don't so much mind getting myself off all the time, it'd be nice if I experienced it with him.
I hear that.So you know what I do? Help myself to an orgasm or two while we are having sex.Have you ever tried using your own fingers while he has his d*ck in you?
Or even adding a vibrator with him?
Absolutely!! Especially when "breaking in" a new lover; but any time, and every time, if necessary. If a guy gets an attitude over the toys; the best thing you could do would be to put his a$$ out. The good news is that you figured it out early on. One of my very first questions when I'm with a new lover is "Where are your toys?" Every woman knows how to get herself off; and that is the very first thing I need to learn about her. Once I know she CAN have an orgasm with me; THEN is when you start learning everything else.
And yes...it DOES effect a man's ego if he can't.I asked mine if it made him feel badly he said...sometimes....I said..should I fake it then? He said no.
Wow. It's wonderful that you guys can communicate so openly; that he is "big enough" to admit that, yes, sometimes, it does dent his ego; AND for him to be big enough to say, "Even so, please don't fake it." That's neat stuff; thanks for sharing.
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 31
view profile
History
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 2/5/2010 12:40:01 PM

Oh....and does it 'count' if the multiples come from hand and d*ck and anal stimulation?
Absolutely!!! An orgasm is an orgasm in that respect. I'm counting it as long as I am some way remotely associated with it,

Actually, thinking about it, my concern was with numbers, period. If she has never been able to give herself more than 3 at any one time; and after we have been together for a little while, and she learns a couple of things she didn't know; then she calls and says, "Hey, by doing XY and Z, I was able to give myself 6 this morning! That's a 100% increase in her orgasmic ability! And, if she can do that, I know 10 is just around the corner,
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 32
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 2/5/2010 12:56:30 PM

"Hey, by doing XY and Z, I was able to give myself 6 this morning! That's a 100% increase in her orgasmic ability! And, if she can do that, I know 10 is just around the corner


I hate to say this, but I have never seen a correlation between one or the other and the increase in number of orgasms. Sometimes you improve on something, and then the next time, nothing really happens. Then another time you don't think about it and it's orgasm after orgasm.
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 33
view profile
History
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 2/5/2010 2:44:49 PM

OutMindI hate to say this, but I have never seen a correlation between one or the other and the increase in number of orgasms.
You've never seen a correlation between what? I don't know what you are referring to here.
Sometimes you improve on something, and then the next time, nothing really happens.
Absolutely, I never meant to imply anything different. It may be months before you get another substantial "improvement". However, if she all of a sudden has twice the number of orgasms she has ever had in her past; that is hugely indicative that she has discovered something in her body that makes her achieving orgasm easier. From that point on will she ALWAYS have a large number of O's? No. She may not have any the next time you are with her; but you both know that she now has that potential.
...honestly if she has 3 or 8 it makes little difference to me...I'd love to send her reeling into the teens, or some of these people who claim their gf's had 30-50 in a session which I think is ridiculous,
The only way you can get her into the teens, or 30's-50's, is by caring; and putting out the effort. Now, are you saying that expending the effort to have 30-50 orgasms is ridiculous; or are you saying that nobody can have that many orgasms; and to claim so is ridiculous? If so, do a thread search on here. There are numerous women who contribute, or have contributed to these forums, who can regularly experience 40-50+ orgasms. NOT EVERY NIGHT, by any stretch; but, whenever they, and their partner, are "in a zone". I've personally had three partners who were capable of 40+; and one of those was literally unlimited. Do all women have this capability? I have no idea. I do, however, believe that all women are capable of more than one in a night; but, what those maximum numbers are varies from woman to woman, and hugely important, is what TYPE of orgasm are they having. One lover could have all the g-spot orgasms I had the energy to help her with; but after ONE clitoral orgasm, she completely lost interest, and was down for a while. Giving a woman 30+ orgasms is not going to happen without a lot of effort on your part. However, if you are interested, the magic answer is the g-spot. Do a g-spot thread search, and see what you find. There was a guy named Dave who used to post this link: http://forum.literotica.com:81/showthread.php?t=70892; it’s very useful; and if nothing else can teach concept and technique. Personally, I prefer having her face up; placing two fingers firmly on her g-spot; and using a vigorous up and down motion.

It takes time and effort; you need to talk with your partner about what you would like to do, and get her on board; because if you’ve never done g-spot techniques before, or never tried to accomplish orgasm, after orgasm, after orgasm, it will at first, kind of feel like a science experiment. However, once she starts having orgasm after orgasm, she’ll be a lot more receptive to “experimenting.”
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 34
view profile
History
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 2/5/2010 5:03:47 PM
I've never really faked an orgasm...but I have lied when they asked if I came.
 mysteriosa
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 2/5/2010 8:06:41 PM
Why would anyone want to fake when they could have the real thing? Much as I cared about my partner, I wouldn't fake anything just to bolster his ego. That is dishonest and a slippery slope. I'm sure he'd deserve more respect than that.
 Joel246
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 36
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 2/5/2010 10:35:53 PM
THANK YOU, mysteriosa! I'm really discouraged by how many women think this is no big deal or are even proud of their ability to pull one over their partner. It's really demeaning and dishonest. I understand there are ego pressures but if you're willing to take the risk of entering into any relationships you have to understand there will be some difficult conversations.
 Joel246
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 37
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 2/6/2010 11:46:59 PM

Not sure it would be better for a guy to think he sucks in bed,even if it isn't totally his fault,or that nothing he will ever do will get her there.Do you? Would YOU stay with a woman you knew couldn't come with you no matter what you did?Doubt it.


Maybe nothing he could do would get her there, but by telling someone you're not orgasming you can begin the conversation that will lead to better sex, even if it that means breaking out the vibrator more often than not. By faking you guarantee there will never be improvement and the sex will be even worse because you'll feel awkward about having to fake.


True...but it's also demeaning for a man to face facts sometimes too.Most people considering lying to be protecting someones feelings from the truth.It's not so much malicious because if a woman wanted to make a man feel badly she could simply tell him he doesn't do it for her,and never will.I think you are missing the point in faking it for some.They don't want to hurt a man's ego/feelings or make herself look as though she has some sort of problem in not orgasming.It's two fold.


I do believe that there are situations where it's not malicious, I was just bothered by how many women were proud of their ability to fake, which suggested particularly demeaning situations, not innocent white lies.

That said, if a guy is doing something wrong, he has to learn at some point! I believe people more often tell white lies because they're afraid to be upfront than because they're trying to protect someone's feelings. In most cases if you're upfront, the guy will be initially hurt but grateful as the conversation opens up on how he can please you better. And if his ego is too big to do that, then he's not worth your time anyways.


True again....but some men would simply dump a woman for her honesty.Make her feel badly for her inability to come with him,and consider herself "inept" for not being able to with a partner.'Specific Techinique' isn't enough of a reason for some men to get past the fact that they aren't really all that nessecary when it comes to a woman's orgasm.


If they dump you for that, let them, you're better off without them. If they bully or demean you for it, same. In a good relationship being honest and open in the bedroom is the only way towards good sex imo. Sure, sometimes we just click with partners and get each other off in the right ways, but in most cases there is a learning curve. If you're not willing to teach I don't believe you've any right to complain when the results aren't satisfactory. Remember you've had a lifetime with your body compared to your partner. I know no girl will ever be able to do certain things for me as well as I can do them myself, but that doesn't mean I prefer to do them alone or will deny her the knowledge of how to improve.

Anyways, I'm not interested in the gender debate. I'm not in any way saying women are more deceptive than men or whatever. I was just saying I was surprised and bothered by how many women in this thread were proud of their ability to fake an orgasm. I'm not trying to say women are worse for this.

Finally, I do mostly understand there's a lot of pressure on women to orgasm. Since it's so easy for men to orgasm, we expect women to be able to too, attach too much pride to giving orgasms, and ultimately add a lot of pressure to a situation that requires understanding, a comfortable environment and communication. This can be a tough thing for both sides to broach. Maybe when you're on a one night stand and have no long term interest in the person, it's easier to just fake by and move on. But if you're going into a serious relationship with someone you care about, being honest in the bedroom is the only way to go.
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 38
view profile
History
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 2/7/2010 10:20:46 AM

nothing sweet about meI'd fake it every single time with someone who was counting, I'd fake it with someone who was trying to figure out how to make me have more and more, but then I doubt I'd have more than one experience with someone like that....Honestly, I've faked it to get something over with when it's just not going as I'd hope as it's rude to just get up and leave halfway through. I've never been "caught"....More interestingly, I have tried to hide the fact that I am cumming, that was a much more interesting game.
What a deceitful lover.
My orgasm belongs to me, I'll have them when I want and how I want.
Then you should go someplace alone and have it. Why bother with the company/presence of a lover, if you're not interested in their input; and far more interested in deceiving them of any true or significant input from you. Sounds truly sad to me.
 KittenCatt
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 39
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 8/21/2011 9:42:08 PM
This is one of the creepiest, grossest threads....I'd rather be waterboarded than spend time with someone so weird and insecure that they need to secretly "count" what I'm doing during sex.....ick, blech, barf.
 Bladesmith81801
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 40
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 8/25/2011 6:33:35 PM
One of my exes was so bad I was the one that faked orgasms.
 missraven1
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 41
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 8/25/2011 7:36:16 PM
Seems to me to have to fake it means a woman is either too desperate to please her lover and/or is too weak-willed to express the truth therefore cheating herself out of her own enjoyment. Have to shake my head at that. No wonder we're left with males out there who must think every woman they have straightforward penetrative sex with gets off so it comes as a revelation to them to request manual stimulation (for example) so YOU also get to the state of bliss he's at. Being honest about it favours everyone (including future lovers) as it can only improve a man's skill as a lover not to mention make him less selfish!
 PurpleFusias
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 42
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 8/25/2011 9:41:13 PM
I'm pretty sure I'm inccapable of orgasming so I've become quite the expert at faking. And no, it's not the guy that's doing something wrong....trust me. I enjoy sex...a lot...but I don't get that "wave of euphoria" or whatever's supposed to happen. Sucks but oh well haha.

O have this same problem, I love sex, even joke that I'm addicted to it, but I don't feel a "wave of euphoria" I've become quite wet and have lost myself in sex and I definitely enjoy it, but I don't really know what I'm missing out on there, so.....
 Simon4567
Joined: 10/9/2010
Msg: 43
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 8/25/2011 11:07:20 PM
one way to know if she is faking an orgasm is when she is all monotone and unexcited. instead of looking at you, she has her face buried in a cosmo mag. this is foolproof!
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 44
view profile
History
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 8/26/2011 8:38:12 PM

Ladies, have you ever had a lover you COULD NOT fake an orgasm with?


Since I can say with all honesty that I've never faked an orgasm, I have no idea whether I would pull that off.

But why would I want to?
 PRSweetie70
Joined: 8/4/2011
Msg: 45
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 8/27/2011 8:52:16 PM
I take anxiety medication that affects my ability to have an orgasm. I can do it, myself, but not with penetration or oral. I fake it. I don't want the guy to feel bad about it.

 poker_fan_in_nyc
Joined: 4/6/2007
Msg: 46
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 8/28/2011 4:30:08 AM
My body reacts differently when I have an orgasm (to all types) that he is very much aware of...not sure how it could be faked unless the guy really is not aware and doesn't know what he was doing...
 tevenames
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 47
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 8/28/2011 6:25:06 PM
Don't do it, we shall try again soon!
 Pasionlatina529
Joined: 8/5/2011
Msg: 48
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 8/28/2011 7:10:55 PM
smh... i fake nothimg
 bobbijo35
Joined: 7/4/2009
Msg: 49
view profile
History
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 8/29/2011 8:49:22 PM
have you ever watched the movie the dirty truth? he says to fake because your not the only person in the room=)
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 50
view profile
History
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 8/29/2011 11:55:29 PM
I read that quite a few women do fake orgasms, but it seems bizarre to me. And a complete turnoff, because it makes what you're doing into a performance--and probably not a very convincing one. Instead of being lost in the feeling, you're thinking about it. It's hard for me to imagine that a guy would like his partner to put on an act.

There's going to be a misfire now and then, for both of you, so why pretend otherwise? It's not a big deal, and you should both be able to shrug and laugh about it. When you do that, rather than worrying about how you're doing, you take the pressure off. And that makes it more likely things will click the next time.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Women faking orgasm