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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What      Home login  
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 Spoken For
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 26
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My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I would tell her to get her daughter out of her house, so she can have her own life. She's already "done her time" raising her kid(s) and is now entitled to something for herself. If the daughter can't handle the way things are at moms house, then the daughter needs to get out.

Of course this will never happen as long as mom continues to cave in to her daughters demands. Someday when she realizes that she's going to grow old alone, she'll grow some vertabrae and boot the daughter out.
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 27
My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/7/2010 4:10:44 PM
Just to give the general idea (so the extremist out there, be quiet) :

As the British say: Spare the rode, spoil the child.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 28
My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/7/2010 4:32:32 PM
~OP~ I can only speak from my own life, my step-father was 10 years older than me. I HATED him in the beginning (but I was 10!) He literally had the patience in a human being that is rare and that I've never encountered again. He loved my Mother, tolerated me (from my perceptions now) and was, without a doubt, the best Father/Grandfather to my son that I've personally witnessed (they were together until I was nearly 35.) The sad part about your situation? You aren't dealing with a child, you are dealing with TWO children. The Mother and her daughter. I don't see you winning in this situation. (I don't think it has to do with the difference between the GF and you.) I think it has to do with the reality you are dealing with a woman who has NO control over her daughter. That isn't likely going to change. JMO
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 29
My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/7/2010 4:38:41 PM
As the British say: Spare the rode, spoil the child.
So are you saying the mother erred in not allowing her child more latitude in bike riding?


you are dealing with TWO children. The Mother and her daughter.
Good point vge, this woman was a child-mother and may be lacking significantly in her own emotional development. Perhaps that is why she feels attracted to someone your age!
 gotchagrl
Joined: 1/28/2010
Msg: 30
My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/7/2010 4:39:32 PM
How does she feel about you...and how do you feel about her? Go from there....if its love...the kid will eventually grow up, come around...or get a life of her own.
 Prime Material
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 31
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My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/7/2010 6:03:23 PM
@whzcheatinwho- You hit the nail on the head! It doesn't matter where we go. We're always at my house, but the daughter will always call while we're together to run guilt trips on her mom. The 1st thing she always say is that her mom is putting a man over her. This has been with every guy she's dated since her husband died. The daugther is a college graduate, but her mom thinks something is mentally wrong with the her. You're right its not about living conditions, its about making her mom unhappy.
 EmotionallyDetached
Joined: 10/28/2009
Msg: 32
My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/7/2010 6:19:10 PM
Her daughter is jealous of her mother because she has a man. If your girlfriend won't put her foot down with her daughter, then it is high time for you to hit the road. No amount of pleading will work with her and it seems as if she is trying to make up for something in the past.

Your gf is ten years older than you, which makes her 15 years older than her daughter. Having babies as a teen is tough on many levels. I think that guilt is the big problem here and she seems to think that laying low with her daughter is going to make up for what she lacked in while raising her up from such a young age.

Doesn't look like her daughter is going anywhere anytime soon. You don't have to put up with that nonsense and there couldn't be that much love in the world that would make anyone want to stay under those conditions. Sacrifice is a **** so pick yourself up by the boot straps and keep it moving.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 33
My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/7/2010 6:48:40 PM
Get out of the relationship now! Once a kid, grown or not, decides that they don't want mom or dad dating someone then your relationship is doomed. Just break up with her now because it will only get worse.
 walking the pooch
Joined: 10/31/2009
Msg: 34
My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/7/2010 7:28:11 PM
Unless you have a sexual interest in the 25 year old get the heck out of town.
 WasabiGal2
Joined: 1/21/2010
Msg: 35
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My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/7/2010 7:28:59 PM

Ok WOW...is it "Kid ruins relationship" week on PoF?


that's what I was thinking....toddler-type kids, kids-kids, teenagers, kids with disabilities...and now young adults

nothing you can do, OP, unless the mother is willing to take a stand. If it were me, I wouldn't stick around. There are lots of single, childless women your own age...

unless on some level you like the sneaking around and the drama?
 cucme65
Joined: 10/20/2008
Msg: 36
My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/7/2010 8:08:46 PM

We've been together for about a month and its great, we love each other. Should I stick it out or let it be.


You've been together for only a month and you "love" each other? If I were the 25 year old daughter I'd have a problem too.
 Chill Pill
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 37
My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/7/2010 8:29:37 PM
You're in LOVE after a month. Really?

She cries and begs you to stay but has no back bone with her kid?

Her kid manipulates you and so does she. Do you like it?

That mother daughter dyad is not going to change without therapy.

Do you want to be the therapist or were you looking for a girl friend.

You are going to need therapy if you stay, the patience of a saint and prolly a script of valium. There is to much damage done. You have a classic case of babies raising babies.
A girl can get laid at 15 and have a kid, doesn;t make her a mother. 25 years later doesnt necessarily make her a mother either.

They have a toxic, sick relationship. You think you can make a difference with a "sensible" conversation. Forget it. You may as well be speaking Greek. This daughter doesn;t respect her mother or you. She sounds like a self centered lil witch.

She doesn't even like you, you think you can make any kind of impact on her? Good LUCK.

If you think your in LOVE after a month, maybe you need some help too. She won't put her foot down??? Doesn't sound like she is in LOVE...at all.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 38
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My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/7/2010 10:16:18 PM
Sounds like a big dramatic mess, I'd leave them to be together and find someone sane to date, while suggesting they get therapy. They both sound extremely immature and
 edencapwell
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 39
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My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/7/2010 10:55:21 PM
hmm...now let me get this straight. her daughter is ONLY 5 years younger than you? well that's a bit odd don't you think? also you have been with your gf for ONLY one month and you are both in love?? well that's just stupid and ridiculous and i don't believe it. you can't possibly know someone well enough to love them in such a short time. i say dump her and move on. or maybe date the daughter since you are much closer in age. you probably have more in common with her than the mother.
 edencapwell
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 40
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My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/7/2010 11:02:02 PM
@IgorFrankensteen-that’s a fair assessment! I never intended to date a woman this old. In her defense she was married when she was 15 so she does have morals, but I can definitely see where you’re coming from.


married @ 15? wow, WTF?? where is she from? Kansas or Louisiana?? i don't think it's legal where i live to get married when you are still a child. that's kind of disgusting really.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 41
My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/8/2010 1:03:59 AM

We've been together for about a month and its great, we love each other.

Love each other? After about four weeks, you’re just getting to know one another, and if you would wipe the steam off the love goggles for a second, you would see that this woman and The Bad Seed come as a set. My advice? Never be the hand that rocks the dysfunctional cradle.
 AGhost
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 42
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My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/8/2010 3:29:18 AM
Bro ; listen up and listen close..... I'm going to be to the point , & blunt about this... Leave that woman & , her tripped out a_s daughter alone !!! I wouldn't give a rats a_s if she 15 years old ! Nor do I give a damn , as to the reasons "why", she exhibits the character traits she does ! (Abuse, "molestation", neglect, whatever !) YOU , are INNOCENT !
Inspite of anything , her daughter might have experienced throughout her life ! It's a deffinant red flag bro !!! :o Take it from me ; i'm speaking from experience. I promise you ! If you choose to stay involved with that woman. You WILL revictimize yourself ! And ultimately , you will have noone to blame in the end ; but YOURSELF ! :(

P.S It's hard enough to deal with women in general, (And all of their stupid ideaology) as it is ! Without having to deal with her tripped out a_s daughter too ! wtf ! Is she pissed , because her mom attracts more attention than she does ! :( Laugh if you want ; but don't rule this possibility out... Women can be VERY "territorial" ! Either way ; you'd better know whats good , and know when to walk away.....
 Spoken For
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 43
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My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/8/2010 3:49:52 AM

The 1st thing she always say is that her mom is putting a man over her.

After spending 25 years raising this adult-child, moms answer to this should be "That's right, I am." Click.

Of course the ideal thing would be not to answer the phone at all when she calls, but like I said, this woman is going to have to grow a spine in order to deal with this daughter of hers.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 44
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My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/8/2010 5:45:06 AM
One month? And you think this level of BS is worth it? The daughter will never leave or change. No normal man would put up with that kind of garbage.
 lily1990
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 45
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My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/8/2010 6:51:40 AM
ok,

I have to say that you need to get out of that relationship while you can. If there is no respect from the mother or from the daughter then there is no reason for you to be there. Take it from me, I was in a relationship for seven months and It was hell. He had six girls ranging in age from 13-21 and they had no respect for anyone. No matter what I tried to do I kept hitting walls and getting no where. Not only did I not get respect from them but I didnt get the respect from the BF. You are not getting the respect from either one because the mother lets the 24 year old treat you like that and she doesnt put her foot down. It sounds like you need to find someone that will respect you and get the hell out of there.
 eattoplease
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 46
My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/8/2010 7:31:19 AM
yep the usuall....your in a no win situation....at 25 she shouldnt be vying for her moms attention and should be focused on her own life.....unless her mom puts her foot down your done....been there and done that....kids just dont grow up....good luck
 purrtypurr
Joined: 8/24/2009
Msg: 47
My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/8/2010 5:44:46 PM
I recently dated someone who's 12 year old daughter was not too pleased about it....she was definitely his boss........it does not matter what age the child is.........if they start to meddle.........RUN.......it only puts stress in the relationship.........that's what I did......and I have no regrets.......
 BorneoBabe
Joined: 12/3/2006
Msg: 48
My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/8/2010 10:00:58 PM
Have you posted this same thread twice???

She wants you....She is jealous of momma..

That's why the attitude....

Date the daughter instead...you'll get a few more years out of her.
 loganlots
Joined: 12/25/2009
Msg: 49
My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/8/2010 10:12:35 PM

I never intended to date a woman this old. In her defense she was married when she was 15 so she does have morals, but I can definitely see where you’re coming from. Thank you for not being judgmental.


My daughter at 15 was in Middle School getting an education, not out there getting herself pregnant and then having to get married. That means this girl may have been 14 when she actually bonked around ?????? You call this morals? Sorry .... I don't see it! Shotgun marriage does not fall under that category.

Furthermore, where was her mother when she was bonking around ?
 gonewalkabout2
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 50
My girlfriend's 25 yr old daughter is ruining our relationship? What should I do?
Posted: 2/8/2010 10:16:44 PM
Just change how you normally do things with your gal ...you can invite her to stay over at your house so you both focus to strengthen your relationship. if you two are meant to be....what you are whinning here will then be a passing wind
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