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 AUTHOR
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 26
Birth ControlPage 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
^^^I'd like to hear more about the world where you live...one where a guy drills you so many times a day that between the two of you it's impossible to keep condoms in stock...where STD's exist only in horror films...where women are incapable of rejecting a man who refuses to wear a raincoat...where kittens run through fields of poppies...
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 27
Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 7:28:35 AM
what an hypocrite thread! I didn't read any replies, but I can imagine!

So on one hand we have the "my body my choice"
and on the other hand we got "you pay for MY birth control".

what a double standard!

Listen, it's YOUR pills for YOUR body: so YOU pay for it.

Anyway, personally, I ALSO use condoms (pills do not protect against std), and am buying them as I also want to be sure of the "quality" .

so PFFFT!

it's double protection, so each buy their own.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 28
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Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 7:32:40 AM

what an hypocrite thread! I didn't read any replies, but I can imagine!

So on one hand we have the "my body my choice"
and on the other hand we got "you pay for MY birth control".

what a double standard!
After you read the thread, I'm sure you'll come back in and apologize for your rant towards the many women that do take responsibility for this.

Let us know how crow tastes also...
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 29
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Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 7:53:27 AM
If you don't trust a woman to maintain her birth control when she says she is, you shouldn't be in a relationship with that person. Birth control does fail so a man can wrap it up even if he believes she is faithfully taking her pills.

I used birth control pills but some women's systems cannot tolerate them, or they have a family history that advises against using oral contraceptives. My eldest brother was conceived while using an IUD so looking at it as the question was asked, he was responsible for the birth control in their marriage.


In a committed relationship, I still think each member of the couple should be responsible for their own birth control. Or at the very least work together toward something that's manageable, instead of just expecting the other person to sort it.

Good post Eldrida, I was kind of thinking the same thing, if people were responsible for themselves regardless, fewer problems and unexpected pregnancies.
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 30
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Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 7:56:27 AM
LMAO Too funny!


<div class="quote">what an hypocrite thread! I didn't read any replies, but I can imagine!

So without a clue the keyboard spills forth such a badly planned rant. Me thinks someone's personal issues are peeking out. Especially funny since most in the thread seem to advocate taking responsibility for your own personal protection and buying your own to use, as should your partner. But thanks for the laugh.

I still don't understand why so many say BC is solely the womans reponsibility. Yes, a woman bears much of it since it is her body, but if the man doesn't want a baby either it's not that much to ask he use a condom. It's not just about trust, but BC fails. If both parties are using BC correctly the chances for an "oops" diminish greatly.
 RK831
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 31
Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 7:59:55 AM

In another thread there was a lot thrown out about whose responsibility is birth control. Obviously, outside of a committed relationship, I would say each individual is responsible for themselves, but I am wondering when in a committed relationship, who do you think should be responsible for birth control? Should men trust that women are on the birth control they say they are on? What are you thoughts? Experiences?

Assuming you and your parter are both clean and tested, how about anal sex? I don't think you can get pregnant from anal sex.
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 32
Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 8:03:41 AM
Just some food for thought: on the news last night they had a short article about foods that can interact with medications, and they stated that licorice (red or black) can affect how effective the birth control pill is.
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 33
Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 8:12:31 AM
WOW am flabbergasted completely!@
I've read the entire thread, and to the exception of one or two who suggest that they should split the bill:
-In the end, the responsibility is up to both partners.
- I personally think in a "committed relationship" it is boths responsiblity in saying that since I am not a big fan of condoms.{complete STD testing is also done}

that vast majority have the common sense to autoprotect themselves and not to let someone else do their work! Unlike older thread of the exact same nature, where there was a 50% -50% little war, I see that people has wise up quite a lot now!

Congrats!, and am big enough of a man to admit I was wrong and that I've jumped to the POF conclusion to soon.

:)))

Eldrida and lint spot: lol! you made me laugh in ways you cannot know with your little add-ons and completely wrong comments.


EDIT: Myblueshaddow: do you think that a men, with 2 cent of brain will trust a women with birth control in 2010, when it is the number ONE and oldest trap in the book?? (not saying that the current people present does it, but if they are honest they will agree that many many many maaaaaaany women have used methods, to get the guy, security or his money)

We learned to protect ourselves and our wallet too: better safe then sorry!
 myblueshadow
Joined: 11/11/2009
Msg: 34
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Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 8:21:04 AM
I have to say that I am surprised at the number of people who responded that even within a long-term committed relationship, they don't trust their partner to use birth control properly.

This wasn't really intended to be about who pays. I was trying to get an idea of whether or not people trust each other. Do women expect the men they love to trust that they are using birth control and do men trust that the women they love are using birth control. Seems there are a lot of untrusting people out there. Is birth control the only thing that you don't trust your partners about or is it other things as well? (finances, bill paying, taking care of kids, pets, etc?)
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 35
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Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 10:02:09 AM

I have to say that I am surprised at the number of people who responded that even within a long-term committed relationship, they don't trust their partner to use birth control properly.


I don't think it's totally about trusting or not trusting your partner, it's also about trusting the forms of BC used. All birth control methods have a failure rate. If both parties in the relationship are adamant about not having kids, they can both take action to prevent it by BOTH using birth control to narrow down the chances of BC failure. If I am engaging in sex with a long term partner I do trust them, I just don't trust BC to be 100%, hence why I think both my partner and I should use BC.

When you add in that many are also uninformed of the things that can cause BC to fail(i.e. types of lubes, antiboitics/medicine, illness/vomiting, etc.), both parties using birth control only makes sense. Maybe if more people took the responsibility on themselves to use the best BC available to them(for men and women) there would be fewer people crying about some one trying to trap them, etc.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 36
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Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 12:00:37 PM
BOTH partners are responsible for birth control! Unless one of them WANTS kids, and, well...then you've got a problem.
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 37
Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 5:22:43 PM

The gay world is another example which I won't go into but
condom usage is not good there either and we are talking about
AIDS and not pregnancy.


Do you honestly believe that AIDS is not a concern for the heterosexual world? The fastest growing group with HIV infection is heterosexual females. EVERYONE should be using condoms to avoid the spread of this. Just because someone may look healthy, doesn't mean that they are. And regular testing for STDs should also be conducted on those that are sexually active.

As a side note: Don't think that just because you're in a "committed" relationship that you shouldn't worry about this. Cheating does happen and STDs don't care whether you're committed or not.
 Pagan-girl
Joined: 2/7/2010
Msg: 38
Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 5:43:24 PM
There is a very simple answer to this.
Your body. Your responsibility.
You wanna be protected from STI's and an unplanned pregnancy?
"Put on a glove, man!"
Or make the partner do it.
Seriously, not that hard to say, "hmmm, I think I'll be smart here and use protection."
If you're married, then hopefully you have enough of a comfortable rapport to talk contraception with eachother.
Guys, there are some wierd girls out there. If she says, "it's okay, I'm on the pill". Don't trust it! Pre ejaculation can get a woman pregnant!!!!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 39
Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 5:53:21 PM

Your body. Your responsibility.



Should men trust that women are on the birth control they say they are on? What are you thoughts? Experiences?

I've known for my entire adult life that the ultimate responsibility was mine. I had one child, and knowing that other children (for me) was NOT an option, I opted for surgical alteration which rendered me unable to become pregnant. To this very day ~ I've been responsible for my own body and my own choices. When it comes to STDs? That falls on both parties, at least in my opinion. JMO
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 40
Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 6:46:27 PM
It's everybody's responsibility. For me, this means condom use--I had one committed relationship where we didn't use them after we both got our test results back because we knew we were disease free and he'd had a vasectomy, but unless I'm in another situation like that, it's condoms all the way. If he refuses to wear a condom, there's no sex.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 41
Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 6:51:47 PM

Condoms break, condoms leak, condoms fail...nothing is perfect...gah...the thought of having to worry about all of this all over again, even if only by proxy, is enough to make a grown woman cry!


I can actually see why some people would be concerned with using condoms. I think the one major problem I have with condoms, is the fact that they start to slip/slide off of the penis.

This happened with the last guy I was seeing, and I can see why it is highly recommended that women use a form of contraception.
 myblueshadow
Joined: 11/11/2009
Msg: 42
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Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 8:42:13 PM

OP, this topic was covered (in a herculean 11 pages no less) here:

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts12658044.aspx


I'm not sure if you didn't read this thread or that thread completely. That thread is about who pays for birth control. I specifically stated that I wasn't referring to who is responsible for paying for birth control!
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 43
Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 11:11:10 PM

They say women who don't have kids have a much higher risk of breast cancer and although nobody has taken the drug makers to court and won (ha ha good luck) my pharmacist says lots of people in her industry think the reason more childless women get breast cancer is because they took the pill for so long. It's true.


I got a feeling your right there, in my opinion any substance that interferes with the natural cycle can't be good for you. Never taken the pill, and condoms are a MUST...If it's not on, its simply not on....
 Ependa
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 44
Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 11:18:41 PM
I think anybody who can't approach this as a team and also trust the other has much more serious issues if they're in a committed relationship. I personally take on primary responsibility for birth control because I couldn't have an abortion. That's a huge incentive to get it right if you aren't ready (well..now at 45 no longer ready/willing) to take on the responsibility of creating a new life.
If I were a man, (obviously I can only hypothesize) I'd share equal responsibility, but I'd also trust my partner; ie. if we decided upon birth control, I wouldn't check to make sure she's taking it (unless she's a flake, then we'd openly talk about other options or I'd remind her every damn day, lol)..but I wouldn't mistrust her. I think if you have that, you just don't have much of a committed relationship anyway.

Oh...financially..if it's a hardship, then in a committed relationship of course it should be split. If it's not a hardship, I don't see the point in splitting it regardless. I've always taken care of my own and been lucky enough to have insurance, so it wasn't an issue.

If you aren't in a committed relationship..I'd say all bets are off. You should both ensure you are comfortable with the arrangement, but the price of the pill, diaphragm, etc..hers. Condoms, either (but use them for safe sex, not birth control! mhe =) And, you're both ultimately responsible if a baby is conceived. I know, controversial area. Much easier to avoid it in the first place.
 myblueshadow
Joined: 11/11/2009
Msg: 45
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Birth Control
Posted: 2/19/2010 9:43:48 AM

I tend to be trusting in my heart but my head knows that over 40% (can't remember the exact estimates) CHEAT so why would you be the one with the ISSUES if you prefer not to take the risk of someone giving you a disease.


While I see your point, I'm afraid that this is the reason we have such a high divorce yet. If you go into something expecting it to fail it probably will. I think there has to be a middle ground where we can protect ourselves from harm but still allow ourselves to be vulnerable.
 Ependa
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 46
Birth Control
Posted: 2/19/2010 10:15:35 AM

Agreed - in theory, but I don't think the issue is so much with the person who doesn't completely trust the other.

I tend to be trusting in my heart but my head knows that over 40% (can't remember the exact estimates) CHEAT so why would you be the one with the ISSUES if you prefer not to take the risk of someone giving you a disease.

If 40% of the population were car thieves, would you leave your car unlocked. And if you didn't would it be YOU who has the TRUST issues?

The problem I have is with people assuming the pill is an easier option for women than condoms are for the man.

hmm..well, there are stats and then there is the reality you create...just my opinon, I realize this is probably not bought by all, especially those that have been cheated on. I won't be with a man lacking in integrity.
I'm not saying don't use condoms for safe sex/disease prevention. Merely, don't rely on them as your main form of birth control. My only contention with that is I got pregnant when using that as birth control (sort of..it takes willpower to remove said condoms from the top drawer of the dresser, just saying ;-) No regrets on my daughter. But there are better forms of birth control. Especially for those somewhat challenged in the 'oh wait, let's stop everything right now' department ;-)
And...I don't leave my 'car unlocked'...I've got birth control I can rely on ;-0 and it's not condoms or any other 'intervention required at critical moments' devices ;-)
 Irish..
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 47
Birth Control
Posted: 2/19/2010 11:51:24 PM
If you don't want a kid, then it is your responsibility. If you leave the responsibility to another person, then you are also leaving the decision to them. Is this the outcome you want?
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 48
Birth Control
Posted: 1/24/2011 8:05:44 AM
Since it takes both a man and a woman to make a baby then it's both their responsibility.I wish that they would come out with some type of birth control pill for men.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 49
Birth Control
Posted: 1/24/2011 9:07:28 AM
I am not going to trust anyone but myself to control this aspect.

I had a vasectomy in 04.

With the extremely low failure rate.
0.5% the first year and 0.02% there after it is very unlikely I could ever father a child again.

Couple that with condoms for protection from STD's and the chance become less likely than winning the lottery!

IMHO anyone that leaves something that important to someone else is asking for trouble!
 x_file_
Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 50
Birth Control
Posted: 1/24/2011 10:16:41 AM

Obviously, outside of a committed relationship, I would say each individual is responsible for themselves, but ...


Your sentence is few words too many. There should be no "but". You need no more than:



Each individual is responsible for them self.


Shared responsibility, pertaining to sex or anything else, should only be considered if each individual has sufficiently demonstrated he or she is responsible.

To assign (or share) responsibility based on commitment, gender, preference, the flip of a coin, or any other criteria other than the above, is ridiculous. You want to assign responsibility to those who take it upon themselves and have demonstrated they can and will be responsible. It is only when this condition is met one may consider to delegate responsibility. Until such a time, each individual is responsible for them self.
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