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 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 69
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Birth ControlPage 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I think any individual who feels not-yet-ready for parenthood should take care of their own birth control. If you trust someone else with such an important part of your life, that's on you. If they're liars, that's on them - but doesn't relieve you of responsibility for your own birth control.

(Note: Men can also trick women into pregnancy; may not be as common as the other way around, but its certainly not unheard of so my comment applies to both genders).
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 70
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Birth Control
Posted: 1/27/2011 1:46:56 PM
Man's Responsibility because:
- He may never -truly- know of his partners level of integrity or competence.
- He doesn't have any choice in the matter post conception. He can then find himself in financial ruin because the relationship will [probably] break down because he's being forced to have kids he didn't want [with her specifically and/or at the current juncture in time] in the first place.
- Society as a whole really does not care about what men have to say when it comes to "the best interests of the child", and the legal system still makes men very much the disposable sex.

Woman's Responsibility because:
- Condoms are the least effective form of BC out of all the options available for sexually active people who may want kids in the future.
- All the repercussions of pregnancy/childbirth/abortions have to be handled by the woman. She should take the responsibility for the things that happen to her body.
- She is choosing the guy that will be impregnating her. Seeing how that is a big decision, I would hope that she chose wisely.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 71
Birth Control
Posted: 1/27/2011 1:47:33 PM

Men can also trick women into pregnancy


Yeah. By telling women they will pull out, before shooting their load.
 OrchidIsle
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 72
Birth Control
Posted: 1/27/2011 1:51:23 PM
I am new to the dating scene post divorce.
I dated someone from POF for 5 mos and we barely got intimate, but discussed the boundaries of safe sex.

I told him it was BOTH of our responsibilities to get STD tests and Birth Control.
Rather than discuss all our past sexual histories, I said "Lets trade Papers".

He avoid the subject altogether. Everytime we got close, he would come up with an excuse why he didnt buy condoms.

I was not taking any risks..I have too much living left to DO!
He complained that I was on the pill, so why couldnt he go "free". Um, because you bonehead-you did not do your end of the deal.

I am disease free and Im supposed to take your word for it? Just because you feel ok and it did not turn green last time...does not mean you passed inspection.

The bonehead even had the nerve to tell me all his other exes were "fixed" so he didnt have to worry about condoms. Yes, and those relationships worked out SO well and were going SO strong!

I work in the healthcare field and have seen TOO many things from people who gave in "just this one time" and pay the price of a lifetime. Careless sex is NOT worth that.

So, for me..we BOTH are responsible or we BOTH are celibate!
 mingo88
Joined: 10/12/2010
Msg: 73
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Birth Control
Posted: 1/27/2011 4:13:24 PM
but here's my question. if condoms aren't very effective and not a good form of birth control, are they really good at preventing STD's?? always wondered about that.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 74
Birth Control
Posted: 1/27/2011 8:53:56 PM

but here's my question. if condoms aren't very effective and not a good form of birth control, are they really good at preventing STD's?? always wondered about that.

Not as good as people would like to believe. For HIV, you cut your risk in half. For other stds, not so much.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 75
Birth Control
Posted: 1/27/2011 9:31:04 PM
LOL personally their is no way in God's green earth, I would leave the responsibility of my life circumstances up to anyone else.
 mingo88
Joined: 10/12/2010
Msg: 76
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Birth Control
Posted: 1/27/2011 9:35:28 PM
yes i believe i heard you can get HPV even with a condom. i think it's because you get it thru skin to skin contact and of course the condom doesn't cover everything. guess the only way to be really safe is abstinence but not too many people willing to do that, me included.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 77
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Birth Control
Posted: 1/28/2011 12:47:35 PM
Basically, as an adult, we should each take care of our own bodies, and do our best to prevent anything we don't want from happening to them. But....women like to be taken care of. They usually prefer that men make arrangements for things, make the decisions for them (as long as the decision is the one SHE wants), and of course, provide a good income. It's simply traditional in a whole lot of ways. Going along with that, they prefer to defer the responsibility for birth control, and of course the cost of raising a child, to the man. Despite it being the 21st century, you will often still hear 'I had his child', and 'It's your baby' whenever they wish to avoid responsibility for not taking care of their own uterus. It' simple: If I don't want to catch a disease, I am expected to take the precautions to prevent that, and if I get infected, it's my own damn fault. If women don't want to get pregnant, they should take precautions to prevent that as well. Be responsible for your own body. Anything else puts you into the child's role, of expecting others to take care of you, because either you're too ignorant or lazy to take care of it yourself. That goes for men as well as women.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 78
Birth Control
Posted: 1/28/2011 12:53:16 PM
If a child is not desired, it is BOTH parties responsibility.
Ideally, a condom and spermicide shoud be used IN CONJUNCTION with a pill, nuvaring, IUD, patch, implanon, shot, or whatever the woman chooses to use.

Keep in mind though, that hormonal or invasive birth control is not right for all women.

Right now, i am using the pill, and myself and my partner mutually decided that in the very small chance that the pill fails, we will be ok with raising a child. BUT, a man who doesnt want kids AT ALL, is freaking stoooooooooooopid for not using a condom and spermicide, that is dumb beyond beleif.

I may have to shift the responsibility to my boyfriend, though.

Because i smoke and am in my 30's, my ob/gyn thinks i should consider the paraguard IUD rather than take hormones. My last cycle was awful, i had painful cramps, passed clumps of tissue and clots, and my cervix dilated to let all that stuff out, whish was excruciatingly painful.

I refuse to use an IUD. I find outting something inside my uterus to be quite un-natural, i will not put copper in my body, i have allergic reactions easily, and it makes you bleed ehavier, uh-uh no way nope not doing it.

I can not use nuvaring, mirena, implanon, or depo-provers, the hormone dosages are to high for me.

I could use the progestin-only pill, but you have to take it at the exact same time every day, i can already envision that failing bigtime.

I have informed my partner well ahead of time i may only do one more cycle on the pill then quit it, so he has best stock up on condoms and nonoxynl-9 asap, if he chooses not to have children.

I dont see how anyone who doesnt want kids can put their pro-creation fate in the hands of another, or into a medication or device that MIGHT FAIL.
Then they will **** about the kids they brought into the world, they need a nice tall glass of "SHUT THE EFF UP'.

it is quite stupid to have sex with a woman and just assume she is on birth control, again, not every woman can handle birth control, or wants to use fake hormones or have un-natural devices shoved up their twats and into their wombs.
Birth control can have very serious side effects for some women. If you arent willing to rubber up, dont have sex.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 79
Birth Control
Posted: 1/28/2011 2:38:03 PM

On Topic: I can't recall there ever being a time when I didn't consider birth control to be primarily my responsibility, since I'm the one that would be left to face any consequences at the end of the day.

If I were a woman, I would certainly think that way. Nevertheless, I've had a couple of girlfriends who were less worried about becoming a mom than I was about becoming a dad and they couldn't seem to take their pills without missing days. So, I ended up insisting on condoms even though they complained.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 80
Birth Control
Posted: 1/28/2011 3:35:41 PM

why couldn't you use Implanon instead, since it's progestin-only as well? I love it, no muss, no fuss, no worrying about timing pills.


I really want to use it!
But when i did my family planning intake, they said they dont do insertions on overweight women. There is some speculation that the progestin in it does not work its way in the bloodstream on fatter women, as it does on women at a more ideal weight. Why, i dont know.
I have lost 15 pounds since the visit though so my fingers are crossed that i can lose enough within the next 6 months to use it!

In the meantime they gave me ortho-novum monophasic pills. They are supposed to be better for women in their 30's than the usual tri-phasic pills, but im not sure i can handle them, im giving it one more cycle to see if my body can adjust, or not.

I have never forgotten a pill, i can remember to take it daily, but i know for darn sure that i wouldjnt be able to use one i have to take at the exact same time daily, sometimes im up early and go to bed early and sometimes i have insomnia and stay up late and sleep in the next day, i would be knocked up within weeks, lol.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 81
Birth Control
Posted: 1/28/2011 7:14:15 PM
I dont know if you have heard of Fem-Cap, but if i go off the pill, i think i will try it, along with condoms and spermicide, until i can get down to a better weight and be able to get implanon.
Its only 70 bucks, and it lasts 2 years before having to be replaced.
I have looked at the website and it sems like a fabulous non hormonal/majorly invasive method.
Granted you have to insert it every time you have sex, and might be a bit of a PITA to have to stop and go put it in, and it is really best to use it with a condom and nonoxynl-9, as it only has like an 85% effectiveness rate used on its own, but i still think it sounds awesome if you cant handle hormones and dont want an IUD.
 OrbitalDissonance
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 82
Birth Control
Posted: 1/28/2011 7:42:07 PM
Trust, but also cover your a$$. The problem with bc is that there is no indication that it is or is not working...at least not until it's too late.

You should always be responsible for your own birth control. Absent any type of malice, birth control is not 100%, and honest human errors do occur.
 mingo88
Joined: 10/12/2010
Msg: 83
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Birth Control
Posted: 1/28/2011 10:14:25 PM
SweetnessinFlorida - so you won't use a hormone-free IUD but you will take the hormone laden pill? i don't understand that and it makes no sense!! copper is not gonna cause cancer, strokes, blood clots, etc. that you would get by taking the pill. the pill is unnatural, the IUD is definitely not!!! i've had an IUD for 10 years and i LOVE it, no worries, no mess, no forgetting to take it every day. and no side effects and no danger. i think it's the best birth control on the market. very cost effective too. obviously the pharmaceutical companies push the pill because they make more money and it's very lucrative. they don't care if you get breast cancer or other cancers or a stroke, it won't hurt them!! at least i don't have to worry about cancer or strokes because of the pill and i have peace of mind.

oh and btw, smoking causes cancer in case you haven't heard.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 84
Birth Control
Posted: 1/28/2011 11:23:23 PM
I am aware smoking can cause cancer.
I have had allergic reactions to copper, i do not like the idea of an object being placed into my uterus that doesnt belong there that could perforate my uterus, and i do not like the idea of bleeding heavier than normal. Plus having it inserted throrugh my cervix sounds super painful. Dont they have to dilate you and put a tube in?
It freaks me out. Perhaps i am being irrational, but it skeeves me the hell out bigtime.
My ob/gyn assured me it wasnt that big a deal, but i still just shuddered at the thought.

I know the pill is not perfect and is not right for all women, i wanted to try it for cycle regulation, lighter periods, and pregnancy protection, all in one punch.
I am already had problems with it, on the first pack i had an ugly time when i got to the week of sugar pills. Im trying another cycle to see if that was a one time thing, or if it continues. If it does im tossing the fvckers out,i already told my SO to buy a lot of condoms and spermicide jelly because im already over this birth control method.

I do want to have 2 more children over the next couple years, im am hoping to start trying to conceive in about a year, so it wouldnt really be worth the cost and the bother of getting it inserted and removed, i think.

Sooo im looking at the Fem-Cap as an option to be extra extra safe, since they wont give me implanon.

Is the diaphram even made and prescribed still?

Hey guys, birth control isnt always a walk in the park and sun shine and rainbows for women, so quit kvething about condoms! They seem REALLY easy compared to fake hormones, getting devices put into your uterus or into your upper arms, and all that jazz.
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 85
Birth Control
Posted: 1/29/2011 12:25:57 AM
Sweetness, it took me trying 8 different kinds of pills to find one that didn't cause MAJOR unwanted side effects for me (ranging from acne, from btw, a pill prescribed to TREAT acne, to nausea, to major stomach pains, to extra heavy bleeding). Anyway, from all the different kinds I tried, monophasic pills I found had the LEAST amount of side effects (The three different tri-phasics I was on caused MAJOR issues for me and I was ill for months on them). I also found, for me, any pills with estrogen in them cause major problems. I think it's really a matter of trial and error to find one that works for your body.

As I'm not a smoker I can't really speak about which one's are best for smokers, but if you haven't tried a monophasic one yet, I HIGHLY suggest it. The difference being that you receive the same dose of hormone every day of the month rather than it changing throughout the month as in a triphasic. Added bonus, because of this regulated hormone level in the body, I found any pms symptoms are non-existant.
 1234happy
Joined: 8/26/2010
Msg: 86
Birth Control
Posted: 1/29/2011 6:58:27 AM
I can’t understand why a man wouldn’t be doubly careful regarding birth control. Knowing that a woman has options, if a pregnancy occurs, and the only ‘option’ a man has at that point is to hope the woman makes the choice he wants. It seems absolutely crazy not to do everything possible to prevent that from happening.

Every time I hear a man say he leaves it up to the woman, I think he has a screw loose…

I think any individual who feels not-yet-ready for parenthood should take care of their own birth control. If you trust someone else with such an important part of your life, that's on you. If they're liars, that's on them - but doesn't relieve you of responsibility for your own birth control.

+1
Taking care of your own birth control does not mean saying “She told me she was on the pill” or “He said he would pull out.” That’s putting the responsibility on someone else.
 mingo88
Joined: 10/12/2010
Msg: 87
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Birth Control
Posted: 1/29/2011 9:08:11 AM
Sweetness, i can tell you quite honestly that the IUD did NOT hurt one bit. the doctor told me to take Ibuprofen but i really didn't need it. i was afraid too because i heard it might cause cramping when put in but nothing happened, didn't even feel it when she put it in.

i was on the pill for a while but i don't think it's worth the risks and i did develop gallstones which i'm quite sure were one of the side effects and that was VERY painful and not worth it. if i had never taken the pill, i probably would have never developed the gallstones. there are 2 kinds of IUDS, you might want to ask about Mirena which does have hormones similar to the pill. but i think it's only good for 4 years, then you either get it taken out or get a new one. that's for younger women who still might want more children. it doesn't have copper. i got the other one which is called Paraguard.
 Tigerbabygirl
Joined: 10/25/2010
Msg: 88
Birth Control
Posted: 1/29/2011 7:47:24 PM
sweeteness I had the mirena one once, it practically stops all bleeding with in a few months, is good for 5 yrs and is a very low dose of progesterone, safe for women over 35 and you barely feel them inserting it.
 Tigerbabygirl
Joined: 10/25/2010
Msg: 89
Birth Control
Posted: 1/29/2011 8:05:44 PM
I would tend to believe your gallstones are totally concidental... I had gallstones extremely bad, ended up with pancreatitis and almost died I was told. with a high fat diet you could have still gotten them whether or not you were on the pill...




What causes gallstones?

Scientists believe cholesterol stones form when bile contains too much cholesterol, too much bilirubin, or not enough bile salts, or when the gallbladder does not empty completely or often enough. The reason these imbalances occur is not known.

The cause of pigment stones is not fully understood. The stones tend to develop in people who have liver cirrhosis, biliary tract infections, or hereditary blood disorders—such as sickle cell anemia—in which the liver makes too much bilirubin.

The mere presence of gallstones may cause more gallstones to develop. Other factors that contribute to the formation of gallstones, particularly cholesterol stones, include

Sex. Women are twice as likely as men to develop gallstones. Excess estrogen from pregnancy, hormone replacement therapy, and birth control pills appears to increase cholesterol levels in bile and decrease gallbladder movement, which can lead to gallstones.

Family history. Gallstones often run in families, pointing to a possible genetic link.

Weight. A large clinical study showed that being even moderately overweight increases the risk for developing gallstones. The most likely reason is that the amount of bile salts in bile is reduced, resulting in more cholesterol. Increased cholesterol reduces gallbladder emptying. Obesity is a major risk factor for gallstones, especially in women.

Diet. Diets high in fat and cholesterol and low in fiber increase the risk of gallstones due to increased cholesterol in the bile and reduced gallbladder emptying.

Rapid weight loss. As the body metabolizes fat during prolonged fasting and rapid weight loss—such as “crash diets”—the liver secretes extra cholesterol into bile, which can cause gallstones. In addition, the gallbladder does not empty properly.

Age. People older than age 60 are more likely to develop gallstones than younger people. As people age, the body tends to secrete more cholesterol into bile.

Ethnicity. American Indians have a genetic predisposition to secrete high levels of cholesterol in bile. In fact, they have the highest rate of gallstones in the United States. The majority of American Indian men have gallstones by age 60. Among the Pima Indians of Arizona, 70 percent of women have gallstones by age 30. Mexican American men and women of all ages also have high rates of gallstones.

Cholesterol-lowering drugs. Drugs that lower cholesterol levels in the blood actually increase the amount of cholesterol secreted into bile. In turn, the risk of gallstones increases.

Diabetes. People with diabetes generally have high levels of fatty acids called triglycerides. These fatty acids may increase the risk of gallstones.

so unless one lives a perfect life with the perfect diet, they could possibly get these regardless if taking the pill or not
 mingo88
Joined: 10/12/2010
Msg: 90
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Birth Control
Posted: 1/29/2011 8:37:37 PM
well it's true the gallstones could have been caused by eating high fat foods which i was guilty of and also from being overweight but i still think the pill increased the risk of gallstones. both my grandmothers were overweight and they never had gallstones. i'm the only one in my family who had them. but if i had never taken the pill, i might not ever have had them and i was only on it for about a year and a half. like Favourite, i also got rid of my gallstones thru diet and by herbal methods. the only treatment they have is surgery and i believe it's major surgery. i haven't had a gallstone attack now since 2001!!! very happy that and i still have my gallbladder.

btw, i went to a gastroenterologist for the gallstones and i asked if it was diet related and he said no, it had nothing to do with diet but i think he was a quack as i'm quite sure it has everything to do with diet. some doctors know absolutely nothing about nutrition.
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 91
Birth Control
Posted: 1/29/2011 9:25:57 PM
I actually have to agree with you sweetness-one. It can sometimes take some trial and error to find a bc method that works for an individual person, but there certainly isn't a shortage of options.

I don't understand how any woman can "forget" to take her pill. I simply take mine as soon as I get up in the morning. Someone who is committed to preventing pregnancy and chooses to use the pill won't "forget" to take it.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 92
Birth Control
Posted: 1/29/2011 11:26:30 PM
Thanks for the advice ladies.

BarefootKitten, i am using Ortho-Novum (Nortrel is the generic version) 1-35, they were going to give me Ortho-Tri but when i told them i smoked they decided to send me home with a 3 month supply of a monophasic pill, and gave me some pamphlets on the paraguard and urged me to strongly consider it.
I did take Ortho-Tri in my early 20's and loved it, but i havent beeon on hormones in a good while and it seem;s like im not adjusting well.
As i said, i can remember to take a pill every day and i do, but if i took the mini-pill that has to be taken at the exact same hour and minute daily, i would be setting myself up for failure, i dont want to pop any surprises on my boyfriend.

Mingo and TigerBaby, if you dont mind me asking, how much heavier does having the IUD make your menstrual cycle? And the strings, do they soften up? Is it nerve-wracking going in to get it done? Do you have to keep it in there for 10 years or can you ask to have it removed earlier? (i do want more kids just not right this minute)
I feel like a huge pansy here, lol, every time i go to read the booklet on IUD's i cringe and toss it in a drawer.
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 93
Birth Control
Posted: 1/29/2011 11:50:03 PM
^^for what it's worth, I used an IUD for years and never had any problems. Never had heavy periods - nothing. It does hurt when it's being inserted and removed but really just for a second - like a pinprick. I had it removed so I could could have a baby and fell pregnant two months later. And I was 37 at the time.
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