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 Remington55
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 84
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?Page 3 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
There are many examples: For those who believe in God, or who believe in Jesus, the Pope, Muhammad, Alah, Crom, Elvis, Movies stars, oh the list goes on and on...

OoooooOOOh but you said, "...And have sex with them and be satisfied?..." Hmmmm, now that's going to be a tough one... How can you have sex with someone you can't see, yet believe in... (Other than the Pope...)

AND the Ex's, that's why they're Ex's, right? You can love 'em, have sex with them, oh the cliche's...

Others have eluded to "Friends" and that in itself can be expanded on to family, relatives, acquaintances and the illegal areas; Children, the dead, yuck... I don't even want to go there...

Hmmm the quality of your life depends on the quality & purity of your thoughts... Sometimes we can often can measure a person by the size of their dreams AND whether or not they live to their highest values...

Good luck with this thread...

Cheers,

**~Remington55~**
 Radium_Girl
Joined: 1/29/2010
Msg: 86
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/26/2010 8:58:09 PM
I dont think so, physical attraction is one of the key attractions to couples. It mental, physical and kosherness. I know for a fact that if I dont think the person I am seeing is hot or cute then it ain't happening.
 ifyoujustsmileatme
Joined: 1/22/2009
Msg: 88
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Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/27/2010 7:51:02 AM
Absolutely! I've done it a few times...and its been worthwhile....the last guy I dated did not appeal to me whatsoever. But I got to know him....I began to like him.....and sex with him was amazing.


When I read your question...all I could think of was all the married folks out there who are no longer attracted to their spouses. They love them of course...but the attraction is gone.
 InNCsearching
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 90
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/27/2010 8:52:31 AM
sure look at all the old men with beautiful younger women. they are attracted to him giving her his credit card after sex. happens all the time.
 MSD2012
Joined: 12/20/2009
Msg: 91
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/27/2010 9:31:58 AM
You can love someone and not be physically attracted to them, but...

if you are "in" love, no doubt there will be something about them, that you find quirky, endearing, lovable.

The opposite happens when you find someone extremely physically attractive. If they do something that hurts you, or have a habit that disgusts you..all of a sudden, they are not as attractive to you anymore.

example: a girl in a bikini on a beach who lights up a cigarette (and you are disgusted by smoking)
 Alyosha
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 92
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/27/2010 9:38:12 AM
I just came across your "Can you love someone you're not physically attracted to" and I wondered how or whether you resolved that situation?

Alas, there is a saying by WB Yeats about poetry that I think might also apply here: "You can't make the will / Do the work of the imagination."
 MSD2012
Joined: 12/20/2009
Msg: 93
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/27/2010 9:46:34 AM
if your imagination is lacking / invest in a paper bag
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 95
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/27/2010 12:07:01 PM
I do not think it is possible to be "in love with someone" without feeling a physical attraction towards them.. However we all know we can love people where there is no physical attraction present.. We can also feel very intense physical attraction without love ever being part of the equation..

thecatsmeoww
 greenmanfan
Joined: 10/7/2009
Msg: 96
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/27/2010 5:13:11 PM
Truth is, love has nothing to do with looks. Any person who says different is a moron....let love be what it is, LOVE
 NR91
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 97
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/27/2010 10:54:01 PM
I think it's quite impossible. I've unsuccessfully gotten the hearts of many.
 Spence56
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 98
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/28/2010 1:17:53 PM
Of course you can. You don't have sex with everyone you love in life. And sadly, as many will attest on this site, you don't love everyone you have sex with.

Some people choose to have physical intimate contact with another person for many reasons. Love is only one of the reasons and sometimes it's not even part of it.

I've never had sex with one of the two women that I've been head over heals in love with in my life. But the love for both women is the same kind of love that is so rare to find in life.

The difficult thing in life is finding someone we love that also loves us in the same way. So often it's one sided, and it takes great patience to not just settle for someone because you think they are the best you can do. Especially when the one you really wanted is just "around the corner."
 *.*.*GET-to-KNOW-me!*.*.*
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 99
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/28/2010 2:48:44 PM
Are you kidding me? Of course. If you love someone, they dont have to look

like a MEGA-MOViE-STAR, for you to share love with

them...besides...everyone as something attractive about them...you just

gotta find it....as long as he has good hygiene - is a clean person - and you love him for the inside......why not..?

Just, look for some of his attractive qualities..and make sure he's

sane and your all set.




-kade
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 101
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/28/2010 5:18:39 PM

I'm really puzzled by many of the PC responses here.
I just don't see how you can love someone for whom you have no physical attraction.
I mean, we're not talking about family members here, or friends....I assume that we're talking male/female romantic love.



Because the question was asked "Is it possible for people to be in love with someone with no physical attraction to them? And have sex with them and be satisfied?" It was never specifically stated that is it possible for people to be in "romantic love with someone and have no physical attraction. People are not being pc they are simply saying that yes it is possible to "love" someone and not be physically attracted to them, and that is called friendship.

No one is denying that sex and physical attraction are not only important,but necessary in a romantic relationship.People are only saying it is possible to love and not be physically attracted to someone.Apparently some people are also saying that they can have sex with someone and don't have to be physically attracted which is something I don't get at all.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 103
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/28/2010 6:11:40 PM
lady wa wa^^^^^ love can only mean romantic love because you do not love your friends lady wa wa, you may like there company and like doing stuff with them but it is not love you feel for them.

so the op can only mean in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 104
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/28/2010 6:15:46 PM

you do not love your friends lady



Perhaps you do not love your friends and family, but the rest of us do. You apparently are not capable of understanding the difference between different kinds of love or of loving your friends and family . How very sad.



so the op can only mean in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.



That's open to interpretation.
 KillingForCupcakes
Joined: 1/27/2010
Msg: 105
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/28/2010 6:25:56 PM
I disagree apollodrous...I love my mom, I am not in love with her. I love chocolate but I'm not in love with it. I love my best friend but I am not in love with her.

There are three kinds of love:

1) Eros love - known as "erotic love". This kind of love is based more on EMOTION and PHYSICAL attraction or lust. Because it is based on emotion and not anything more substantial than how good he/she looks or makes ME feel, it is fickle and fleeting and thus we hear people saying things like "I just fell out of love with him/her" once the passionate feelings have ebbed because you find that the relationship was built upon something that is superficial and not lasting.

2) Philos love - a love based on friendship between two people. Philos is the kind of love that is more mutually beneficial, you may care about what you are getting out of the friendship/relationship but you also care about what you are putting into it as well for the benefit of the other person.

3) Agape - unconditional love Agape love is above philos love and eros love. It is a love that is totally selfless, where a person gives out love to another person even if this act does not benefit her/him in any way. Whether the love given is returned or not, the person continues to love (even without any self-benefit). Kind of like the way a mother loves their child regardless of what they may do.

All too often people assume that love is an EMOTION and it's not...love takes work and love is most certainly a choice...anyone who says otherwise has simply chosen NOT to love. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with it...but it is a choice. Physical attraction is not a requirement for AGAPE love, it really only comes into play with EROS love. Don't believe me? Ask a blind person who is married and in love with their spouse.
 KillingForCupcakes
Joined: 1/27/2010
Msg: 107
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:45:10 PM
If by some freak accident or degenerative disease you lost your eyesight today you're saying you'd never have sex again because you cannot determine if your partner is PHYSICALLY attractive or not?
 albagood
Joined: 12/24/2009
Msg: 108
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:47:56 PM
The real question is, can you make a relationship work.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 109
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:50:19 PM
If by some freak accident or degenerative disease you lost your eyesight today you're saying you'd never have sex again because you cannot determine if your partner is PHYSICALLY attractive or not?



That is a good question cupcake, but we have our other senses too. Haven't you ever just gone wild over the sent of a particular man? Also touch is very important and if a man feels good to your touch that is also another way he can be attractive to you. Also the feeling you get when they hold you in their arms.That warm, fuzzy,safe and protected feeling is all a part of physical attraction.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 110
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:56:54 PM
^^^^ KillingForCupcakes its a proven fact by many therapists that people with eye sight cannot enter into a relationship and therefore love someone without being physically attracted to them.

also agrees with the poster above me
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 112
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/28/2010 9:26:36 PM
Another example is someone who is gay did not choose that and they most certainly cannot be in a relationship with a women and love them because why?..they are not physically attracted to the female sex.
 hamster-dance
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 113
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/28/2010 9:45:28 PM
Kind of. For me it's more like I become physically attracted to a person because I have feelings for them. When I love someone, or even like them a whole lot, I start seeing them in a different light. It's almost impossible for me to be physically attracted to someone I don't know.

Sex may or may not be satisfying though. It really depends on other factors. Unfortunately, physical attraction doesn't always translate into sexual chemistry. And if there's no sexual chemistry then they start looking less physically attractive to me.
 KillingForCupcakes
Joined: 1/27/2010
Msg: 114
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/28/2010 10:28:15 PM
You aren't answering my question though Apollodorus. Therapists say a lot of things...just because someone says something doesn't make it the gospel truth....

You do not have to be physically attracted to LOVE someone.

There are a lot of things that contribute to being ATTRACTED to someone so sense of smell or how they taste or feel to the touch can be part of their appeal but to be PHYSICALLY attracted requires you to be able assess that their outer trappings appeal to you. What many of you are saying is that PHYSICAL attraction....the OUTSIDE of a person...what they LOOK like is required to fall in love. If you cannot SEE their physical appearance are you saying you cannot fall in love?
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 116
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/28/2010 11:39:18 PM
So, to those of you that do not believe you can love someone without physical attraction being present....

What do you do if you suddenly lose your sight? Then what? You'd never love again?
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 117
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 3/1/2010 7:21:00 AM
If you turn it around, people have no problem being physically attracted to someone they don't love. I think that's why so many marriages don't last or couples can't stay together leaving a luv child or two in their wake.
To me, handsome is as handsome does and his words and deeds (genuine) are what reel me in. Don't get me wrong. I like a man to have good grooming and a nice sense of style, but that has nothing to do with his body or features.
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