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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?      Home login  
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 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 251
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?Page 11 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Apollodorus is in a wheelchair and on disability. The government pays for him to talk on the phone all day.

Seems like unnecessary roughness. While there isn't always time for hours long conversations, there is always time for a conversation. Yes most of us have work, kids, grandkids, pets and other things we want/need to do but when you are dating someone if you want it to become more you have to make time for that too.

Apollodorus you have to admit that if you don't have children and you don't work that maybe you do have more free time than most people. Sometimes I really don't want to talk, like now, I really just want to veg out in front of the tv until I have to go to work tonight. If the phone rings I will answer and talk, but honestly I don't want to. Never mind I am going to take a nap before I have to go to work. 10 hours is a long night, without sleep.

Apollodorus you state on your profile that you are in a wheelchair.



 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 252
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 11:58:01 AM
I could be wrong, but if I am, you are a liar, since this what you have stated in another thread.
 ComplekCity
Joined: 1/17/2011
Msg: 253
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:09:11 PM

Lets assume you have a 9 to 5 job, whats wrong with having 5pm to 8pm free for your date?


Apollo, first let me say I have tried dating a single mom - more than once , so I think I have the experience to give you a valid opinion and say you're being a tad unreasonable.
I agree that if a woman can't/won't juggle her schedule in order to make time for a relationship she shouldn't bother until she can OR find someone who doesn't mind.

When you say 5 -8pm, are you talking every day ? Or once/week ?
If she has children you shouldn't expect this more than once/week.
Besides, are you going to be waiting at her job at 5pm or do you expect someone to invent a Star Trek style transporter unit so she can beam over to you right at 5 ?

Also, you have to expect a woman will need to see her kids after working all day, I don't care how wonderful you may be , which means she will want to make/eat dinner with them.

That being said, weeknights are going to be after dinner if at all. If you last long enough to meet the kids you could then eat dinner with them, like "graduating" to a bigger time slot.

Weekends are going to be what you hope for but that depends on whether or not she shares custody with her ex.

For example, if her ex gets the kids every other weekend then that other weekend is all for you ( you would hope). But even then she's going to need time to catch up on the house work.

Bottom line, it's not easy dating a single mom.

Some can handle it , some can't.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 254
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:13:58 PM

I don't think anyone needs any reason to not answer a phone. If I don't feel like talking then why is it manditory to drop everything, answer the phone just to say I don't feel like talking. Leave a voice mail message asking for a return call when they are available.

Ring Ring: Hello?
Caller: What's going on?
SO: Uh don't feel like talking right now, I'll call you later.
Caller: Why? What's Wrong?
SO: Nothing, just don't feel like talking.
Caller: Did something happen? Are you ok?
SO: I'm fine I just don't Fvcking feel like talking on the Fvcking phone!
Caller: Is it me? Did I do something?
SO: Uuuhhhggghhhh (disconnect)

If they don't want to answer the phone they won't, don't mandate it as common courtesy.... get over it!


Exactly!
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 255
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:14:51 PM
I really don't understand the debate here. The whole talking on the phone thing would seem like something that gets sorted out before getting into a relationship. I dated women who were interested in me enough to want to talk to me on the phone. If I called and a woman couldn't answer the phone, fine. If she didn't return calls or simply didn't answer the phone often enough, I figured he wasn't all that interested. Anyone can find some time within the day to at least acknowledge a phone call, even if it's to say, ``I haven't had time to talk, I'll call you when I can.'' My fiancee and I talk everyday, before work, usually at lunch and then again after work, often more than once. We've done that since we started dating. Hell, my best friend even talks to me every day on the phone. Given that most people have cell phones these days, I would think that a quick return call or even a text message acknowledging the call would not be especially difficult. People that have different ideas about keeping in touch are probably not good matches, so if phone time is an issue at the very start, it's probably best to never start dating.
 Friendly widow
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 256
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:20:40 PM
Hardly a dealbreaker! Most people have some kind of voice mail, so I figure if someone calls and it is important that they will leave a message.I will return the call at my earliest convenience, depending on its import. Lots of times I have called just to chat and my son will indicate he is not up for that.Better I know than wonder if I have done something wrong! Also there are lots of people who dislike chatting on the phone-why should this be an issue?Offer alternatives and see how they respond.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 257
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:21:04 PM
I could be wrong, but if I am, you are a liar, since this what you have stated in another thread.


I would never state any other information other then the fact that I am in a wheelchair because that is too personal for over the internet so anyone who says I do not have a job or I am on disability is just assuming.


When you say 5 -8pm, are you talking every day ? Or once/week ?


Every day, if you truly can't spend at least 3 hours of everyday with your date then you do not have time to date.

For the record I have dated a single mom and will never do that again because they do not have the time.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 258
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:22:34 PM
Hey, ya answer the phone ya talk...ya don't answer the phone they leave a message...ya don't answer the phone they hang up pizzed...then I say it's time for "next"...
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 259
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:23:49 PM

post64^^^^well my opinion is any single mother that has kids should not be dating until there kids are able to do things on there own however if one chooses to date you have to do what it takes regardless as to whether you have kids or not.

What I have stated in this thread is the bare minimum it takes to have proper dates.
but thats just it, its your opinion, I used to be in the same camp as you regarding single parents with young children shouldn't date, but Ive come to realize there are a number of single parents that can balance mother/fatherhood and dating, emphasis on their children comes first and that I get.

Where im having a problem with your " opinion" is how is that you can state how a mother or father should do this and should do that in order to satisfy their potential partner? Working 9-5 is hard enough for some people then to come home, feed the kids, homework blah blah blah, and you think they should hire someone from 5-8 so they can chat on the phone or go out? I dont understand the logic behind it or your thinking?
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 260
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:29:39 PM
The logic behind is that if these people want to date they should be taking time out of each day for there date regardless of any else going in there life, it takes dedication to date and you don't just do it because you are bored one day and need something to do.
 Friendly widow
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 261
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:32:50 PM
Nor can I, but I cannot find much logic in most of his posts!
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 262
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:37:30 PM

The logic behind is that if these people want to date they should be taking time out of each day for there date regardless of any else going in there life, it takes dedication to date and you don't just do it because you are bored one day and need something to do.
WTF? that's like asking a guy why did you scratch your nuts when it wasn't itchy? that makes no sense, so according to you if im dating I should drop something im doing that is important just to take time for my date? so what should I give up Sleep, eating dinner, wiping my ass because it could cut into my date time? puleesssssssssssssssse... want to try that again?

Look .....ever hear of thing called " quality" time? or did you think that was the name of a Hip hop group from L.A ....FFS. look....... That doesn't mean I have drop important things that has to be done just to date, that is ridiculous , you really go to extremes there guy, no wonder you're not dating.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 263
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:44:40 PM

The logic behind is that if these people want to date they should be taking time out of each day for there date regardless of any else going in there life, it takes dedication to date and you don't just do it because you are bored one day and need something to do.


It's posts like this that make dating seem so difficult.
It doesn't take dedication to date. If you meet someone you're compatible with
you simply work out your schedules and time so they work for both of you. You
don't necessarily have to spend so many hours togother, talk at a certain time on
the phone or have sex a certain number of times per week to DATE.

Relationships do require a little more scheduling and compromising...but DATING ?
You make it sound like a part time job. How's that working for you? Oh yeah, not so
great I see.

And PS OT, I have call waiting, caller ID and voice mail. I usually answer my phone
if I'm able to (and if I want to). If it's someone I really care about, I'd probably answer
just to say I can't talk right now and I'll call you later. I'd never tell someone I didn't
feel like picking up the phone and talking to you, but yeah I'd not pick up the phone if
I didn't feel like talking to you.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 264
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 1:09:19 PM

The logic behind is that if these people want to date they should be taking time out of each day for there date regardless of any else going in there life, it takes dedication to date and you don't just do it because you are bored one day and need something to do.


The real logic is that you should not be dating at all...you've no idea what obligations others have in their lives nor concideration for others, and are completely self-absorbed.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 265
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 7:18:14 PM

Every day, if you truly can't spend at least 3 hours of everyday with your date then you do not have time to date.


As I more often than not don't even have three free hours each day to spend with my kids, that ain't happening! The fact that kids may be old enough to do things by/for themselves, doesn't mean that you shouldn't be there for them. Regardless of children, anyone who would expect me to dedicate three hours out of my day solely to them is not someone I'd choose to date. Dating need NOT be all THAT serious. Frankly, you sound like a woman! and a young one at that!


Those things do not have to be done every day and in fact that can all be done on a Sunday afternoon or morning.


Things need to be done when they need to be done, period. It is obvious that you have never spent a Sunday morning at my house.

You are entitled to want what you want out of a relationship, but please don't try to dictate the "rules of dating" to all. Simply, not having enough free time for YOU to make YOU happy is not the equivalent of not having enough time to date.
 Friendly widow
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 266
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 9:53:48 PM
This thread has gone so far off topic that it needs to end! IMHO!
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 267
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/18/2011 12:06:45 AM

the phone rings I see it's my SO and say to myself "**** her


If that is what you're thinking when your SO calls then, obviously there is a bigger problem here. If that is how you feel when she calls, then you could adress it with her before it blosoms into something else.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 268
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/18/2011 5:37:44 AM
You make it sound like a part time job


Dating is essentially a part time job


 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 269
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/18/2011 6:05:45 AM

Dating is essentially a part time job


Perhaps it's time to find another job that better suits you.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 270
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/18/2011 6:15:30 AM
^^^^dating suits me just fine
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 271
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/18/2011 3:43:12 PM
I always leave a message when I call someone or anybody who don't answer the phone,for I understand that they are avoiding these telemarketing people ,bill collectors or obscence phone calls. Or they are not home or they misplace their cell that is suppose to be close to their body,where ever the go..
If I leave a message and they never return my call I got the message and no comment I just move on to the" Next...
 Tatsinda
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 272
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/18/2011 5:59:28 PM
This behavior is too rude for me to tolerate.
I find this very passive aggressive, and cowardly.
Does she also behave this way to her boos, Mother, clients, and children? Or is it just you?
I did date a guy that did this very thing. I hated it! I found it rude. But it was just his way of telling me that HE"LL decide when we speak to each other, not me.
I stongly recommend doing the same to her, for a good week. Then listen to her complain about how mean you were. If she does not complain, or worse, not call, you have your answer. She was never that into you in the first place.
 YpsiJoe
Joined: 7/19/2010
Msg: 273
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/19/2011 7:20:19 AM
I don't really think it is a big deal at all. People have lives outside of us so if they don't answer for what in your mind is no apparent reason remember they feel like it is a reason. Sometimes they are tired sometimes they are in a bad mood sometimes they may be playing hard to get. There are many underlying things that could cause this. Let it go and get over yourself.
 musical_turtle
Joined: 3/11/2011
Msg: 274
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 6/12/2011 3:19:43 PM
I think if someone doesn't answer their phone, that means they're not interested.Two calls is the maximum amount a person should make, in my humble opinion.
If they don't answer back, then it's probably because he/she doesn't want to hurt the other person's feelings by being direct & saying
"I'm not interested in you, I don't like you" .
 pretty_songs
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 275
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 6/12/2011 3:39:27 PM
No, it shouldn't be a deal breaker if they don't answer the phone. I personally hate talking on the phone. If I am going to do any communication over any electronic device I'd rather text (unless it's something important). Otherwise I'd rather have all conversations in person. I've always been like that. I have friends who call me all the time "just to talk" and it drives me bonkers. So, yeah, a lot of the time I don't answer. I mean, it'd be different is she never answers ... but again, she might just not like talking on the phone.

I also don't see why you would have to answer the phone to tell someone you don't to talk. If it's important enough, leave a voice mail and I'll get back to you.
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