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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?      Home login  
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 HuluAddicted
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 101
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?Page 5 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Sabrosura....nearly everything turns into gender bashing. If not gender bashing then country bashing. Or religion bashing.

Personally, after a 16 hour day, I get home and just want to have quiet time. I don't keep my phone close to me. If it rings, I don't want to go find it to answer it. Whoever it is can leave a message and call back. If they don't leave a message, I won't call them back.

Those who say that it's unfair for the one to ignore the call to only talk on his/her time frame....why is it fair for him/her to talk on your time frame?

There are days where bad stuff happens. And when you get home, you don't want to deal with anyone for a bit.
 REDDRAGON.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 102
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/25/2010 10:39:14 AM
How the heck did this turn into a GENDER battle?! People need to get a grip. It is no wonder so many are single - jaded jaded jaded...........



IT'S MY PHONE!!!! and I'll love it and hold it and cradle and hug it at night as much as I want......








....and call it George



ROFL!!!!!!!!
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 103
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/25/2010 10:42:28 AM

IT'S MY PHONE!!!! and I'll love it and hold it and cradle and hug it at night as much as I want......

....and call it George
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 104
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/25/2010 10:44:42 AM
Sabrosura....nearly everything turns into gender bashing. If not gender bashing then country bashing. Or religion bashing.

Personally, after a 16 hour day, I get home and just want to have quiet time. I don't keep my phone close to me. If it rings, I don't want to go find it to answer it. Whoever it is can leave a message and call back. If they don't leave a message, I won't call them back.

Those who say that it's unfair for the one to ignore the call to only talk on his/her time frame....why is it fair for him/her to talk on your time frame?

There are days where bad stuff happens. And when you get home, you don't want to deal with anyone for a bit.



I'm with you, HuluAddicted. It is not a personal thing against our male counterparts. When I've had a rough day, not feeling well, etc.....there are times I don't want to answer the phone. Particularly as soon as I get home. I have a routine I need to follow i.e. walk dogs, feed 'em, etc....and do my thing. Later I can entertain as many calls as I can.



Dragon:
IT'S MY PHONE!!!! and I'll love it and hold it and cradle and hug it at night as much as I want......


You crack me the f*wk up! lmao!!!
 myblueshadow
Joined: 11/11/2009
Msg: 105
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/25/2010 10:45:32 AM

yes but if the reason my SO didn't pick up the phone is just because my SO didn't feel like picking up the phone I would hightail it out of the relationship because I am not going to be talking to my SO just on hers/his terms.


So if you’ve had a bad day and just want to kick back with a beer and watch the game for an hour and your SO wants to talk, you do exactly what she wants at the exact moment she wants it?
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 106
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/25/2010 10:51:32 AM

So if you’ve had a bad day and just want to kick back with a beer and watch the game for an hour and your SO wants to talk


Then I would say exactly that, I wouldn't say " I didn't pick up the phone just because I didn't feel like it"



you do exactly what she wants at the exact moment she wants it?


I would actually and I do this for my friends, if I am needed I am there. My friends and So's are priority over everyone else and the rest of the world can wait.



Ok for the sake of discussion how many times a day were you calling. Were they long indepth conversations or were the ones during the day short and sweet to the point.
I think for me that is the crux.


I only call every other day and maybe talk for an hour or 2
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 107
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/25/2010 11:03:40 AM

I only call every other day and maybe talk for an hour or 2

!!!!!

If it was a long distance relationship I *might* be able to tolerate that but I'd have to retrain a local guy to understand that if we can both spare that much time, we should just get together. Though, I agree with the post above that some of us are discussing this in terms of the type of person who makes multiple calls throughout the day.

As for picking up the phone and saying you don't feel like talking, I think msg 18 did a good job of presenting the repercussions of doing that. It's a no-win situation for the person who just doesn't want to talk at the moment.
 myblueshadow
Joined: 11/11/2009
Msg: 108
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/25/2010 11:30:47 AM
Apollo, I think that's an unrealistic view of relationships. One person can never fully meet the needs of another exactly when they need it. Sometimes you have to take care of yourself, and sometimes you have to respect the other person's limitations. By not answering the phone, she is saying that she needs to take care of herself at that moment. If she NEVER calls back or NEVER cares about his needs, then it's a problem. But that's not what I saw in the OP.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 109
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/25/2010 11:35:39 AM

One person can never fully meet the needs of another exactly when they need it


I completely disagree with that. if you can't then you aren't a match.
 migivadamsbusted
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 110
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/25/2010 11:37:55 AM
apollo you're killing me...
 KillingForCupcakes
Joined: 1/27/2010
Msg: 111
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/25/2010 11:46:36 AM
I posted this in the other PHONE thread about the myth of calling after the 3rd day or whatever it's called and I think it applies here too:


If you cannot handle being with someone that doesn't drop everything just because it's wonderful glorious YOU on the other end of the line...then date someone who shares your phone etiquette views...and let us phone hermits date those who won't make us feel like some jerk just because we would rather not answer the phone sometimes.

I think the quality of my phone convo is much more important than the quantity of calls I take from my S/O. If I am in a bad mood the odds are I might be snappy and grumpy when I would rather not be like that with someone I care about....so if I'm acting like I'm on the rag...why should i subject someone to that attitude? Yeah yeah...I could "put on a happy face" just for their call but sometimes I just need some time to myself...if my S/O can't understand that...then he's not the guy for me.[/ quote]
 myblueshadow
Joined: 11/11/2009
Msg: 112
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/25/2010 12:06:07 PM

I completely disagree with that. if you can't then you aren't a match.


Then why would any person need friends? I can tell you that the happiest couples are the ones that realize they can't be everything to the other person and respect their need for friends and outside interests.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 113
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/25/2010 1:42:18 PM
Seven pages of bickering on this issue between posters and the OP's scintillating repost:


This is SUCH A DOUBLE STANDARD. A women expected her man to be Johnny on the spot with the phone calls, yet is she does not answer it's fine.

I don't know if anyone else asked a question but I am curious how long you have been in a relationship with this woman?


You don't just not feel like not talking at the time to a friend or SO ladyc4, that's just plain BS

I rarely do not answer the phone but occasionally even if it is my best friend calling I actually do not wish to speak to anyone. It may be BS most of the time but there are times when even very verbose individuals do not feel like talking to someone.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 114
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/25/2010 1:49:13 PM
I'm talking about seeing it ring, seeing it's you calling and deciding not to answer it for no good reason except they did not feel like talking at that time. To me common courtesy would be if you just do not want to talk at that time to answer the call and say, "can I call you back later I'm doing xyz".


honestly i couldn't take this personally, I've done this before, sometimes you just don't feel like talking whether it's your mother or significant other. You talk to me when you feel like it.
 vonny1976
Joined: 2/22/2010
Msg: 115
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/25/2010 3:18:38 PM
i agree.you obviously don't mean enough to her to bother talking to.and only wants to when it suits her.Time to get someone that wants to talk to you when u call.:) goodluck
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 116
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/25/2010 5:06:05 PM
^^^^^ bingo we have winner, someone who tells you that " I just didn't feel like answering the phone" only cares about his/her self and everything has to revolve around there schedule
 _GeekyGirl_
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 117
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/25/2010 7:19:28 PM

and let us phone hermits date those who won't make us feel like some jerk just because we would rather not answer the phone sometimes.



Phones may be the most intrusive device ever invented. I appreciate their value and all, but damn, I dislike them.


Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels like this.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 118
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/26/2010 12:15:54 AM
You gave her your number ? wtf, I like my quiet. If you are gonna blow up my phone it better be with fun fotos of partially clad ilk,

Can I call you? As long as I don't have to answer. that usually ends the conversation.

It is why they created caller id, and unlisted numbers. really.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 119
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/26/2010 6:55:46 AM

Now this is funny!
I thought the guy throwing the fit that she didn't want to talk to him when HE called HER was the one wanting her to revolve around his schedule.

Did I miss something?

No you didn't. For people who think it's rude not to want to talk on the phone regardless of who's calling - it's also rude to think people should answer the phone everytime it rings (especially if you're the one calling, I'm sure). Blah.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 120
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/26/2010 7:28:41 AM

Phones may be the most intrusive device ever invented. I appreciate their value and all, but damn, I dislike them.




Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels like this.

No you aren't.

I stand buy my original post.

I answer my phone at my convenience if someone is to insecure or nonacceptance of my hatred of the phone..they need to move on.


i agree.you obviously don't mean enough to her to bother talking to.and only wants to when it suits her.


Well why not?

I do not think the op and this woman are so that serious that they are in the heart flip flops mode..maybe FWB..Dating or just casual.
He says GF but That's strange to me.



He is on a dating site and his profile does say long term.
 9035768
Joined: 9/20/2007
Msg: 121
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/26/2010 7:37:37 AM

There is no requirement that one needs to answer the phone every single time it rings, is there? Maybe I missed that info in the instruction manual to my funfone!!?

An instruction manual!!
I have a solution!
Dating contracts. The people that believe being a significant other gives to rights to that person's life and body need to devise a contact.

Proposed form T430:

"Sex will be given upon bedtime so long as an excuse listed in Section 141.73 is not notorized and presented in a timely manner.

Phone calls shall be answered by the fifth ring at all times. Failure to do so will indicate sexual infidelity. (See section 127.12 for infidelity penalties)
a. if the excuse given for missing the call is sleep, you will call me every 15 minutes between the hours of 6AM and 9PM, until trust has been restored and your sleep cycle has been adjusted.

Texts will be answer within 11 minutes of Verizon telling me you've received them.

Oral sex is required to give, but not receive. {#2 type of person, right? I forget and don't remember the title of that thread}

More than six consecutive words may not be uttered to a person of the opposite sex unless approval has been given in advance, or you supervisor has threaten termination in writing.

Dancing with a person of any gender is forbidden.

Gaining more that 5% of our first date weight will be met with penalties from the 'unacceptable changes' section 67.3.

Failure to comply to these rules will put you on probation and your photo will be placed in the 'Cheating Wh0re' Thread in the broken hearts section on POF."

People can have "T430" tattooed on their forehead to indicate this level of committment to their SOs.

And those of us that respect our partners as individual humans, can leave a message and continue with our lives. Because we respect and trust our partners to know that they are not ignoring us because we are of less worth. They are simply not the center of the universe, so not given the perks of being able to drop everything at all times to bow to our whim(as we are also NOT the center of the universe).
 KillingForCupcakes
Joined: 1/27/2010
Msg: 122
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/26/2010 8:27:28 AM
9035768 said:

An instruction manual!!
I have a solution!
Dating contracts. The people that believe being a significant other gives to rights to that person's life and body need to devise a contact.

Proposed form T430:

"Sex will be given upon bedtime so long as an excuse listed in Section 141.73 is not notorized and presented in a timely manner.

Phone calls shall be answered by the fifth ring at all times. Failure to do so will indicate sexual infidelity. (See section 127.12 for infidelity penalties)
a. if the excuse given for missing the call is sleep, you will call me every 15 minutes between the hours of 6AM and 9PM, until trust has been restored and your sleep cycle has been adjusted.

Texts will be answer within 11 minutes of Verizon telling me you've received them.

Oral sex is required to give, but not receive. {#2 type of person, right? I forget and don't remember the title of that thread}

More than six consecutive words may not be uttered to a person of the opposite sex unless approval has been given in advance, or you supervisor has threaten termination in writing.

Dancing with a person of any gender is forbidden.

Gaining more that 5% of our first date weight will be met with penalties from the 'unacceptable changes' section 67.3.

Failure to comply to these rules will put you on probation and your photo will be placed in the 'Cheating Wh0re' Thread in the broken hearts section on POF."

People can have "T430" tattooed on their forehead to indicate this level of commitment to their SOs.

And those of us that respect our partners as individual humans, can leave a message and continue with our lives. Because we respect and trust our partners to know that they are not ignoring us because we are of less worth. They are simply not the center of the universe, so not given the perks of being able to drop everything at all times to bow to our whim(as we are also NOT the center of the universe).



BEST SOLUTION EVER!!!!

I am still laughing....seriously though...this would save me so much time if they WOULD tattoo this on their foreheads!!!
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 123
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/26/2010 8:51:54 AM

I thought the guy throwing the fit that she didn't want to talk to him when HE called HER was the one wanting her to revolve around his schedule.


nope that's not it at all, he is upset because she gave the reason " I just didn't feel like picking up the phone" and side stepped the real reason and said a dishonest and rude reason in it's place.

she basically told him to f off.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 124
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/26/2010 8:55:56 AM

he is upset because she gave the reason " I just didn't feel like picking up the phone" and side stepped the real reason

Enough people have made it clear that that IS the real reason. So if I was accused of lying when I told the truth, I guess I'd just have to lie in the future and say I was in the shower.
 9035768
Joined: 9/20/2007
Msg: 125
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/26/2010 8:58:54 AM

he is upset because she gave the reason " I just didn't feel like picking up the phone" and side stepped the real reason and said a dishonest and rude reason in it's place.

Not wanting to pick up the phone IS the reason. Rude is demanding your calls are answered any time YOU feel the reason is not good enough.

Yes, it could be a half truth:

I didn't feel like picking up the phone... because I'm with another man right now.

I didn't feel like picking up the phone... because I've been b1tched at for 6 hours at work and I know you do nothing but complain about everything I do, so even pickig up the phone and telling you, "I have a headache right now," is not good enough and the argument would be why I have a headache and if you find my reasons worthy of a headache.
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