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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?      Home login  
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 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 26
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Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I'm into ASSIMILATING, deciding what I want to input into my soul, and making that a priority/simplifying.

As far as collecting STUFF, aside from blu-ray movies, I'm done. I've got all the toys I want (HDTV, cameras, computers, car). Place could use some tile flooring and a new paint job though...!
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 27
Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?
Posted: 2/26/2010 9:23:11 PM

I accumulate money and investments creating the pleasant situation of being able to buy what I want, when I want, and for whom I want, and give away what I do not want or need...


Why don't cha come up to my room sometime?



The thing I'm happiest to have gotten rid of was debt. The only loan I have is my mortgage, and I'm about 7 years from clearing that. As a result, I am accumulating money in my savings accounts.


...Feels great doesn't it? I'm about 18 months away from being debt free. Now...all I need to do is learn how to de-clutter.

...mae
 Much More
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 28
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Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?
Posted: 2/27/2010 5:29:08 AM
I find it difficult to get rid of things !

Seriously, it is harder for some of us to give up our "stuff". I have learned not to buy as much. This is good. Yes, I still have the things I collect Danish Modern teak furniture, Christmas ornaments (Baldwin brass and Swarovski snowflakes), shoes (I think it is in the girl genes....LOL), books and a few other things.

It is more "Zen" to declutter and release those emotional attachments to things...but that does not make it easy. I go to the library for most of my reading books now. I also donated boxes and boxes to them.

Please tell me that you don't just pitch those things in the trash. Just because you no long need or want it, there are many others that could benefit. Donate what is still decent/usable to those that need it.

Thanks!
 el lagarto
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 29
Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?
Posted: 2/27/2010 7:58:26 AM
There's so many folks here saying they're getting rid of things , I though I should share a great idea that someone came up with awhile back , to prevent useful stuff from ending up in the landfill .
Go to freecycle.org , and join your local group . It's a vast network of people who exchange items all for free. You can request something you're looking for , or give away absolutely ANYthing - from a half a bag of sugar - to a piece of plywood - to clothes - furniture - whatever. There's SOMEone out there that will want it !

I've given away numerous items , and without exception , the recipients were always nice folks , and so grateful ! Works well.
 kbodley
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 30
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Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?
Posted: 2/27/2010 8:41:31 AM
I have a rule that I live by, and use whenever I get the urge to clean out a closet, cupboard or the proverbial "junk" room.

When I pick up an item I ask myself three questions:
1. Do I use this item on a regular basis? Yes, keep it. No go to question #2.
2. Does it make my heart happy? No - get rid of it. Yes, go to question #3
3. Realizing that it makes my heart happy, does it cause me any inconvenience to keep it? No - keep it and enjoy it. Yes - then I must decide if the pleasure that I get from hanging on to the item is sufficient to warrant the inconvenience.

For years I have lived with the adage that one can never have too many cookbooks or teapots! However, my last move made me realize that perhaps I had accumulated too many of both to really enjoy them. Consequently, I went through my collection and trimmed them down to only those that I felt were really special, or that I use regularly. Now, when I am tempted at an antique store or estate sale to pick up either a new cookbook or teapot, I ask whether I'm willing to give up one that I already own in order to add the new one.

So - back to the original question. Accumulate vs. simplify? Somewhere in the middle. I enjoy the possessions that I have today. My house is comfortable and represents me and my personality. I am past the age where I need to prove anything to anyone.

Now, were I to find someone who I found more interesting than a cookbook or teapot???? Well, so far that hasn't happened! Who knows!!!
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 31
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Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?
Posted: 2/27/2010 9:34:52 AM
"Then really be able to take-off and travel without possession/ownership restraints"

That is exactly what I am looking forward to once I am pet free. Until then (2 or 3 years would be my guess) I will continue to enjoy every bit of happiness where I am.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 32
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Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?
Posted: 2/27/2010 5:36:23 PM
my mom spent 20 years of constantly trying to get rid of things. it scares me, as it is taking me a long time to sort through all these boxes of papers. you've heard that saying: mirror mirror on the wall, i am my mother afterall. well, at least she got her first hickey in her 70's!

when i moved here to CA from NYC, i brought ALL of my old professional library. it took up one entire room. i guess i needed it, while i sorted out my new identity. when i moved down to Santa Cruz, it all went bye bye. I also gave away a lot, plus robbers took a lot, while i was in transition (including bathroom and lighting fixtures, which was not good!).

when my mom died, we found money everywheres. she would hide it for an emergency and then probably forgot where she hid it. as for me, i'm still keeping my teddy bear, kitty cuddles and lassie, as well as one baby book. when i die, they get to be buried with me. i do have a snoopy dog, a bit frayed. was thinking of getting a price on him after reading what some of you have said-- or donating to the Shulz museum (my original thought) , which i am told is in San Francisco.

here in the USA, tax deductions for donations are often more feasible than selling at yard sales, plus someone gets to have it for free. i like to roam around yard sales for specific things, but i hate to have them. we also have some nice flea markets where you can sell, or buy, antiques and some valuable things.
 sj6487
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 33
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Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?
Posted: 2/28/2010 10:12:06 AM
currently in the simplifying stage. accumulated too much stuff over the years....and now it's time to de-clutter. Now before any new purchase is made....i always ask myself ...do I really need this....or do I want this?
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 34
Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?
Posted: 2/28/2010 10:28:42 AM
...I am so guilty of not wanting to throw things out or give things away. And that comes from being brought up poor. My mother was a woman who for practical reasons taught us to recycle, re-use, reduce.... even before the term was coined, we were brought up to "think green" .... and again, that comes from being poor.

So naturally I have this "thing" this "little inner voice" that whispers...."Don't throw that out you can use it later for something." (lol)... And I keep it, but don't use it. "But you might someday." says my inner voice. (lol)
Btw, I think that's the same damn voice that kept telling me " One little drag won't hurt" when I was trying to quit smoking years ago.

Right now, there are boxes packed away under the basement stairs that I haven't even opened since my move nearly 5 years ago....and I have no idea what's in them. I obviously haven't missed whatever's inside.

While watching Oprah one day (yes, I love her) one of her guests said something that made real sense. "If you haven't worn it or used it in over a year, chances are you're not going to." . I need to think about that. I need to take heed.

I will take baby steps, one room at a time.

...mae

 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 35
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Don't throw that out you can use it later for something.
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:22:29 PM
I just finished reading the post and I am really angry---- Doesn't anyone have problems with stuff (well maybe Mae). Am I the only one that hangs on to stuff to keep others away?
My story is about as unpleasant to the eyes as my house.
7..... no 8 years ago my brother took his life in my basement and I found him.
Most of me died on that dreadful Sunday.
Over the years I stopped caring about myself and pushed others away.
I stopped cleaning my house. And I started collecting stuff.
Didn't matter what it was where it came from or if I needed it.
Obviously I didn't/don't need any of it.
So here I sit (squeezed into a little corner of my extra bedroom because I can no longer find my room).
I will not go into all the details of what it looks like. Lets just say I have not invited anyone (including my own son and mother) into my home for a long time.
I still clean my bathrooms but the rest is a mess.
Every day I say to myself..... Self it's time to do something about this .......
But I take one look and say ... I'll do it tomorrow.
Tomorrow comes and I say , "just take one little corner at a time" maybe clean off the dinning room table.....
I know what you are thinking???? This lady is in need of some serious counseling maybe even medication!!!!!!!!
I am doing both!!!!!!
I wish I could reach out to all of you "simplifies" and take in your energy...it would feel so refreshing.
I know, I hear there is power in prayer. Maybe you can pray for me.
If you respond to this please be gentle. I am new here at POF and the Forums.
Thanks for reading and letting me vent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ailinn:
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 36
Don't throw that out you can use it later for something.
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:43:41 PM
I seriously downsized quite some time ago. It was liberating to a serious degree. I still love certain material things, but I no longer need to acquire much to fill voids, that once were filled with possessions. JMO
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 37
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Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?
Posted: 2/28/2010 10:29:01 PM
I guess you missed my story HUH??
 Hippiekinkster
Joined: 1/7/2010
Msg: 38
Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?
Posted: 2/28/2010 11:40:33 PM
@Aillinn: get used to it here. Actual responses to one's posts are rare. Your story just doesn't register to Sally Self-involved or Ned Narcissist. They don't even know how to indicate who they are responding to here, if anyone besides themselves.

I simply cannot imagine going through what you did. I've read almost identical stories from people on other personal sites, and my reaction is always: what an amazingly nasty, f*cked-up thing to do to you. I AM NOT A THERAPIST, but I don't think collecting junk to the point that your relationships with your son and mother suffer, is a healthy response. Evidently the help you are getting isn't working. Fire your current counselor and find one who will work. Let cleaning the table wait. Once you start healing, the table will almost clean itself.
 kbodley
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 39
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Don't throw that out you can use it later for something.
Posted: 3/1/2010 11:53:52 AM

I wish I could reach out to all of you "simplifies" and take in your energy...it would feel so refreshing.
I know, I hear there is power in prayer. Maybe you can pray for me.
If you respond to this please be gentle. I am new here at POF and the Forums.
Thanks for reading and letting me vent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Prayer headed your way! But, could I make what might be a more concrete suggestion? Your son and your mother love you! They probably understand the pain that you are still stuck in with regard to your brother. Call them up and invite them to meet you for coffee or a burger someplace outside of the house (because while confession may be good for the soul, they may need a little preparation to help you deal with this). Ask for their help and understanding. Work with them to set up some guidelines that will help you approach this clean up in a non-judgemental process. (If you don't think your family will be able to approach this in a non-judgemental manner, do you have a close friend that could be your support group.)

Perhaps agree that you will pick one room at a time and they will agree not to comment on your progress, or lack thereof.

Agree to throw out one trash container of garbage from that room every week.

Agree to fill one large tote with items that can be donated from that room every week.

Pick a reward that will make you feel better at the end of every room.

If that doesn't help, call your church, or your county mental health agency and see if they can refer you to someone who will help you regain control of your life and fight your way through the depression.

For those of us who have found ourselves stuck in depression, it can be hard to admit that we can't seem to get out of the hole we have buried ourselves in on our own. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Once you do you might just find that everyone was just waiting for you to reach out.

Anyway, hope this helps. Prayers are good. Taking the first step, even if it's a small one is better.
 kbodley
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 40
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Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?
Posted: 3/1/2010 12:08:13 PM

when you get to be our age...materialistic stuff should not be important
you realize family and friends are priceless, possessions are easy to get but love of family and friends are not. i would not date a person who was bobsessed with what they have to me itI ha is what you can offer to me that is what i am looking for
life is too short i used to be materialistic but i have realized that is not what life is about


Actually, I think when you get to be our age, you should be able to realize that what works for some may not work at all well for others. I have a brother who can load all of his possessions in the back seat of his Tahoe and that's just great for him! He is happy and healthy and content with his minimalist lifestyle!

As for me, I don't shop in the finest stores (in fact my house is pretty much furnished in early garage sale). I love the clearance rack and the after Christmas sales. I have never had enough discretionary income to accumulate a lot of valuable, materialistic, junk. I love my children, grandchildren, friends and family.

However, I know myself well enough to realize that coming home at the end of a long day to a comfortable home, pouring myself a glass of wine in a nice wine glass as opposed to a plastic cup, and having a good steak served on a nicely matched set of dinner ware goes a long way to allowing me to sit back and enjoy the evening.

I don't think I am particularly "materialistic" but rather I enjoy the fact that at this stage of my life I recognize that part of my contentment is enjoying the small amount of comfort that I have earned through hard work and determination!

So for those of you who have the urge to shed all for the sake of simplification! More power to you! But for those of us who have worked hard to earn our accumulated junk - hooray for us! I worked for it! I earned it! I spent many years making do with less because I simply couldn't afford anything else! At my age I intend to enjoy the small comforts that I have the income to support!
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 41
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get used to it here. Actual responses to one's posts are rare. Your story just doesn't register to S
Posted: 3/1/2010 11:34:32 PM
I am kinda getting use to it. And you are so right!
Some of these FORUMS go on and on and on ----- almost full circle.
Some of the posters are really nasty tooo!!!
And then again some are very nice.
For example, I received a very nice personal message (sent to my inbox) from someone.
And your response was helpful as well!!! Thank-you
So I took a risk and told the truth about a part of my "real life".

Why bother in the FORUMS if everything about "you" is next to perfect.
Notice I didn't say "PERFECT"
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 42
Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?
Posted: 3/2/2010 8:34:50 AM
Life should be comfortable and your style is your comfort.
Some people don't have any style.
Most older people accumulate old and useless things...because they are afraid about future.
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 43
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Accumulation versus simplifying HOW ABOUT LETTING GO!!
Posted: 3/2/2010 7:42:46 PM
Today I filled 2 garbage bags with clothes,belts,purses, and shoes. In the morning I am taking them to a local Women's Treatment Center.
I've made the phone call-they are expecting me, so I won't be changing my mind.

I also talked with my niece and we are going to start planning a "Barn Sale".
She has a Barn and I know my stuff will fit in there.

Happy Birthday Little Brother today you are 50,,,, doesn't seem like 8 years since you left our physical world.
The other night, when I was reading some of the responses to my my post I began to cry.
And you know what??? I finally got angry with my Brother.
ATB,
Ailinn
 DeliveryRN
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 44
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Accumulation versus simplifying HOW ABOUT LETTING GO!!
Posted: 3/2/2010 10:34:34 PM
Ailinn, I was so happy to see your last post. I am hoping that you will be able to feel empowered, as you see the joy, your unneeded possessions brings to others. I have always been a big believer in by doing for others we release our own troubles and anxieties.
Our life experiences change us. I found that after my divorce the less possessions I had the freer I felt. I guess the relief of being free from my needy husband felt so good that I just keep moving in that direction. My current practice is zero tolerance for anything material that takes away from the simple pleasures of life. I only desire what I need and things that give me great pleasure. So I have money for to buy quality items and the time to enjoy them. The less I have to clean and maintain the happier I am.
Peace be with you Ailinn.
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 45
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Accumulation versus simplifying -Perhaps agree that you will pick one room which phase are you in ?
Posted: 3/5/2010 6:04:51 PM
Although I have a slight case of VERTIGO right now I am going to work in the Kitchen.
I've decided to throw away the dishes that I rarely use.
I will also throw out stuff that I do not need--but hung on to for sentimental reasons.


I might have a little ceremony. Get out the candles and of course the smudge.

Music ??.......um..............
what do you think?? Mozart?, Madonna? Moody Blues??
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 46
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Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?
Posted: 3/8/2010 11:58:48 AM
I am making a concerted effort to get rid of stuff that has filled my houses over the decades. I find its a great mental and physical effort to do so, however. Deciding what to do with perfectly good stuff is exhausting, and physically carting it somewhere is also a labour.

Tools? Never!!!! Books? I keep them as well, but have lately run out of place to put them. Other stuff, like kids sports stuff and clothes all go to the GoodWill.

The real problems are left over ceramic tiles, pieces of wood that eventually come in handy, old dishes and cutlery that are still in fine condition, and furniture that various women in my life have banished to the cellar, and stuff that I love but will never use again!
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 47
Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?
Posted: 3/8/2010 12:20:33 PM
For years...I clean my house every Spring and Fall...and I don't keep old and useless things.
Why you keep that old stuff you don't use?
Perhaps you like bacterias and germs around you...

By the way...poor people don't need your old stuff...they want and need money.
 debranator
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 48
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Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?
Posted: 3/9/2010 6:49:38 PM
I noticed that most of the posters to this thread..are on the spartan versus hoarding vein.
I must confess..to being a lifetime accumulator....and now that I can afford it..a large accumulator of high end heels..because I like them ...that simple.
But..what concerned me in the original post....
is the point..at our age..that so many feel that they have one foot in..and one on a banana peel...[and yes..i am 3 years older than my profile says]....
I do not get that kind of thinking....
we are still young..we are..
i just up sized to a larger, more upscale home...with more room for my possessions..and shoes.
In fact,I am sick of dating men..that feel their number may soon be called..so they have to....rush into a relationship,marriage..ect....
before it does.
I feel 50 is a new beginning ,not the end.[hopefully..a lightening bolt..will not strike me tonight.]
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 49
Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?
Posted: 4/27/2010 10:59:11 AM
Please reach out to the television show, "Hoarders", Ailinn....they have professional people with the commitment to help individuals such as yourself, if you truly want the help.

Peace and Blessings
 SunnyBlueSkies23
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 50
Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?
Posted: 10/17/2011 5:36:36 PM
For me, I'd say I'm kind of in both acccumulating & simplifying now. (Do I have an oxy-moron thing going here??! ) Let me try to explain........I'm a collector. I collect beautiful butterfly knick-knacks,roosters, beach stuff,glass animals, enchanting ceramic masks....you name it! (including DUST BUNNIES.......I've started naming them....just kidding! ) I've got A LOT of things that will never leave me that were given to me by my Mom,my Grandparents,my friends,my parents....that have a lot of special meaning & happy memories for me. That's my accumulation. Then, I have things that I give away.......other knick-knacks,lap trays, writing paper,vases,silk flowers,vacuumes,decorations.......that are still in good shape; I just don't NEED them anymore. I usually set at least 1 bag or box outside near our dumpsters of things I don't want at least 2 to 3 times a year....anybody else here in my apartment complex can then pick through & choose what they want. It makes other people happy, and gets rid of things that I don't need....the best of both worlds! That's how i simplify.Makes perfect sence to me!
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