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 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 48
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New study on fertility...30 years oldPage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
People who think and seriously contemplate having children usually take several factors into consideration. Financial security, emotional/psychological maturity, finding a good co-parent, health, etc. It's not just age or reproductive ability that makes the decision for some.

Not everyone goes out to make as many babies or the "best quality" babies they can just because they are at "optimal" reproductive age. Honestly from what I have seen in society, the ones that go into baby popping mode in their earlier years just because they can often don't look at the long term big picture.

In the mammalian kingdom or the "lower" intelligence species reproduction is often done by the young. But in most mammals the gestation/rearing phase is much shorter than that of a human. Their needs are more basic, and therefore easier to fill. Most mammals young are often self-sustainable in a year or less-not much time to spend w/ an ADD mate. A human can take well over a decade to be mature enough to make sure all its basic needs are attainable-a long time to have to have a connection with a bad match. Attaining the stable neccessities for reproduction/rearing of the young can take longer than the "optimal" reproduction age allows. But as humans we have medical care and science to assist with extending that period of time.

But don't worry OP, there are plenty of females of "optimal" reproductive age having as many babies as possible, though not for the sake of the children. For some humans reproduction isn't just about the best time to have a baby, but having the best way/oppurtunity/options for raising said baby.
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 59
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New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/13/2010 6:04:14 PM
From the OT:

<div class="quote">Do women 25-35 think about these things?

Many posters here have answered how they think about reproduction in these age ranges. They have given you answers to how they think about it and the related thoughts they have to having a kid. The answers have been pretty similar.

1. They want kids, but don't want to be a single parent. If they haven't found a good co-parent, they opt to wait until they have or make the most of their life if they don't have kids by the time the mythical "biological" clock stops in their 30's.

2. They want to be able to provide for said children. That means being financially capable of supporting not just themselves but the lives they create.


<div class="quote">There are many healthy and good men out there at a young age.

Ok so there are all of these "great" breeding stock guys out there, but how many of them are seeking to have children? How many of these guys under the ages of 25-35 are ready to or want to have kids when the woman's "optimal" for reproduction? How many of them will be around for the next couple of decades to help raise the kids they create? It takes two to tango on this one.


<div class="quote">I would think that financial reasons, for many, far outweighs any of those "immature men" when looking at reasons for not having kids--one needs resources in order to do anything or it will die.


<div class="quote">There's no such thing as financial security.

Backtracking on yourself OP when you don't like others responses? There is no guarunteed financial security. But there is being more financially secure and stable than some. Many 20-somethings are just entering the job-market out of college. To get their foot in the door and have a hope of financial security they can't afford maternity leave all the time when just starting out-frequent interuptions in a work history when young will hamper job options later on. Also many under 25 are in college(again hard to take time off from for baby birthing) or are working 1 or more part-time jobs with erratic schedules and incomes-again not prime for having a kid.

Of course if a person starts having babies while in high school they can bank on their parents financial security while cashing in on their fertility. Is that the option you were looking for OP?


<div class="quote">Honestly, it's very hard for me to believe that someone in their twenties would be that ignorant and have all these kids, all while not anticipating what is guaranteed to happen if that future indeed arrives.

All I have to say is take a look at teen moms and the welfare roles some time. In my job I do financial statements to determine payment options or available assistance programs available for a customer. You wouldn't believe how many 20-something women have said this winter "I need to have another baby, welfare aint payin enough". Many seem to have the attitude they can have kids, as many as they want, and someone else will pick up the bill, whether that is a new man, child support, or the welfare system. If they had looked at the long picture, they might have decided to wait on babies, and find a way to support themselves before having a kid. Not all young women are this way, but there is a fair number of them.


<div class="quote">We need resources, but we don't need a space station to have a child.

No one said anything about a space station, but about gathering the resources. To gather those resources you need to earn an income, earn enough of an income to provide shelter and food, and long term enough income to keep providing those resources for a baby to grow to an adult. On average about 18yrs of resources that have to be provided. This isn't being obtuse, it's just stating the obvious.


<div class="quote">You're missing the topic entirely. In no part of this thread are we talking about the best time to have a baby.

Umm this whole thread is about when is the best time to have a baby. When you are most fertile, or when you are most able to provide for the baby. And whether or not women think about fertility vs. ability to provide and how that relates to their age.

Again from the OT:

<div class="quote">Do women 25-35 think about these things? I see so many that are undecided or still want kids, but are around 80-90% past the ability to procreate.
 Blakkardaberry
Joined: 2/7/2009
Msg: 60
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New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/13/2010 6:20:43 PM
Before you start freaking out, it's important to remember that even 30,000 or so eggs remaining at the start of your 30s is still a lot. In addition, the quantity and quality of eggs are just two factors affecting fertility: Plenty of women get pregnant perfectly easily in their 30s and even early 40s.

You can't just read the headlines or you miss the point. Don't cause a run on the sperm bank I don't want to pay my taxes to bail them out too.


Realistically its not a drastic as you portray though it does have some interesting repercussions.

By the way I have a 2 year old non autistic smart as a whip daughter, and my opinion is that its not age that deteriorates sperm its lifestyle if a women is taking medications that might cause harm to her or her eggs where she to get pregnant it might cause harm to the child and if a man spends a lifetime of abusing himself either with drugs, drinking, poor diet etc. I believe it affects his virility or maybe a better way of saying it is the quality of his seed. Though I doubt this was one of the questions put to the men before they decided to have kids. It might be one you may want to keep in mind having a child later in life. I have noticed the healthier the parents the healthier the children seem to be. Thats just my opinion like it of leave it.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 68
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/16/2010 6:53:12 AM
The only way I would have affected my thinking is to wonder at what age I didn't have to try so hard to prevent pregnancy anymore. Never wanted 'em.
 PregnantLady
Joined: 3/1/2010
Msg: 69
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/21/2010 5:38:34 AM
I'm 28 and pregnant with my first and probably only child. My husband is 49 and I knew that I wanted a child with him and luckily it only took us 2 months to get pregnant.
I've talked to my Dr about the risks of my child having an older father and he said most of those studies that you hear about are so isolated and they make it sound like older fathers are a bigger problem than what they really are.
 PregnantLady
Joined: 3/1/2010
Msg: 71
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/22/2010 6:22:02 AM
I talked to him about it before I got pregnant..and what is with this "supposedly". I'm 2 months along.

And if someone would really read those studies they would realize that a young couple has just as much chance of having a child with autism or down syndrome as someone in my situation. Older men and younger women have been having children together through the ages and those kids were perfectly healthy, perhaps these Dr's of science and research need to find the real culprit.

 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 73
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 4/2/2010 9:02:51 AM
^^^^Ok, but only if you promise to carry it for 9 months and take it home with you. Wait, you don't need me for that - so nevermind.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 74
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 4/7/2010 1:15:33 AM
were you looking to single handedly go out like Johnny Appleseed and spread your DNA ?

then who the hell cares what you think about their own particular situation.

If the only reason we are here is to make minime copies and replicate... lets just get em bred up in a zoo setting; apparently we are no better than livestock

wtf

btw, there was a woman from Romania that gave birth last year just after her 60th birthday.
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 75
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New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 4/11/2010 8:01:20 PM
Ages aside I think the biggest problem for men and women in this internet age and smallest of worlds is EXPECTATION.

If you don't like the kind of men you're meeting look for men somewhere else. Give a humble lad a chance you might not have before. Despite the convenience of todays culture of consumption not every man is notching his bed post.
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 76
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fertility & old eggs
Posted: 3/29/2015 1:12:17 PM
old eggs are ( there are exceptions ) not good enough for reproduction.
just a fact.

A woman who wants children will figure it out & she is best to get busy before its too late-- like after late 20's to 30.

When I was 25 a patient of mine-- I saw only once-- never again made a simple statement about having kids promptly. Best advice ever given to me.

I didn't marry the perfect man though he had great DNA (educated family, sober, hard working family---except him--, handsome people from Asia).

(FYI--my husband refused to support his kids--while we were married 22 yrs or after the divorce. I don't fight over money-- never took one penny of child support.

Children have been the best thing I did in my life.
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 77
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New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/29/2015 1:14:28 PM
John Molloy in his book "Why men marry some women and not others"-- wrote what you said. --- about the humble lad
 Mz_Dressup
Joined: 11/15/2014
Msg: 78
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/29/2015 4:43:06 PM
Seriously, do you post while you're drunk?
 BillyBuckshot14
Joined: 10/30/2014
Msg: 79
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 4/14/2015 11:45:08 PM

New studies show the exact opposite, actually, as do the many 35+ women having babies in today's generation. Fertility declines very, very slowly for both men and women after 30 but not significantly until after 40. All the risks and certain "research" has been widely blown out of proportion and the more educated a person is the more they realize this. "Over 30, over 35, over 40" are just arbitrary numbers. Majority of first time moms nowadays are in their mid to late 30's and many into their 40's.

I know 3 women who had children in their late 30s and early 40s. All after shelling out $15K for in vitro fertilization.

Some men just like to try and push women into "settling for any guy before it's too late", too funny. Sorry fellas but times have changed and women have SO many more options these days when it comes to having a baby. Some men might want to settle down and have a baby and their strategy is to pressure women into doing the same. I don't blame them though as men can't just get pregnant when they feel like having a baby, women can. Marriage or not.

Sorry lady, don’t want to rain on your parade and recognize that time has most certainly changed but not near as earth shaking as you make it sound. Your rational has merit, but the number of women going into desperation overdrive in their 30s far outweigh men who you say use the clock to pressure women into relationships. At the end of the day, men don’t have Big Ben striking 12 in their 30s so that paradigm will not change unless you find a way to alter genetic programming.
 Axis555
Joined: 3/29/2015
Msg: 80
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 4/15/2015 9:43:23 AM

Some men just like to try and push women into "settling for any guy before it's too late", too funny. Sorry fellas but times have changed and women have SO many more options these days when it comes to having a baby. Some men might want to settle down and have a baby and their strategy is to pressure women into doing the same. I don't blame them though as men can't just get pregnant when they feel like having a baby, women can. Marriage or not.

Think of it as a shame game. Trying to shame people into feeling bad about themselves so people who were young when they had kids accidentally/or on purpose feel better about themselves. Or trying to shame them into being less picky and going for any guy and settling down and not worrying about a career. Women have careers these days, having children as quick as possible when they are not in the financial position to do so, is not top priority.
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 81
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 4/15/2015 9:56:34 AM
when I see a profile of someone perhaps beyond the new parent age but still has "undecided" marked..men or women, i think maybe they mean that as they're ok with dating those with kids.
I know if has the option in registering, but only upgraded members can see it afterward.
It would be nice if everyone could see that. Because I chose "do not want" just because I don't want to have biological children, but that's all I mean by it.
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 82
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New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 4/19/2015 6:13:09 PM
From your mouth to G-ds ears---women who want children should be able to conceive---no matter what.

If a woman is not ready then ----> Store those eggs unless she likes taking a chance.

It's terribly sad to see a women weep when she is "only" 35 & told she has no eggs or a poor egg supply or cannot conceive.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 83
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 4/20/2015 3:14:06 PM
4jman75- I found an article that has CORRECT information on fertility...............
http://www.myfuturebaby.com/fertility-clock/learn-more-about-your-egg-count/
Pay particular attention to the part where it talks about the odds of conception UNDER the age of 30.
I find the last sentence of your post more than a bit snarky and condescending.
Women this way exist, but are in the minority.
Most women don't go around desperate to find a man to "procreate".
Thankfully, I was able to have children and I wanted them.
That last point is key.
Having a child just because society thinks you should (or you THINK people think that) is NOT a good reason to have a child.
I know several childless couples who complain about the attitudes they get when people find out they are childless by choice.
I don't understand it.
Just as surely as I DID want children, some people don't and it's much better that they don't have children if they don't want them!
In other words, age is not as important a factor in parenting as whether or not a person is a loving, nurturing parent.
And one more thing...........
Back to my earlier point about women desperate to have babies being in the minority.
What I DO see,in the majority of women, is that we can sense when a man has a bad attitude towards women.
Women have to want to have sex with you in order to make a baby with you, you might want to take that FACT into consideration going forward.
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 84
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 4/25/2015 5:31:44 PM
My best friend had her first at 35 and she just had the new baby a few months ago now at 38. Both are happy healthy girls.
My aunt had her last, now 5 i think, in her early 40s. My aunt will be the first to admit she gets way more tired now keeping up with her in a way she hadn't with her first, when she was around 30.
I'm thinking my best friend wont be far from that same reality. But I just know she's happier than snot and those kids have a massive network of love and that's all that matters.
 Joegl209
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 85
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 5/11/2015 12:52:56 PM
I'm 33 and I basically gave up on the idea of having any children because most women in my age range already have kids from a previous relationship or they're unwilling to have anymore. And also to mention there is a high chance of the baby having health issues the older a woman is having children. Unless I meet a younger woman willing to start a family with me which I doubt will happen, I'm not interested in having any kids in my 30's with a woman in her 30's.
 Onyxbutterflies90
Joined: 10/14/2014
Msg: 86
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New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 5/15/2015 1:49:26 PM
My grandmother had her children in her mid to late 30s. She had zero complications and all 4 kids came out healthy. I don't see any reason to have kids in my 20s. I'm working on my career and building up my savings. Kids are an expensive life long commitment. It's not like I can put them away for awhile when I'm tired of being a mom. I think its better to wait until you're ready than to rush and have them just in case. That's so stupid. You meet a guy, he'll "do", you date him for a year, marry him after a couple of years, have a kid, realize you don't work well together, struggle for several years, get divorced when the kid is 10, and now you're in your mid to late 30s trying to raise your child and live a fulfilling life. No thanks.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 87
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 5/17/2015 2:29:18 AM
My grandmother had a HEALTHY and thriving baby in her mid-forties.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 88
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 5/17/2015 2:31:23 AM

And also to mention there is a high chance of the baby having health issues the older a woman is having children. Unless I meet a younger woman willing to start a family with me which I doubt will happen, I'm not interested in having any kids in my 30's with a woman in her 30's.


CYou consider a woman your age to be an "older woman"? Do you even know that of which you speak?
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 89
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 5/17/2015 2:42:31 AM

I'm working on my career and building up my savings. Kids are an expensive life long commitment. It's not like I can put them away for awhile when I'm tired of being a mom. I think its better to wait until you're ready than to rush and have them just in case. That's so stupid. You meet a guy, he'll "do", you date him for a year, marry him after a couple of years, have a kid, realize you don't work well together, struggle for several years, get divorced when the kid is 10, and now you're in your mid to late 30s trying to raise your child and live a fulfilling life. No thanks.


I hear you. It's a choice that is being shamed in the general public, hence our great reproductive debate politically, as of late.

I don't regret having my children and I've lived a fulfilling life with them, with travel, education, and self-employment. I also had them young enough and now that I'm single and one is grown and one is in adolescence who's made the choice to attend a reputed tech school to study programming near his father's home, I'll have even more time to further my education, increase my business, and see different people for a prospective relationship.

I may have fallen in that bracket in which I wanted to reproduce. I think my living abroad was motivated by my wish to have a full family -- but it brought me not only a son, but life experience on which I could capitalize (in a respectful manner).

The problem in dating is that many of the men who did decide to reproduce later in life are nor middle-aged men with minor children. I mean I have come across 45+ men with very young, minor children. No, thanks.
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