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Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 35
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players: do they ever focus on one person?Page 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

love is not a sport or a game.

Oh, it's romantic to think it's not a game, but if you look closely you'll find almost all human interactions are a type of game.

After all, if it isn't a game, why does it have players ?
Why does it have cheaters ?
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 36
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players: do they ever focus on one person?
Posted: 3/3/2010 4:42:45 AM
Nipoleon, good anology, my opinion is many men would agree with that very simply stance, however there are things that come into play in my evaluation of human nature is preception to a expierence. We all precieve events differently based upon our own personel barriers. We each precieve the events of our dates or other interaction in the moods we are in. Peoples moods change over a course of a relationship, people start dropping barriers and their real self start to emerge.

So am I a player if I date multiple women? isn't that dating?
Am I a player if after I finally waited months to have sex, with you we had it and that level of intensity isn't their? You women always mention chemistry, well what if "I" no longer have it? Some women have sex acting like they just gave me the holy grail and it was just a coffe cup without a handle. Am I a player because I moved on?

So in my opinion player is merely a term for
A. Broken Hearts, defense mechanism for feeling used created by one self.
B. Serial Monagomist (sp), which many men in late 40's and early 50's deep down prefer. Let's meet on equal terms have fun where sex is something you want to do, NOT a women it giving up.
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 37
players: do they ever focus on one person?
Posted: 3/3/2010 6:16:33 AM
i think most men are on here to find the woman of their dreams.
and most men are very sexual in nature.
im here to date until i find the woman of my dreams no mater how many it takes.
and yes sex is a big part of a relationship so i would still date other people while waiting for one person that i have been seeing to have sex to weigh the person .
only if i thought she was the one.
but i would never hurt a woman and would tell her the truth if confronted.
theres so many women just wanting for some attension that one of them wont break my heart if she leaves.
there are the few who will break the rules and run through women without remorse.
spend some time and money to write good personal ad and set the frame up front.
tell people exactly what you want and read theirs carefully!
women have the right to say no at have the right to try lol !
i have good friends who were players and most settled for one woman.
however there not the average person either .they are the kind of woman men would die for.......hope this helps!
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 38
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players: do they ever focus on one person?
Posted: 3/3/2010 9:42:04 AM
Actually, Shoedaddy has the correct point of view.

It's really a matter of honesty.
It's easy to tolerate a person who has other lovers and admits it up front.
The problem is that person who has other lovers but doesn't mention them.

No matter what we get, we want to know what we're getting.
We will put up with a lot, as long as we are aware of it honestly .

The old saying, " What they don't know won't hurt them " is not true.
" What you don't know ", is all that ever can hurt you.
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 39
players: do they ever focus on one person?
Posted: 3/3/2010 9:59:01 AM

My defense used to be "I only sleep with guys I'm exclusive with", and if I hear any lines like "I need to make sure we have a good sex life before I settle down" or "Wanna be my girlfriend?" soon after, then they get to kick rocks!

So how do you know if the man that tells you he is ready to be exclusive "really is ready"? IMHO, you never know for sure! There are men (and some women) who are not being dishonest when they say they want to commit to you, but then a month or two later cannot follow through with the commitment....

I believe honesty is the best policy, but rest assured there are absolutely no guarantees that when someone (man or woman) tells you they are ready for a committed relationship that they are truly ready....If they are not ready and back out a few months down the road you often hear it said that "he/she was a player". The truth is he/she was not a player but they could not predict how they would feel about the relationship after the "deed" was done....Sometimes, doing the "deed" actually changes things significantly, because one one or the other becomes clingy, possessive or insecure....Not to mention, he/she might just find that the sex was not great, and they do not want to continue....How is any of this type of (backing out behavior) a sign that someone is a player??

As I said there are no guarantees, especially when it comes to relationships...
Joined: 2/22/2010
Msg: 44
players: do they ever focus on one person?
Posted: 3/7/2010 5:33:59 PM
Players ALWAYS focus on one person...THEMSELF...

and the sad part is they don't care who they hurt as long as they get what they want.

they manipulate you to make you feel like you're "the only one" when in fact, there are three or four on the side. basically what i'm getting at is, what they can't get from one, they'll find it from another and so on...
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 54
Short answer: yes.
Posted: 7/18/2010 8:41:22 PM
Player to me has a rather narrow definition. It's purposeful deceit in passing oneself off as looking for a monogamous, faithful relationship when one has no intention of doing so. It's also not gender specific. I've seen plenty of women who use their looks and personality to string susceptible men along.

However, if you "know" the person you want to date is seeing other people in romantic relationships because they don't hide it or even "tell" you, they are not being deceptive, are they?

If you still choose to date them you're doing it with eyes open and can't later complain of being used and abused.

I can't tell you how many people have told me they "knew" such and such was a slut or gigolo but decided to date them anyway. They offer all kinds of hollow reasons like the sexual attraction was just too great or they loved their personality or circumstances threw them together and love "blossomed" or other such nonsense. The real problem is one of immaturity and callous disregard for common sense, and there seems to be no age limit for gullible stupidity.
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 55
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players: do they ever focus on one person?
Posted: 7/19/2010 9:42:03 AM
what if they do not have other women?
can he still be considered a player ?

Well, I reckon he was smitten and he think he is inlove and playing the field game is over.
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