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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Accepting every date offered.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 9
Accepting every date offered.Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I don't think you should meet anyone unless you actually like them and really want to meet them otherwise what is the point? Meet in busy locations and it will be fine. Don't give into irrational fears otherwise we all may as well start putting electrified bars over our doors and windows.

Amen Ray of Ray. I would hate it if the guy wasnt really interest just killing time.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 10
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:30:53 PM
Potential date : Say, you're not a psycho or a pervert, are you?
Me : Actually, yes. You should consider me one until you become convinced otherwise.
Potential date: ???
Me: Guilty until proven innocent, ma'am. Now then, how 'bout them dodgers?

The first time someone has made me laugh on this site. THANK YOU.
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 11
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/1/2010 7:49:35 AM
Absolutely not! Only go on dates with people you feel comfortable. You have to look out for what you want and you're not doing anyone any favors by getting their hopes up. Besides, you would be inundated with too many dates to make a serious decision.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 12
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/1/2010 7:50:07 AM
Shoedaddy

Real men do ask me out. I dont just get offers from guys on line. I get real live breathing men who ask me out. I know it is crazy in this day and age that people meet in real life. But they still do. And I get first emails that ask me out. Without any exchange. Just a offer to meet for coffee.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 13
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/1/2010 7:52:59 AM
Years ago there was a book out about how to get married in 30 days or something stoopid like that. The author said to date every man that asked you out. She also said to actively pursue ever man you met, whether they were your type or not. She went on to say to treat dating like you would looking for a job. She said you just never know the one man that you didn't find physically attractive just may be the one that wants to get married. And now the same concept has resurfaced. Ludicrious!
Why on earth would we even want to waste someones time if we know from the very beginning we are not attracted to them? Oh, I know because some are so desperate to get married they will do anything to get that ring on their finger & have that house with the picket fence.
The whole concept is laughable.

Blond do you know the name of that book. I bet you anything that is exactly the book the 'expert' on this site is using to be the 'expert'. Hell finding a man to marry is easy. Finding the right man now that is the hard part.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 14
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/1/2010 9:13:59 AM

treat dating like you would looking for a job.

You mean by sitting home and waiting for that boyfriend to arrive in the mail? Hmmm... now that you mention it, online dating IS like looking for a job.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 15
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/1/2010 6:10:57 PM
SASSY I was wondering that myself. I thought it would be rude to ask her. But you are right who the hell has time to go out with every guy who asks. Who wants to sit and listen to every guy who has the guts to ask you out for a dinner?
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 16
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/1/2010 6:46:40 PM
In the skim of things I see the whole idea of dating every guy who ask me out is in a number of ways stupid. I couldn't think of any other word but asinine. Both words seem a little harsh but the truth hurts. I would think after about a month of dating frogs ( the term the other forum uses not mine) you would be totally burnt out on dating. And when the right guy does ask you out you wouldn't want him within a country mile of you. I doubt the 'expert' really sat down and thought this out. She read it somewhere thought it was a good idea and put pen to paper.

I will continue to say no to the guys I am not interested in. Dating isnt a past time it has it's purpose. It is meant for you to have an opportunity to get to know someone who has pricked your interest. The reason a guy ask any woman out is because he has an interest and an attraction to her. It would silly to go out when you don't feel the same way. I don't know about yall but I cant be talked into feeling all warm and fuzzy about a guy. Either you are interested OR you are not. It is that simple and yes it is a snap judgement.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 17
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/1/2010 7:06:56 PM

I read on another post that women should accept every date offer she gets. I thought that was a little mad. What do you think? As long as there is no safety issue should a woman accept any and every offer she gets?

Yeah, I think that's the dumbest advice one could give, even if you eliminate the obvious complete wackos. From a 5th grader's point of view, "just have coffee with him" sounds just fine -- you're giving someone a chance, and well, who knows, right?

People take a meet-up = "I find you attractive". In fact, even if you mention one little blurb to be "friends" when meeting -- that does not cut it at all. Leading someone on is done usually by those who are trying "to be nice". Wake up people. :)

Now, if you're someone who's "too picky" from a personality perspective, or in other words when dealing with profiles & emails, have a hair-trigger to call something a red-flag (because you're probably shy to meet and you're obsessed with calling things out), then I would say meet up with someone who seems physically attractive to you, and by general standards, comparatively speaking against other profiles, seems okay -- even if you're ehh. Just make a coffee date out of that, with no drumming things up w/ expectations, where you consider but opt out otherwise (and let him know you've got issues about guys and what rubs you the wrong way).
 LG2727
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 18
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History
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/1/2010 10:24:21 PM
Probably written by a woman who doesnt get asked out much. Thats just as crazy as having to accept every loser who wants to hit on you or asks you to dance when your out. Just as crazy as those on here who reply to every email because its polite. These women apparently have never had the whackos who freak on you because you're not interested.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 19
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History
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/2/2010 11:16:36 PM
If you know from the get go that nothing is going to make you attracted to a person, then no.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 20
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/4/2010 2:29:41 PM
Years and years ago, back before WWII, it was expected that women would go on lots of "dates" with a lot of different men before they settled into "going steady" with any one man.

With the changes in society it would be impossible to use the rules of another generation as the guide lines for us today. I dont think the expert is being realistic.
 WeAre1
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 21
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History
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/4/2010 3:02:24 PM
This is the problem with making a thread with what someone else said....like a third party thread.... because I'd like to ask the person who originally said this why they feel this way? It's possible it was meant in a context that we obviously don't know, and the OP conveniently has no responsibility to be asked for more information.

Anyway, common sense for me says absolutely not.
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 22
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History
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/4/2010 7:08:24 PM
I can understand it to a point. Like if a women gets an email from a guy saying hey...you got nice tits...let's hook up. Vs. If a guy sends you a nice email and you chat back and fourth and exchange numbers and then he asks let's meet.

If there is no phone number exchanged...then there is no point of meeting. Also it is very important to get a current photo like a mobile photo...preferably with them holding up the current days newspaper next to his face
 ajfedz
Joined: 12/25/2008
Msg: 23
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/5/2010 4:35:34 PM

SASSY I was wondering that myself. I thought it would be rude to ask her. But you are right who the hell has time to go out with every guy who asks. Who wants to sit and listen to every guy who has the guts to ask you out for a dinner?


beebeebaby, I think that what this person means by taking every date offered, is not to be taken literally. I interpret "every" to mean "most reasonable offers".
Also, if you date guy (1) he may be the guy you have been looking for, and if so, you would no longer be on the market to date other men, so -- "Who wants to sit and listen to every guy who has the guts to ask you out for a dinner" is thinking negitively and would be a moot point.

I think the advice you've seen elsewhere, was making the point, that if you don't actually meet the person, you may be missing out on a good prospect. As much as we like to judge a potential partner by a pic and their about me, is that enough info about a person to make a good judgment call? I think not!

I have had many women not respond to my emails and (1) year later, they are still on POF... Sad!!!
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 24
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/5/2010 9:41:42 PM
Is it possible that this was being said ‘encouragingly’ to someone who was struggling to find a partner...sometimes people can be flippant with their advice?!

Email me and I will gladly send you the link.
 ajfedz
Joined: 12/25/2008
Msg: 25
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/6/2010 3:45:47 PM

Yes ... they are called meal whores.


na! I believe women utilizing online personals should give more consideration with each offer. I don't believe a women can accurately distinguish their - type by a photo and an about me - if so, women are ridiculous!
 negpotoprens
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 26
view profile
History
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/6/2010 6:41:28 PM
I agree, that is mad.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 27
view profile
History
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/7/2010 6:36:34 AM
"The Year of Yes" -- I knew I had heard about this concept recently in popular culture -- thanks for jogging my memory! It's in the development stage for a movie, to be released in 2012 (the counter to "He's Just Not That Into You," perhaps?). So perhaps this idea isn't as insane in modern times as we all think it is.
 bananadancing
Joined: 11/20/2009
Msg: 28
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/7/2010 11:19:13 AM
Depends on what the girl wants. If she wants to be stuck up and wait for prince charming to come and sweep her off her feet then she shouldn't accept. If she wants to meet lots of different people why shouldn't she accept them all. Personal choice really. I've been asked out by women that I'm not really/wasn't attracted too, but hell going out is better than staying home right? Some of them I'm still in contact with and we're friends. Others not.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 29
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/8/2010 2:58:26 PM

treat dating like you would looking for a job.

Yeah -- but someone can be desperate for a job and end up at McDonalds... they shouldn't do the same for dating. lol There's a difference between dates & work -- you NEED a job -- you DON'T need a date.

Dating is like decent job interviews. I would say treat dating like you would looking for a job interview WHEN there are decent job interviews already on the table.

If you're too picky about jobs and expect this-small-thing and-many-other-small-things, etc., you could suffer the same thing when dating. Sometimes it helps to have someone else who doesn't carry an over-sensitive red-flag monitor to help balance ya out, if you think every option out in the world is "settling" (you may not be as deserving as you think).
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 30
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/9/2010 8:12:33 AM

na! I believe women utilizing online personals should give more consideration with each offer. I don't believe a women can accurately distinguish their - type by a photo and an about me - if so, women are ridiculous!


But you as a guy can based on the exact same information???? Does that make you ridiculous too??? Or as a guy should you ask out every woman on here to make sure the right one is not over looked cause she doesnt fit your list of standards????
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 31
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/9/2010 8:15:24 AM

being
a fun date takes practice.


I dont believe that. It will cause you to get burnt out on the whole experience. You repeat the same information over and over again to guys who you really dont want to see again because well you are just practicing on them. And at what point do you tell this poor sap you are just practicing your social skills on him?? And you arent really interested in dating him for real??
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 32
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/9/2010 2:56:16 PM
I've known a few people who've thrown up their hands and said what the hey.......and tried that. It's always sort of a desperate gesture, as if.....well I've tried everything else.

I've never known the result to be anything positive, they're almost as ghastly as the pity dates......ugh!
 tinsleyhut
Joined: 12/6/2009
Msg: 33
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/9/2010 6:39:40 PM
If we are talking on-line dating, then there is a difference between a first meet and a date. If we have messaged each other on-line and find enough interest than I would go on a first meet with them. I am not going out of my way to dress up for them though. If I don't feel something on that meet up than I do not go out on a "first"date. I also do not give out my whole name or phone number until after the first meet. No reason to gather extra cyber stalkers without any interest and I can't make a judgement whether or not to somewhat trust them until I meet in person.
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