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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Just broke up because the sex was bad      Home login  
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 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 67
Just broke up because the sex was badPage 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
?WTF?

OP, ever post you put on POF is some "crisis" situation where your boyfriend isn't paying enough attention to you for some reason or another. Every post you start has you either breaking up with some guy or on the verge of breaking up, or separated and giving him another chance or wondering when he's going to dump you, or wondering when you're going to break up.

It's like you can't go a day without having a crisis to fret over. "He put mustard on his french fries - does that mean he's breaking up with me?"

OMG. Will it EVER be over? Have you broken up with this guy 20 times already or is this the 20th guy in the last year? I dunno. I can't count any more.....but I can see the future, 50 years from now, when you're online whining about how your BF just died and he did it because you weren't pretty enough or just broke up with him, or were about to break up, or .... ???

 albagood
Joined: 12/24/2009
Msg: 68
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 3/27/2010 7:52:21 PM
Maybe it is shallow...........or maybe we will both always be looking for more.....
 albagood
Joined: 12/24/2009
Msg: 69
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 3/27/2010 9:01:01 PM
Yah maybe the above guy is right and if he is than I wonder why he trys to initiate sex with me. I really don't feel the love though from him and that puts me probablly just where he is with me...."why am I here, waisting my time?"

I seriously don't get it and I think he doesn'y . I think it is his man made medications.........or alcohol. He said he had the same problem with his ex girlfriend and they went to a counselor but, I think it is his medications for depression........I don't think someone who is not sexually sttracted would continue to try to sleep with me......
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 70
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 3/27/2010 9:09:19 PM
I tend to agree with your decision to break up with him. You are wasting your time if you don't love him and bad sex just means that one more very important facet of the relationship is missing...good love making.
I've given this a lot of thought and I understand that some men just can't physically engage in intercourse.
The decision then rests on the woman...is she willing to continue in a relationship where there is love but no intercourse??
For me there has to be compatibility, love, trust and a goodly part of the relationship has to include making love.
I'm not a woman who can be satisfied with oral sex alone, so for me, there would have to be EF!!
I love my three brothers, they are wonderful men and they are very, very dear to me...but they are brothers.
I would feel nothing but platonic or Philos love for a man who couldn't engage in sex with me and that would for me have to be intercourse.
Its sad but simple.
How would a man feel if he was fully functional and needing that from a woman but the woman was unable to have sex?
How long would the man stay with her.......hummmm??
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 71
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 3/28/2010 12:31:41 AM
you should not settle for a man who drinks versus satisfying his woman
if he had manliness he would take a little blue pill and quit the booze
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 72
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 3/28/2010 7:52:42 PM
What if the "little blue pill" doesn't work for this one?
 happy2flirt
Joined: 10/18/2010
Msg: 73
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 7/25/2011 2:16:49 AM
I've been in a similar relationship minus the drinking problem. I blamed myslef every time my ex had a problem 'getting it up'. And when he could the sex was TERRIBLE. Guys would dump us women faster then you could believe if we were bad at sex and couldn't get them off. What's wrong with us doing it? I gave him more opportunities then you could imagine but in the end he had to go.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 74
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 7/25/2011 8:33:13 AM

One of the most common mistakes women make in the bedroom, is to assume men do not require mental stimulation during sex... We tend to be able to provide it for ourselves when young (and surprised we're even getting it); but, as we mature, we need more participation from our partners. Women who can't keep up mentally, turn to younger men and bash us for not being simple... (Which I guess is a different topic.)


I quite agree that men get more complicated as they mature, as their minds get more of a grip on their dyks and drivers, but I stop well short of positing that women can't keep up mentally. I suspect that the experience of most women is that every men turns on like the proverbial light switch, and when they don't, they're somehow defective and in need of repair, or a pill, or counseling, or something else to "cure" them. lol What a fine irony! Just when men begin to bring all their working parts to the table, as women mostly do from puberty onward, so that there is actually a mating more of equal partners, derision and disdain, are at least "concern", is the distaff response. Seems the playing field is never quite level. jmho
 ForeverLong
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 75
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Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 7/25/2011 4:37:43 PM
I broke up because everything but sex was bad.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 76
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 7/25/2011 5:45:23 PM
I wonder if the op's man, was able to get it up while masturbating? Because I've heard others with medical expertise say, if that's possible then it's not ed. And if they can get it up and pleasure themselves and not in a one on one sex situation, then it's all psycholgical.
 Tigerwood_11
Joined: 1/28/2011
Msg: 77
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 7/26/2011 7:53:50 PM
breaking up is a gd answer...the drink can cause it but not alcohol tho. Alcohol can only reduce the sperm low count but it has nothing to do with hw gd a man in bed...The number one reason is Sugar. If you have too much sugar (soda drinks) you ejaculate pretty fast and that is why is gd for guys to exercise at least 2 day in a way if not 3 or everyday...I just feel sorry for guys like that...if my partner does not gd in bed...it gives me rm to cheat on her...
 Phoenixdolls
Joined: 6/30/2011
Msg: 78
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Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 7/26/2011 8:24:19 PM
Don't feel bad. I was married for 14 years and he NEVER had a real hard-on. He always needed meds, plus his 'member' was very small. Sigh.
Looking for a man with a nice package. Yeah.
 nbeattie
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 79
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 7/26/2011 8:42:49 PM
understand ur pain im 29 now and was with a 34 year old that sex wasnt a prioority nor was it even on his mind that it was important tome and i tried to have him do other things to show me affection like sitting together on the couch more hugs blah blah but he just didnt get it icame down off my gotta have it horse andstill couldnt help so i dont blame ya it does suck when u love him and sex is bad or not enough or whatever cuz i stillwant him but i just think how unimportant i was to him and it helps me get by
if u protrayed ur needs wants and desires to him and he could still TRY then was the best to go cuz we have needs tooooooooooooooooooooo

hope u find good sex ............ and mee toooo
 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 80
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 7/26/2011 10:32:48 PM
You say you didnt love him, the sex was bad and didnt trust him?? Why would you not break up???

I think alcohol can cause dysfunction especially heavy drinking. He may have other underlying health issues too as he is young for that problem. You are not shallow
and if you love each other you can work out the sexual issues generally.
 PasionLatina0529
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 81
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 7/27/2011 6:36:57 PM
Yeah, if it's bad..I won't stay with him unsatisfied and I will TELL him! Just being honest!
 riisey
Joined: 7/10/2011
Msg: 82
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 8/3/2011 11:56:40 PM
I agree with you, the bedroom should be an unselfish place. I dated a guy who was bad in bed, stiff as crap but I stayed with him, he could last a long time, can you imagine bad sex for a long time but I loved him. He had the audacity to cheat on me with his stiff none moving ass. How hard could it be to move your hips around..geez!! Oh and he was horrible at oral sex!! anyway moral of the story, bad sex but good relationship can work. I put up with it for 3 years, having my hips pinned under me and the only freedom I had was being on top where he pulled on me all the damn time. Good luck.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 83
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Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 8/4/2011 2:02:37 AM
Reads post....bangs head against the wall Has it occurred to anyone that if the OP really needed to ask this question, she has far more important issues to deal with.....like finding out if the cups of her bra go on the front or the back.
 aceof718
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 84
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 8/4/2011 2:37:44 AM
bad sex means u guys r done with each other sorry to say this
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 85
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Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 8/4/2011 3:22:08 AM
^^^^^How long did it take you to figure that out? Did the "just broke up" part of the thread title give you a clue? OP, I think we've just found your intellectual equal!
 goingformine
Joined: 12/11/2005
Msg: 86
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 8/4/2011 11:14:46 AM
If you don`t love someone the sex is just that...sex. It`s always hit or miss under those circumstances...plus you had trust issues...sex, involves a LOT of trust..you`ll never give yourself or even want to give yourself to a person you consider untrustworthy and every affection they send your way will only bounce off. In this case sex being bad is just the symptom..and seeing there was no real foundation, there was no cure. You weren`t shallow, just responding to unmet needs to made sex just another set of actions to be done throughout the day, but ones that have emotions attached....good decision.....
 distinct_purpose
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 87
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 8/17/2011 8:16:47 AM
Funny bad sex can ruin a good relationship but even great sex can't keep a bad relationship together?
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 88
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Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 2/10/2012 9:54:47 PM
I think we have gotten somewhat off topic here, FYI, a woman can love a man and still feel devalued. Mentally, emotionally, psychologically and Physically, Let me give you an example. Years ago, as a bookkeeper, I had had a particulary "bad" day. He had called me during the day, so he had an idea, what I was going through. After work, I picked up the kids, took them home, and I am exhausted. When I walked in, he had a cup of coffee for me, with cream and sugar, just the way I like. We sat at the kitchen table and I told him about the day. Me venting, AKA ****ing. Then he goes to our bathroom, fills up the bath tub with hot water and bubbles. He says he taking the boys with him, they will go and bring back dinner, just "take a bath". That was one of the best nights of our life. After we ate, of course, and the boys were in bed. Most men dont have a clue about women. Venus and mars thing, I guess. It is simply being felt we are of value to you. That our thoughts, our emotions, are of some importance to you. This is a GREAT SECRET among women, You guys learn to value, and make her feel she is of value., YOU will get lucky. Value, respect, consideration-- that is the key to the female labido.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 89
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Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 2/10/2012 10:13:30 PM
He knew when he came home, he would have a good meal, full control of the remote, peace and quiet, the newspaper,and whatever else he needed for a good night sleep---talking, venting, whatever.



Kudos to you Maffers. Most men have no absolutely no clue.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 90
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Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 2/10/2012 10:33:40 PM
I guess it does. That is what we all need, someone to be there, to say "its OK, Im here for you. " Someone trying to make the day better, but most people are all about them. Taking and not giving.
 anais987
Joined: 12/14/2010
Msg: 91
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 2/11/2012 10:34:48 PM
a lot of people stay in the disfunctional relationships and it just leads to more problems. you had guts to admit them and give yourself a chance to find a happy one! good luck!
and I don't think it's shallow to break up because of bad sex.
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