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Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 12
Skin colour preferencePage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
This is so boring and '80's like ....can't we just accept people have differences and its their right to be whatever they want...desire who they want, without reading more into it than that?

You have a hang up about men who will pass on a woman based on her size, and now this...

Do you date men much shorter than you?, heavier than you? men with penises smaller than 5 inches? ,men who are poor?, don't have a car?

If so, what are the reasons?
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 16
Skin colour preference
Posted: 3/1/2010 2:04:10 PM

If you were close to your family and they were rude, racist, and hateful towards black people would you bring your bf around?

If that were my family, I wouldn't even bring myself around.
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 18
Skin colour preference
Posted: 3/1/2010 3:15:57 PM
I am colour blind, so it only matters to me what type of awareness lies behind the person's eyes.
Although their eyes have to be orange. It is a must for me.
I don't know why. I can't even see orange.
Also, I am lying in this post. It is all lies.
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 19
view profile
Skin colour preference
Posted: 3/1/2010 3:22:23 PM
I sometimes wonder how the chronically offended and outraged make it through life,what a living hell their life must be...surrounded by people making free will choices for their lives without consulting them first for approval and knowing they don't have the power to force them to their will....must be hell.
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 20
view profile
Skin colour preference
Posted: 3/1/2010 4:00:36 PM

I want to start a discussion about whether it is ever ok to have a skin colour preference.
I think it falls into the same category as hair color preference, or hair length preference ... we all have an idea about what we're looking for but I think most people are open to exceptions.

I know a man who had always insisted he wanted a woman who was more on the skinny side ... didn't want an overweight woman. He ended up falling in love with a chunky woman who has turned out to be the love of his life. He can't imagine his life without her.

I used to have hair down to my waist ... and got many emails from men who apparently only wanted to see me because of my hair, because when I mentioned I was going to get it cut and donate it to "Locks of Love" ... they didn't write back.

I prefer clean cut men ... don't want facial hair as it is very irritating to my skin, but occasionally find myself drawn to men with with a mustache.

OP ... "okay" is anything that you're comfortable with. You really don't have to please anyone but yourself ... and owe no one else any explanations about the choices you make for yourself regarding who you choose to date or live with or spend the rest of your life with.
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 22
Skin colour preference
Posted: 3/1/2010 4:21:00 PM
Well, I personally suspect that the vast majority of people out there have "skin colour preference" of one sort or another, which is probably a fair part of the explanation for why we wound up with a fair amount of variability in humans on that score.

But there is a vast difference in how it is expressed from individual to individual. Some people have "skin colour preferences" because they are, in fact, simply racists. Others have them because they are attracted to the features they are attracted to, and that's all. A yen for blondes does not automatically consign a man to the same category as David Duke or the Nazi Lowriders, any more than a yen for Africans makes a woman a candidate for the Black Panthers.

In the space of a relatively few decades, most of North America and Europe, at least, have changed from cultures which were predominantly openly racist in a manner that would be shocking to most contemporary sensibilities, to cultures in which serious discussion of 'racial' issues is basically impossible because it's nearly taboo to mention the issue at all because even talking about it may just offend the sensibilities of some hyper-fragile prig.

I consider the present situation a problem because there are plenty of ugly racial issues still festering unaddressed and unsolved, and dating preferences have to be pretty far down that list in terms of importance. Just talking to black friends of mine (and I'm *not* claiming anti-racist laurels just for having black friends) about how many potential job offers disappear into vapour after the first interview tells me that.
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 23
view profile
Skin colour preference
Posted: 3/1/2010 5:12:23 PM

Skin color is no different than hair color, eye color, body type, ethnicity, etc. in what people are attracted to and prefer in their partner.

I think it falls into the same category as hair color preference, or hair length preference ..

That totally blows me away. Hair, eyes, body type etc can be altered, changed, in fact do alter and change automatically over time and are nothing at all like skin type. Saying you're not attracted to certain skin types of course implies something more than just aesthetics. Skin color usually indicates race, heritage, ethnicity, inalterable truths about someone, not just appearances. People are routinely killed because of their skin. Not so much their hair color. I'd absolutely love to hear from someone who only dates certain skin types to find out exactly why. I don't think attraction is always so impossible to control.
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 24
Skin colour preference
Posted: 3/1/2010 6:03:59 PM
It's not bad at all. Nothing wrong with only dating skinny girls either. The man has a preference and he states it. Like my old boss would say, it's time to put on the big-boy (girl) pants and get over it.
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 25
view profile
Skin colour preference
Posted: 3/1/2010 6:38:08 PM

Hmm, I wonder if the OP would disagree with the opinion that the majority of people date those within their own race/culture?

I think for me that culture is a bigger issue than race. Each race pretty much has its own culture, and the amount of that culture in individuals can vary greatly, or be almost completely non-existant
Joined: 6/12/2009
Msg: 27
Skin colour preference
Posted: 3/1/2010 9:35:06 PM

It was like the woman that enquired about the size of my penis..

When I told her and asked if it really mattered, she restorted 'of course size matters, I only date men with a large penis'.

Was I offended?

Darn right I was


OP - i don't think it is wrong to have a preference of any kind. now the underlying reasons could possibly be a factor for some to think it is wrong.(im tired so forgive me if that made no sense).
i don't have anything against anyone or have any biases towards any race, so im assuming its just the law of attraction? i like whiteys. skinny, dorky, awkward whiteys. shaved head, muscular, tattooed whiteys. either or.
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 30
view profile
Skin colour preference
Posted: 3/1/2010 11:15:13 PM
Some men only date Asian women...I don't think much about it as an attraction they have no control over. Now when it's a prejudice against a group of people because one feel superior, then I think racist and get lost.
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 32
Skin colour preference
Posted: 3/2/2010 12:58:46 PM

So you can't control your intelligence, eh?

Actually, by the primary definition of "intelligence," you can't-- your IQ doesn't change. Though a person who acquires knowledge might still be called "intelligent" regardless of what their IQ is.
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 33
view profile
Skin colour preference
Posted: 3/2/2010 12:59:28 PM

It was like the woman that enquired about the size of my penis..
Well gee, maybe some folks don't want to buy a cat in a bag.

I only date men with a large penis'.

Was I offended?

Darn right I was
Why were you offended? Weren't you able to tell her what she wanted to know? Maybe some folks don't like unhappy surprises ... right?

Why be offended ... when you could still turn it into a date? Just tell her you don't know how big it is but will be glad to get some help measuring it.

Penis size is nothing more than a preference ... right? (Most men would probably prefer having a big one rather than a teeny weeny one).
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 34
Skin colour preference
Posted: 3/2/2010 1:37:47 PM
I have predominantly dated only Hispanic or white (non-Hispanic white) women. I've gone on dates on several occasions with black women, but to be honest those dates always felt somewhat awkward and the whole thing just didn't seem to 'click' right, for either of us. So I guess I would say (though I wouldn't display such a thing on my profile -- because why go out of my way to make it seem potentially offensive or hurtful to someone who may read it?) that I am mainly seeking to date non-black women.

It's not for any racial reason, it's just that , like I said, all the previous dating experiences I've had with them have never seemed to go very well and for whatever constellation of reasons it always just seems to end up feeling like we just don't have much 'in common' (besides perhaps taste in music in some cases).

I wouldn't call it a 'skin color preference' though, because I very much like the appearance of dark brown skin (in fact I prefer women with some color -- a little tan, or 'olive', or brown -- over really pale white girls, personally).
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 35
Skin colour preference
Posted: 3/2/2010 4:01:25 PM
I found this offensive more offensive than someone turning me down for my size. I want to start a discussion about whether it is ever ok to have a skin colour preference. Is it worse than only dating skinny girls.

It's not that offensive to me, people want what they want. That's how it works.
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 37
view profile
Skin colour preference
Posted: 8/31/2010 3:53:26 AM
to each his/her own. as a "white" mom of children of color, when i come upon someone like that, be they euro or afro descent, i won't date him. it is one thing to like certain types. but, to be that narrow minded is not "my" preference.

i have certain types. don't we all? but, i'm open and slowly my types have expanded! there is someone for everyone. as a 61 year old woman who is "dating", i can guarantee you that. you just need to be patient and stay focused.

don't waste your time getting insulted. move on along. if you feel people you come across are racist or narrow minded, despite your meeting "their" criteria personally, move right along as well. you are "as" entitled to your preferences, as they are to theirs.
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 39
Skin colour preference
Posted: 8/31/2010 2:06:52 PM
i gave up a long time ago about not being racist, we all are some form of "ist" and there are different levels of it. I personally am not attracted to other ethnicity's though i seem to be to them, i've even gone so far as to put it in my profile. Just saves time for both parties. While i may not date a person that was non white, doesn't mean i can't be friends with or be respectful to strangers that are non white. At least, the man knows what his preference is and isn't wasteing the time and energy on creating a bond that will later break and hurt if you happen to not meet his requirements. Yes i know that sounds a little wrong. But i think it's better to be honest upfront, than strung along.
Joined: 10/19/2009
Msg: 40
Skin colour preference
Posted: 9/3/2010 1:40:54 PM
You mean "okay" as in morally correct? Open-minded? Acceptable?

A preference is a preference and everyone is entitled to them, like it or not. I do, however, think it's sad when people are unable to give someone a chance who fits the bill in most ways, but has a physical quality that isn't necessarily *preferred*. It's the person with the inflexible preference who may be missing out. But, ultimately, that's their decision. I don't judge anyone for it. I'm close with people who claim not to be attracted to certain races/ethnicities. I don't think it makes them bad people... perhaps a little stuck in their ways, though.

It's all good, though. The most important thing is to be happy with who YOU are, to find happiness with your partner, and to be decent human beings to everyone else. We all deserve that much.
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 42
Skin colour preference
Posted: 9/8/2010 8:28:23 PM
Everyone has their preferences whether they are considered part of the norm or not within the specific culture. Some people like to date someone within the same culture they identify with. I have friends who seem to reject dating women who are part of the same background. For example, I have an Asian guy friend who won't date Asian girls. It seems weird, but he told me it's because he grew up with a lot of Asians and they just aren't as exciting to him as a white girl is.

I've had guys tell me that they don't date skinny girls and don't understand how I could be as thin as I am. I don't starve myself and I'm at the point where I don't get offended if someone doesn't like me because I am thin. I know that what matters is that I am happy with who I am and that someone else will be happy with me too one day.

I also think it depends on the person. Some people are offended, while some may not be offended by various preferences. For example, women who refuse to date short men. It's a man's fault if he's short and it's not someone's fault if they are a certain skin colour. It's the way you're born. There are lots of people out there with different preferences and it shouldn't be offensive if someone isn't into you if you're not their type. Just move on and talk to someone who will accept you for you.
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 44
Skin colour preference
Posted: 9/12/2010 1:57:56 PM

I found this offensive more offensive than someone turning me down for my size.

It shouldn't be offensive. Should one be offended that my friend has a strong preference to Asian gals? No.

You're not upset about positive preference, you're upset about negation preference. Why? Does it mean they're racist? No. Racism means one race is inferior. If someone said they don't date, say Latino women because their race is [insert something here], then that's one thing...

... but as a taste issue? Shoot. We'd all be lying to ourselves if skin tone or color didn't make a difference in our tastes. Should everyone lie to themselves and say they like a gal who's ultra-pale and never saw sunlight? Or discount a gal who's overbaked from the tanner? Or really liking that mixed-color look? Come on. It's preference to a taste. That'd be like being offended if someone didn't like chocolate ice cream and only wanted vanilla. They'd be limiting themselves if they were absolutist about it, but who cares? Call someone a racist when they're a racist... not based on what tickles their elmo when eying a crowd -- that isn't "racist", that's just taste.
Joined: 7/7/2010
Msg: 45
Skin colour preference
Posted: 9/13/2010 11:09:22 PM
I put I'm searching for a single white male because that's who I'm comfortable with. I grew up around whites and my family is white so I don't feel an attraction or connection with black men.

I get contacted by a lot of black men when I'm here and I thought, why keep turning them down? I have an age preference too. Perhaps I'm ageist ~ all I know is I like what I like

I've seen profiles from white men who are only interested in black women. If that's who they like then that's who they should be with
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 46
Skin colour preference
Posted: 9/14/2010 12:50:17 PM
cheer up, I am only fishing over seas; I have not had the inkling to date american women since highschool.
Joined: 1/16/2010
Msg: 47
Skin colour preference
Posted: 9/14/2010 1:27:25 PM
People have no right to have their own preferences; everyone must be attracted to everyone else equally and that way no one's feelings get hurt.

Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 49
Skin colour preference
Posted: 9/19/2010 4:24:53 PM
Of course it's ok to have a skin color preference.We are all allowed our own preferences and if someone else doesn't like it then tough for them.

There are certain races for me that I find the men generally beautiful and other races where I have only seen very few that I have actually found attractive.People would like to make that seem like this is racist when it's not something we can control.None of us can force ourselves to be attracted to someone.Don't believe me? Go and find a man/woman who you find completely unattractive and date him/her.I tried this and was with him for a long time.I never became attracted to him.It's not even a preference really because you have no choice in the matter.
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 50
Skin colour preference
Posted: 9/19/2010 4:28:38 PM
It's a skin color preference...keyword preference. As long as the person is not discriminating or committing hate crimes against skin colors he/she doesn't find appealing there is nothing wrong with it.

Op, note that that man said he only dates women with white skin. DATES! For Christ’s sake why make more of this than what it really is? I am sure he would have friends of any skin color, but dating someone whom you are attracted to is your preference.
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