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Joined: 3/1/2010
Msg: 73
Falling over the phone…Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I am realizing that in getting back into the dating game after 15 years of marriage, reading this kind of brutal honesty may be the best thing I could have come across. Thank all of you men for your honesty...I needed to be reminded that this dating stuff/meeting guys is somewhat of a game. I used to play it well, but after a long & mostly happy marriage, I guess I got naive. Women enjoy sex, just like men do. Emotions are usually involved for us. I guess we need to protect our emotions more. Let's throw a spin on this that may help men to understand what we women are trying to explain here...let's talk money. I have never been the type to feel comfortable with a man spending money on me, once I realize I feel no chemistry. I have a general respect for other people that way. But men, how has it felt when you have dated a woman, you are crazy about her & she just lets you spend lots of YOUR hard earned money on her, knowing inside that she sees no future with you, she is just enjoying the attention/gifts until a man who she is REALLY INTERESTED IN comes along? Is she a "beeyotch" for taking your money or is it just that you were stupid/naive/kidding yourself/deceiving yourself or whatever by allowing a person like that take you for a ride? (And I have known PLENTY of women who will do this.) Point here is, men tend to feel used, hurt or whatever when women take their money....women feel used, hurt or whatever when men take a piece of their hearts. And for women, it is sometimes difficult to separate our emotions from sex. Just the way we were made. I'm just saying...
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 74
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Falling over the phone…
Posted: 3/4/2010 6:47:25 PM
Why do men assume it's a game because a woman needs to take time to build a comfort level and develop other levels of intimacy. Why does that translate into a game?

its not that we always assume theres a game being played.
but we do sometimes, since most of the time when a woman is into us she`ll want move to physical intimacy at the same pace as us, oftentimes even sooner than we thought.

when we find ourselves with someone who seems to be on the fence or holding back, it can raise an eyebrow as to what her intentions or motives really are.

we have been strung along before by the old "waiting and getting to know you better first" when in reality, she didnt know what she wanted or didnt want anything more than friendship *but was in denial about it and simply waiting for something to happen.* (very important)

not trying to suggest that there arent any women who need more time to build a deeper connection before getting physical and in fact i can understand and appreciate this.
its good when i find someone who is sincerely getting to know me and not being wishy washy.

It's not a game it's her perogative.

you are absolutely right chill and its a foul on the play when theres pressure or demanding.
i think sometimes when a guy gets frustrated as to what it is she wants, he basically wants her lay some cards on the table so he can see where she stands once and for all.

The last time I heard caging a man in the cellar is illegal. Please let me know if the laws have changed. I have my eye on a dude named Scotty.

its legal here in Michigan, drag him on over and i`ll lend you my cellar :)

But men, how has it felt when you have dated a woman, you are crazy about her & she just lets you spend lots of YOUR hard earned money on her, knowing inside that she sees no future with you, she is just enjoying the attention/gifts

it isnt the money so much as it is the time spent being lead to pursue something that isnt there.

so the whole dance is a roll of the dice for everyone, for women she takes a chance on being used if she gets physical, for a guy he could be spending time on someone who only in it for the attention and free ride.

in both cases each could be missing out on someone whos for real.

but its a chance we all have to take and better if we concentrate on the goal of finding someone without allowing the pitfalls along the way make us bitter towards the gender whom we wish to connect with.
 Chill Pill
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 75
Falling over the phone…
Posted: 3/5/2010 5:28:02 PM
Okay Alooo, point well taken and I do agree.
If your holding out like it's some kind of "prize" like you are a born again virgin and your walking around with a golden hoo hoo.. then's a game.....
but that is not the point I am trying to make.
I will allow the argument in semantics because i do agree there is a differnet connotation to "make him wait" and waiting for the right time for you and your comfort level and making your choice.
I was simply quoting another poster to make my point, but I do see where you are suggesting there is a difference and I agree.
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