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 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 17
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Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Heaven forbid that the "tone" of a man's voice changes or they dare get upset. I mean it's only fair because you NEVER see a woman get mad or change her tone over something trivial when talking to a man right? (They usually throw something instead.)What a laughable bunch of hypocrites.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 18
Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/3/2010 6:24:01 AM
^^You're the only one to turn this into a gender thing. Nobody else suggested that a negative tone from a woman is any better than from a man.
 zergzlol
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 21
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Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/3/2010 7:58:31 AM
I pretty much agree with everyone saying that this seems like you're making issues out of nothing.


No, if you bothered to read my post, you'd understand that I didn't dismiss him because he asked, I dismissed him because his tone of voice changed when he found out I didnt park where he wanted me to. Big difference.


Really? I mean... really? A tone change? I should've known better than to express a different tone of voice to something that went different than expected or said! Seriously... a tone change? Really?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 31
Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/3/2010 1:39:15 PM
This thread isn't about another post, however it's in the same context. The op has brought her own personal judgment into the situation with no fact.

With the car situation it seems strange to me as well.

1. Two people talk and one suggests a place (maybe because he is familar with the area) where they BOTH should meet.

2. The other party decides to switch the location not because it works better for the both of them, but for whatever reason.

3. Because of the switch he now has to adjust to their new location and is confused as to why the change.

4. He asks for clairification because he is confused in different calm tone.

5. We don't know the reason given but is disregarded because of his tone for the rest of the meeting.

6. He's now know as a control freak.

Right I think I get it.


Apparently you don't get it. This post was not about changing the location at all.
He suggested a place to park...she found a place to park on her own. He apparently
got annoyed that she didn't park where he suggested she park and she took this
as a red flag. What I don't get is...why would someone flake out because you didn't
park where they suggested as long as you arrived to the place you had agreed upon?

I agree...if someone is going to get all pissy about something as trivial as this...who
knows how they'll react when something (dare I say) important comes up?
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 37
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Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/3/2010 1:58:48 PM
Yeah well, we don't know enough details. And besides which they've changed as we speak.
Since my first reading this thread, the first post has been edited to OMIT the parking and "change of tone" incident. What's that about??? Since it was such a contentious point in the first instance, I'm having a bit of a hard time understanding that.
edit
OOOpps Feeling like an Ass, NOT in the OP's post!!
But I do feel like Arabianangel thread-jacked a little, got a bit confused. sorry
 TorroRosso91
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 42
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Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/3/2010 6:08:31 PM
Arabianangel and jrodriguez81. Man, you guys really need to get a room. You can cut the sexual tension between you two with a samurai sword.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 44
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Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/3/2010 6:19:20 PM
He may be an OCD control freak that is somewhat insecure or he is just slightly off and really likes your girl. Sounds like she should take some additional time to get to know him and if he keeps acting like he needs to control how, why and when things happen then she should probably cut him loose.

When we get a niggling feeling we should listen to it, right now it doesn't seem like she knows exactly what is triggering it. She also was under stress with the move and what might have been kind of nice inquiry at another time just pissed her off.

Can't hurt to spend a little more time with the guy to try to figure him out.

JR I know you like to tick people off but seriously, this sounds like my kids who have to argue about the air and everything else on the planet because it is sooo important for them to be right when discussing anything with the siblings and 95% of the time whatever the point of contention is, is trivial crap.

I met a guy a year or so ago at a restaurant. He drove up, parked next to me but apparently was so wrapped up in his little corner of the universe that he didn't realize the vehicle he parked next to had its dome light on and woman sitting reading a book. So I waited a couple of minutes, he didn't phone me so I got out of my van and walked to the door of the restaurant. Now, the man had no picture on his profile but I did, so if either of us was worried about someone being a double bagger, it should have been me. He then finally phones as I have reached the front door. I told him I was parked next to you and I am now at the door. He insisted that we "meet" in the parking lot, which seemed retarded and also with the potential whack job issues, made me a little uncomfortable but there were half a dozen people in the parking lot in close proximity so I complied.

That and several other little things that came up over the course of the next hour just gave me the real feeling that he was a control freak and someone that would be unpleasant if he didn't get his own way. He never said anything about the mother of his kids being a bad parent and yet gloated about getting custody of his children and also forcing his ex to sign off on him moving the kids out of state. No mention of feeling badly for doing this, etc. There was no one big concrete thing but all things put together, something was off.

You're right, no one knows whether the OP's friend was being a b!tch or whatever but certainly when one is still at the state of putting the best foot forward bickering over her choosing to park other than where he suggested seems a little retarded, doesn't it?
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 48
Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/4/2010 5:21:51 AM
She shoulda shot him on the spot.That way there would be one less of us for you girls to complain about. Simple. But,,,,hold on a minute,,,,,what would we be talking about in these forums??????

Seems that there are quite a few experts out there nowadays whom can pick the "red flags" up fairly quickly. Also seems that us men got a bunch of em. And here I thought I saw an awful lot of red and white flags the last 2 weeks. You girls must have red waving around your minds day and night. I don't know how you can even sleep.

OP,,,,say your peace if you are soooooo concerned as a friend. If I was yours thou, I would thank ya,,,and put your thoughts in the appropiate place. Of course I don't see red everyday of my life.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 49
Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/4/2010 11:25:55 AM
^^^^^^^ apparently you only read the forums that show the guys
as bad and the women complaining. (I guess that give you something
to complain about)
Look around...there are plenty of other threads where the men are
complaining about the women.
The "experts" are people who have been on more than a few fish
fries and they are speaking from their personal experience. The
reality for me is...there are a lot more red flags in the pond than
there are in real life. Wouldn't surprise me if others thought that
as well.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 51
Guy seems too good to be true, so it's not true right?
Posted: 3/4/2010 5:19:03 PM

The "experts" are people who have been on more than a few fish
fries and they are speaking from their personal experience


Along with those "few" fish,,,they continually make the same silly choices,,,,no????? The ones complaining about the bad ones,,,,seem to constantly get the bad ones(both genders). The ones talking about "red flags" seem to have an awful lot of "experinces",,,,, THEIRS,,,,as you say.

Ya see a pattern yet????
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 53
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Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/4/2010 9:32:01 PM
^^^^^
Stallion204, Arabianangel, JRodriguez81,

Take this how you want it about controlling. I had this same parking scenario play out before. I had told her where to park specifically. She was cool and did as I asked...how cool was it when we walked to the car at the end of the date...that she had 3 dozen roses laying across her windshield...like oh my god Becky!

Now...had she did an Arabianangel on me...as cool and relaxed as I am..my voice would have changed in tone as I tried to figure out where she parked so I could have my friends find her car and place the roses....Hmm and then I would have seemed Rude during that part of the date where I kept answering my phone or sending text messages to my friends who are running around the parking lot with 3 dozen roses looking for her car.

All the while she was thinking how rude I am and how this date is sooooo over...I go to walk her to her car but she refuses and as she walks away my friends call me to tell me they still have not found the car or have they?

So tell me...I would have sent up a red flag because my tone in voice changed? And after she walked out on me walking her to the car...how would she have reacted had she got to her car and saw my friends dropping off the roses?

Point being...you have no idea what a change in tone means!
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 55
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Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/4/2010 9:52:41 PM
To the OP...you say he is too Good to be true but you have not listed anything he does that would make him GOOD or TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

Does he pull out chairs...is he easy on the swears kind of stuff? Hmm probably because there is not enough info on him yet...

Anway 2 dates 2 months? Something is wrong with that picture on both of their ends. Who is hiding what? Who is not feeling who? I know if I meet a girl and unless there is some serious distance between us...I am going to do my best to see her more than once a month...move or no move...heck if she is moving...I would be the gentleman to lend a hand...

The problem these days is that people don't know a GOOD MAN or GOOD WOMEN if their lives depend on it...and from reading the forums...a lot of woman's lives depended on leaving a BAD MAN.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 58
Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/5/2010 12:54:47 AM

Take this how you want it about controlling. I had this same parking scenario play out before. I had told her where to park specifically. She was cool and did as I asked...how cool was it when we walked to the car at the end of the date...that she had 3 dozen roses laying across her windshield.

I'm going to assume this was a girl you were familiar with, which isn't the same impression I got about arabianangel's date. There's no reason a guy I go on a first or second date with needs to know exactly where I parked. Any plan a guy has that involves my car at that point is ill-conceived.


So tell me...I would have sent up a red flag because my tone in voice changed?

Yes. As someone else pointed out in this thread, there are sometimes good reasons to tell someone where to park, such as parking restrictions. But in that case, a person should explain why they've instructed the person to park there, otherwise it will usually be perceived as a suggestion, not an order. I had a date and gave him specific instructions about where to park as a matter of convenience so he wouldn't have to search. He found street parking so it was no big deal. If I'd had a master plan that required him to park where I'd told him to, that would have been my fault if the plan fell through so I would have needed to ensure I didn't show any disappointment.

If a person decides to keep someone else in the dark about their motives, they should understand that any sketchy behaviors are going to be seen as just that. People aren't mind readers and in the situation you presented, your change of tone as well as your attention to phone calls/texts would not and should not be disregarded by your date.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 61
Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/5/2010 2:52:33 AM
I agree with arabianangel that receiving three dozen roses from a guy I barely knew would in itself be disconcerting.

Come on, you guys. You have to understand why negative signs are of greater concern to women.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 63
Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/5/2010 4:31:35 AM
^^ @ msg 82: It would depend on the circumstances. If a guy I barely knew gave me a flower or perhaps even a small bouquet I wouldn't see it as a negative sign. But if a guy I barely knew gave me a dozen roses (or three dozen of anything) it would be pause for concern that this guy is either moving way too fast or is totally clueless.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 64
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Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/5/2010 4:44:29 AM
My biggest "red flag" are women who see "red flags" in EVERY single thing whether it's negative or positive. You can't win with extremely paranoid people. It's one of those stupid phrases I look for in profiles so I can run in the opposite direction. As far as how much you spend on a date or flowers or whatever, it all depends on how much you earn. I'm sure a rich guy could buy a car for a blind date if he wanted to and it would be like most of us spending 20 dollars on a date. Every action by a man isn't because he has mental problems or some sort of agenda. People need to grow up.
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 66
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Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/5/2010 8:53:11 AM
Ok to put this all in to prospective and yes this was a first date. We also had good communication via email and on the phone:

Red (Single) = "I Love You"

Yellow = Joy, Gladness, Friendship, Delight, Promise of a new beginning, Welcome Back, Remember Me, Jealousy, "I care"

Now...maybe not like some...I pay attention to what roses mean...so yes I did give her roses...but not RED Roses...Yellow roses are the way to go...plus her car VW was yellow so I figured she liked YELLOW :) How did i know she had a yellow car...well she had a photo of her and her VW bug on her profile...Not cause I was stalking...I was observant.

Hmm and here in OHIO we have stores called Giant Eagle...they have a floral department. You can catch roses for deals around 6.99 - 9.99 per dozen...depending on the color and the time of season. Sooo max I spent $30 on 36 Yellow Roses. Free delivery because two of my friends did the delivery.

What happen to the days when the guy would show up to the door with flowers?

I think that these women are so used to being dogged on that when someone does try to show them something different...it's a red flag. I guy can't be romantic anymore without being called a stalker...or being too pushy...am I to believe also that chivalry is dead and women killed it?

So i spent $30 on some roses and $30 on dinner = $60. That's not really a lot for a guy who does not date much. The girl in this situation was impressed mostly because no one had ever took the time or thought to give her flowers. I wanted to do something nice for the girl...now had I tracked her down and delivered flowers to her house or job....then I could understand being called a possible stalker...I didn't FIND her car in the parking lot...I ASKED her to park where I wanted!

Flowers are a perfect no strings attached gift. As they are only good for so long. They die and then they are gone.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 67
Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/5/2010 9:09:37 AM
Along with those "few" fish,,,they continually make the same silly choices,,,,no????? The ones complaining about the bad ones,,,,seem to constantly get the bad ones(both genders). The ones talking about "red flags" seem to have an awful lot of "experinces",,,,, THEIRS,,,,as you say.

Ya see a pattern yet????


YA...I do.
It seems the pool is over flowing with poor choices (both genders)



Seriously...someone NEEDS to know where you parked because they're
going to have someone else put a bunch of roses on their car?
umm...yeah...this happens all the time...as a matter of fact I was just
saying to someone the other day...I wonder why all those cars have roses
on them?
ahahahahahaha!
 DIVISION77
Joined: 8/10/2009
Msg: 69
Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/5/2010 1:01:23 PM

So a friend has been talking to a guy for a couple months now, only seen him in person a couple times. The guy is a little two dimensional and doesnt drink. Likes things a certain way and even tells my girl to straighten out when some small thing bothered him. He keeps going on and on with the compliments and its obvious they are not sincere. She was in the process of moving and he got worried she was avoiding him. Seems like the kind of guy that has his harem and wants to make each girl seem like she's "the one". Something isnt sitting right with me about this guy, is he a control freak and used to getting what he wants and since this girl isnt putty in his hands he is baffled? Or am i just that jaded I dont understand that hey, he might just be a simple nice guy? I dont want to give her bad advice but her red flags have gone up too and she wants my opinion.
Please help, I dont want her to loose out on a good thing but this isnt normal male behavior...


There is so much wrong with this post I don't know where to begin.

First off, YOU ARE AN OUTSIDER, not a participant in the relationship so your opinion doesn't mean anything........absolutely nothing.

Your observations mean nothing because you don't have the benefit of perspective and you never will.

She needs to navigate her relationship how she sees fit without your "guidance".

Otherwise it's like the blind leading the blind..............NOWHERE!

Even if you have good intentions, your misguided attempts at "helping" your friend may end up ruining a good thing for her longterm.

Stay out of it.


 Dare to
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 70
Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/5/2010 2:10:30 PM

At the same time, I cant blame the ladies, but I also cannot be bothered to deal with the same ladies that are like that. It just seems like damaged goods.
Sigh... You guys will never get it, because you are guys... You are the stronger sex.. You don't seem to have any idea how many crazies are out there.and whether it is sexist or not, a crazy guy is (in general) a lot more dangerous than a crazy woman.. We do have to be careful...

There are too many men out there who would tell a woman to park in a secluded area so he can take advantage of her (not bring her roses) when he walks her back to her car. There ARE a lot of men out there who expect women to do what they are told and get annoyed when they don't. And sometimes the first sign of it IS a tightening of a jaw when they don't get what they want... I would also notice something like that.. There are also many men who are delusional about the prospects of a relationship with someone who they have never met, and don't take rejection very well and would feel that they were "owed" something for the flowers they put on the windscreen....( Can you imagine how that would go down in a quiet carpark when he was angry about being rejected "even" after he gave her flowers???)

Putting judement on women for being careful and trusting their instincts is insane!! We see sooooo many thread on here about how someone wished they hadn't ignored their gut, or saw the red flags but ignored them.... And in this thread they all "have issues" for trusting that instinct....FFS!!
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 71
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Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/5/2010 4:28:43 PM
Well...I'm not that guy...I guess you have a point...but, I'm not that guy. So anyone who took a moment to get to know me...would see...well...um...that I am not that guy!

Ha ha and the parking I had in mind was close to the handicap zone...I figured my friends wouldn't have a problem finding the car if it was near the handicapped parking

Has anyone gotten snatched up on a date using P.O.F? I have to search for a thread on that one. But I can understand your fear there are a lot of crazies out there but usually they don't try to date you on a site...they just snatch you up when they see you out and vulnerable...
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 73
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Guy seems to good to be true, so its not true right?
Posted: 3/6/2010 4:31:22 AM
No "offense" Arabian but the fact you instantly prejudge people without even knowing them (because I'm not the controlling type at all and never expect people to be perfect. It always seems to be the other way around when I date.) and see mythical "red flags" tells me you would be someone I would run even faster from. The only thing worse than seeing these ridiculous "red flags" in everyone is creating negative scenarios and judging people when you don't even really know them. You not liking me would be doing me a HUGE favor given your attitude so thanks. The fact that you think women have some kind of higher level of insight than men is not only flaky, it's insulting and a complete fabrication. Gender has nothing to do with intuition and you're really arrogant if you think that's true.
 Dare to
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 74
Guy seems too good to be true, so it's not true right?
Posted: 3/6/2010 2:20:16 PM

You pulling that old chestnut eh?
A woman is to blame for a pattern of meeting Jerks????? must be a subconscious need for them to be abused
Ha... yeah if a woman ends up with lots of jerks she is "looking for it" or has a bad picker.. BUT
My biggest "red flag" are women who see "red flags" in EVERY single thing whether it's negative or positive. You can't win with extremely paranoid peopl
If she sees the red flags and runs she's extremely paranoid!!

Whatever we do there'll be some idiot that thinks we have issues.. God forbid that a woman should have the sense to trust her intuition and look after herself!!
 CoolBreezez
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 75
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Guy seems too good to be true, so it's not true right?
Posted: 3/6/2010 3:13:55 PM
Looks like time for the old magic switcheroo (with spell checker)-


"Tell me about it...a woman's ego is such a joke it will always blame a man regardless of a man's behaviour

She has an affair= his fault
He puts on weight=his fault
He meets lots of biatches- yep his fault
He is in a relationship with a woman treating him badly=his fault
He's to nice to her and a door matt- his fault
And on and on this denial goes
pathetic
and all the time it is seen as a mans responsibilty to walk on eggshells for the womans ego or that will be his fault too."

Damn- responsibility for oneself is such a drag, good thing its easy to disown. After all we have not control over our fate whatsoever.
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 76
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Guy seems too good to be true, so it's not true right?
Posted: 3/6/2010 3:44:26 PM
Dare to:

Whatever we do there'll be some idiot that thinks we have issues.. God forbid that a woman should have the sense to trust her intuition and look after herself!!


Let me reapply this one cuz you took the words right out of my mouth...and from the mouth of others


Whatever we do there'll be some idiot that thinks we have issues.....[/quote\

I think you can apply that to women and men...this thread proves that.
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