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 Greg19899
Joined: 10/10/2011
Msg: 340
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?Page 12 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
Great post on that forums issue concerning red flags. You articulated my points before I could get them down on paper. I would like to add, angry, pissed off Btches..:) Sorry for the profanity. This site is a collection of angry women who post one thing and act entirely different. The part about stay at home mom/student/(drain on my tax dollars)..awesome.
 drewcornwall
Joined: 5/31/2010
Msg: 341
view profile
History
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/6/2012 8:40:46 AM
45, never married, no kids,

Can we have a George Clooney room then..? Just for us singletons.! free bar at the end too!
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 342
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/6/2012 8:50:54 AM
I have often said that same thing...or a site for never married but there might be one and I have not found it yet.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 343
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Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/6/2012 9:52:26 AM
I recently went for dinner with an out of town friend who is also on here. He told me that one woman refused to date him because he had never been married. He's 63 and also has no children.
Curious I looked at his profile later and saw his longest relationship was 7 years. While I wouldn't rule out someone like him I would wonder why at his age his longest relationship was only 7 years. Seems to be pretty stable/intelligent/courteous with no addictions.
Unfortunately we've tried so hard to learn from our mistakes that we now see problems where none exist. While I would wonder about him I also know he'd probably worry about my being divorced twice.
Isn't much that isn't considered a red flag in here. That's why we're still single, we're just too smart to let anyone pull the wool over our eyes!
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 344
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/6/2012 9:56:44 AM
^^^I wonder why he had a relationship that lasted 7 years without it resulting in marriage. We all look at things differently for sure. I have not had long relationships because the men either wanted to marry me after a few months and I knew it was not going in that direction or I wanted to get serious with them and they did not feel the same way.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 345
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Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/6/2012 10:01:28 AM
Not sure, I didn't want to pry. I've also dated a few men who never had children, all said their wives didn't want any. Sure made it easier for me when dating them! Sadly they did regret never having children and I know they would have been wonderful fathers.
I never should have married either of my husbands, if I had known better than I guess I'd be never married/no kids.
 Padawan61
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 346
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Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/6/2012 11:58:00 AM
If never married ... no kids ... is a red flag, then divorced 3 times with kids from 3 partners is a green "good-to-go" flag then??
 Indysweetpea2001_
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 347
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/6/2012 5:18:40 PM
At least the person who was married 3 times is not a commitment phoebe and a loner. To each his own I say. Quit judging other people and worry about yourself.
 ARIESLOOKING192150
Joined: 3/21/2012
Msg: 348
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/6/2012 5:47:34 PM
I don't mean any of this to be ugly. It's just the truth. I got married in 93. My divorce was final in 2000. For five years after my divorce I didn't want to date anyone. I was a wreck. I married a hard down idiot that made my life he11. Once I got free of her I didn't want to jump right back in the pan with someone else. I needed to be free for a while. I needed to heal and let my mind rest. I needed to decide what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I finally decided around 2005 to start dating again. In the past seven yrs I've dated a good many. But no one I would want to hitch my wagon to.

There has been some women that were OK. Just no "click". Also, the vast majority had a few to many screws loose for me. A few to many problems that I couldn't ignore. (EXAMPLE) X HUSBAND STILL LIVES WITH HER, Now, Being married for six years to a woman who turned out to be one of the nuttiest women I've ever known in my life, Why hitch my wagon to any other woman that's nuttier? I hate to say it, It's just the truth. Most of what I have met over the past seven years have been just a little to "out there" for me. With that being said that's why I'm still single. Everyone has there own idea of "normal" I haven't found my idea of normal yet. Not sure I ever will.

Just because someone stays single for a long time shouldn't be a red flag. The right way to look at to me is, We are using our heads where maybe the last time we didn't and caused our selves great pain. I'm not going to hitch my wagon to another idiot just so I don't have to be alone. Now I take my time and find out what kind of person I'm dealing with before I get to deep with that person. If being smart where once I wasn't is a red flag, Throw em. At least this time I'm looking before I'm leaping.
 redsone
Joined: 3/17/2012
Msg: 349
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Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/6/2012 6:10:49 PM
I never looked at it as a red flag. In fact, the majority of my messages go to older/unmarried men, but don't get a response.
I can see where one would think 45 and unmarried are just picky.
 Padawan61
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 350
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Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/6/2012 7:49:01 PM
At least the person who was married 3 times is not a commitment phoebe and a loner

Quit judging other people

I would say it is very judgmental of you to imply that someone who has never married is a commitment phobic/loner.

Pot meet Kettle ... or Kettle meet Pot, whichever kitchenware you happen to be.

It's arguable the person who has been divorced 3 times is the one with commitment issues. Or at the very least ... possess a fully paid membership at "Without the Wherewithal to Maintain a Marriage" Club.

Perhap those who have never married simply haven't found anyone worth marrying. I don't wanna give up my freedom for just anyone. And divorce is one of the most financially expensive deals in life. Contributing to a lawyer's bank book and becoming a divorce statistic at the same time isn't something I aspire to.
 ARIESLOOKING192150
Joined: 3/21/2012
Msg: 351
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/6/2012 11:07:24 PM

msg 401 i agree most women wouldn't agree with you but i do. with the economy, too many screws loose and raising kids in this world now is not a good idea. ppl turning around using guns on each other its too damn crazy. i have met idiots in the past who had no idea how to treat people or put their loved one first before anything else and its really sad. ppl should look into their childhood fix it b4 they get into relationships.


I don't think it's a childhood thing. I think it's more of a "I don't give a damn" thing. A lot of women now spout off about how they don't need a man. When you get right down to the brass tacks of it, They don't. Since so many now have it up in there mind that they don't need a man, Besides the fact that they come out and bluntly say it, They also give off the "Vibe" when a man is around them that they don't need him. With most of them being this way that's why they wind up alone. I mean, Really, Attitude like that isn't all that attractive. At least not to the men I know. And since they don't really need him, Why show him any respect? Why should they put him first above everyone else? We are in a throw away world. Men and women both throw each other away left and right. Most don't try to work things out anymore because the great majority have no idea what love really is. So since so many are this way, If a man is alone in his 40's or 50's, Why should that be a red flag? When it's really a sign of the times.
 IR_SomeBuddy
Joined: 7/14/2008
Msg: 352
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/6/2012 11:52:46 PM
Sometimes life events, tragedy and death play a role, also maybe they were more responsible by keeping it in their pants and not jumping at every potential relationship blindly. Perhaps they just haven't found "the one" yet or had other reasons for not marrying and having kids. People that assume things about someone without asking the other person straight up aren't giving them a fair shot and judging them before they get any facts.

I agree with Aries about the throw away society we seem to have, its now in all facets of our lives from consumerism to relationships.
 ARIESLOOKING192150
Joined: 3/21/2012
Msg: 353
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/8/2012 2:08:53 AM

why be in a relationship when both sides won't communicate and fix things? i never understood that.


It's like I've already said, SEX! People now for the most part try to build a relationship based on sex. Not trying to be vulgar. Just telling the truth as I've seen from 50 yrs of being alive. He's got a big dic%, She sucks better than any woman he has ever known. They start out bassassards. They start out looking for all the wrong things in the wrong order. For the most part, People don't get together anymore because they really love each other. If they did they would stay together. It wouldn't matter if he had a big dic% or if she can do things to him like no one else has. Another reason that's not a red flag. I know if it's happened to me countless times, It's happened to others. Men and women who move to fast towards the bedroom and want to start off the wrong way. Another reason I've never remarried. I know the right and the wrong way to build a relationship. It doesn't start with sex. It starts with real love and respect for each other.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 354
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/8/2012 3:43:42 AM
Finding another person to be respectable and giving the relationship time to grow into love are foreign ideas in today's world of instant gratification.
 meowkatt2012
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 355
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/8/2012 5:47:43 AM
Well I'll see next week. Lol. I have a date, not from here, w a 39 yr old. Never married. No kids. He "seems" like a decent guy & has cats like me. So at least well have an ice breaker since I get so nervous. I go on so few dates. I need a dating coach, really. I just got out of a relationship. OT: Is there a section here with first date hints?
 DreamsHopeLight
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 356
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/9/2012 1:07:53 PM
Major red flag. It's indicative of a possibly very selfish person.
 1lovely4u
Joined: 5/17/2012
Msg: 357
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/9/2012 2:02:50 PM
I can only speak from personal experience. I'm 55 yrs old professional woman, never married, no children. I was brought up by christian parents who instilled values, morals, character, strength, and made focusing upon being the best possible PERSON I can be THE most important acheivement in life.
That doesn't mean that I haven't experienced long term relationships. I have.
That means I am a sensual woamn who Yes..IS PROUD to be a virgin @ the age of 55!
I feel absolutely no attraction to a man who's purpose in live becomes being the first man that is intimate with me.
Quite frnakly who the heck cares!
I'm not sitting around waiting for "THE ONE' either!
I've met very nice men, enjoy many activities, help friends with challenges & live a very full single life.
I'm happy, won't settle for 2nd best &I am the one who lives with her choices; no one else!
I'm not lonely ..I'm lovely. Big difference!
This issue is a red flag for those who are looking for red flags. I wouldn't want to even begin a relationship with someone who was looking for a red flag so, I'm not the one who looses...they are!
Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear. Perhaps you need to ask yourself how you would define who you are if you remained single for the remainder of your days?
That's might help. If not then seriously, seek out a therapist you connect with and explore these issues.
Either way, I wish you joy, luck, great adventures.
 24karats
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 358
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History
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/9/2012 4:29:09 PM
I like men who have done none of the above please send them my way please! I am the reverse, there are men who were married
X2 have two sets of kids at the age of 42. Trust me, I run the other way for those men are a screwed up versus the ones who know themselves and want their needs are. Confident man is soooooo sexy. Men who run into a relationship at the drop of a hat because of societal pressures etc end up being a prey on women/ men who have their stuff together and look to us for stability since relationship 1 and 2 tanked before they see middle age!!!


Send me the picky smart single never been married childless guys!!!!!

Cheers 24k
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 359
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/9/2012 5:44:08 PM

dncw2012
I don't see it as a red flag at all, you either have been or have not been married, you either have children or you don't.
If a man tells me he's never had a relationship last over a week - red flag.
If he tells the above and that he has 5 kids accross the states - red flag.


funny you say that i see thoses as red flags as well..as i was saying in a earlier post there is 1 guy whom im still emailing with ocassionally on here mr.29yrs old has 7 kids in total with 3 different babies mamas an has been married twice..i couldnt make that all up if i tried,,but i guess the more so real reason why im still conversing with him is out of pure curiousty like HOW the hell?? an what the HELL?? really all that an you anit even 30yr yet!

something is way wrong with that picture the back wheels fell off the car along time ago but its still driving..
 Jaykool47
Joined: 5/2/2012
Msg: 360
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History
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/9/2012 5:50:08 PM
You sound like a good find my dear, don't despair i'm sure you will find someone.
 Padawan61
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 361
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History
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/9/2012 8:52:45 PM
Major red flag. It's indicative of a possibly very selfish person

If that's so, then someone who is divorced multiple times with kids from different partners ... but on the lam for child support payments ... is the epitome of selflessness??
 Indysweetpea2001_
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 362
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/9/2012 9:20:39 PM
Child support is based on the policy that both parents are obliged to financially support their children, even when the children are not living with both parents. For example I have custody of my children because the father was abusive and he receives visitation. Therefore, I am providing most of the child's needs for shelter, food, clothing, entertainment, school and sports activities. I am also taking responsibility for most of my time to be spent in parenting the children. I am providing the emotional support, physical care, or spiritual support. No one is on the lam so to speak, the court is making things fair and equitable for the parents to continue to take care of the child as it is both of their responsibility to do so. I am doing wayyyyy more than he ever has since the birth of my children. You think you get a divorce and you can walk away and no longer take care of the child? Maybe that happens in Asia but not here. I actually agreed to less money than Indiana law decreed I should have to support my kids. Not everyone is like the people on TV and media. Most are very different.
We learn something with every relationship we're in. No one would argue that the older you get, the harder it is to compromise. It is. So if you marry young and you compromise together, you get used to that. Someone who has made it to 40 without having to make those compromises and learn and grow with someone would likely be much more rigid in their thinking. That is just my opinion. Maybe no one has found you worth getting married to either...
 Tnsweetheart68
Joined: 4/21/2012
Msg: 363
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Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/10/2012 6:15:20 AM
A lot of single mothers think if you are over a certain age and don't have children it must mean you don't like them. This is not always necessary true. I am a single mom of 3 only 2 live at home, but eveytime I start talking to a gentleman and he finds out I still have 2 children at home they run. You just need to let a lady know up front that circumstances did not come your way to have children but you like them and have no problem dating someone that does have children. Hope this makes sense to you!!
 ARIESLOOKING192150
Joined: 3/21/2012
Msg: 364
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 8/10/2012 6:50:15 PM

A lot of single mothers think if you are over a certain age and don't have children it must mean you don't like them. This is not always necessary true. I am a single mom of 3 only 2 live at home, but eveytime I start talking to a gentleman and he finds out I still have 2 children at home they run.


Don't take this as a personal hit. I'm just being honest.
What causes a lot of men to run when you tell them you have kids at home is the facts, For a lot of men it's not the fact that they dislike kids, Most know they can't compete for you attention when it comes to your kids. He is going to be last on the totem pole. For some men they have already raised their kids. They had to put up with being the last thought about for 18 or more years. Now, They want theirs.

A lot of men don't want to have to deal with "daddy"/momma issues. What I'm talking about here, I hate to say it, But it's truth, Some people have no idea how to raise kids. They have raised big mouthed, over bearing, disrespectful a$$ holes that think they can talk any way they please to whom ever they please. I've actually had several different women's kids talk to me in a way that I would never allow my kids to talk. And when I jumped back at them for talking to me in such a disrespectful manner, Instead of these two people who brought this little bit of he11 into the world doing anything to straighten this little person out, I get jumped on by both of them. No man will put up with that. That's why most men will run when they find out you have kids at home. You may have good kids. A lot of men will not take a chance on it though. They have been burned enough. I know I have.
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