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 smiley_1946
Joined: 4/28/2009
Msg: 180
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?Page 6 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
I have dated men that were never married and never had kids...and I don't feel that they know much about life! They don't know how to share or know whats it's like to be with a woman on the day to day...they also don't know anything about children...
They are set in their ways because the only life they know is their own little world of living alone with themselves...and it is very hard for them to fit you in their world!!!
So to me, it is a major "RED" flag...I expiercened the men who fit in this category!!!
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 181
view profile
History
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/15/2010 10:55:36 AM
If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 182
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/15/2010 11:28:44 AM
Too many divorces, not enough divorces, too many kids, not enough kids, too young, too old, too tall, too short, too big, too small, too outgoing, too introverted, too quiet, too loud, too lazy, too driven, too frugal, too materialistic, too selfish, too selfless, etc,etc,etc....We all have preferences in what we are looking for in a mate and all these preferences could be called red flags. The point most open minded people are trying to make is don't prejudge others. We all have different wants, needs and preferences and it is everyone's choice how much they want to limit thier options based on thier preferences . Personnally I see never married no kids as a bonus rather than a liability.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 183
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/15/2010 11:43:55 AM
I guess I shouldn't be surprised by some of the responses. After all, there are people on this site that use astrology to determine the viability of a match...
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 184
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/15/2010 12:17:18 PM
There are also many people on this site looking for a happy medium or possibly a smiling clairvoyant - sorry old joke
 free_pizza
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 186
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/15/2010 12:39:40 PM
The lengths that some people will go to find ways to make dating so difficult is kind of amusing. I remember back when dating used to be a fun way to get to know someone. And decisions on whether to continue dating someone were based on actual information and interaction. But I digress.....

It seems that those who like to use the most generalizations to exclude someone are probably the least compatable with me. So I guess that it all does really work out in the end.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 187
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/15/2010 12:43:07 PM

Giving birth can also cause major complications in some women.

Including death. Even in industrialized nations with excellent health care, women do die in or just after childbirth. It is simply one of the inherent risks. Not common - about 600 a year in the U.S. - but a real risk.

I never wanted to bear children myself, for a variety of reasons, the biggest one being overpopulation. When people are fewer, we are more valued, among other benefits.

However, if in a sufficiently stable position to do so, and with the right partner, I would be very happy to adopt. Perhaps the woman who didn't want to risk messing up her body would also adopt. To conclude that she is selfish because she does not want to physically bear children strikes me as thoroughly irrational.

So, to topic: No kids is definitely not a red flag, in my opinion.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 188
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/15/2010 2:51:10 PM
Animal lover your case sounds a bit like looking for work. It's easier to find a job when you have one and the longer you have been out of work the more likely it is for employers to find your skills out of date or somehow irrelevant. In both cases life lessons and personal growth happen outside the institutional boundries
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 189
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/15/2010 3:34:04 PM
I have noticed a trend in this thread that is enlightening. I wasn't sure, so I went back and skimmed through all the posts. I can not find one man that has said this is a red flag for them. It seems to be much more important to women. Has anyone else noticed this, or am I mistaken? If I'm correct, why do you think this is?
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 190
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/15/2010 3:41:22 PM
My experience has been that at least 90% of the men I have met in the last 5 years see my never married state as more than a red flag. It seems to stop them from getting to know me at all. Maybe my age and location have something to do with it. I am glad that most of the men on this forum do not see it as a red flag, and sorry that the women seem closed minded to dating the fine men who just happen to not have been married or fathered children.
 CoolBreezez
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 191
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History
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/15/2010 6:29:05 PM
Found one guy in here that had a problem with it


<div class="quote">I have been married twice and have one son. The only thing that raises a red flag for me is when a woman already has kids and does not want anymore since I want to expand a family of my own. Also, the women who are to selfish to ever bring a kid into this world. I actually had someone tell me that she did not want children because it they would mess up her body.[/unquote]

But this fellow has his reasons- he wants some more kids. But again- finding fault with someone who doesn't.

Myself I was almost 40 when I got out of my long term and was still thinking about kids but most of the women I met were "been there and done." So for me now that horse has spit the bit, left the barn and hit the glue factory. But it would still be nice to meet someone right for me.

Now- IMHO- you marry someone because you love them first and then come the kids- maybe a tad idealistic but kids should be raised within a good relationship. You just don't go out looking to find a warm body for an incubator. That's azz backwards and does more harm than good.

Edit- BTW go over to the "Over 45 thread" and see what women think of older guys with small kids. The red flag brigade strikes again-LOL- there's just no winning on here!
(Raises white flag and retreats behind screen)
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 192
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/15/2010 6:34:08 PM

My experience has been that at least 90% of the men I have met in the last 5 years see my never married state as more than a red flag. It seems to stop them from getting to know me at all.


I can totally see myself running into a lot of problems, once I reach my mid 30s. Tsk tsk tsk.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 193
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/15/2010 10:12:01 PM
I noticed that men saw my never married state as a red flag when I was about age 40 or so.
 RONOFASI
Joined: 11/13/2010
Msg: 194
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History
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/12/2012 10:32:41 PM
I AM 50+ AND HAVE NEVER BEEN MARRIED

I HAVE HAD SEVERAL WOMEN WHO WANTED TO MARRY ME

I DID NOT MARRY ANY OF THEM BECAUSE I KNEW THEY WERE NOT RIGHT FOR ME

I KNOW IT IS BETTER NOT TO MARRY THE WRONG PERSON AND END UP DIVORCED

THE NEVER BEEN MARRIED PERSON IS EITHER NOT MARRIAGE MATERIAL OR
HE KNOWS WHAT HE WANTS AND IS JUST WAITING FOR THE RIGHT PERSON

PEOPLE OVER 30 WHO HAVE NEVER BEEN MARRIED WILL USUALLY MAKE
EITHER A GREAT SPOUSE OR A LOUSY SPOUSE USUALLY NOT IN BETWEEN

I WOULD NOT EVEN WANT TO MARRY A PERSON WHO HAD BEEN DIVORCED

DIVORCED PEOPLE ARE MUCH MORE LIKELY TO GET DIVORCED AGAIN IF THEY REMARRY
 ShelbySask4friend1
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 195
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/13/2012 12:39:59 AM
If you consider it a problem maybe it is...Though it just be a smart person that has yet to get divorced and kept his sperm to himself,lol...
 catfa51
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 196
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/13/2012 3:49:37 AM
I'm in the same boat and it's like this. You haven't taken that plunge and failed like so many others have. It's held against you that you haven't made the same mistake many have and you get crap for it. I've had plenty of friends tell me stuff like this and I refuse to date of marry someone when I know it won't work out!
 cpu3472
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 197
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 11:45:32 AM
Think about it this way, how many chances for one get to meet some one on 45 yrs. And you have to say, there so many crazy immature people. People with anger issues and things of that nature. So how is it that some one who is older than 35 has not met someone and had kids? This says many things; selfish, other person is never good enough, has issues with commitment, too high standards meaning no one will ever meet their expectations. List can go on. But that's just Me, really someone could not find someone that would be worthy of having a baby with or just thinking of themselves? Something is not right. but that's just me.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 198
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 12:39:31 PM

Think about it this way, how many chances for one get to meet some one on 45 yrs.


Probably quite a few.


And you have to say, there so many crazy immature people. People with anger issues and things of that nature.


Been on here long enough to see a *lot* of those. ... and yes, in "real life" as well for that matter.


So how is it that some one who is older than 35 has not met someone and had kids? This says many things; selfish, other person is never good enough, has issues with commitment, too high standards meaning no one will ever meet their expectations.


Ah, so let me get this straight so I don't get it wrong... they must be selfish, commitment-phobic, too high standards/nobody is good enough (you said essentially the same thing twice there didn't you?), because they should have rushed off and married, and popped out a kid or more, with one of those "crazy immature people, with anger issues and things of that nature" that you mentioned there are "*so many*" of, just so they wouldn't get put on a list as a "never married, childless" person in the future??

Wouldn't rushing to marry and pop out a few kids with a "crazy immature person, with anger issues and things of that nature", just to say you've been married, make one crazy and immature?


But that's just Me, really someone could not find someone that would be worthy of having a baby with or just thinking of themselves? Something is not right. but that's just me.


Certainly is just you, first off some people really never wanted to have 'a baby' in the fist place, so finding someone "worthy of having a baby with" was never an issue... and shouldn't it have to do with "Love" first, and then thinking about babies secondary to that?? What exactly makes someone "worthy of having a baby with" anyways? Sounds a bit like turning her into a 'baby providing machine' for you rather than it being a mutual choice... which, um, sounds "selfish and immature" personally ("I want a baby, and she seems 'worthy'"?).
 Sierrasman
Joined: 7/20/2009
Msg: 199
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 12:44:03 PM
I'm one of those never married, no kids people. The right woman just never came along. But I look at it this way, I was smart enough not to shackle myself to someone I'm not compatible with like all of the divorced people did. Sometimes two, three or four times!!!!
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 200
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 1:01:34 PM
Being a divorced single parent is the biggest red flag I can think of. For the most part, people hate using their brain cells and require other people to make life decisions for them, which means mindlessly following the life script set out by others: marry your high school sweetheart, mindlessly breed for no reason, then get divorced. The next step is to whine about everyone of the opposite sex being horrible people-all 3.5 billion of them. People can't handle the few who actually do their own thinking and decision making. It totally confuses the robotic masses.
 nycblonde728
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 201
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 1:03:28 PM
Someone who hasn't married and hasn't had children shouldn't be seen as a red flag. To automatically assume there is something wrong with them; or they are selfish, commitment phobes or having over all personal issues, is a pretty outlandish judgement.

If we were going to go with that train of thought; I guess we could assume those with multiple kids and multiple marriages/baby daddys are impulsive, irrational and need someone in their life in order to feel validated. That they think of themselves as failures unless they reproduce.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 202
view profile
History
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 1:09:40 PM
It is not complicated peeps. If a woman accuses me of being a red flag because I have never married and I don't have children that is a good problem to have. It means that woman is a red flag and I should run the other direction. I probably would be tempted to send a thank you card for avoiding such a train wreck.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 203
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 1:16:04 PM

Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?



.......
......
Gay or lesbian?


 Atomic_Twat_Muffin
Joined: 6/8/2012
Msg: 204
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 1:18:46 PM
I hope that me never being married and no kids does set off some red flag for some people. It will be a good indication of who I should stay away from. Yes, HUGE RED FLAG. Knowing how to use birth control and avoiding a divorce. Put me on an island with the other misfit toys please.
 ComplekCity
Joined: 1/17/2011
Msg: 205
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 1:24:41 PM
Yes, it means you're INSANE !

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RUN !!!!!!!!!

IT MIGHT BE CONTAGIOUS !!!!!!!!!!!!
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