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 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 206
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?Page 7 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
I hope that me never being married and no kids does set off some red flag for some people. It will be a good indication of who I should stay away from. Yes, HUGE RED FLAG. Knowing how to use birth control and avoiding a divorce. Put me on an island with the other misfit toys please.


It's nice when they self-filter, isn't it?
 Atomic_Twat_Muffin
Joined: 6/8/2012
Msg: 207
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 1:37:29 PM

It's nice when they self-filter, isn't it?

Absolutely. Makes you wonder though. If not having kids or been married is a red flag, what is being married multiple times and having lots of kids by all different people? There's some guy that has over 30 kids in the news in the last month or so. Not a red flag at all. But having no kids/no marriage is horrible. We non-kid/marriage types really need to have some kind secret charm or sign language so we can spot each other out in the wild. I think it should be "pull my finger?" cause that's probably why we're single to begin with.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 208
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 1:44:05 PM

There's some guy that has over 30 kids in the news in the last month or so


It's not a red flag, it's a tactic; it's called "comfortable retirement at a latter date"..........


 playfulpete
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 209
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 4:01:16 PM
I guess there are a lot of stupid people out there for not being married.That includes me,i am trying to figure out how becouse we have never been married makes us stupid, angry and none commital.It raises a big red flag when i hear people talk like the way they do.
 ForumsGee
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 210
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 4:31:28 PM
Im working with a guy who is 55 and absolutley gorgeous..he's never been married and I dont think has kids.. RED FLAG! ..remember I said he's gorgeous with Robert Redford movie star looks, great shape, great personality etc., etc., so yes Big Red Flag (no he's not gay either)
 BigSwede34207
Joined: 5/18/2012
Msg: 211
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 4:39:07 PM
I say .. the BIG RED ONE would be anyone that would name themselves a CLOWN FISH and thinks that her farts in her panties are WHISPERS !

"""" The Clownfish: You found me, now what's your other 2 wishes """"" ....and it is .... what ARE your other 2 wishes ! ..lol ...;-))
 laughingatliberals
Joined: 10/11/2011
Msg: 212
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 4:41:44 PM

Im working with a guy who is 55 and absolutley gorgeous..he's never been married and I dont think has kids.. RED FLAG! ..remember I said he's gorgeous with Robert Redford movie star looks, great shape, great personality etc., etc., so yes Big Red Flag (no he's not gay either)


I don't see this as a red flag........However he could very easily be considered a genius! It took me awhile but after having raised my children and two divorces...........marriage has as much appeal as going to prison.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 213
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 5:03:40 PM
I will probably get shot down for this, but in my experience the reason that I tend to shy away from guys who have never had kids, is the lack of understanding of the place my kids have in my life. When the kids were younger, I dated a few guys who never had kids, but were child rearing experts and spent a lot of time telling me how to raise my kids. Funny thing was that the guys with kids weren't nearly as full of "good" advice.

Now that the kids are grown, the only man that I dated without kids, resented if I didn't always put him first, such as the time I cancelled a date because my daughter had hurt her ankle and I went to take care of her. His response was she is a grown up, can't she take care of herself. So for me not so much a red flag as a need to make clear that the kids are still near if not on the top of the priorty list.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 214
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 5:42:38 PM
~~~~~~~~~
Kids were mentioned, because they are my reason for never having been in an LTR. Overwhelming amount of women have them, and I don't date them.
~~~~~~~~

So,.. you don't date single mothers.. ok.. so how are they then the reason for YOU not having a LTR? If you don't date them.. and you date.. then we can only surmise that the reason you don't have a LTR has something to do with yourself. Unless of course you just don't date period, which one can surmise many things from that statement as well. but as you posted.. you do date..soooo.. it comes back to YOU.

To to answer OP: No.. not being married and being child-free is not a red flag.. having never had a long term, committed relationship is.
 playfulpete
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 215
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 6:02:49 PM
What does being in a serious relationship mean? Does it mean you can,t commit NOT.I know people who have been in commited relationships before and they have been married two and three times...real mature.I am not afraid to commit to a relationship at all.If i get labeled a bad person for not ever being married or forhildre not having kids so be it.Being married to me means forever,thick or thin,good and bad.Just becouse a person has been married doesn,tmake them a better person and anyone can have kids
 playfulpete
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 216
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 6:17:59 PM
Thats right who are we to judge a person who has been in a few relationships but people don,t seem to mind judging people who have never lived together or been married or have kids so maam please don,t judge me for not having a child or lived with anyone or married.Who are you or any one else here to say waht kind of person i am or anyone else that has,t been married
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 217
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 6:20:44 PM
I never really lived with someone either.. but was with a man for 4 years and another for 3.. the first guy did sorta live with me.. at my mothers for a short while.. but he's also the reason for most of things on my "red flag" list. lol..

Playful pete don't worry.. maybe you're my prince? you're not a felon are ya?? lol
 playfulpete
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 218
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 6:31:07 PM
@confuzzeled4ever...yes i am a felon,i stole candy from my neice.She didn,t need the candy...LOL.Just like people put up red flags for people who have never been married and no kids.There are people who will say that being married multipal times is a sign of not being commited
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 219
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 6:31:37 PM

Hmmm. So I could tell a FWB, 'lets make it serious' and technically I've had a relationship. I could also get a FWB pregnant, then technically I've had a kid. Those will make me dateable, right?


Overall, it's my position that each and every person has the entitlement to make their own decisions about what constitutes a "red flag".

However, there are people in this world-IMO- that "becoming dateable" would require passing from this plane and being re-incarnated as a waterlily... or something.
Cindy O
 Bazinga_42
Joined: 1/10/2012
Msg: 220
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 7:43:00 PM

I'm 45 and have never married and never had kids.
Things just never worked out for me in this matter.
So why is it, when this info is revealed a red flag goes up?
I use to think this would play to my advantage, but after turning 40 I could see the table had been turned.
Any thoughts?


I don't understand how this would be a red flag either. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion though. I personally feel like if you are over 40, never married, and without children, that would show that you are a true romantic that will not settle. It shows that you have been waiting for the perfect person to experience these things with. I am only 28 and a lot of girls my age have already been divorced with kids. I think too many people rush into having a family. I am not saying I won't date a women that has been in a failed marriage or has kids from a previous relationship. If we connect and see a future together, I will completely disregard their history. I do look at women that have never been married without kids first though, because I feel as though they may have a similar look at marriage and kids as I do, in that we would both feel that we want to be very, very, very sure we will be together for the long haul.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 221
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/14/2012 8:03:43 PM

The poster above makes one of my points. Her kid comes first. Her kid is not my kid, so I couldn't care less. I'm gonna be second place, I'll put her second place as well...to my dog, car, buddies, or whatever. THEN, we'd be even. But, obviously we wouldn't get anywhere.


And this makes my point, never ever said that the man was going to be second, said the man needed to understand that he couldn't always be in first place and in my experience men in my age range without kids, don't undertand that. It is not a competition where only one person can win but I guess to some it seems that way.

My job is also going to come first sometimes, it is all a matter of priorties. I am not saying that it is a red flag or that I am judging other because of lifestyle choices, just saying that I would be a little more cautious of a man with no kids.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 222
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/15/2012 3:35:01 AM
I like the way you think Blueceleste,
That's exactly what I'm working on in my life, is improving it for me. Don't know why society thinks just because we're over 25 years old or so ( just guessing here ) Society says go out get married, and have kids. Yes I would like to marry someday and maybe even have kids. But right now is not that time, I am concentrating on a possible career change and improving my lifestyle. And I would rather be happily single and dating or in a relationship. Than miserable and UNHAPPY in a marriage that was not meant to be.
 TheOrator
Joined: 4/18/2012
Msg: 223
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/15/2012 11:10:03 AM
I've spent most of my adult life getting a college education, working my way up the corporate ladder, living a minimalist lifestyle so I can save for the future, and making lifestyle choices to keep both my body and mind healthy. Except for bills I currently have no needs and if I were to start a family in the next 3 - 5 years I would have no problem keeping our children clothed, fed, and educated up into adulthood, even on a single income.

If what the masses are saying is true I've squandered my 32 years, as I'm clearly not the type that would "commit." You would think that someone who has set goals for himself, achieves them and plans ahead for the future would be the ideal mate, but I guess not. It appears as though I'm doomed to be single for the rest of my life, wallowing in the obscurity of my thinking ahead and seeing the big picture :)
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 224
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/15/2012 11:15:46 AM
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?Page 12 of 12 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)


Huge red flag. He's a demon toad from Hell that dates women and chops their bodies to pieces.
Life experience and different choices, not to mention simply luck, or lack of finding sane partners (probably because he was dating on POF...) makes someone like this someone to avoird like the Plague.....

...
...
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 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 225
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/15/2012 6:22:53 PM

If what the masses are saying is true I've squandered my 32 years, as I'm clearly not the type that would "commit."


You are still young. There is a big difference between a 32-yr-old who had focussed on his education and career and 45-yr-old who is still not married and has no children.

Again like many other things, these are not judgments just personal choices.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 226
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/15/2012 6:51:14 PM
Some people choose not to have children or it just doesnt happen. Should be no stigma there. Better than having children you dont want. As for not being married, again it is a choice usually. If a person has had other long term relationships then there should be no red flag.
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 4/20/2009
Msg: 227
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/15/2012 9:13:51 PM
In my experience, never married with no kids = commitment phobic. It's not a red flag; it's a STOP SIGN.

Another STOP SIGN is currently separated. "You're MARRIED," I reply.

"How long have you been divorced?" I ask. "Have you had a serious relationship since your divorce?" These are important questions. I'm not willing to be the rebound girlfriend dealing with crazy-making behavior.

Why waste my time?
 DallasSBF
Joined: 4/14/2012
Msg: 228
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/15/2012 10:18:35 PM
Really IF you are your 40's never been married then I am not interested. I understand that stuff happens but I get the feeling they are looking for perfection and I can not live up to that. Waste of time and energy if you ask me.
 johndaluvr
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 229
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/15/2012 11:15:34 PM
I never married and have no kids...first think one should think is..that person may have been careful when having sx with his or her partner(used protection)..or may have had abortions or gave to adoption ..if a woman..or they(guy or gal) just never ever had sex...about the marrige thin..coukd be many more reasons why a guy or gal never did marry..some just choose to live together ..for a long time and outlast some marriges..then end it..without a divorce..in my case....ehh...nevermind...point is..it shouldn' t be a red flag..more like a white or pink flag..cuz I've dated gals..with multille baby dadies..that's a red flag!!.although..some could have chosen to abort or give up to adoption..and continues getting pregnat..that's pretty sad..so are guys who recklessly impregnate women and disappear..so sad.:(
 wanted555
Joined: 2/18/2011
Msg: 230
view profile
History
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/15/2012 11:36:16 PM
what ? what did you say john? um sorry you lost me !! Dallas has a good point! funny john fit right into the space !lol! but really its hard to say im single and never been married but its cos i was shy and unconfident with the great guys and just let jerks in / but guys still ask me out im still shy / so no its not a red flag!! someones out there for you! just try not to attract the wierdos , they are too easy to find !! lol!
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