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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?      Home login  
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 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 176
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?Page 8 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
Some people prefer to not marry, which does not make them selfish or freaks or anything. Everyone does not want children, I have a niece who is probably the most giving person I have ever met, and she and her kind hearted husband do not want to have children. I always wanted to have children, but did not want to be a single parent, so in my own way grieved when my child bearing days were over without having married or become a mother, but life goes on. Many of us who have not married and had children are nice, wonderful humans, we have just not met our matches, and have learned to accept that we may be single all our lives.
 verityone
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 177
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Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/12/2010 5:14:19 PM
This is absolutely true.. we ARE all red flags.

According to whom?
According to what logic?
According to what barometer?

Speak for yourself, only.

There are people, nothing like you, at all.

i just wonder why someone hasnt been married or has kids by 45..

Why?
It's not mandatory.
Since when does having been married, and having procreated become such an important achievement?
Any moron can do those things.

Some got married, who never should have got married, in the first place.
Some have kids, who never should have even been allowed to.

Some were failures, as both a spouse, and a parent.

why wouldnt someone WANT kids ever?

Because they have a life worth not making sacrifices?

a man with no kids NEED a baby maker..

According to whom?
According to what logic?
According to what barometer?

Speak for yourself, only.

There are people, nothing like you, at all.

or need to make it clear they NEVER want any.

Is there a pandemic of people, who are frauding others, into believing they want kids?

its not stereotyping.. its not me cutting anyone down!!..

A tad defensive, are we?...

its just scary .. that someone who has NEVER taken the leap.. (will they ever take a leap?)

How did you arrive to fear people who don't want to resemble you?
And how long have you had this fear?

im like this super easy going person..

Who said you weren't?
A tad defensive, are we?...

im like this super easy going person.. who deserves a NICE Wonderful human with a good heart.. (though im not ready to date yet this round)

What makes you believe that any of those things entitle you to anything, let alone what it is you desire?

Yeah - I am one of those failures too. Never married. No kids.
Im a big ole honkin red flag just waving away.

Im commitiment phobic-I was in a relationship for 15 years .
I have no children - I was educated in birth control while single.
Yeah - big ole red flag here.

Can you move it out of the way?...
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 178
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/12/2010 5:26:38 PM
yes, 45 with no kids, and no marriage shows lack of commitment.




Sooooo 45 divorced,possibly multiple times and a slew of kids in their wake shows commitment!!?? Really? If anything divorced shows failure.You failed at your marriage because you are no longer married.



Ray: I'll do it. Just a warning though. You won't be getting too much in the settlement. lol.



Oh that doesn't matter. If we can have a divorce under our belts then people with the crazy notion of being divorced shows you are good at commitment, will put away those dang red flags. ;)
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 179
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/12/2010 6:10:43 PM

i just wonder why someone hasnt been married or has kids by 45.. i cant have anymore.. and i dont want to. why wouldnt someone WANT kids ever?

a man with no kids NEED a baby maker.. or need to make it clear they NEVER want any.

its not stereotyping.. its not me cutting anyone down!!.. its just scary .. that someone who has NEVER taken the leap.. (will they ever take a leap?)


I don't understand. Are you afraid because you believe a man who hasn't had children is going to force you to have them against your will? Or are you afraid that someone who hasn't been married isn't going to want to marry you? On the one hand, you're worried that someone who hasn't had children is in a hurry to do it, and on the other you're worried that someone who hasn't been married will never do that. I don't understand what you base those conclusions on.


im like this super easy going person.. who deserves a NICE Wonderful human with a good heart.. (though im not ready to date yet this round)

in the end.. i will expect mr good heart.. and if none appear.. i will skip skip skip


I'm not sure what your sense of entitlement has to do with the topic. I am curious, though, how you know mr good heart won't skip skip skip...
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 180
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Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/12/2010 8:12:56 PM
This thread continues to crack me up! So many people have a time line on being average they really hate it when others don't follow a time line too.

Married w/ kids by 20-something, divorced w/ kids by 30-something=dating gold mine? WTF?

It's a shame there aren't statistics on broken engagements. Or can we count broken engagements/LTRs as divorces? Will that help? "It wasn't a break up, it was a divorce without lawyers."

Can I claim I am "divorced" by claiming I have divorced myself from reality?

And anyone with working reproductive organs can have kids, it doesn't mean much. Giving birth isn't a special skill or ability to bring to a relationship. OI! Heck children in school can make babies, doesn't mean they understand commitment.

But I guess since marriage isn't a life long binding contract to many, the predetermined time period lease of a marriage is the better option. After all if you were married and have become divorced, you didn't buy the cow, you just leased it. Kinda like a car...
 BigDaddyJinx
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 181
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Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/12/2010 8:54:32 PM

It's a shame there aren't statistics on broken engagements. Or can we count broken engagements/LTRs as divorces?

I had 1.5 broken engagements...I'm slightly ahead of the curve LOL. Lucky for me that's as close to divorce as I'll get
 CoolBreezez
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 182
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Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/12/2010 9:48:09 PM

I'm thinking, cool! No alimony payments, no child support payments, his time is his own so he can be spontaneous, no crazy ex to deal with...JACKPOT!


Well there ya go! Brings a few good things to the table doesn't it? Not to mention a few extra $$ not spent on something futile. And you girls can do this too- its OK in these times of equality. lol

But hey- who would want some slacker that took the easy way out like that and saw some sense to not marry and have kids in an obviously bad situation. Such a coward is not worthy of respect.

To each their own - but not everyone's life turns out the same. Maybe some didn't make the leap when they were young and foolish because they knew they were- young and foolish. Others- the right opportunity didn't knock- yet. But since your still alive there's always a chance another will.
 missleann
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 183
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Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/12/2010 9:48:46 PM
I really must be a red flag person then. I'm going to 31 on Monday, I still live with my parents. I've never been married or do I have any kids. Yes, I do have a job, and my own car, and pay for my own bills. I have people in my family that tell me they are going to set me up on a blind date, but never do.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 184
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/13/2010 4:44:07 AM
I must have multiple red flags, as I am 52, have not been engaged or lived with anyone, as living with someone is not for me (seems to work out for some people). Some of us who have not been married have either been engaged and knew it was not for the best so did not marry the person (people), or wise enough to end the relationships due to incompatibility before we became engaged. What gets me is we are supposed to be so open minded about dating divorced people, but they are so closed minded about dating us.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 185
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Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/13/2010 12:44:53 PM
why wouldnt someone WANT kids ever?



I did. It just didnt happen.

I think when it come to people like me-you really need to hear the
whole story before passing judgement.

My story is sad as I am sure most here who are over 40 are. It just
didnt happen. Not because I was commitment phobic, didnt want them,
couldnt find a good enough baby father etc etc...

By the time I was out of that long relationship without a commitment from
him or children, it was too late to start a family for me.

Life kept getting in the way. I put kids and marriage off with him. I thought
there would come a time- the time never came.

I really think some of you need to hear the person out first before really passing
judgement as to why they are in this situation. Not a bad situation - just thier
situation.


Can you move it out of the way?...


umm.... okay. LOL!!!
 verityone
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 186
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Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/13/2010 2:00:54 PM
Can you move it out of the way?...

umm.... okay. LOL!!!

Ta Da!

Now everyone can see how cute you really are...





**muttering to self** I really need to start charging money for this.....it's like shooting fish in a barrel.....
 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 187
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/13/2010 2:06:18 PM
Well I happen to like dating men without kids that have never been married.
To me it's a Yipee flag of freedom.
 CoolBreezez
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 188
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Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/13/2010 3:06:43 PM

it's like shooting fish in a barrel.....


That sounds like a good name/ concept for a dating site- maybe one for unmarried only?


I really need to start charging money for this.....


Better run to the patent office now....

 verityone
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 189
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Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/13/2010 3:29:15 PM
Better run to the patent office now....

Mehhh......I'm too busy having fun dating all the 'red flags' everyone else is tossing by the wayside.

Ever see how cute some of them are?
And talented?...

M E O W

I've got bigger fish to fry...

Or is that tuna?
Or chicken?...

Nevermind....
 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 190
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/13/2010 3:32:42 PM
Meow meow there are some sexy kittens out here that wanna play with good bad boys.

Chicken sweetness, it tastes like chicken...
 btj_rv
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 191
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/14/2010 4:41:23 AM
I actually thought about this the other day. It seems to be about important as is with your counterpart. There are several people that I know of that got married in their forties. I think it has been a societal expectation that a person marry and have kids in particular in the early to late twenties. Now since there has been a paradigm shift the ideal age for marriage and children has increased. Also it is said that the more educated a couple the more likely they are to stay married.
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 192
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/14/2010 4:55:08 AM

Meow meow there are some sexy kittens out here that wanna play with good bad boys.

Chicken sweetness, it tastes like chicken...


I think you'd wear Verity out Margo!
 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 193
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/14/2010 7:38:48 AM
Ha ha ha ha ha.....
I think I'd wear Verity and Zeke out,
but that could be a whole thread of it's own!
Thats why never married, never had kids men appeal to me.
No drama, and extra energy to spare!
 Jebby16
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 194
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Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/14/2010 8:45:08 AM
Someone on this post said,

----People that don't have kiddos haven't learned what it is to sacrifice to give your all to someone else, to do without so they can have what they want & need. They also haven't learned the art of compromising.----

Are you fcuking kidding me? How ignorant a statement is that? How does a childless man not know of sacrifice? According to you, man with no kids = uncompromising. Are you serious? Is this true of women that prefer not to bear children, also?

NEWS FLASH:
Kids aren't necessary for one to understand the "art of compromise" or what sacrifice means. You guessed it. I have no kids. But I have nieces and nephews. I've witnessed the sacrifices and limitless love my brother and sis have given these kids. Children for me may not be in the cards and that's ok.

Hopefully, you will teach your kids that just because someones is entitled to their opinion, it doesn't mean others will agree with it.

---Ay Vei...I need a
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 195
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Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/14/2010 9:05:06 AM
If its Red Flag. then I'm happy to be Red!

~sc~
 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 196
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/14/2010 10:13:41 AM
Wave that banner dude women like me are watching!!!!!

What I have learned from my children:
Most recently~ how to use my new Blackberry I would have never bought without daughter pressure.
Every time Im around~ how to hide my cash and credit cards.
In the past~ let them stay in jail, and pay for their own stupidity.
For the future~ spend all I have on me while Im still alive.

Dont get me wrong, I love my kids and they are my best friends. I just understand with the tribulations I have endured, parenthood comes with much more than most are willing to tolerate and thats OK.
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 197
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/14/2010 3:09:34 PM
I don't think having kids means you're sacraficing anything...and those that feel this way end up harbouring so much resentment towards their kids. Our kids didn't ask to be born, it was a selfish choice that we made to have children in order to make US feel better.

And like every other choice we make in life we should take responsibility for the outcome of that choice, will there be times that we need to sacrafice the brand new handbag to pay the school fees? Offcourse there will be! ...However one smile from your little one erases any joy that a handbag will ever bring. So although it may seem that we're sacraficing the materialistic things in life, we're being compensated by something far more rewarding.
 verityone
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 198
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Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/14/2010 3:23:47 PM

Verity, you have to stop frying fish. It's bad for you... too much cholesterol.

Sushi is my favorite, dude.

You need to start baking them or bbqing them.

I like it raw. I love the texture. I love it pink.

I don't think having kids means you're sacraficing anything...

Of course it is.
There's no denying that having dependents is a sacrifice. Having pets is one as well.

I helped raise young kids, for quite a while, and I did have to sacrifice lots.
I no longer have them, and have benefitted from the freedom, tremendously.

Being married is a sacrifice as well. I was (virtually) married for a long time as well.
Since having my freedom and complete autonomy, I've benefitted tremendously as well.

Being without both, has MAJOR plusses.

And not having BOTH, a former marriage, and children, has been a major plus in dating.

Less is more.

Classic.
 Mtown37
Joined: 7/9/2009
Msg: 199
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/14/2010 3:27:57 PM
I have been married twice and have one son. The only thing that raises a red flag for me is when a woman already has kids and does not want anymore since I want to expand a family of my own. Also, the women who are to selfish to ever bring a kid into this world. I actually had someone tell me that she did not want children because it they would mess up her body.
 34realwoman
Joined: 3/4/2010
Msg: 200
Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 3/14/2010 3:44:52 PM
Not necessary. One of my cousins didn't get married until he was 42. Nothing was wrong with him. He simply preferred to remain single when he was younger.
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