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Show ALL Forums  > Ontario  > I know a secret of someone I just broke up with...what to do?      Home login  
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 Canadian Buoy
Joined: 3/3/2010
Msg: 1
I know a secret of someone I just broke up with...what to do?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I have just recently broke up with someone whom I was deeply in love with. My problem is that she told me her families dirty little secret. It has been bothering very deeply ever since she told me about it, and I am not sure what I should do about it. It was about burning down their cottage to collect insurance money. Does this not involve arson and fraud? Her husband died last year, but his accompliss is still alive.
I am torn as to what to do because this as it was about 11 years ago. I hate people who take advantage of others for their own gain. What should I do????
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 2
I know a secret of someone I just broke up with...what to do?
Posted: 3/7/2010 5:44:39 AM
It's over, it's done, let it go.

There is nothing you can do, and it is best not to stress about it.
 photopilot1
Joined: 2/28/2007
Msg: 3
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I know a secret of someone I just broke up with...what to do?
Posted: 3/7/2010 5:49:37 AM
First off, even though the "relationship" ended, that is not an excuse to end the trust that should be part of a relationship.
Secondly, what you have is legally "third-party hearsay" and nothing more.
Thirdly, while I sure as hades don't support fraud/arson, you simply have no proof at all and it's not your position to run-and-tell. MYOB!!!! Nobody appointed you to sit in moral judgement on others.
Fourth. 11 years ago!!!! Let sleeping dogs lie. There likely isn't any physical proof even IF it were true, and as you state, one of the alleged conspirators is now dead. Absolutely nothing can come of this except the intentional inflicting of emotional pain and distress on your former partner. Is that what you really want to do? It's called revenge in my books and that simply won't do.
 MJ Preston
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 4
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I know a secret of someone I just broke up with...what to do?
Posted: 3/7/2010 9:16:10 AM
good lord! this been buggin you for the last 11 years...or since you broke up with her?

either way...get a hobby man....let it go!

 onefreeguy
Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 5
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I know a secret of someone I just broke up with...what to do?
Posted: 3/7/2010 9:50:59 AM

Message: I have just recently broke up with someone whom I was deeply in love with. My problem is that she told me her families dirty little secret. It has been bothering very deeply ever since she told me about it, and I am not sure what I should do about it. It was about burning down their cottage to collect insurance money. Does this not involve arson and fraud? Her husband died last year, but his accompliss is still alive.


The answer is simple. Include it in your memoirs to be published after your death. That way you can get it off your chest without you being labelled as a rat while you're still alive.

Who knows, someone might even turn it into a made-for-TV docudrama.

As for doing it right now - unless you have physical proof or an eyewitness willing to testify, consider how you will fund you defence to a slander lawsuit for accusing someone of a criminal act without any basis of proof other than something you claim the former wife of one of the alleged arsonists said to you. Then consider how credible you will look when you now come forward with that allegation.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 6
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I know a secret of someone I just broke up with...what to do?
Posted: 3/7/2010 9:57:09 AM

I hate people who take advantage of others for their own gain. What should I do????
So the very moment that she told yoiu her dirty little secret was when you broke up with her right? Otherwise, this whole situation makes you a hypocrite.
 mhinon
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 7
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I know a secret of someone I just broke up with...what to do?
Posted: 3/7/2010 5:54:22 PM
First off I agree with everyone on the "let it go" part as well as the "so much for being trustworthy" aspect.
From a practical standpoint, it was pointed out all you have is hearsay which at best will (if admitted at all) merely be "weighed" by a judge as to it's value.
Finally, although I can't be 100% sure of the time frames involved (your statement is hearsay in and of itself as well) but there may be a statute of limitations issue at hand rendering any input you might contribute entirely null, thus leaving you in the open even more empty handed than you might be now. Add to this the embarassment you risk exposing yourself to and I would hesitate to think any satisfaction could be held by you for your effort.
Short version: fahgeddaboutit and move on man!
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 8
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I know a secret of someone I just broke up with...what to do?
Posted: 3/8/2010 3:32:13 AM
Ok....To any posters that think it was ok for them to burn their cottage down and get away with it.........
No one on this thread is saying that arson is acceptable, that's not even a point of contention on this thread, it's that the OP is in a quandary as to how he should treat information given to him in confidence while in the relationship now that the relationship has dissolved.

Hmmmmm just smile the next time your insurance bill comes in!!! Don't complain!!!
I've never heard anyone complain about their insurance... I certainly don't. Small price to pay to know that I'm covered in the event of an emergency. Insurance is also not mandatory...

In the end it is over and done with!
^^^ Then oddly enough, you say the same thing as the others on this thread... hmmmmm... curiouser and curiouser...
 Canadian Buoy
Joined: 3/3/2010
Msg: 9
I know a secret of someone I just broke up with...what to do?
Posted: 3/8/2010 9:55:26 AM
OK PEOPLE......I ****IN' GET IT.....MY LIPS ARE SEALED!!!!
 Canadian Buoy
Joined: 3/3/2010
Msg: 10
I know a secret of someone I just broke up with...what to do?
Posted: 3/10/2010 5:25:19 AM
Actually, I ended the relationship because of it....no revenge at all.
 Canadian Buoy
Joined: 3/3/2010
Msg: 11
I know a secret of someone I just broke up with...what to do?
Posted: 3/10/2010 5:36:08 AM
It is about honesty, and the law......What was done was illegal. I ENDED IT BECAUSE OF THIS BEING TOLD TO ME......Geeeeeshh....me get a life....LMAO....I have a great life. I just don't think people should get away with these things. But I understand what most of have to say, and I agree with some of you. BUT, think about it before you start flapping off. I have nothing more to say on it.
Have a great life People! Thanks for the input. I will consider all. For those of you with the nasty comments....I wouldn't trust you either. Take care all!
 onefreeguy
Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 12
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I know a secret of someone I just broke up with...what to do?
Posted: 3/10/2010 10:05:21 AM

Posted By: Canadian Buoy on 3/10/2010 819 AM

Message: Actually, I ended the relationship because of it....no revenge at all.


In your original post you give no indication that she was a willing before-the-act co-conspirator in the deed.

Now you claim that you ended a relationship with the woman not because of what she did, but because of what her FORMER husband and another accomplice did?

Ok, sure thing. Whatever you say.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 13
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I know a secret of someone I just broke up with...what to do?
Posted: 3/11/2010 4:03:10 AM
My reason for not believing that this occurred at the time of break up is because the next time the OP came in, he yelled and stated that his lips are sealed.

Clearly, if the time and reason for the break up was when he first heard about the incident, then reporting it would certainly be the correct thing to do...

T'would indeed appear that my first impression of this was correct...
 ANGEL~EYES
Joined: 10/4/2007
Msg: 14
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I know a secret of someone I just broke up with...what to do?
Posted: 3/11/2010 9:10:28 PM

lol wow the dude asks for advice and some of you folks chew him up and spit him out ...wtg champs


nothing ever changes in these threads. i certainly wouldn't ask for advice around here
 Blakkardaberry
Joined: 2/7/2009
Msg: 15
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I know a secret of someone I just broke up with...what to do?
Posted: 3/13/2010 11:49:11 AM
11 years is probably way past the statue of limitation on this issue. If someone told you something in confidence it really should stay that way. This is not really about her values but your own. To unburden yourself of the guilt you feel over something you had nothing to do with. My advice is let it go like you let her go its no longer a part of your life and neither is she. Saying anything now won't accomplish anything anyways. All you really have is hearsay and conjecture no real proof. Last but not least what would it accomplish anyways?
 RERE1026
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 16
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I know a secret of someone I just broke up with...what to do?
Posted: 3/28/2010 4:20:40 PM
Funny how things change when one "breaks up"? Where is the loyalty and where was the sense of right? Time for an ethics class.
 blindfish
Joined: 11/16/2007
Msg: 17
I know a secret of someone I just broke up with...what to do?
Posted: 3/28/2010 10:38:57 PM
It's irrelevant.

Not only would it be hearsay as testimony, not only has it likely been investigated as far as it could, but there is no way of knowing she was telling the truth about it in the first place.

Stand on a bridge over a river and pour a cup of water on the upstream side. Not only is there a glaringly obvious point to it, but the ritual of doing it (or something similar) can be used to move on.

Let it go, there's not a single thing you can do about it that will make any difference.

Cheers
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