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Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 48
No sugar coatingPage 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Frankly, I'd like a man with a big D!ck couldn't resist
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 49
No sugar coating
Posted: 3/8/2010 1:07:38 PM

Your BF just wants to give you a piece of his mind, and every time.

What never ceases to amaze me, is that it's the people who have so little to spare who seem the most willing to do this.
Cindy O
Joined: 3/1/2007
Msg: 50
No sugar coating
Posted: 3/8/2010 1:25:45 PM
Honesty without compassion is brutality.
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 51
No sugar coating
Posted: 3/8/2010 2:07:19 PM
Playing catch-up, looks to me like Margo summed it up neatly, and I think the suggested solution should be workable as well.

I'd add only that temper tantrums and name-calling don't help anything. Indulging in that just creates a whole new problem. I'm a pretty firm believer in saying something like, "I'm sorry, I need a break," and leaving for a while (maybe to take a walk, or go exercise) if tempted to lash out in that fashion - it seems to work for most people.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 52
No sugar coating
Posted: 3/8/2010 2:17:51 PM
It's possible to disagree without being shouted down/"convo mauled", only if the other person is willing to afford you the same respect that you're giving him by listening to his opinion... which doesn't sound like the case in this instant.

Being with someone who respects me as an equal to him, who would listen to what I had to say and disagree politely when necessarily, would be a priority for me - being patronized or talked to rudely is something I don't enjoy...
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 53
No sugar coating
Posted: 3/8/2010 2:24:49 PM
Ray of ray is mostly right, she just left out the critical word "MANY". As in, MANY people who claim they are into being "brutally honest" are actually just mean, self righteous, pompous ,and selfish. Not all of them.

No I left it out because people who call themselves brutally honest are all mean. The ones who claim not to be mean are also delusional.I am honest with people yet I don't tear them down.If someone ask me my opinion I will give it to them. There is a big difference when asked "what do you think of my new boyfriend", and saying "Wtf are you doing with that lame douche bag.God how can you stand listening to his idiotic drivel.I think I would shoot myself if I was the one with him". You can say the truth without saying all of that. For example "He is not someone I would ever date.I don't personally find him attractive,but if he truly makes you happy and is good to you then I am happy for you".
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 55
view profile
No sugar coating
Posted: 3/8/2010 5:15:11 PM
I thought the snookie bear was a lil over the top, lol.

When people avoid doing something that is readily doable and not doing it will have a negative impact on their life... they usually have an emotional issue attached to it, and usually it is the emotional issue they are trying to avoid. It's not at all rational.

Figure out what the emotional attachment is, move it aside, plug your nose and do what needs to be done.

^^ My cheap advise.
Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 57
No sugar coating
Posted: 3/8/2010 9:02:59 PM
"snookie bear" and "chubby lil burrito"..are y'all serious??

and the title of this thread is "no sugar coating" ?
 Tammy the cat
Joined: 10/17/2008
Msg: 59
No sugar coating
Posted: 3/8/2010 10:10:31 PM
Age doesnt matter,you both talk via forums who cares.You both still in love,thats half the battle.You both need to learn the art of communication an learn how to really listen to each other,really listen an think a bit before respondingf.You are both different with 'things' or ways that seem to annoy the other at times.In the big skeam of things just how big an important are these things?Any a real deal breaker relationship wise?Think you two,with a bundle of joy not far away/you take the person,good points and annoying an learn to compromise,ignore (worth getting ulcers over?)or live with.Everybody has their own way of doing things,not necessarily one being more right than another.You value his opinion but dont agree with something he says?Say you love him,respect his opinion but could he explain his reason a bit more as you dont get it/no two minds think the same way.You ask for an opinion,he gives his,you can digest it but you still have a choice as to act on it or ignore it an dont act on it.Just close the topic quietly.He brings the same things up repeatly?To yourself note,what are these repeated arguements about,what bugs him,is there something i can change here?It takes two to create fights/ arguements,it takes two to be proactive in dealing with problem areas of any relationship in trying to improve things,situations or pet annoyances in personality/ways that upset the calm of a relationship.Joint effort,not im right/their wrong.ABove all,respect for each other,in the way you treat each other overall/attitude.No one is perfect.Good luck to you both an wish you both a long lasting,loving successful relationship.Get some councilling if you cant work it outbetween yourselves.Talk an listen to each other,dont yell.
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 60
view profile
No sugar coating
Posted: 3/9/2010 1:09:55 PM
Can we say twin trolls? Both threads, OP paints an azzhat, boyfriend responds to thread, sounding oh so unlike the situation described in the OP and the couple rides off into the sunset after amusing themselves a wee bit in the forums.

If any of this is true, Cowboy, just learn to write the checks.

Margo is correct, however, if there really is an issue, most often people aren't really fighting about the subject matter of a fight, it is underlying emotional issues that may or may not have to do with the other half of the couple.
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