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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?      Home login  
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 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 101
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?Page 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
THEY HAVE SEEN HOW EASY CASUAL SEX CAN BE AND THINK THAT WE ARE HERE TO ACCOMODATE THEM.


Hello man hater,

Its only as easy as women allow it to be.


IN SHORT IT TAKES TIME, MONEY, INTEREST, COMPASSION THINGS MEN GENERALLY LACK.


Then why are you even here man hater?


ANY MAN THAT IS ONLY LOOKING FOR SEX IS NOT WORTHY OF HAVING SEX WITH A QUALITY WOMAN.


Let me give you a newsflash man hater. EVERY man wants sex. Why else would we be here? Let me also give you some breaking news man hater, if your a woman on this site, YOUR looking for sex also. Its all a matter of what type your looking for.

My final comment for you man hater.

I can just imagine what fun you would be on a a date with your thinking. I bet your just one happy go lucky chick when a man takes you out. A big bundle of joy. Also, your profile is one of the many that say the SAME thing that every profile does on here. I like family, I hate liars...bla bla bla...

Good luck to you man hater, you will need it...
 High_Contrast
Joined: 6/1/2009
Msg: 102
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/23/2010 7:15:28 AM

THEY HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION TO THEIR GIRLFRIENDS, TAKE HER OUT, BUY HER THINGS, IN SHORT IT TAKES TIME, MONEY, INTEREST, COMPASSION THINGS MEN GENERALLY LACK.


Princess much?

Basically in reading the above, if a man can: Spend money on you and put up with your bullsh!t, they've "earned" the right to have sex with you? Sad.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 103
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/23/2010 7:41:54 AM

But my question is why are some men all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?

Perhaps it's because they want to have sex without all of the rest that goes along with having a girlfriend. That seems more honest than pretending otherwise just to get laid. Now, here's a question for you. Why is it that some women are all for having a boyfriend, but not for having sex buddies?
 MySpoonIsTooBig!
Joined: 2/20/2010
Msg: 104
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/23/2010 9:40:06 AM

BECAUSE MEN ARE SWINE. THEY HAVE SEEN HOW EASY CASUAL SEX CAN BE AND THINK THAT WE ARE HERE TO ACCOMODATE THEM. THEY HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION TO THEIR GIRLFRIENDS, TAKE HER OUT, BUY HER THINGS, IN SHORT IT TAKES TIME, MONEY, INTEREST, COMPASSION THINGS MEN GENERALLY LACK. SO A RELATIONSHIP IS VERY CHALLENGING FOR THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE "SPECIAL" OF AT LEAST THATS WHAT THEY SAY WHEN THEY TRY TO CONVINCE YOU TO SLEEP WITH THEIR DEFECTIVE ASSES. ANY MAN THAT IS ONLY LOOKING FOR SEX IS NOT WORTHY OF HAVING SEX WITH A QUALITY WOMAN. AND WE KNOW THIS AND THAT IS WHY THERE ARE SO MANY OF THEM OUT THERE, BECAUSE LOOKING IS ALL THEY CAN DO.

Is anyone else getting a major sense of angst from this post? Show of hands?

I, for one, cannot BELIEVE that some lucky guy hasn't snatched you up by now, superhotmama713. Insanity!

Some advice: Try dialing the anger back down from 17, drop the "victim" mentality, & get a clue that plenty of women do exactly the same thing to men. You're not all sweetness & sunshine, you know.

That, & stop yelling. You appear to be a grown-up, so keep your "voice" down. The CAPS LOCK button can be found on the far left of your keyboard. Use it.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 105
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/23/2010 9:51:29 AM

BECAUSE MEN ARE SWINE. THEY HAVE SEEN HOW EASY CASUAL SEX CAN BE AND THINK THAT WE ARE HERE TO ACCOMODATE THEM. THEY HAVE TO...

If that's the case, do what I've always done - date women.
 lealion
Joined: 1/22/2010
Msg: 106
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/23/2010 9:55:55 AM
i have no problem with a friend with benefits but why do some guys have a problem with going and having a drink with the girl or going to a movie also.theres guys who want sex and are out the door in 5 minutes.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 107
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/23/2010 9:56:07 AM

On the dating scene, I have come across a few guys that just wanted a sex buddy. That is not in my interest.


There's your answer. Everyone has different interests.

It's good that you know your interests- just keep looking for the ones who have similar interests.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 108
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/23/2010 10:57:03 AM

i have no problem with a friend with benefits but why do some guys have a problem with going and having a drink with the girl or going to a movie also.theres guys who want sex and are out the door in 5 minutes.


1... Because what you describe is a fcuk buddy not Friends With Benefits.
2... Because you're good enough to fcuk, but not good enough to date...
3... Because they don't want their wife or girlfriend or other FB's, FWB's to see you with them....
4... Because once they got fcuked, they have no interest anymore in you...
5... There's still time to get to the bar, and pick up another chick before the night is over....
 *closer
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 109
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/23/2010 11:28:43 AM
1... Because what you describe is a fcuk buddy not Friends With Benefits.
2... Because you're good enough to fcuk, but not good enough to date...
3... Because they don't want their wife or girlfriend or other FB's, FWB's to see you with them....
4... Because once they got fcuked, they have no interest anymore in you...
5... There's still time to get to the bar, and pick up another chick before the night is over..


Thanks for the "swine" definition! There's really no arguing that SOME MEN are truly heartless and only mature enough to handle Commitment Free/Sex Full relationships.

But it is funny how some men get all indignant as though women think ALL men are like this.Or better yet that some men aren't like this! LMAO~!
No need to defend 'pigs' if you aren't one!

I wonder what came first.....Men who expected free and easy sex or women who gave in out of desparation to be loved on SOME level by emotionally unavailable men.
 MiketheZombie
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 110
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/23/2010 12:39:36 PM
Wow there is a lot of bitter women. Most women under 22 are the same.
 Jvaz1985
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 111
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/23/2010 12:47:48 PM

I wonder what came first.....Men who expected free and easy sex or women who gave in out of desparation to be loved on SOME level by emotionally unavailable men


The end all be all of the whole cycle.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 112
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/23/2010 2:16:02 PM

I wonder what came first.....Men who expected free and easy sex or women who gave in out of desparation to be loved on SOME level by emotionally unavailable men.

I don't know which came first but I believe what came most recently was women realizing they could enjoy sex on their own terms without seeing it as "giving in." Unfortunately, there are still women who do give in in a misguided attempt at finding love but that's really their problem, not the guys'.
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 113
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/25/2010 1:20:36 AM

I agree but some men do give mixed signals thats its more than just FWB/sex buddy-but thats up to both to establish what exactly is happening.


mixed signals..
is that also called lying
or lies by ommision
or leading someone on.

they want only fwb or sex buddie..
but they still make it seem like more.
they take you out.
you meet their family,
do as bf/gf would do..
but you find out it is fwb when the relationship never grows
never goes past a certain level..
then what.
then you realize that you were lied to...for sex, easy convenient sex.
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 114
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/25/2010 1:22:54 AM
when you meet a man (woman) who is using you for a sex buddie but you wanted a relationship and he faking a relataionship

some people will fake your future
to get what they want today

throw them to the curb and move on.
 BentonHarbor
Joined: 3/2/2010
Msg: 115
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/25/2010 4:56:59 AM

some people will fake your future
to get what they want today


If they're faking your future how will you know until tomorrow???

Dear heart do you EVER have any good luck with men or has it all been so terrible its caused this negative and bitter sounding outlook now? Kinda sad you've allowed such a thing to affect you so much----must be tough living like that!

Hope it gets better for you somehow................
 cdukshnow
Joined: 3/19/2010
Msg: 116
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/25/2010 5:14:58 AM
The same reason women are. Many...MANY women have duped me into what I believed to be a "committed" relationship only to find out that's what they thought I needed to hear to get me into bed. So, when it comes to "nsa"... many (not all) women are more vicious than men because they lie to get what they want rather than be honest and up front about it. I'm sure guys have done the same I am just stunned by the amount o women that have.

Thom
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 117
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/25/2010 12:16:17 PM

they want only fwb or sex buddie..
but they still make it seem like more.
they take you out.
you meet their family,
do as bf/gf would do..
but you find out it is fwb when the relationship never grows
never goes past a certain level..


This isn't FWB's.
FWB's don't meet families and act like bf/gf.

This is just what you said.......a relationship that never grew.
2 people having sex and seeing if it leads somewhere.
Just because it doesn't develop into your idea of a relationship, it doesn't mean
you were being used.
If you were expecting to trade sex for a commitment......the issue is yours......not the mans.
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 118
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/26/2010 5:27:32 AM
never "traded" sex for commitment.
but it was MY mistake to confuse or equate a spoken agreement to being "exclusive"
to also having a commitment. Big mistake...i know now that exclusive does not mean commitment.
many people think it is the same thing. i did. until now. until i met someone who obviously did not equate the two.

i had not even heard of FB and FWB before we met a few years ago.
the exclusivity was there before the sexual part began as we waited a while to get to know one another.

my relationship before the last one....
was more clear to both of us as to what we were doing and planning to do,. . as to where we were going with it together.
i think if i had mentioned FWB to this man....my previous bf, he would have given me a look of "what is that?" and not even heard of it, especially not FB. he was a very conservative all american type man.

in the end... it did not work out or i would not be on pof.
however,...in my last relationship,
there was alot of vagueness and unclarity for me.(from him to me):
i did not receive clear answers to most questions i would ask,
and i am a person who appreciates clarity and directness...
not someone who likes it when a person wont answer...
or gives alot of "i dont know" answers just to be able to keep the relationship going.
or says things and does not follow through: actions not equal to words.

ok...some here will have negative things to say to me, wow....i am used to that on pof forums. so have at it.
but it is only fair to ask someone you are involved with for direct responses.
same thing with platonic freindships right? i am honest with my friends, they are with me. so why should i expect any less from a boyfreind?
if i am involved with a man and he asks me something that has to do with the both of us,..
i would give a clear response.
if i did not want to answer him and gave a vague answer...it is a sign of not being open.

i have been used to people who are able to openly communicate.
the man i was with last,...was not able to do so.
or perhaps he did not want to do so.
i didnt know this at first. it took me a long time to see the pattern.
the evidence was there...that he avoided issues...
but my eyes were closed to seeing it and to accepting how he lived in uncertainty about me and about many things in his life.
....he is very slow to make a decision about almost every single thing in his life that would require the slightest change.
and i am Not saying he is wrong and i was right...
just very different.
that is why we are not together.

when i am going to put my time and energy into a relationship i prefer that the lines of communication remain open.

as for the topic:
if someone wants a fwb situation that is fine for them. but it should be mutual.

having gone through what i just did has served to teach me to be more careful who i give my heart to. because i know the kind of relationship i would like to form with a man. and i will be very direct about that when i meet a person and we have that attraction and both want to get to know one another. then there will not be any misunderstandings from the very start.

being open and upfront is more fair to everyone. (as opposed to being ambigious and vague)
it gives the other person involved a chance to also make an informed decision and choices.

(i started a thread a while back...and some ppl recently posted on it...i am not allowed to respond to it any longer because POF says you can only respond a certain no. of times when i tried to write another response to a post )
anyway.....i am NOT with that man anymore...and wont be going back to him either.
no hard feelings.
ended with love. but definately Ended.
 aarons916
Joined: 1/31/2010
Msg: 119
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 4/21/2010 1:22:18 PM
I read every post and only 1 guy really hit it on the head, guys don't want relationships because most women eventually suck the life out of you. I don't mean just because of the relationship but they usually want to move in and start controlling you and if you get married you're really screwed, during the marriage and when they divorce you and rape you in court. It really makes no sense for guys to get trapped like that anymore, we can just buy our own house, do what we want when we want, not get nagged about anything, etc. It's really not rocket science and I don't mean to sound negative towards women but there are a lot out there who mean well but end up trying to control every aspect of your life and then there are the ones just looking for someone to take care of them, either way men are much better off financially and emotionally just to live alone.

Now having said that, Im not the type to want a FWB type relationship because I much prefer to have a real relationship and the emotional attachment that comes with it but Ive noticed relationships stay much stronger if you don't live together. Then you pretty much just do the fun things together like going out, going on vacation, watching movies and do away with the bad like fighting about who is going to wash the dishes or take the trash out. Plus one other big thing I've noticed is when you see each other every single day, you get bored after awhile and sick of each other where as when you see each other only a few times a week you miss each other more which keeps the passion burning.
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 120
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 4/21/2010 1:27:18 PM
But my question is why are some men all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?


Poetic Ashley: They can be all about sex if they wish. However, they better be honest about their intentions. At which point, you opt out.

Sex is dayum good, but don't lead people on with another agenda.

P.S. They are all sorts of people in the Pond looking for different things.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 121
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 4/23/2010 11:21:27 AM
I'll make it short.
Blame the women too.Not just the men.
Most men are going to at least try.

If we all waited until there was something more they wouldn't expect it.
I know 3 women within a 15 mile radius of me through other people and one personally and they use pof as a hook up site..get tired of them and get another.

You set your terms and if they don't like it....WAH
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 122
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 4/23/2010 1:08:10 PM

Men can be very controlling

Only if the woman is stupid enough to let herself be controlled....

If I told my Girlfriend what to do or what to wear or a large number of other things...., she'd either be gone.... or I'd be in pain.... or both....
I have no respect for anyone who lets themself be controlled.... by anyone....
 madame reyna
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 123
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 4/23/2010 5:01:16 PM
Thanks, Animalcrackers28. What your aunt told you bears repeating:

MEN USE LOVE TO GET SEX BUT WOMEN USE SEX TO GET LOVE.
 944man
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 124
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 4/23/2010 8:00:51 PM
Jay and Aaron, right on the money brothers. You speak the gospel.
 LostChord
Joined: 6/20/2009
Msg: 125
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 4/23/2010 10:48:02 PM
MEN USE LOVE TO GET SEX BUT WOMEN USE SEX TO GET LOVE.

While this may be true, I find it sad.

I wouldn't want to have sex with a woman who didn't want to have sex with me. While it may be unrealistic, I'd like to live in a world where the woman wanted to have sex with me as much as I wanted to have sex with her. Where the woman wasn't "giving me sex" or enduring an unpleasant experience to please me, but where we were sharing the experience because we wanted to.

Likewise, it is sad that a woman would trade sex for the illusion of love. Wouldn't the woman want to be in a relationship where he loves her for who she is and not as an unpleasant duty in exchange for sex? Where he wasn't "giving her love" or enduring her to please her but where both were sharing love because they wanted to?

Is life really this cynical?
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