Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > What kind of woman has or chooses to keep a child knowing that they w      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 100
What kind of woman has or chooses to keep a child knowing that they won't have a father?Page 8 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
If you don't want to have a child - make sure you cover your end of the deal. A child is born to TWO parents who made that choice (even if that choice was born out of complacency or laziness) barring forced unprotected sex.

If you don't want to be responsible for a child, don't do anything that would put you in a place where you'd have to be.

If you are a guy who is worried about someone coming after you for a kid, don't father a kid. Do whatever you have to do to prevent a pregnancy from occuring - including getting a vasectomy, using condoms, avoiding sex. That's YOUR responsibility to see that YOU aren't on the other end of someone getting pregnant.

By the same token, if you are a woman who doesn't want to get pregnant and end up stuck with a kid, do whatever you need to do to prevent that. Get spayed, use birth control, abstain from sex and don't ever plan to have any child if you have to depend on anyone else to help you (including men, the government, family). All that should be nice but never factored into the choice to concieve. It's irrelevant that a woman has the option to adopt or abort - if anything that should be a plus for you if a woman you slept with and knocked up can do that and has chosen to.

If a man or woman gets together with the opposite sex and one of them is irresponsible, the child can still be avoided if the other is REALLY trying to avoid pregnancy. If both are trying, then it's twice the likelihood that it won't happen. It takes two to create a child, so if you plan to participate in sex with the opposite gender, you can only control YOUR end of things. Like driving on the road and being defensive another driver who's reckless can harm you, you must be defensive when having sex that you don't end up with an STD or a child. It might not be a real mood enhancer, but too bad. It's the way it is.

If you go into it hoping the other person has your best interest, you're being foolish. Sorry.

All else is hot air.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 101
What kind of woman has or chooses to keep a child knowing that they won't have a father?
Posted: 1/14/2011 9:58:43 AM
Do you even realize that before womens rights came along, abortion was illegal and birth control was unheard of?
Men didnt want women having that much power, to be able to choose weather to cary a child or not, or have the sexual freedom that came from having more pregnancy prevention options that the invention of the birth control pill brought along with it.

If you are anti-womens rights, then you are also anti-birth control and anti-abortion.

Loading women down with babies was the most surefire way of keeping her in her place, if she was loaded down with 10 kids she didnt have any time to fight for her equality and rights.
Some of those femi-nazi's were the biggest advocates and political rallyers towards the pro-choice movement, and have their own form of birth control so they wouldnt be saddled down with truckloads babies when some horny dude didnt want to wear a rubber.

The choice IS the womans to make, once an egg is fertilised.
Not all women believe in abortion though, and not all women can take hormonal birth control, and not all women will take it correctly, so dont be a DUMB ASS TRICK and PROTECT YOURSELF FROM IRRESPONSIBLY FATHERING CHILDREN.
Once you jizz in a womansd iterus, its up to her what she does from there if conception occurs. But that would beg the question, just how did your jizz get up in her uterus? Unprotected sex?

I dont want MY taxes paying for YOUR little **stards because you are to dumb to not raw dog a hoe and protect yourself.
Do you have a couple ugly dirty ass kids running around eating gub'ment cheese and being housed and clothed off the taxpayer dime and being raised by some untrustworthy woman who you just couldnt resist rawdogging without a rubber and spermicide, because her feminine wiles just rendered you helpless and irresponsible, MRCS???

Just out of curiosity, do you even bother to take the time to find out if a woman takes a pro-life or pro-choice stance, and what her most likely decision will be in the event iof unwanted pregnancy?
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 102
view profile
History
What kind of woman has or chooses to keep a child knowing that they won't have a father?
Posted: 1/14/2011 12:23:02 PM

Has it occured to you that the gub'ment wouldn't need to step up with the cheese, if boys like you didn't feel entitled to create children then abandon them?


"Boys like me" don't have any kids.

This also ignores all of the other factors for being single parents such as the father losing his life or getting the children that he wanted to be involved with stripped from him for some reason, or because both parents were too young to be having kids but they did anyway.


Just out of curiosity, do you even bother to take the time to find out if a woman takes a pro-life or pro-choice stance, and what her most likely decision will be in the event iof unwanted pregnancy?

The way I approach sex is like this: Before even getting naked, I ask the very direct question of "If we were to have sex, and you got pregnant, would you have the baby?" If she gives me anything other than a very direct "no," then I move on. "I'm not really sure".....not good enough. "We'll cross that bridge if/when we get to it"....not good enough. I also tell her that if she lied to me, then I will do the absolute minimum that is legally required of me to raise that child. He/She would be lucky to get a phone call from me on birthdays/holidays. And yes, I most certainly use condoms. Until I am in an LTR, and she is able to provide documentation that she is incapable of having children -and- STD free, then I won't have it any other way.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 103
What kind of woman has or chooses to keep a child knowing that they won't have a father?
Posted: 1/14/2011 2:08:11 PM
to *keep* a child - one who loves it

next?
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 104
view profile
History
What kind of woman has or chooses to keep a child knowing that they won't have a father?
Posted: 1/14/2011 6:15:17 PM

That is acquiescence with suggesting that we get rid of programs like, student grants, welfare, and WIC. These are all things that are government funded and they level the playing field. But to hell with those people too, right? They should play with the cards they are dealt and not be able to seek outside assistance


Asking for help is not the same as having a sense of entitlement, just as dealing with biological fact is not the same as acquiescing.


Based on the logic of your first post, no they shouldn't. Social Darwinism all the way!!


A far cry from my logic, but at least an intelligent refute. Two points for you.

There is a logical argument for why men don't have the same opt out clause when it comes to post conception; they can't get pregnant! You can argue forever, but the truth is, women will never be able to pee on a tree while standing. Follow?


The way I approach sex is like this: Before even getting naked, I ask the very direct question of "If we were to have sex, and you got pregnant, would you have the baby?" If she gives me anything other than a very direct "no," then I move on. "I'm not really sure".....not good enough. "We'll cross that bridge if/when we get to it"....not good enough. I also tell her that if she lied to me, then I will do the absolute minimum that is legally required of me to raise that child. He/She would be lucky to get a phone call from me on birthdays/holidays. And yes, I most certainly use condoms. Until I am in an LTR, and she is able to provide documentation that she is incapable of having children -and- STD free, then I won't have it any other way.


With the above, you provide the best argument against yourself. Of course, I am sure you understand that even someone who adamantly states that they do not want children may feel very differently if they actually find that they are carrying a child inside. Cry "woman's prerogative" is unfair (and rightly so, from your perspective) but the truth is that there are many men as well who, once they realize that they have produced a human being, or see their child for the first time, have changed their mind about their level of involvement. Pertinent to the discussion at hand, however, is that your actions are exactly what those you are arguing against deem necessary for one who does not want kids.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 105
view profile
History
What kind of woman has or chooses to keep a child knowing that they won't have a father?
Posted: 1/14/2011 8:12:13 PM

With the above, you provide the best argument against yourself.

I don't follow


but the truth is that there are many men as well who, once they realize that they have produced a human being, or see their child for the first time, have changed their mind about their level of involvement.

I guess I will have to cross that bridge if/when I come to it.


Pertinent to the discussion at hand, however, is that your actions are exactly what those you are arguing against deem necessary for one who does not want kids.

Is that such a bad thing?
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 106
view profile
History
What kind of woman has or chooses to keep a child knowing that they won't have a father?
Posted: 1/15/2011 5:15:36 AM
It's not a bad thing at all, it's a good thing. Crossing the bridge when you come to it, without having first done just as you describe in your own life, is the problem here, and it is not limited to women. Were you to decide, after reaching the bridge, that you shouldn't be held accountable simply because you are unable to terminate a pregnancy, though, would you be any different than the women who are held in such low esteem around here? With all that's been said, were someone to have phrased the original question as "What kind of man makes a child, then chooses to ignore his responsibility to that child?" some would redirect that responsibility to the woman since only she can abort. You can't have it both ways. Potential outcome is known to both parties, biology & heartfelt discussion prior to lying down aside. Both parties are equally responsible once a baby is conceived, however limited one's choices at that point (due to biology, religion, personal beliefs, etc.) and either party who defaults on their responsibility is guilty of reprehensible behavior. In short, do the right thing & two rights don't make a wrong, ya know?
 tmclopton
Joined: 4/17/2010
Msg: 107
view profile
History
What kind of woman has or chooses to keep a child knowing that they won't have a father?
Posted: 1/16/2011 10:00:32 AM
every one of my children is a birth control baby. abortion is murder!. if it has a heartbeat it is alive
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 108
What kind of woman has or chooses to keep a child knowing that they won't have a father?
Posted: 2/2/2011 4:44:03 AM

I don't think that the mother's (myself included) are shrugging off the responsibility or the obligations that come with the CONSEQEUNCES of having sex...


So says the poster who works part time......and who refused to allow her sons to live where they wanted as she required the father to go to court and get a court order as she needed the child support to assist in her choices of owning her own home...and working part time....

I would suggest that having sex...requires the responsibility of financial self sufficiency...for either parent......and when reviewing the non custodial numbers I also suggest that woman are even less responsible based on the cs numbers...

But in this house the thing has always been we....we can do alright...we do not need income supplement from the non custodial mother who also has her own bills to pay and her own mortgage to pay...insuring that the children have an alternative living option if they so chose....as opposed to the 2,000 sq foot home that is partially supported by child support.
 rks1607
Joined: 8/21/2010
Msg: 109
What kind of woman has or chooses to keep a child knowing that they won't have a father?
Posted: 8/19/2011 8:50:30 AM
Im a single mom and i choose to to keep my son. I was raped at 14 15 birthday i found out i was expecting I did choose adoption at first until i held my son in my arms. I knew i could give him all the love and care that he needed. I finished school im starting my nursing degree. I know someday i will meet someone who will love my son as thier own but until then im happy being mommy and daddy to my son. My son will never know anything about his father whom is in prison for many counts of rape.
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > What kind of woman has or chooses to keep a child knowing that they won't have a father?