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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Ex owes me $$-advice/suggestions welcome      Home login  
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 DebiDuzDishes
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 11
Ex owes me $$-advice/suggestions welcomePage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Heres a new idea..

Tell the NEW girlfriend IF she pays you back.. you will never speak to his silly butt again.. :

Whats up with men and young women?.. do they do that to get thier Ego back in line?..

to slamdunk you into the dirt?...

and are young women that desperate to date old farts?
 That Handy Man
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 12
Ex owes me $$-advice/suggestions welcome
Posted: 3/19/2010 5:26:41 PM
Most people don't have a glimmer of hope in a case like this.

Maybe explain that you want to move on with your life, but do expect your money. Get a promissory note, witnessed officially if that's possible. Always do such things when the communication channels are still open and friendly.

As they say, an oral arrangement isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Maybe some day you will be pleasantly surprised.

Failing that. What are organs fetching these days? lol
 Lemmons09
Joined: 3/13/2010
Msg: 13
Ex owes me $$-advice/suggestions welcome
Posted: 3/20/2010 5:37:15 AM
Khoyal-something like this may happen. He will get his student loan overage in Sept, which is how he was able to give me a payment before. He also has plans for summer work-but as I say, I'm expecting nothing. That way I won't be disappointed. You are so very correct in that I need my emotional sanity back, but in cheating on me, he did me a huge favor. I've never felt more empowered and confident. They say some women thrive on these sorts of things-I never figured myself as one of them! lol

Dr. Wow-sorry to hear you were burned by a toxic personality. Am I correct in guessing--emotional manipulator? I've had a few of those in my life, the vultures circling and swooping to pick my bones after the death of my husband. You are well rid of her, and I am sorry you, and anyone else, has to deal with those wastes of flesh. Gladly, I can say that my ex doesn't fall under this definition, although he emerged from this group of folks. He's a selfish SOB, but he's not a monster.

Whenwillthiswork26-I know I'm nice, goldurnit! That's what got me into this mess! There is a significant population of low-lifes and losers who equate "nice" with "weak". Ah well, they will have to answer to their karma. ...Thank you for the nice response. It's a nice way to welcome a noob. And I like the nice hug, too! I have been lurking since last year, and noticed your posts, which I have enjoyed reading. You, and certain others, always have something worthwhile to add.

Debiduzdishes-Lol, I did actually tell the new GF something similar to that! When you're losing your mind, and trying to shake off a cute little dog who keeps pissin' on your kitchen floor, you'll make all sorts of deals with the devil. And I don't know why most men go for younger women, but I do know the main reason my ex did-because she is closer to his emotional maturity level than I am. Also, because she's an emotional wreck, and she makes him feel big and strong. But of course, the hurt little girl in me knows he went for her because of looks, as well. I like the movie MoonStruck where Olivia DeHaviland says "Why do men chase women?" and Frazer's Dad answers, "I don't know, because we fear death?" And she answers "Yes! That's it!" then later tells her cheating husband "Cosmo, you are gonna die like everybody else."

ThatHandyMan-I do have a promissory note, although it needs updating. I plan on taking care of that at the divorce hearing, if he shows up. If not I'll send him a letter. I sure hope I'm pleasantly surprised! Organ donation, hmm, think it depends on the organ...

Loveoregon-I'm afraid he and I both saw it as a string for awhile, but around January I recognized what I was doing to myself. I don't think he understands it yet. He made his choice back in October to dis me by following his wandering eye, to refuse discussion about the subject and not give our relationship a chance to overcome the obstacles it was facing. For him to even want me in his life....it just makes absolutely no sense to me. You don't know the whole story, but I've been very good to him, on every level-which he has acknowledged... you've got to really harbor some serious dislike for a person to do what my ex did to me after everything we've been through together...so I guess it's clear I don't get why he wants to hang around, stay attached, when I'm positive deep down he both resents and hates me. But there's a lot about this whole thing I don't get, so I suppose that's okay.

Thanks everybody :)
 katty1981
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 14
Ex owes me $$-advice/suggestions welcome
Posted: 3/20/2010 6:15:52 AM
you wont get the money back so lose contact otherwise u wil be staying in touch for no reason
 Lemmons09
Joined: 3/13/2010
Msg: 15
Ex owes me $$-advice/suggestions welcome
Posted: 3/20/2010 5:50:45 PM
katty1981-ending contact is pretty much what I've decided to do.

dogslife2live-since I'm the OP, and folks have taken the time to not only read, but respond, I like to show my appreciation by responding to each. As for your other observation/question-what makes you think there are any sane women--or men for that matter? We're all ferkin' crazy, only some people are better at hiding it than others!

motown cowgirl-ya know, his GF actually offered to help pay me back. It's both hilarious and sickeningly sad. First he accepted, then admitted feeling shamed, and changed his mind. Like I said previously, he's a selfish SOB, but not a monster. I think he might even be learning something from this whole thing-like pride or self-sufficiency or who knows. Idk anymore. Just speculating.

iyamnot-perhaps if he had not cheated immediately after I gave him the money, he would not have offered to pay me back, or made a partial payment to me as soon as he could afford it. Also, if you had read my OP and the rest of the thread carefully before shooting off a response, you would have a much better understanding of the situation, and likely would have responded differently. But maybe not. Interesting to read your opinion anyway.
 hard2love
Joined: 4/20/2008
Msg: 16
Ex owes me $$-advice/suggestions welcome
Posted: 3/20/2010 6:38:38 PM
Feel Happy you at least got some of the money back! If he has shown you an effort and has paid you some, consider yourself lucky! My Exe owed me over $5500.00 plus was living w/ me and I was paying her and my bills. She swore to God she was going to pay me back and she would not do me like alot of others had done! She was telling me we were soulmates and she loved me and then the very next day caught her screwing around on me! Then add insult to injury, to save her face and make it look like I was the bad guy, she turned around and placed domestic violence charges on me and a Protective Order! All in all she never intended to pay any of the money back and when it was all said and done that sorry excuse for a human cost me around $30k !!! I'll never see that money again and there is no justice in the justice system! It's a joke and so is small claims court! Don't waste your time!!!
 Lemmons09
Joined: 3/13/2010
Msg: 17
Ex owes me $$-advice/suggestions welcome
Posted: 3/20/2010 8:08:49 PM
iyamnot: part of what he owes me is half the divorce fee. Also, I didn't write "spouting off" but "shooting off" which is quite different in meaning, as I only felt that you responded hastily. Good luck to you, as well, and thanks for your opinion. It's quite valid in a general sense.

hard2love: what happened to you really stinks. Why do people like your ex always have to turn it around and blame the victim? I see that a lot on here, too-it's a tendency people have when they see other's mistakes. It's ridiculous and just plain counter-productive most of the time. Usually people know when they've screwed up-there's rarely need to rub their nose in it. Anyway, as I said earlier in the thread, I'm not wasting my time with small claims, I completely agree.
 Lemmons09
Joined: 3/13/2010
Msg: 18
Ex owes me $$-advice/suggestions welcome
Posted: 3/22/2010 2:33:47 AM

does that mean that we are doomed to a life of selecting our insanities..... or should i say matching others insanities to our own


Absolutely! but I prefer to use the term "realities" instead of "insanities". It makes me look less scary.

What I really think is our ancestors should have never climbed down from those tree branches. Our brains are just too big. We drive ourselves bananas with inanities.

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