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 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 109
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Why do guys look and not even say hello? Page 8 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

Basically, you guys are "CHICKEN" afraid of the "NO"..

not all women are attractive. even some with good features. in those cases it's not fear, it's lack of attraction.
 ajfedz
Joined: 12/25/2008
Msg: 114
Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/23/2010 9:24:53 PM

Curious as to why guys look and then don't do anything about it. Even on night's out with my friend's they get chatted up and yet guys seem to just look at me.


I took a look at your profile and what I would recommend is a close up pic of you smiling and do show those pearly whites. Also, write a little bit more about you, in your about me.


I am old school and prefer to be chatted up.


Its the year 2010, and we have a different way of meeting one another, ie - internet.
Lose that old school way of thinking and find a profile that you like and contact them. Or, a good idea would be to add a guy as one of your favorites - that would let them know you have interest. You can start by adding me! hehe
 DragNFlyBuzzez
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 121
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Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/24/2010 5:03:52 AM
hey mermaid,

[Basically, you guys are "CHICKEN" afraid of the "NO".. ]

how many rejections have you had? How many unread delete have you done? Call us chicken? huh, pretty sad, when your whining about being taken by a player remember your words, cause karma is real...............
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 123
Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/24/2010 6:17:14 AM

Some guys feel intimidated by approaching an attractive woman. But it could also be that you're (without knowing it) giving off vibes that say "don't even bother" or that you're not approachable. Guy picks up on that and, consequently, don't bother.


I do agree that some guys feel intimidated by attractive women, but that also works to the advantage of guys that are not intimidated by a woman's looks and are willing to approach. The problem then with that equation is that you get to know a lot of very attractive women that are also so shallow that they become a complete turn off. Consequently, then whey approaching attractive women, you look for something more, something of substance that says this lady is special. Unfortunately, they don't. Because they define who they are by their looks, they do not feel that they have to put any effort in their profile, because they are going to get the 300 emails anyway. They can put f vck off and guys are still going to email them. The irony of it all, is that these women put on their profiles, "No Players," yet the guys that are not intimidated by looks, can pull a conversation out of them, and are swift enough to get her to fall for him, are usually players. While the average guy, said to himself, no way, I'll find me a more "real" woman.
 DragNFlyBuzzez
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 127
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Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/24/2010 7:52:09 AM
mermaid,
no nerve, reality of situation, online dating not for me, your right I did not enjoy the rejection, as a engineer, I tracked my results to see if this forum of dating was for me, my results showed me that my time can be used better elsewhere with better results.
I can play the game and be thicked skin about it, but 2.5 yrs into a divorce and I still wear the "separated" monikor, (toxic waste) but you know, I read posts, I meet people my age and those in late 40's, lots of bitter people out there. I'll just wait for the courts to finish my divorce, read the forums and continue myself improvement until I'm free.

Best of luck in your search!
 davebart999
Joined: 3/21/2010
Msg: 129
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Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/25/2010 1:10:21 AM
I know that I look and if a woman sees me looking, I may feel awkward for a minute. I feel like I got "caught". I just sympathize with women, so I don't bother them. I see how guys will hoot, holler and whistle at an attractive woman in the city streets. If I were a woman I'd get tired of that real quick..The awkward part I believe comes from the lack of knowledge of intention. Is the guy looking because he is lusting? Or does he see a woman who he wished to spend his life with?

I certainly enjoy spotting a woman 'checking me out'. Great for my ego lol...When I wear sunglasses, I notice many more women looking at me because they don't think I see it. It's our culture. Women are taught that is is bad to openly lust or advertise want for men.

I feel like I would be bothering them. If I am not prepared to meet someone, I just keep moving on. In New York City, it is bad form to walk around talking to strangers. Many are real nuts. Many will rip you off. I often don't approach a woman I am attracted to because I don't want to scare her. Every now and then, I try saying "Hi!" with a smile on my face. I have had women call me "pervert" just for saying hi....lol

It's a cruel world. It's a shame I can't just walk up to a stranger and say hi. I still do, anyway, sometimes. I often pay for it....We live in a sick social time.

Now some women do dress in a way that I may find rather "stimulating"....I can't help look at times. That kind of woman is often looking for attention, and will often smile if she sees I'm looking. Some frown. Some scowl....lol You never know...

On rare occasions I have met complete strangers and had awesome conversations. I can't think of a single time in my life where I made a lasting friendship with someone I met on the street. I have partied with strangers, don't get me wrong. I'm talking about a romantic situation.
 outtareach
Joined: 3/18/2010
Msg: 136
Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/25/2010 9:22:59 PM
There's a fear of rejection that's pretty strong.

It takes some nerve to introduce yourself to somebody new in public where you might be embarassed.
 gingernuts
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 137
Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/25/2010 9:58:50 PM
Well i can not speak for all guy's but my view is this:
some men do not talk to some ladies as think wus men have nothing to offer, like self doubts why would a women looking like that... talk to me.. so not fear but why put yourself for rejection... As at times not easy to approach a women even for a platonic chat and laughs, i think key is if a lady feels that way.. why sint a guy chatting to her or say Hi is to approach and break ice or show type of body langauge so the guy knows she wouldlove to say hello.. as we men at times can be thick.

Personally this has happen to me mainly think as... lady wont give me time of day... but also ahve say am outgoing as well..

Simple wave say hi is Great way start

Hope this makes sense!
 gingernuts
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 139
Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/25/2010 10:53:12 PM
Think everyone has some type of beauty
 Strider886
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 141
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Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/26/2010 4:24:15 AM
Curious as to why guys look and then don't do anything about it. Even on night's out with my friend's they get chatted up and yet guys seem to just look at me. I am old school and prefer to be chatted up. Maybe I have halitosis or is it my scary mole?


Because there are so many rude and ignorant cows that just "read/deleted" or "unread/deleted", probably for their own sick amusement, but im being pessimistic now......

I totally stopped sending initial/first messages, because it started to make me feel like there was something wrong with me. Better to see a nice lass and think "yeah she's nice" than to send a message and end up thinking "f*cking hell, even the nice ones's are ignorant".

This site is to women, what a candy shop is to a child..... There's too much choice and in the end they go for the over packaged rubbish with no substance.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 157
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Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 4/8/2010 11:01:03 AM

2) men are still little boys and trust me when i say this, we still think we are on play ground

In what sense? My first thought would be the whole "girls have cooties" thing, but I could be wrong here.


3) men don't think the way women think therefore we scare ourselves. women can seperate their sexual brains from their emotional and cognative brains, men can't


I can see some merit in the first statement. Often times I have seen guys talk themselves out of pursing someone. The second sentence is flat out wrong. You can find evidence in that thread that called something like "women who say that their last relationship was all about sex." Female prostitution is a lot more lucrative than male prostitution. So for men, it's significantly easier to detach the emotional aspect and just pay outright, than try to build a relationship.


5) we have some ice breakers in the men's manuel but not all work so we dont know what to do next

So basically, we are prepared, but we are not prepared -enough- which reverts back to talking ourselves out of it.

As far as i see it, you're either interested enough to say something or you're not.

Hey OP--do you greet everyone that you look at? I would hate to see you in a mall during Christmas season.
 racefan77
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 158
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Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 4/8/2010 11:07:59 AM
I don't say hi but not cause i'm afraid of rejection just that i have a hard time starting a conversation with someone i don't know. doesn't matter if it's a man or woman. I've been trying to get over that tho! at least on here.
 racefan77
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 160
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Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 4/8/2010 12:32:44 PM
It would be nice if more women say hello.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 168
Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 4/16/2010 7:31:00 AM
If I look at a girl and don't say anything to her...

its because i have not noticed any initial attraction from her to me...

ie- i did not notice if she found me attractive.

i like when i look at a woman- for her to give a little smile or an extended look...or something like that.

i'm not worried about rejection.

i just would rather chat with ladies that i think are attracted to me.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 170
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Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 4/16/2010 10:21:31 PM
Why just look? Some are shy, and don't know what to say. But they still find you attractive. Basically, guys like to look at attractive girls. Whether we plan on approaching you or not.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 173
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Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 4/18/2010 10:17:06 AM
Msg: 1, The secret on being popular with men is not beauty but great personality," feeling confidence with yourself,sorroundings,and others, I know a woman who was not blessed with a good height, "looks" not statusque per se , where ever she goes , she lights up the place, people greet and smile at her , her secret she connect herself with a " good vibes" to everyone as if she knows them for a long time... If she caught some one is staring at her she smile to that person,like he is her friend and she is happy to see him/her...

That person is me....
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 175
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Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 4/18/2010 12:42:09 PM
It's great when women make first contact but I'm not sure why they do it sometimes. For the most part I answer the first contact emails I get and start up conversations even if they would be people I wouldn't have contacted or thought were attractive because you never know. What I don't get is the fact that we're having polite conversation and after a few emails their tones change to seem almost annoyed and rude for no reason at all and they don't want to talk. I think they're either just looking to get their egos stroked by as many people as possible or just like messing with men's minds for fun. From these experiences, I'd say getting a first contact email fron a woman isn't always a good thing because this exact same scenario seems to happen about 80% of the time to me and I'm baffled as to why. I could understand if I was the one making first contact but not the other way around. LOTS of weirdos on here to wade through I guess.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 184
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Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 4/19/2010 5:38:35 AM
kail: You obviously didn't read my WHOLE post or you didn't get it if you did.

benton: Totally disagree. Finding interested people who aren't messed up is a lot easier offline. Would explain why a LOT of people are here in the first place.
 cognace27
Joined: 2/16/2007
Msg: 189
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Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 4/21/2010 9:13:29 PM
Speaking as a woman who has the same problem and probably for many different reasoins. Yes it would be just as easy for us women to go and talk to the man that might or might not be looking our direction. But I think we fear rejection worse than a man does. Although I wil admit it hasn't stopped me from going and talking to a man if I find him attractive. But then again sometimes you know although he has looked your direction that you are not his type. But there is always other guys in places like that and whether you/or he is the type you/ or he is looking for then somebody else will be.
 cognace27
Joined: 2/16/2007
Msg: 190
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Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 4/21/2010 9:17:36 PM
I completely agree, except reversed where it comes to men doing the same thing.
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 210
Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 5/7/2010 12:16:20 PM
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder ...indeed indeed.
 .dej
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 211
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Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 5/7/2010 12:35:11 PM

If I were a man, Id get tired of doing all the approaching, all of the time too.

Nah. There's a certain thrill to it. Chase. Game.

It's fun.
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 216
Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 5/9/2010 8:15:10 AM

Most women look for that guy their girlfriends will go crazy gaga eyes about where most Men just want that one woman that suits them and them only

I dread this statement, I really do. I for one haven't cared what my friends think of my boyfriends since high school...in fact I don't even think I cared in high school. My taste in men is very different than most. I tend to go for the more nerdy types just because my personality meshes with them way more than someone that's a meat head and always at the gym. In fact your whole statement can be reversed easily and said that women look for one man who suits them and only them while men look for a 'trophy' they can prance around with and show off to their boys. People are different, men and women are different...you can't sit up here and say most women or most men, because I promise you it goes both ways.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 226
Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 5/9/2010 7:37:38 PM
The "viewed me" feature....ehh most should never click on it.

The majority of the members on this and all other sites, don't even know the forums exist or ever participate in them. Last stats I saw posted was 5%, and I have scanned other sites like this and those that have forums....the participation here is lots more.

That said, the far majority of users throw up a profile (throw up being the OPERATIVE phrase..ehh) and then go to search and send out oddles of emails. I've gotten thousands that are just so obvious it's a copy/paste. (thousands because I've been a member here awhile...haha)

I get "looked at"....I DO occasionally click on the viewed me. I don't get upset, even curious about why not all of those members don't contact me...honestly for most...I'm thankful they didn't.

I think it comes down to perception is reality for many.

There is no obligation by someone who's doing a search and clicks on your profile, probably search returns depending on the variables, dozens or even hundreds.

It's like a drive-by or someone walking past your table at a club. They may look at you, doesn't mean they'll stop and talk to you.

If you see someone you'd like to talk to, you know you can email them...
 m14shooter
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 232
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Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 5/11/2010 2:59:39 PM
I used to speak to people and even hold the door open for them but after many nasty comments like how dare I speak or open the door I just became another uncaring person.
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