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Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 5
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little to no common ground, yet I can't help but be intrigued by herPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)

I don't want to call her dumb ( which she isn't) but she doesn't really seem the type for deep intellectual conversation. I have a really hard time with small talk, especially through text and I find myself ending the conversations due to lack of what really to say. I don't want her to think I am losing interest simply because I am not all that big on texting.

Lets be real here. You think she is of lower intellect than you, so already her hotness is wearing thin. Make up your mind, what is more important to you? Her looks or the fact that you seem to already have a compatablilty issue based on intellectual levels. Seems to be a no brainer to me....
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 8
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little to no common ground, yet I can't help but be intrigued by her
Posted: 3/23/2010 5:03:59 PM

I think I'll take the cute nice girl that actually likes me for a change if that makes any sense whatsoever.

There is a temptation to enjoy the company of a person who is cute, nice and actually likes you... regardless of what you think of them. The ego can live on it for quite some time and even be deluded into thinking you can have something real with this person because regardless of what you feel for them, they adore you. That adoration is nice. It feels good. However, it isn't really fair to that person now is it? Don't they deserve someone who is equally into them? I mean, how do you think people become so cold, jaded and cynical?

You aren't intrigued by her, your ego is flattered by her.

I'm willing to bet most all people have had that relationship. The one where they felt superior to the other person mentally, emotionally, intellectually, whatever.. but because that other person was just so nice, cute, sweet, loving, etc. they gave it a whirl. It always ends bad. Always. Whatever is lacking is what you will find yourself constantly seeking. Being with someone who is nice and likes you just isn't enough. It never is. It would be ever so much more simple if it were.
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 9
little to no common ground, yet I can't help but be intrigued by her
Posted: 3/23/2010 6:14:41 PM
Imagine if she was minimally attractive to you-- would her sweet and bubbly ways still be enough to hold your interest? I suspect the physical attraction is what's sucked you in hard so you're grasping to find redeeming traits to compensate for the unappealing ones. Do you think "nice" is enough to sustain a relationship? For some people it is, but if stimulating conversation is what you crave from a girlfriend, she might get old real quick.
 Canadian Ink
Joined: 7/12/2009
Msg: 10
little to no common ground, yet I can't help but be intrigued by her
Posted: 3/23/2010 11:51:07 PM
I was in the very boat I think you're in, OP, in my earliest days of dating. Meeting a girl I knew full well I had little, if any, compatibility with but searching in vain for common ground cause she was just so freakin' hot and she was a really nice person. It really does not seem like there is any groundwork for a long term relationship. Your ego is being fed by the good-looking, nice girl who's into you, but who I think we both agree that you're not into in the same way. It's nice to say "I'd rather have the nice girl who likes me for a change" but in the long run, is that really what you want? I don't think it is. What you do want, I suspect, is to be able to meet a girl who will tweak that sentence for you just a little to read instead, "I'd like to meet the nice girl who likes me and who I like back." This girl doesn't seem to be it.
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