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Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 28
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LonelinessPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Denial is worse than admission of nearly any feelings we might have.
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 29
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Posted: 8/31/2011 4:13:42 AM
i've always craved solitude. i cherish every second i can get when i don't have people around me. a full-time job in an office full of people, my own business on the side, membership in the local bird club, the pa native plant society and a book group give me little time to even think about loneliness. and now i have people contacting me for tarot readings, festivals and more gardening. that leaves me little time for friends and family get-togethers. i guess i mainly have a problem with time management.

i used to think that everyone's ultimate goal was to be left alone. but, as people have stated here, that's not the case.

so, tell me: what does it feel like to not have people demanding your attention 24/7?
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 30
Posted: 8/31/2011 9:54:11 AM

so, tell me: what does it feel like to not have people demanding your attention 24/7?

*wipes a tear*
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 32
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Posted: 9/12/2011 6:55:11 AM

so, tell me: what does it feel like to not have people demanding your attention 24/7?

It really depends on which people and how much time each one wants. My close family and friends - any time of the day or night. Not so close, but still close - try not to wake me at 3 AM, please. Both categories, if you need someone to bail you out of jail no matter what the time of day or night, you'd better be able to repay me immediately when the bank opens.

Being on call 24/7 for extended periods was part of my job description for 10 years. That is so not fun!

Being constantly in demand over a long period becomes a habit. It's one I'm still trying to deal with not having anymore.
Joined: 9/3/2011
Msg: 37
Posted: 9/13/2011 6:49:48 PM
What I'll never understand is why just about everyone is so mean to lonely people.

Will you feel happy and proud if your meanness drives a lonely person to suicide???

Buncha sickos.
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 42
Posted: 9/14/2011 4:22:32 PM
loneliness- I don't think it's a weakness to admit to being lonely.
Everyone experiences it at some point.
There is a way out of it. You have to get to the point where you are happy with your own company. You also have a choice to get out and experience life.
Find an activity that makes you happy, reach out to others, be open.
It's possible to be lonely in a room full of people if you close yourself off.
There are circumstances where loneliness is beyond someones control. If they are elderly and shut in or disabled and can't get out. Otherwise, it's up to each of us to find a way to not be lonely.
You can not control what other people do, you can only control how you react.
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 43
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Posted: 3/26/2012 11:36:29 AM
Loneliness is when you do not feel connected to anyone in your spirit. I could go out and have a conversation with a stranger and not feel lonely. I could also go to a party with alot of people and feel lonely if I am not connecting emotionally with anyone. We all feel lonely at times when we want to connect with another person of opposite sex or same sex who could just connect with me emotionally or just to even laugh together with someone.
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 45
Posted: 4/6/2012 9:03:47 PM
I think loneliness is part of the human condition. What cured it for me was losing loved ones back to back during a tough year. I was grieving, some I had thought were true friends were not there to deal with the truth of my reality, so I let go of the fairweather friendships. That was new for me bc I had always been a bit of a social butterfly. Through the whole thing I turned more towards God and got through. Sometimes, I humbly confess I had left God last and done it all on my own, predictably making mistakes. Well, here I am single lol. This time I ask God to send just the right one for me. Now, I actually value my solitude and find myself in the position of setting boundaries over my 'me-time' with friends and family, though I still love them and make a point of seeing them. I have a career that gives me shedule change passes that anyone who knows me is aware of, but I never use it as an excuse either. I just move more to my own rhythm.
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 46
Posted: 4/7/2012 7:08:13 AM
@ Nr 1 ...

" ... Could someone explain this to me. Why is it shameful in the American culture to admit to loneliness? It's natural to me when we don't live among a clan whether it be family or friends, we naturally feel lonely. ... "

There's a distinct difference between being 'alone' and feeling 'lonely' ... We spend the majority of our life alone. That reality usually becomes clear sometime in early childhood. The entirely separate concept and emotion of 'lonely' is something that generally manifests after the loss of someone with whom we've become accustomed to having in our life on a close and regular basis. If people don't learn to be 'their own best company' during childhood, they'll learn from life that they won't always have someone else to play with.

Now for the 'Big Question' ... Why is the gratuitous comment about Latino populations necessary? Is there some special form of 'aloneness' or 'loneliness' which can be experienced only by that particular group? Do other ethnicities not experience the emotion(-s) you ask about here? This is a needless and pointless distinction.
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