Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > No sex before marriage      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 axl617
Joined: 9/3/2010
Msg: 131
No sex before marriagePage 10 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
No sex before marriage is the most ridiculous 'value' idealistic girls still hold on to today. There is absolutely no single good reason for doing it other than the stupid idea that it shows some sort of 'commitment' and allows time for people to connect 'emotionally'. Here's a hint, wait till you're ready! don't set some arbitrary condition such as getting married before considering yourself ready for penetration.

The whole idea shouldn't be supported, if someone doesn't want to have sex until marriage that's fine, be an idiot, but the ideology behind it should be ridiculed for what it is, a way to control people. This exactly the type of backward thinking that is making people ashamed of their sexuality.

This is the year 2010, women are no longer slaves to be married at age 12 to be house servants their entire lives. With feminism women now have careers and independence, and certainly don't get married when they hit puberty like they would in the 'olden' days. So waiting till you're in your late 20s to have sex to adhere to some value your parents set for you is IDIOTIC.
 Yew4ics
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 132
No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/25/2010 4:23:18 AM

The whole idea shouldn't be supported, if someone doesn't want to have sex until marriage that's fine, be an idiot, but the ideology behind it should be ridiculed for what it is, a way to control people.


I think it's a form of bullying to be telling someone that that they are an idiot, because of their belief system/faith. Who the h#ll do you think you are? Everyone has their own set of values, and I would never tell someone that mine is better than theirs, if they choose to wait.
 axl617
Joined: 9/3/2010
Msg: 133
No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/25/2010 4:37:05 AM

I think it's a form of bullying to be telling someone that that they are an idiot, because of their belief system/faith. Who the h#ll do you think you are? Everyone has their own set of values, and I would never tell someone that mine is better than theirs, if they choose to wait.


I can't think of a better word to describe people who uphold such values. Just as I think scientologists are idiots, and people who believe in segregation etc. Only difference is that choosing not to have sex isn't explicitly hurting anyone (other than giving your men blue balls) hence why I don't usually say anything to people with these values.

Btw I wouldn't mind if people think some of my values are idiotic either, so long they can come up with a reasonable explanation for believing so. And as long as they don't try to convert my beliefs.
 Yew4ics
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 134
No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/25/2010 5:44:09 AM
axl, I hae to keep reminding myself how young you are. Tolerance, respect and reverence for others faith, and such, are things that come with time and experience. Right now, you have all the answers, and haven't been humbled yet.
 kojaks488
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 135
No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/25/2010 3:22:34 PM
Actually, boyo (axl617), the fact that you can't think of a better word to describe someone with a moral fibre proves what Yew4ics said about you.

I don't believe in waiting to have sex before marriage nor do I understand how people can. What I do know is that a lot of these people with such values get pleasure and joy from holding to them. To simply call these people idiots because they don't view the world the same as you, or hold views that you denote idiotic, shows your immaturity.

Of course you're entitled to your opinion, no matter how sour it may be. To put it in terms you might understand from Peter Griffin: I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
 KJamal99
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 136
view profile
History
No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/27/2010 1:19:47 PM
I'm capable of that...

Although I think it might be okay if marriage is imminent. Like if you're engaged and wedding plans are in the works.

All that talk about having to know if you are sexually compatible, that's kinda blah to me. I mean, if it's not perfect that first time, don't you have the rest of your lives together to learn to"practice" and to perfect it. If you have to know beforehand, I suppose you could discuss sex with the person - meaning finding out what they will or will not do, etc.
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 137
view profile
History
No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/27/2010 4:07:13 PM
Meh, I see it as individual choice.
I fully respect other peoples' choice to save sex until marriage, so long as they don't preach or look down upon those of us who don't . :)

I have had sex before. My current boyfriend plans to save sex until marriage. I respect that and have no plans to try and change his mind. At the present time, I'm in it "for now", and will see how things go. He's a lovely guy, and treats me better than any guy I've been with before, so I don't feel that a lack of sex is a reason (for me personally - I know everyone's different) to turn him down.
Yes, I may change my mind about wanting sex some time down the road, but I'm only 20... I've decided (for the moment) not to pass up a good relationship that makes me happy just because it may not last for ever.
 TedJMill
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 138
view profile
History
No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/30/2010 10:11:18 AM
I'd be happy with no sex before marriage, though in my case it's because I tend toward the asexual, and am happy with no sex, period.
 moonwalkerman
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 139
view profile
History
No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/30/2010 1:12:41 PM
I would say that you set yourself up for possibly a huge disappointment, but one that cannot be easily rectified. Imagine you marry the woman, than you have sex with her and find out that she does nothing to you sexually, or simply speaking, sex with her doesn't turn you on. There is a real possibility for that. Now you are married to her, what do you do ? A messy divorce ? Plus, you wasted all the time before marriage being with her...although, admittedly, it is up to you to enjoy a sexless relationship.
As Brad Pitt says in 'Legends of the Fall'..."I still recommend f&^%$#".
There is a pretty good indie movie out there called 'The Last Run", it pretty much brings it down to what sex is all about...you should go rent it.
 Chananigans33
Joined: 11/27/2010
Msg: 140
No sex before marriage
Posted: 12/4/2010 5:32:21 AM
Right on, kojak488!

Personally, I'm waiting until I'm married and I'm perfectly content with that choice. I don't judge people who have premarital sex and I'd appreciate it if people didn't judge me on my decision to wait. I don't care if you disagree with it, but please respect it. Everyone's different. :)
 Shocknawe7575
Joined: 10/4/2009
Msg: 141
No sex before marriage
Posted: 12/4/2010 9:23:33 AM
Ya know it is a tough one with me. I have pretty much grown up in the Church and have been born again since I was 20. I have allways heard to wait until marrage and kept that for a number of years. I would wait while people around me did what thay wanted and said another thing. I past up on girls that I really liked and they liked me over this. I waited while people I went to church with were pounding away and getting married and I am alone doing the right thing.

Well time has past and now I am 35, have I waited no, I have been pretty active my last few years 2 engagments and one sorta gf and a couple flings. I will be honest I don't want to be a whore or anything but Ill admit I love the faster girls.. My First fiancee we did it on the first date my second one first week and my last GF or what ever was first date as well. I joke that im a hit it and stay wid it guy not a hit it and quit it lol. I don't know I still go to church as much as I can I love jesus but im 35. I don't know I get upset at myself at times and look back and think I blew it when I was younger but then I can be happy with the fact that, I am not devorced and I don't have any kids. So in that reguard I guess I am good, but I wish I had someone. Oh well that is why I am here.

So as far as waiting I totaly respect that belief and feel it is right, but it is a hard one to obey. There was only once were I was like na, it was a girl that had a kid wanting to wait till marrage. I was like you have a kid and want to wait? Bye. Still I can respect people and there beliefs.

Cheers.
 Dan99993
Joined: 11/29/2010
Msg: 142
No sex before marriage
Posted: 12/4/2010 10:17:24 AM
I doubt it's such a good idea, since people can be sexually incompatible. It's even worse if they don't have any idea of what they're like sexually. They can't even talk about it with their partner (if they choose to avoid sex).

It may work at times but it seems to be a rather archaic notion. It also presumes that there's something wrong with having sex before marriage, which I think is false.

Love and being with someone you're compatible with may be enough to overcome most problems later.
But is it worth it just because of a belief which doesn't have much to do with reality
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 143
No sex before marriage
Posted: 12/5/2010 12:07:50 PM
I see sex before marriage like test driving a car. Most people would want to see if they like it before they buy it. I'm not one to say by the 3rd, 5th whatever date but at the same time I want to have sex before I marry someone. Its part of the equation for happiness for me.

Without at least good sex or without a sexual attraction I could not date much less marry someone.

I can see why some people would desire to do this and that's fine its just not for me,
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 144
No sex before marriage
Posted: 12/5/2010 1:52:36 PM
I think it's a form of bullying to be telling someone that that they are an idiot, because of their belief system/faith.

I don't -- and I think people can be idiots when they think a "faith" or "belief system" somehow protects they themselves from being idiots.

How about a cultural system where they sacrificed people? Or prevent women from driving? Or allow guys to Properly beat their wives? Or stopping their kid from getting a blood transfusion, and allow him/her to die? Or the basic idiocy of "going by your gut" or "God told me to do this" and doing something completely screwball? Or how about marrying & then having sex with "women" at 13?

Who the h#ll do you think you are?

Well, I can't speak for him, but I know for myself -- by your rationale, all I have to say is it's my "belief system" and therefore I can't be strongly criticized. :) See how silly that (who-the-hell-came-up-with-that) idea is?

Marrying girls under 16 is an old-time traditional "value". Arranged marriages or relationships BEING marriages is an old-time traditional "value". There are idiotic values out there, some WERE dumb, and some are just idiotic depending on the environment, and we all can look back not that far back in time and see idiot "values".

Someone not wanting to have sex before marriage (and stick to it)? Good luck. Same goes with people ONLY to have sex to procreate for better 'values' (which means no sex on wedding night if you're not set to have kids quite yet).

I think it's silly to split hairs over one's "values" -- okay, whatever. But ridiculous "values", touted by folks who tout it and pride themselves as if they're on higher pedestals and being "better" -- deserve to be called out on it, because they ask for it.... and it's irresponsible to allow poor values to be spread. One can't use "oh, it's my 'faith' or 'belief system'" as a shield -- why should it?
 _eunique
Joined: 6/9/2011
Msg: 145
No sex before marriage
Posted: 8/11/2011 4:42:35 AM
You are not the only one! How sad is it that almost every guy feels entitled to have sex with you simply bc he asks for it? As in, messages on Thursday, on the phone by Friday, and wanting hot sex on a platter by Saturday! I am not in a wild animal kingdom! But this is the dating world I deal with. I choose to abstain because of irresponsible and gullible people have been infected with life-altering diseases. Check out the HIV thread in the POF forums!

The problems I had in my adult life stemmed from pre-marital sex. I am on the rebound of reclaiming my peaceful life. But to each his own: fornication is not my road to happiness in life. I need something more
 HotkittySeeker
Joined: 7/22/2011
Msg: 146
No sex before marriage
Posted: 8/11/2011 6:28:48 AM
This is not a good idea at all. Before you give me the old he wants it before he pays for it crap let me say this. Sex is one of the most beautiful things in a marriage. If you are not sexually compatible with your mate it can cause problems for you and her. If she is not being satisfied and believe don't think that a woman does not want to be sexually satisfied, and you ladies can stop smirking anytime, you are sadly mistaken. I am not Fabio material, but I have done my share of the chicks, married and single, and most were pickups by the lady, I am shy by nature. But the big thing for the married chicks was being satisfied by a little attention and tenderness and a good workout with a partner she is compatible with that took away that tension. Here is a little test you can try to see if she is for you. If you go up to her from behind and place your arms around her she will react in three ways. One if she pushes her body into yours and reaches her arm up around your neck that is a complete sexual submission to you. If she places a little pressure against you and places her arms on yours with hers in a downward position she is with you but not completely. If she holds your arms firmly that is a standoff move and that's trouble. Hope it helps just my twentyfive cents
 sexypunkgirl
Joined: 1/16/2011
Msg: 147
No sex before marriage
Posted: 8/11/2011 10:27:27 PM
I didnt read what other posters said but, HELLS NO.

Would you buy a used car with out test driving it first? I sure as heck hope not. And thats a commitment. Not to many people buy a new car every month. typically you keep it for several years. Do you want to be stuck with a junker that has no AC? crappy breaks? a radio that doesnt work? and stalls out everytime you stop at a light?

So theres my point. Why would you commit to someone for the rest of your life with out even knowing what the sex is like. Which is the major part of any good relationship. Great sex can make a relationship as well as bad sex can break one. If the girl you marry is into gagballs and chains, and kinky stuff like i donno, asphyxiation. BUt that stuff would have you running out the door screaming for your mommy, how can you stay married to her? you wont satisfy her and she will just find what she needs some where else.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 148
view profile
History
No sex before marriage
Posted: 8/12/2011 1:21:59 AM
Hotkitty ^^^^^ GOOD ANSWER!!!!
 _eunique
Joined: 6/9/2011
Msg: 149
No sex before marriage
Posted: 8/12/2011 8:32:37 AM
I'd prefer "Lease with an option to buy..."

That requires a contract and a sense of committment.

Otherwise, find a rental car with too many dings and dents from the numerous careless drivers from its past.
 poetfury
Joined: 6/16/2010
Msg: 150
No sex before marriage
Posted: 8/12/2011 10:11:34 AM
wow,America (and likly the rest of the world) has really gone downhill morally. Since when do you need to"test out a car before buying"? What exactly does this really mean? If her titties are'nt big enough or his wang hangs to the wrong side are you going to not be in love with him/her? Since when does SEX mean more than LOVE? Good relationships have their intimacy,but that does'nt mean you should be out there f*cking someone as a test of how worthwhile they are. A****is a****and a **** is a ****,they all work the same way.
 sexypunkgirl
Joined: 1/16/2011
Msg: 151
No sex before marriage
Posted: 8/12/2011 12:14:20 PM
It means exactly what i said in my post. I am extremely kinky in the bed room. If i end up with a guy who just wants to hop on top. Go at it for a few min, flip me over, and then hes finished. wtf... I will be very very unhappy in the bed room. Months of unhappiness turn to years, years turn to a life time. WHy settle? Theres no reason to when i can find a guy who makes me happy in and out of the bed room
 poetfury
Joined: 6/16/2010
Msg: 152
No sex before marriage
Posted: 8/12/2011 10:12:13 PM
To each their own. I just see clearly why relationships in America are on a downward spiral and marriage does'nt last anymore.
 sexypunkgirl
Joined: 1/16/2011
Msg: 153
No sex before marriage
Posted: 8/12/2011 10:33:16 PM
I dont see why they dont last. I had my High school boyfriend as one guy I dated. But the last 3 years of that relationship were going down hill. Wont bother getting into that of course. And now my current boyfriend who i have been with for almost 4 years. Ive had nothing but lasting relationships

Besides if i waited till i got married i would end up a 30 year old virgin. I dont see why I should be missing out on pleasure for half my life.

BUt you are 100% correct. To each their own. And no one can fault anyone for that.
 r3320ca
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 154
view profile
History
No sex before marriage
Posted: 4/30/2016 7:56:02 PM
I personally have already lost my virginity but after have been saved by Jesus I feel that I should wait till marriage before having a sexualaly active life style.. Being totally celibate. No porn, no sex, no masterbation. Hard to do? Yes, probably closer to devine because it's next to impossible but I can a asure you with the power of the holy spirit and a little faith it can be done..

I want to meet a women with same view and if she too is on same path she would be exploding inside just as much and I feel like getting to know one another before getting hitched would be so much more enhanced or intense..
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 155
view profile
History
No sex before marriage
Posted: 5/3/2016 8:49:26 PM
^^^ You said "hard", heeheeheehee!
It's one of those things that is really dependant on the couple. Some people can find that they are completely sexually incompatible. It would be very unfortunate to be stuck in a marriage with someone that you are incompatible with.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > No sex before marriage