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 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 66
No sex before marriagePage 5 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

I lost my virginty to my husband and I am so glad I waited to give it to my husband

Looking at you profile I suspect your husband was far from a virgin though. I might be wrong, but I'd guess he was a very experienced and considerate lover, which made your first time memorable.

I get what you are saying about the virtues of waiting, but you only have to wait for an experienced and considerate partner, and marriage won't ever guarantee that.
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 67
No sex before marriage
Posted: 10/14/2010 4:33:41 AM
Jrj:

It is an excellent idea but not many people in here have old fashioned values. It's a better way to know someone mental, intellectually and emotionally without all the strings attached with having sex.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 68
No sex before marriage
Posted: 10/14/2010 5:21:16 AM

Dumb idea period. Would you buy a car without test driving it first? Would you buy a house without looking at it?

If the answer is no above, then why the hell would you commit your life to someone who you may not be sexually compatible with?

The religion argument is as old as the fairy tale itself. People are either sexually compatible or they are not. You know pretty quickly and no two are alike.





Actually, it's totally relevant and a good analogy. I've rejected cars after a test drive, for good reasons that couldn't be discerned prior to that.



well Is it ??? I test drove one wife ...and was struck with that new woman/car fever ...actually she drove fine ....and was a classy looking ride ....the sex was magnificent... I was in heaven I thought ..I had done everything right according to POF standards ..we met started dating held off on sex for a couple months ... talked about everything ...got engaged ..made commitment...had wonderful sex ...got married ....two months later she turned into a lemon ...stopped wanting sex ..when we did have sex she never wanted to do the exciting things we use to do ..a year and half later I caught her cheating ...got divorce ...she remarried to her new lover ... and has cheated on him numerous times or so the word is


that was my first attempt at wife shopping

My next attempt went like this ...we met and I test drove on the first date ...she was a good ride though not a sports car like the first one ..we dated about a year ..and I signed papers on her ..I have had her about 30 years .. have added several modifications that made her drive better ..yes there have been times when she wouldn' t run for me .. there have been problems that we had to fix..I even got rid of her once but found that others were not as dependable as she was ...so I went and got her back ..we have been around the block several times together ..and now after 30 something years she looks and drives better than any of the ones I test drove back then ..and now I just cant see me driving any other vehicle

and the point about this metaphor... It really matters not whether you test drive or not ..you can still get a lemon .. many people are so new car struck ..that it would not matter how she drove on the test drive they would buy her any way .. did you know that it is customary for car lots to put high octane gas and even octane booster in their cars just so they will perform better on the test drive ... so the test drive is not what you will be getting after you buy her ..and on the other hand some people just like test driving ..they have no intention of buying ..these tend to be well practiced drivers and the test drive is really exhilarating ..if these guys did buy after the new wore off they usually don't take care of her ..they immediately start test driving other cars
 DemonLeather
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 69
No sex before marriage
Posted: 10/15/2010 10:33:07 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Well,.. since I've been married 2.6 times,.. The world is my oyster! Sex is mine,for the having! What a wonderful feeling! Now that I've tasted the rewards of holy (well unholy for the 1st one )"matress-emony" I am now allowed before God & everyone to have sex..
Comon now people,.. I've said this before, I suppose I'll say it a LOT more Victorian-Era stuff belongs in the antique store. As far as the Moral majotity goes,. go dictate to another sheep, because the bad one has got the "Flock" outta here And if you want to thump me over the head with the bible, or the Scarlet"A" code book,.. waste yer time all you want. you'd be better off rolling that stuff up and sticking it where your sex toy usually goes
 Steffo74
Joined: 10/8/2006
Msg: 70
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No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/24/2010 11:28:53 PM
have sex, god will forgive you
 harmonyharvest
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 71
No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/24/2010 11:31:44 PM
I think whatever you are comfortable with is how you shall remain. Be cozy in your own skin and don't change you. It does not matter what everyone else thinks or agrees upon, as long as you agree what you are doing is the best way/best choice to make hon.

May you be wise to see the whole picture......within yourself
 Yew4ics
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 72
No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/25/2010 4:23:18 AM

The whole idea shouldn't be supported, if someone doesn't want to have sex until marriage that's fine, be an idiot, but the ideology behind it should be ridiculed for what it is, a way to control people.


I think it's a form of bullying to be telling someone that that they are an idiot, because of their belief system/faith. Who the h#ll do you think you are? Everyone has their own set of values, and I would never tell someone that mine is better than theirs, if they choose to wait.
 Yew4ics
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 73
No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/25/2010 5:44:09 AM
axl, I hae to keep reminding myself how young you are. Tolerance, respect and reverence for others faith, and such, are things that come with time and experience. Right now, you have all the answers, and haven't been humbled yet.
 kojaks488
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 74
No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/25/2010 3:22:34 PM
Actually, boyo (axl617), the fact that you can't think of a better word to describe someone with a moral fibre proves what Yew4ics said about you.

I don't believe in waiting to have sex before marriage nor do I understand how people can. What I do know is that a lot of these people with such values get pleasure and joy from holding to them. To simply call these people idiots because they don't view the world the same as you, or hold views that you denote idiotic, shows your immaturity.

Of course you're entitled to your opinion, no matter how sour it may be. To put it in terms you might understand from Peter Griffin: I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
 KJamal99
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 75
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No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/27/2010 1:19:47 PM
I'm capable of that...

Although I think it might be okay if marriage is imminent. Like if you're engaged and wedding plans are in the works.

All that talk about having to know if you are sexually compatible, that's kinda blah to me. I mean, if it's not perfect that first time, don't you have the rest of your lives together to learn to"practice" and to perfect it. If you have to know beforehand, I suppose you could discuss sex with the person - meaning finding out what they will or will not do, etc.
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 76
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No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/27/2010 4:07:13 PM
Meh, I see it as individual choice.
I fully respect other peoples' choice to save sex until marriage, so long as they don't preach or look down upon those of us who don't . :)

I have had sex before. My current boyfriend plans to save sex until marriage. I respect that and have no plans to try and change his mind. At the present time, I'm in it "for now", and will see how things go. He's a lovely guy, and treats me better than any guy I've been with before, so I don't feel that a lack of sex is a reason (for me personally - I know everyone's different) to turn him down.
Yes, I may change my mind about wanting sex some time down the road, but I'm only 20... I've decided (for the moment) not to pass up a good relationship that makes me happy just because it may not last for ever.
 TedJMill
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 77
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History
No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/30/2010 10:11:18 AM
I'd be happy with no sex before marriage, though in my case it's because I tend toward the asexual, and am happy with no sex, period.
 moonwalkerman
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 78
No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/30/2010 1:12:41 PM
I would say that you set yourself up for possibly a huge disappointment, but one that cannot be easily rectified. Imagine you marry the woman, than you have sex with her and find out that she does nothing to you sexually, or simply speaking, sex with her doesn't turn you on. There is a real possibility for that. Now you are married to her, what do you do ? A messy divorce ? Plus, you wasted all the time before marriage being with her...although, admittedly, it is up to you to enjoy a sexless relationship.
As Brad Pitt says in 'Legends of the Fall'..."I still recommend f&^%$#".
There is a pretty good indie movie out there called 'The Last Run", it pretty much brings it down to what sex is all about...you should go rent it.
 Chananigans33
Joined: 11/27/2010
Msg: 79
No sex before marriage
Posted: 12/4/2010 5:32:21 AM
Right on, kojak488!

Personally, I'm waiting until I'm married and I'm perfectly content with that choice. I don't judge people who have premarital sex and I'd appreciate it if people didn't judge me on my decision to wait. I don't care if you disagree with it, but please respect it. Everyone's different. :)
 Shocknawe7575
Joined: 10/4/2009
Msg: 80
No sex before marriage
Posted: 12/4/2010 9:23:33 AM
Ya know it is a tough one with me. I have pretty much grown up in the Church and have been born again since I was 20. I have allways heard to wait until marrage and kept that for a number of years. I would wait while people around me did what thay wanted and said another thing. I past up on girls that I really liked and they liked me over this. I waited while people I went to church with were pounding away and getting married and I am alone doing the right thing.

Well time has past and now I am 35, have I waited no, I have been pretty active my last few years 2 engagments and one sorta gf and a couple flings. I will be honest I don't want to be a whore or anything but Ill admit I love the faster girls.. My First fiancee we did it on the first date my second one first week and my last GF or what ever was first date as well. I joke that im a hit it and stay wid it guy not a hit it and quit it lol. I don't know I still go to church as much as I can I love jesus but im 35. I don't know I get upset at myself at times and look back and think I blew it when I was younger but then I can be happy with the fact that, I am not devorced and I don't have any kids. So in that reguard I guess I am good, but I wish I had someone. Oh well that is why I am here.

So as far as waiting I totaly respect that belief and feel it is right, but it is a hard one to obey. There was only once were I was like na, it was a girl that had a kid wanting to wait till marrage. I was like you have a kid and want to wait? Bye. Still I can respect people and there beliefs.

Cheers.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 81
No sex before marriage
Posted: 12/5/2010 12:07:50 PM
I see sex before marriage like test driving a car. Most people would want to see if they like it before they buy it. I'm not one to say by the 3rd, 5th whatever date but at the same time I want to have sex before I marry someone. Its part of the equation for happiness for me.

Without at least good sex or without a sexual attraction I could not date much less marry someone.

I can see why some people would desire to do this and that's fine its just not for me,
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 82
No sex before marriage
Posted: 12/5/2010 1:52:36 PM
I think it's a form of bullying to be telling someone that that they are an idiot, because of their belief system/faith.

I don't -- and I think people can be idiots when they think a "faith" or "belief system" somehow protects they themselves from being idiots.

How about a cultural system where they sacrificed people? Or prevent women from driving? Or allow guys to Properly beat their wives? Or stopping their kid from getting a blood transfusion, and allow him/her to die? Or the basic idiocy of "going by your gut" or "God told me to do this" and doing something completely screwball? Or how about marrying & then having sex with "women" at 13?

Who the h#ll do you think you are?

Well, I can't speak for him, but I know for myself -- by your rationale, all I have to say is it's my "belief system" and therefore I can't be strongly criticized. :) See how silly that (who-the-hell-came-up-with-that) idea is?

Marrying girls under 16 is an old-time traditional "value". Arranged marriages or relationships BEING marriages is an old-time traditional "value". There are idiotic values out there, some WERE dumb, and some are just idiotic depending on the environment, and we all can look back not that far back in time and see idiot "values".

Someone not wanting to have sex before marriage (and stick to it)? Good luck. Same goes with people ONLY to have sex to procreate for better 'values' (which means no sex on wedding night if you're not set to have kids quite yet).

I think it's silly to split hairs over one's "values" -- okay, whatever. But ridiculous "values", touted by folks who tout it and pride themselves as if they're on higher pedestals and being "better" -- deserve to be called out on it, because they ask for it.... and it's irresponsible to allow poor values to be spread. One can't use "oh, it's my 'faith' or 'belief system'" as a shield -- why should it?
 _eunique
Joined: 6/9/2011
Msg: 83
No sex before marriage
Posted: 8/11/2011 4:42:35 AM
You are not the only one! How sad is it that almost every guy feels entitled to have sex with you simply bc he asks for it? As in, messages on Thursday, on the phone by Friday, and wanting hot sex on a platter by Saturday! I am not in a wild animal kingdom! But this is the dating world I deal with. I choose to abstain because of irresponsible and gullible people have been infected with life-altering diseases. Check out the HIV thread in the POF forums!

The problems I had in my adult life stemmed from pre-marital sex. I am on the rebound of reclaiming my peaceful life. But to each his own: fornication is not my road to happiness in life. I need something more
 sexypunkgirl
Joined: 1/16/2011
Msg: 84
No sex before marriage
Posted: 8/11/2011 10:27:27 PM
I didnt read what other posters said but, HELLS NO.

Would you buy a used car with out test driving it first? I sure as heck hope not. And thats a commitment. Not to many people buy a new car every month. typically you keep it for several years. Do you want to be stuck with a junker that has no AC? crappy breaks? a radio that doesnt work? and stalls out everytime you stop at a light?

So theres my point. Why would you commit to someone for the rest of your life with out even knowing what the sex is like. Which is the major part of any good relationship. Great sex can make a relationship as well as bad sex can break one. If the girl you marry is into gagballs and chains, and kinky stuff like i donno, asphyxiation. BUt that stuff would have you running out the door screaming for your mommy, how can you stay married to her? you wont satisfy her and she will just find what she needs some where else.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 85
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History
No sex before marriage
Posted: 8/12/2011 1:21:59 AM
Hotkitty ^^^^^ GOOD ANSWER!!!!
 _eunique
Joined: 6/9/2011
Msg: 86
No sex before marriage
Posted: 8/12/2011 8:32:37 AM
I'd prefer "Lease with an option to buy..."

That requires a contract and a sense of committment.

Otherwise, find a rental car with too many dings and dents from the numerous careless drivers from its past.
 sexypunkgirl
Joined: 1/16/2011
Msg: 87
No sex before marriage
Posted: 8/12/2011 12:14:20 PM
It means exactly what i said in my post. I am extremely kinky in the bed room. If i end up with a guy who just wants to hop on top. Go at it for a few min, flip me over, and then hes finished. wtf... I will be very very unhappy in the bed room. Months of unhappiness turn to years, years turn to a life time. WHy settle? Theres no reason to when i can find a guy who makes me happy in and out of the bed room
 sexypunkgirl
Joined: 1/16/2011
Msg: 88
No sex before marriage
Posted: 8/12/2011 10:33:16 PM
I dont see why they dont last. I had my High school boyfriend as one guy I dated. But the last 3 years of that relationship were going down hill. Wont bother getting into that of course. And now my current boyfriend who i have been with for almost 4 years. Ive had nothing but lasting relationships

Besides if i waited till i got married i would end up a 30 year old virgin. I dont see why I should be missing out on pleasure for half my life.

BUt you are 100% correct. To each their own. And no one can fault anyone for that.
 r3320ca
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 89
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No sex before marriage
Posted: 4/30/2016 7:56:02 PM
I personally have already lost my virginity but after have been saved by Jesus I feel that I should wait till marriage before having a sexualaly active life style.. Being totally celibate. No porn, no sex, no masterbation. Hard to do? Yes, probably closer to devine because it's next to impossible but I can a asure you with the power of the holy spirit and a little faith it can be done..

I want to meet a women with same view and if she too is on same path she would be exploding inside just as much and I feel like getting to know one another before getting hitched would be so much more enhanced or intense..
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 90
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No sex before marriage
Posted: 5/3/2016 8:49:26 PM
^^^ You said "hard", heeheeheehee!
It's one of those things that is really dependant on the couple. Some people can find that they are completely sexually incompatible. It would be very unfortunate to be stuck in a marriage with someone that you are incompatible with.
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