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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????      Home login  
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 Sherlock101
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 51
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Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
My story is not quite like the other's. She lived in another state but was moving to my area in a few months. She had contacted me first and we had some nice emails and phone chats before she moved here. When she did she contacted me and we agreed to meet at a bar in a local restaurant. I was there first and when she walked in she weighed about 20 more pounds than what her pictured showed and the picture was obviously at least 5 years old. The extra weight might not be much but she was petite. She also looked a bit stoned.
So we had conversation for abut 20 minutes and she seemed really nervous. I nudged her and told her to relax and at the very least just enjoy the time. A few minutes later she looked at me and said, I know I'm not for you but I really like you, will you be my friend. I said sure no problem.
When we left she asked if I would walk out on the dock with her which I did. When we got out there she pulled a fat joint out of her purse and lit it up. She asked if I wanted some which I declined. I was just laughing to myself thinking of the POF date stories...
 flappo77
Joined: 2/6/2009
Msg: 52
Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 4/9/2010 2:59:41 PM
No offense but from the description you give of the guy, you sound extremely insulting and judgmental. Maybe a cup of tea just isn't his cup'o'tea and he was doing it for you. No appreciation there tho.
 LG2727
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 53
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Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 4/9/2010 8:39:11 PM
How about less then 5 minutes? This loser walks in to the place we were to meet, either already drunk and or on drugs. All he kept saying was "wow" as he stared at me, how creepy...then the bartender turned him down when he tried to order a drink, I got up and walked out.
 Haven_11
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 54
Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/6/2010 1:01:45 PM
I drove 45 minutes away to meet someone. I felt safer that way, so I could leave if I wanted and not worry about being followed 45 mins on the interstate back to my town. I meet this guy who I exchanged great great emails with. Then we IMed, which were so much fun! He was funny and I could joke and tease with him. I actually enjoyed the conversations so much after about 2-weeks, I pushed for a meet. So, he agrees and I tell him since he knows his town better than I, to pick out a place where we could play pool and have a few drinks. A small bar with a table or a Pool Hall. THEN, I see a different side. He started asking me nick-picky questions as if he had no confidence in himself and it actually was a "worry" flag for me. But, I impressed upon him that, yes! Any place was great! That I just wanted to have the same conversations with him "Live" as we did in our IM's.
So, I get there! OH GOOD GOD!! LOL!! Well, its my fault for opening up too much, I guess. I shouldn't have mentioned how my deceased ex spoke to me and how it effected my confidence and how I appeared to others.
Though that wasn't an issue until after I walked out on him.
HE started talking right off acting if we were already "dating". Talked about future stuff that I was confused about.......he dragged his feet on meeting me, but our conversations were great for those 2-weeks, so how I all of a sudden become his girlfriend?? I pointed this out politely, several times AND shied away from his rubbing my knees and trying to kiss me on the lips.....Every time I pointed these things out, He'd apologise and say lets "Start Over" after the third start over, I was getting shaky and nervous and my stomach was about sick! I told him how many "start overs" was it going to take for him to realize that there shouldn't have been any at all! I told him I was sorry, but I couldn't do this and I walked right out the front door. The jerk emailed me later(met him on POF)and told me he wished that I would meet and marry a man who treated me like my dead ex did. Needless to say, I was upset and my ex hadn't been "deceased" for very long. I still had alot of guilt over our relationship and how things were before I finally ended it for good.(He died 5-months later) Anyway, the jerk Blocked me from making any comments back, so I did the next best thing. I created a "new" profile, just for him and then emailed him a really great rebuttal as soon as the message was sent, I deleted the profile.

Hell Hath No Fury............And you know the rest. LOL!!
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 55
Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/6/2010 1:44:04 PM

so I did the next best thing. I created a "new" profile, just for him and then emailed him a really great rebuttal as soon as the message was sent, I deleted the profile.


That was quite immature on your part to 'get the last laugh.' Instead, you should not have given him an audience at all. Both of you are as guilty as the other with high school and silly games.

It's as simple or as complicated as that.
 sharptack
Joined: 9/25/2010
Msg: 56
Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/6/2010 2:52:17 PM
Ms. P`
I had to laugh when I read this! It is sooo true.

:

I looked at your profile and see that we are from the same state(SC)


He had no hunting and mudding or Nascar interests which gave me hope..
Google my age range..help!!!
If I don't want to watch Nascar it seems I am doomed here.


Add to that...fishing, football, nicknames like Bubba, and for me... even boating.
I despair! Will I ever be free of this hot, humid, lowcountry provincial swampland?
And this is why I can't find a date! I must be too picky and shouldn't be! HA!
I really can identify with you on that Ms. P. Good luck to us both.


 1eastshore
Joined: 11/3/2010
Msg: 57
Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/6/2010 6:43:23 PM
All of my first dates / meetings lasted at least 45 minutes to a hour. I had dates that were unsuccessful. But most likely the only time I would leave early is if I felt unsafe.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 58
Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/7/2010 3:33:17 AM

No offense but from the description you give of the guy, you sound extremely insulting and judgmental.


Oh for faawks sake, the guy was tweeking.
Dam right ..Show up sober......jay sus
YOU date him..I hear he cooks.


If he wasn't into me..I take it as a compliment.
Like attracts like IMO.


I looked at your profile and see that we are from the same state(SC)

Heck you are in my air space..I bet I could hear you scream.

You are about 15-20 minutes away..We stand a better chance at winning the lotto unless we want someone over 65 from one of the islands.

Most of those think life is golf,bridge, shagging, hot tubs and "sa wingin".



Swamps are cool though..an acquired taste
 golfmonk
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 59
Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/7/2010 6:06:58 AM

Most of those think life is golf,bridge, shagging, hot tubs and "sa wingin".


Whats wrong with golf and hot tubs??? LOL

Now, bridge has no appeal for me and I can't comment on the remaining two. ;-) Got to run; I have a tee time this morning to attend too!
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 60
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Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/7/2010 12:29:28 PM
I agreed to meet an older gentleman whose bio said he was a "healthy, mentally sharp, vigorous man" ... "looks younger than his age" ... etc. ... stressed how intelligent he was ... he just put "retired" ... instead of WHAT he was retired FROM ...

after a few e-mails, and a couple phone calls where he sounded alright ... had a grumbily voice, sounded like he may have smoked in the past ... then he insisted on meeting for breakfast ... we met ... I got there about 15 minutes early ... he was ALREADY sitting at the table ... but did not get up to greet me ... sort of waved across the room ...

I look EXACTLY like my photo ... ok ... my hair's been cut so it's a bit shorter ... but I look just like me ... I'm the only one who does! he looked a little older than his photo ...

he seemed grumpy, grunted answers to my questions, rarely initiated comments or started conversations ... I tried several times ... finally gave up and we ate in silence ... we probably looked like those sad old married couples who have nothing left to say to each other ...

then he fell asleep ... I sat there and stared in disbelief as this "healthy, mentally sharp, vigorous" gentleman fell asleep ... his eyes closed peacefully and his head rolled toward his right shoulder ... I wondered if he was having some sort of acute medical problem ... but then his head rolled to the front, chin resting on his chest and he snored ... slowly his body started tipping forward ... I watched ... no one else in the restaurant noticed ... nobody notices old couples ... his forehead came maybe two inches from falling into his half-eaten sunny-side-up eggs and bacon ... when he jerked awake, sat up and actually started talking, apparently in the middle of some sentence he'd been dreaming he was saying ... he reached for his toast and put jam on it ...

he did this twice during the meal ...

I tried to pay my share of the tab but he INSISTED on paying ... he did NOT walk me to my truck but walked straight out the restaurant door and, without saying good-bye, got into his truck and drove away ...

when I got home, I immediately sent him a "thank-you e-mail" ... he never responded ...

his bio is still online ... unchanged ... "healthy, mentally sharp, vigorous man!" ok ... "looks younger than his age" ... alright ... so much for truth in advertising ...
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 61
Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/7/2010 12:45:42 PM
"My question.........
Has anyone just" thrown the money down and run" so to speak or
Has anyone ever had a shorter meet than 20 minutes and why????"

I met a guy for coffee who acted a little bit like yours peppermint
Nervous, jittery, lots of hand movements
He seemed so normal via e-mails,
He told me right away
He was on a program, that was going to save his life
I asked what kind of program
He said it was through his church and it was designed to rid him of his "problem'
I asked again, what is the problem?
It turns out, he has been gay for the last 20 years
and the church program insist "gay" can be cured
So as part of the program he must date women
until he gets used to it.
That date lasted 15minutes and my five was on the table
Too bad, he had impecable taste in shoes.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 62
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Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/7/2010 9:26:11 PM
I had a first meet that lasted 15-20 minutes.

He was in town temporarily but came here often. We'd exchanged just a few emails so I hadn't gotten to know him very well online first. We met in his hotel lobby and then proceeded to walk about eight blocks to a place I know. The guy was overly familiar from the moment I met him. I'm someone who likes to sit/stand fairly close to people, but this guy was right in my face. I kept backing away and every time I did, he'd move closer. Then he kept putting his hand on my back while we were walking. I'd move away from him and he'd put it back. It was *way* too familiar for me *way* too quickly. I finally stopped and told him and he got very defensive and argued with me. So I called it off.

I posted about it here and lots of people jumped on me like I was some kind of cold fish, an accusation that those who know me would find laughable. I'm very physical and affectionate with friends, dance closely with sometimes total strangers, but I also insist on people respecting my boundaries. I do not like men I don't know putting their hands on me without permission. It's my body and I get to decide who touches it and how and when.

Worst first meet I've ever had in my life.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 63
Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/7/2010 11:06:17 PM

It turns out, he has been gay for the last 20 years
and the church program insist "gay" can be cured
So as part of the program he must date women
until he gets used to it.


If they can cure gay maybe they can cure stupid..Hmmm?
Until he no longer pukes at the thought? Can actually let one touch him and maybe marry? Oh geez..
I think that is a lot weirder than my experience..You almost expect to run into a few drunks and druggies..but one FORCED to be with a woman to"deprogram him" OMG lmaoooo

Some church..yeah marry him off..great.
We could start a whole thread on "churchy" people.I got some stories there LOL

arwen..Only we that are near the man can tell if he is a creep..
Funny I have told men they have creepy friends like that..Men do not get that creep vibe that we do..it's downright sinister..makes your flesh crawl.
GTFOM..

No it doesn't make you a cold fish AT all.
Been there myself..

Golf in itself not bad up there^^^^^^^^^ just don't expect me to play nor watch it on TV..
Lot worse things a man could do..
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 64
Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/8/2010 8:55:02 AM
"If they can cure gay maybe they can cure stupid..Hmmm?
Until he no longer pukes at the thought? Can actually let one touch him and maybe marry?'

Yep, that's the thinking
And lucky me I was the choosen one, by the church members too, I found out
Apparently they all sat down infront of the computer and decided I was a perfect candidate
Boy, did they get it wrong!

I didn't even make it to the 20 minutes on that one
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 65
Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/8/2010 11:34:55 AM
Less than 3 minutes...
Woman I had had several emails with saw I was on line and asked me to join her and some friends at some martini bar in the city. It was already late, and I'm not really the martini bar kind of guy, but she talked me into it. I cleaned up and drove across the bay and found the place. I went in, got a beer at the bar for the price of a freakin'keg, then started looking for her. Saw her waving at me and crossed the room. Start count down... We introduced ourselves and she asked if I thought she looked like her pictures. Then her phone rings, she answers, hangs up and says she has to leave because her mother is dying.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 66
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Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/8/2010 8:02:42 PM
Beershark ... did she invite you to the funeral?

Arwen ... I went on a meet and greet with a man who simply could not keep his hands to himself ... touching my hand ... caressing my shoulder ... he might have been perfectly nice but, when we were walking, he kept grabbing at my elbow and almost knocking me down! weird, that ... someone told me that he had "old fashioned manners" ... hmmmm ...
 Fierysunlvr
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 67
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Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/9/2010 6:45:45 AM
Wow, this guy did seem like he was on drugs or needed anti-pyschotics or perhaps was on them and was having side effects.

Online dating sucks. Good thing you didn't give him your phone number.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 68
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Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/10/2010 4:15:12 PM

I'll never understand why a woman will get upset or end a date early if everything else is going great, but the man likes to put his hand on the small of her back or sits too close. I know that personal boundaries are important to a lot of people, but I should think it wouldn't be a big enough issue to send an otherwise nice guy packing. After all, if he does turn out to be a swell person and the relationship progresses, he will obviously be touching you at some point in the near future. I've been on dates where I ditched out because a woman was too affectionate, but only because I wasn't attracted to her or she didn't have much going in the way of personality. If I was actually interested in the person, the fact that she expressed that same interest by touching my arm or walking too close really wouldn't bother me.


Just cuz you don't understand it now, don't say you'll "never" understand it. Why limit yourself? And if you never understand it, you could end up being one of those guys.

Here's the deal - we've all got our comfort levels. I'm someone who likes to sit fairly close and likes a fair amount of contact. I also know that not everyone does. If I'm sitting closely to someone and I notice them leaning back or moving away a bit, I back off. When you invade people's comfort zone, you make them uncomfortable. If you do that continually, they are not going to be around you.

Even people with whom you are physically intimate have boundaries and they should be respected. You ever go with a girl who is hanging all over you all the time, too much of the time? It is *not* pleasant.

This guy kept putting his hands on me from the moment we met. I kept moving away and he kept doing it. I finally told him flat out and he argued with me about it. No way would I ever get involved with someone who was so completely clueless and did not respect my boundaries.

A person's body belongs to them and they get to decide who puts their hands on it and when. Always.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 69
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Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/10/2010 4:38:15 PM
his bio is still online ... unchanged ... "healthy, mentally sharp, vigorous man!" ok ... "looks younger than his age" ... alright ... so much for truth in advertising ...


Sad thing is, he probably believes it.

I tell guys that the factual information is correct at the time I write it (age, height, weight, etc.) however, other statements are the author's opinion. I could be delusional, as your date clearly was. It's up to them to decide for themselves if I'm portraying myself fairly. So far, no one has complained.



You mention that finally you told him flat out it was inappropriate and you argued.


The first time he did it, I simply moved away. He did it again and I moved away again. He did it again and I moved away again. So finally I told him, politely, that he kept putting his hand on my back and I didn't care for it, that I didn't know him yet and I didn't like men that I didn't know putting their hands on me without permission. He got very argumentative about it.

The date was not going well. It started off bad and got worse.

I don't expect anyone to read my mind. I also don't think every little thing has to be brought out immediately.

We had a guy in our dance circle who would do this, put his hands on women uninvited. He kept putting his hand on my friend's knee, she kept removing it, he kept putting it back. She had to remove it four times. I told her she should just tell him but she didn't want to cause a scene. There was a whole group out together. I happen to know that half the table would have applauded had she told him to keep his hands off her.

I've heard from some guys that women will do this, too, but most of the time it's women I hear complaining about it. So guys, listen up: if you put your hands on a woman you just met, or a woman you don't know very well, and she moves away from you or removes your hand, it means she doesn't want you to do it. Got it?

If we were already to the point of making out, that would have been entirely different. This was a first meet and he started within minutes. When making out, a woman removing your hand might mean "Not now, try again later," or it could mean, "Not now, try again next time," or it could mean, "Not now and not ever." Learning to distinguish them takes patience.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 70
Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/13/2010 1:31:06 AM
more f'n rules that nuclear non proliferation !
Now ya gotta make a 30 minute line on the clock to call it a date and see if ya get a second?

sumnabiatch; I am headed back to a cold war silo; at least they give ya all the 'rules' up front.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 71
Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/13/2010 3:41:56 AM

Now ya gotta make a 30 minute line on the clock to call it a date and see if ya get a second?p


No, but it is a safety net in case you do run across someone that unnerves you or makes you uncomfortable.
If you get along..ignore it..

Meeting strangers IMO you need an OUT that won't hurt feelings or cause a scene if they go wrong.
It gives the man an out also..

I have had 30 minute coffee/drink meets last 4 hours and then we decide to go dancing or make plans in the next day or so.

This was the exception to most first meets..an extreme case..thus the thread.

LOL @ Molly and arwen......Wait until you run into the "finger molester type" ..Holding your hand then playing with your finger by stroking up and down like finger intercourse..OH gawd!!! How creepy Lmaooooooooo.

He took a finger on each side of my finger on my left hand and slid his fingers up and down ..up and down.. slow and firm..Finally I took my hand and shook it and asked WTH??

I would have felt less invaded/creeped out had he grabbed a breast and gone HONK HONK.

Soap Soap!!!!!!


Online dating sucks. Good thing you didn't give him your phone number.

That is one rule I will not break with a local..I meet first. PERIOD.

If that offends them..We won't get along anyway.






 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 72
Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/13/2010 5:47:00 AM
Now ya gotta make a 30 minute line on the clock to call it a date and see if ya get a second?

You don't HAVE to do anything, including participating in dating. However, why NOT call it a 30 minute meet and see if it's mutual interest? It gives both of you an out if you're not interested. I don't see how that's a bad thing unless you take it personally and make it all about you. If you are both interested you can make plans to get together again and call it a real date, as there's tangible interest. No one likes anticipation anymore, huh? Shame.

Online dating will always be backwards from traditional dating because unless/until you meet - you don't know there's attraction or chemistry. So why not allow for that difference?
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 73
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Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/13/2010 5:55:29 AM

He got my hand to his mouth, gave it a brief peck, then kept holding it and started running his tongue in between my fingers where they meet the knuckle!
Bwahahahaha!!!




Certainly made me even more leery of online first meets for quite a while after that.
Coward... where's your sense of adventure...
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 74
Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/13/2010 6:23:49 AM
I've posted this on here somewhere before...
a first meet with a man who pulled a single blue pill out of his pocket and showed me, saying he brought it in case we need it!


peppermint.. I'm moving to your area and yep, I've noticed nascar, golf, and motorcycles are all very predominant. You go guys.. enjoy! But can you enjoy those things during our times apart and just tell me about them? Doesn't seem so. I'd love to 'share' in things you do.. but doesn't mean I have to 'do' those things also.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 75
Twenty minutes and five dollars ..What?????
Posted: 11/13/2010 12:27:37 PM

We went to shake hands and he started the motion like he was going to kiss my hand. Okay, a bit cheesy but whatever. Instead? He got my hand to his mouth, gave it a brief peck, then kept holding it and started running his tongue in between my fingers where they meet the knuckle! I was dumbfounded, wtf are you doing, buddy?


OH FFS!!! LYSOL.......................I think the grossest "dirty" joke i ever heard was to close your eyes and at the end the person licks your finger..Even men jump out of their skin at that one


I've posted this on here somewhere before...
a first meet with a man who pulled a single blue pill out of his pocket and showed me, saying he brought it in case we need it!


You should have told him with flared nostrils..Honey You gonna need 6 of those babies just to pass the end zone. Ahahahaha
OMG....... I would have died laughing!!

I will say I have been very lucky since first posting this..No more tweekers,drunks or such..I HAVE seem to run into the bible thumpers with hard ons lately..

I mean talk about GOD out of the mouth and all over you..with the hands.

Strategy changing time..I start e mailing men first or go out alone.

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