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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 54
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Well, if the other party limited the first "meet & greet" to 30 minutes and I would feel strong about this person, I would go to meet ... although on the other hand I do know that my appetite ... in life cannot be compressed to just 30 minutes. But hey, what is there to lose?

To impress someone ... oh deary deary me ... not my scene at all.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 55
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/22/2010 1:27:07 PM

I'd assume that if one was on a dating site, that their goal would be to connect with someone through the site and hopefully also in real life. Whether one "cares" or not is up to the individual.
No one "must" do anything and that was never implied.
"Dating police?" Sounds rather paranoid ?? Defensive??

I didn't want to quote you specifically because I wasn't really aiming that at you - rather anyone who feels being at home any night while single is or should be a bad thing. I agree that whether or not one cares is subjective, but those who do may date just to avoid it, which isn't the best reason. I know you didn't imply anyone must date, but I've heard statements like that and it does sometimes feel like people are using that mentality.

You took the "wink" out of the post. Perhaps you feel personally slighted, I don't know?

My mistake, honestly - I wasn't quoting you so I didn't catch the wink - or the exact text in your post. I was focusing on the word "alone" more or less.
Naahh I hardly feel personally slighted, I'm usually never home on Saturday unless I want to be. I agree with you that she may not have meant it as it sounded and and that he can meet her and find out what she's about if he feels it's worth it...at least I did until the OP added her "women dating losers on POF" statement. That changed my perception a little.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 56
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/22/2010 3:12:03 PM

at least I did until the OP added her "women dating losers on POF" statement. That changed my perception a little.
It changed mine at first read as well.. and then I thought well. if she's read some of the misandry and misogyny that's spewed in some of the "battle of the sexes" threads.. and she actually took it to heart.. Oye!!

.. and .. for what it's worth: I Always enjoy your intelligent, posted thoughts ..

Cheers.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 57
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/22/2010 6:22:59 PM

But, the fact of the matter is you aren't as sharp as you might think (by you, I don't mean YOU womaninprogress, I mean you as in the reader of this post). You are just meeting this person for the first time, you have NO IDEA what's going on. Maybe she/he is being somewhat aloof because they just had the worst day of their life. Maybe they just got some terrible news that they're distracted on. Maybe they're shy. Maybe you've really made a great impression and they're afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing to look foolish. YOU DON'T KNOW. YOU CAN'T KNOW.
All those "you don't knows" yet half (???) the men who frequent these forums would expect there was something wrong with our sex drive if we didn't have sex with you when WE DON'T KNOW.

Half (??) the men would say that there's no sense going out with a girl again if she doesn't "feel" it right away when possible that we just DON'T KNOW.

That is why I always say you HAVE to give people a chance... sorry you're not Dr. Phil, you're not a genius, you can't read minds.... you could potentially be throwing a great relationship because you think you know it all when you don't know shit - you just think you do.
Women have been trying to tell men for pages in the
"What does she mean when she says all her relationships were just sexual" and the girl wants to wait because just because SHE DOESN'T KNOW yet.

If the coffee date goes ok and she / he is willing to see you again, do it. What do you have to lose? Maybe they'll loosen up a little next time. The very fact that are willing to see you again means they are interested.
Same thing when a woman wants to wait to have sex. Yet.. it's perceive in a way that YOU DON'T KNOW.

Thanks for playing.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 58
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/23/2010 9:15:35 AM

And therein lies the problem with too many so-called relationships today.

Perhaps. Most relationships that I end up in do require an attraction though, and the beginnings of that attraction is something I can determine fairly quickly.

I will continue to hang out with someone I am fairly attracted to because it tends to grow the more I know, but if it ain't there in the first 10 minutes (at all) then it isn't going to magically appear.

None of us are as smart as we think we are. None of us are as perceptive and intuitive as we think we are. It takes more people a couple of days to figure out which car best suits them before they buy one - yet somehow they suddenly think they're 'geniuses' in figuring out something as complicated as a human being over a 20 minute cup of "what's your favorite movie" coffee. No wonder people can't find anything lasting more than a week.

I know when buying a car which one I don't want to have to look at another day, so I assume that I won't want to drive it nor do I care what the features are once that happens. Out of the ones I like the look of, sure I can spend a couple weeks learning what else they have to offer.

Now I'm not talking about meeting someone and after a 10 minutes realizing they are not for you - IF there is a glaring deal breaker that you simply cannot overlook. For instance she has kids and he hates kids. Obviously, it's not going any further.

A flat out lack of attraction IS a dealbreaker, because I tend to like to look at and or be near a guy I'm considering dating. Adding another 20 minutes usually only intensifies that fact.

But, the fact of the matter is you aren't as sharp as you might think (by you, I don't mean YOU womaninprogress, I mean you as in the reader of this post). You are just meeting this person for the first time, you have NO IDEA what's going on. Maybe she/he is being somewhat aloof because they just had the worst day of their life. Maybe they just got some terrible news that they're distracted on. Maybe they're shy. Maybe you've really made a great impression and they're afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing to look foolish. YOU DON'T KNOW. YOU CAN'T KNOW.

All I was saying is I know if there's an attraction to the guy. If there isn't - the rest (however interesting it may be) is irrelevant...at least romantically.

That is why I always say you HAVE to give people a chance... sorry you're not Dr. Phil, you're not a genius, you can't read minds.... you could potentially be throwing a great relationship because you think you know it all when you don't know shit - you just think you do.

If I am attracted to the guy? Of course he gets a chance beyond that. If I'm not - it becomes I wish I was but it's not there; and hoping it will change only leads him on (unless he's ok with hanging out despite lack of attraction).

If the coffee date goes ok and she / he is willing to see you again, do it. What do you have to lose? Maybe they'll loosen up a little next time. The very fact that are willing to see you again means they are interested.

That's great, and flattering and all. However if you're not interested due to no attraction none of that matters.

All that said, OT - if someone's attitude is that they don't want to waste time meeting losers like everyone else and they expect you to blow their socks off regardless of time frame or interest AND they actually set up a meeting by announcing that - then I'd say it's not starting things off on a good foot.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 59
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/24/2010 8:06:59 AM

Why would a woman bother giving tests is beyond me - I'm not a woman!


Actually, if you read or research any human behavior or psychology information...people test people all the time, often subconsciously..has nothing to do with gender...or romance even..men test other men, women test other women, whether it's romantic, work related, or social.....it's a mechanism for finding those that are compatible to your vision, or are "safe" for you, it's a defense mechanism, probably leftover from more primitive times...

There are some people who diabolically plot testing as a means to get what they want...but, I think that's rarer than some think it is...If we consciously thought about all our interactions during the day, I think we might be surprised that we do some testing as a matter of course...sometimes about minor things...sometimes major..employers typically test their employees, or new hires ,sometimes overtly...the truth is..most of us have to prove ourselves to employers, lovers, friends...sometimes even families...because actions do speak louder than words...

I'm still of the opinion that if the OP is interested enough to meet, it doesn't hurt to meet and see if it wasn't just a misunderstanding, a defense response, or even a little fear...let some actions prove or disprove what she actually meant...

And OP...please do let us know how it went..lol..curious minds want to know..lol..
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 60
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/24/2010 8:37:17 AM
Thirty minutes! She's being generous!

I asked two women in their late 20s last night how long it took them to decide if they thought a man was interesting and both agreed it took about 10 minutes. Me, too.

But telling you that was stupid. I don't think I'd want to meet someone who said that to me, either. I'd be tempted to tell her she's already made an impression on me and it isn't a good one.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 61
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/24/2010 11:44:25 AM

As we are talking, she states how a man has only 30 mins to Impress her or else she moves on.

That's when you say, "well, you failed to impress me." *click*
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 62
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/24/2010 3:40:10 PM

I have a talent. I make incredibly artless comments in awkward moments. Sometimes it's honesty-blurting. Sometimes it's an attempt to share my odd sense of humor. Sometimes it's fatigue. Sometimes it's a deliberate social experiment for funsies. So when others do the same thing, I forgive them instantly, as one social idiot to another.Because it is possible this woman was just being tactless-if honest. And well, honesty is something I value more than tact, although both have value, of course.


Very nicely put..
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 63
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/25/2010 9:21:33 PM
When you meet someone, no one should have to work to impress the other. You both should just present yourselves as best you can and hopefully the other will find something appealing. But you too have to see something you like in the other. It's not some dog and pony show. The ringmaster isn't promising to astound the audience. So someone that frames it that way would annoy me.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 64
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/26/2010 12:11:11 AM

Adding my voice to those wishing for an update.

He has 30 minutes to give us an update!
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 65
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/26/2010 1:08:35 PM
**Update**


Here's what happened on the, I shall call it a meet and greet. This is just the condensed version of what happened.

Now onto what happened.

Well I arrived 5 minutes early so I could grab a table in the back away from all the noise and people. I did this because I wanted to hear exactly what she had planned. So she arrives and she's looking dead serious.

Once we have our food, you have 30 minutes to Impress me. I give exceptions to no one. I said fine, whatever..... Then I began spooning Ice Cream into my mouth. Man was it delicious. But back to what happened. So she began asking all sorts of stupid questions. None of which applied to me personally, but it seemed like she just has a bad and bitter opinion of men. At least I did break out the egg timer (thanks to all of you who suggested it). Seeing the look on her face was priceless and that actually was the best part of the meet and greet for me.

Well after some more talking and her men bashing, then she said what really annoyed me. “There's no man on P.O.F. That I see having any potential of dating me.” I asked her, “If you think that way, then why are you even on P.O.F. Or even began talking to me if you feel that. “Well there was something about you that I liked, I do think you have potential. I said, “Gee, Isn't that just great,” She then got mad at me because she said that she doesn't give many men compliments like that.

Well I got up and told her thanks for the meet and greet. She then corrected me and said that it was a date and then I corrected her and said, “No, it was a meet and greet.” She just looked at me with a pissed off sort of look and just stormed out of the place. I just laughed and sat down and enjoyed my Ice Cream. It was delicious by the way.

After what all went down Saturday with her, the funny thing is that she still has been trying to call. Go figure. It seems like she did actually like talking to me. LOL.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 66
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/26/2010 1:26:08 PM
Nicely played, good sir!


 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 67
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/26/2010 1:45:54 PM
OP, you are now my hero.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 68
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/26/2010 2:14:32 PM
so you're gonna have another go, right?

at the ice cream, that is. ice cream rocks.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 69
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/26/2010 2:17:10 PM

You deserve way better than that.

And, of course, you deserve ice cream...
 DragNFlyBuzzez
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 70
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/26/2010 4:43:17 PM


Take a bow, the egg timer was a great move...............

I want to know what kind of ice cream you had too?

She called it a date and she is calling you......................simply wild, (insert grin here) this was a fun thread.............I liked the ending!!!!!!

Thanks for sharing
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 71
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/28/2010 12:58:43 PM
Well thanks everyone for your words of encouragement. Sorry I haven't replied as quickly as I should've. I've been a little busy with work and life in general. But when I do go out on dates, or Meet and Greets like this one, I go to have fun. Whether the person sitting across from me wants to share in it is another question.


What kind of ice cream did you get?


I had a DQ Reese's Blizzard. Yummy. I should've gotten 2 lol.


[qoute] What was she like then??


I should've given a more in depth picture of the conversation between me and her. Well it was more like she was doing the talking and I was listening and stuffing my mouth with Ice Cream. LOL. This is just some of what she said during the Meet and Greet.

She is a nice looking woman, but her seemingly bitterness and anger at all men in general and her unreasonable expectations overrides it. What do I mean by unreasonable, she looks at every man as being some type of loser and then it's up to him to prove himself not to be one.

I stopped eating for a second and asked her go deeper into why she thinks that way about guys. Then her reply was, "Have you seen the guys on P.O.F. ?" I responded "no, if I did, I wouldn't be in here eating Ice Cream and listening to you." She didn't take that response well.

She then went on to put down the women on P.O.F. as well. She said she sort of sees why there are so many men that are losers on P.O.F. She said that with all the washed up on Women on the site, it's no wonder that there isn't any quailty men on there.

I asked her want made her think that they women on here was washed up and she said, "Just look at the them. Most have kids and probably would be guest on future Maury shows." I said there's nothing wrong with them having kids, as long as their attitudes don't suck while looking at her.


She then went on to say that most of Women on P.O.F. are more than likely 5yrs older than the stated age in their profile. Have 3 or more kids by 2 or more men. And probably half of them don't even know the fathers of their kids. "With women like that on the site, how am I expected to draw the quality men to me when there is such trashy women around.

I responded to her, that's why you have to roll up your sleeves and dive into the pond and grab the first healthy fish you see.

I don'that think she liked that I wasn't taking this Meet and Greet all that serious.

Once she bashed the women, then she jumped back to bashing the men. Like how most men are Mama Boys and that most just want another Mommy and couldn't handle a independant and strong woman such as her self.
I was just nodding, not really paying any attention, I was too busy eating my Ice Cream. Yummy.

There's more, but I will post that later. I think I might get me some more Ice Cream. Yummy.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 72
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/28/2010 8:13:34 PM
Ahhhh, palmer, you are definitely the type of guy I'd hang out and have a beer with... or an ice cream...
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 73
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/29/2010 10:50:11 AM

I think you impressed her.


Maybe I did. But if that did happen, it was completely by accident. I went there to have fun and have some Ice Cream. LOL.


I wonder what could have happened to make her so bitter and ugly, and if it's any excuse. Is there an excuse for such bitterness? As if she's the only person that's been shat on. Just another form of ego.


Well I do wonder that because when talking to her on the phone, that bitterness never seemed to come out. Perhap she was able to hide it since we were just talking on the phone and not face to face.


Ahhhh, palmer, you are definitely the type of guy I'd hang out and have a beer with... or an ice cream...


Thanks, gotta just love the Ice Cream. Well she wasn't hers but oh well, at least I had mine. LOL.
 safebetinvegas
Joined: 7/26/2007
Msg: 74
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 5/6/2010 9:46:08 AM
Most amusing OP.

And that's the way I'd take it unless you would rate her overall tone and demeanor thus far as less than thrilling.

Giving her the benefit of the doubt (for now at least) ultimately I think she was looking to gauge your reaction. You know, the old "...is this guy confident or another wimp..." type of "test."

Adding my own amusement to the topic, how long is 30 minutes was in dog years ? In other words, set your own "rules" as she attempted to do with you. I'm not suggesting game playing...just go with the flow until it becomes obvious you two may be on different wave lengths.

Good luck OP !
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 75
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 5/6/2010 9:54:11 AM
If someone had said to me;

"You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!"

I would have said, you have just wasted five seconds of MY time..see ya.

Then..thinking about it, "I should have said";

"You are a conceited, self centered, egotistical, immature "GIRL"..and then said..see ya..
 Praetorian55
Joined: 1/30/2010
Msg: 76
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 5/9/2010 10:48:08 PM
Well the next questions should be "Well what impresses you?"

I've got no problem with her having a time limit but please define the terms. What's impressive
and what's not?

I suppose if a woman said that to me I'd begin to start looking at other areas where she may be a tad
narcissistic.

The real question is whether or not a man's got the stomach to deal with a "me me me" woman. In the end you may
find yourself happier with a slightly more grounded woman.
 ExquisiteEccentric
Joined: 3/30/2010
Msg: 77
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 6/14/2010 11:05:47 AM
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me

I would have said "ok meet me there!!! im leaving right now!!! "

and grabbed the tv remote.

text 30 mins later.. impressive eh? ... loser.
 ExquisiteEccentric
Joined: 3/30/2010
Msg: 78
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 6/16/2010 12:48:26 PM
in way thats a whole lot better than when a female says to her female friends

"If he doesnt propose to me soon im just going to move on".

think about that one for a sec!
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