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 RAMPERBILL
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 57
She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
getting pregnant (and having a spontaneous abortion) trying to trap another guy" If she was trying to trap a guy she wouldn't have had the abortion.

"Spontaneous" as in - happened on its own. AKA miscarriage.
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If he said "miscarriage" he couldn't have said "entrapement." If she went out to the mall, happened to pass an abortion clinic, and decided that motherhood wasn't for her., that's spontaneous. There's no such thing as a "spontaneous abortion" except a fly by your seat decision to abort.
 Samantha44
Joined: 10/25/2008
Msg: 58
She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/24/2010 7:25:07 AM
Meassage 48 said it best....I would mention something to him.

Good Luck!
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 59
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She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/24/2010 12:00:23 PM
A "spontaneous abortion" is a miscarriage, look it up before you jump to conclusions.
 RAMPERBILL
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 60
She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/24/2010 1:36:23 PM
A "spontaneous abortion" is a miscarriage, look it up before you jump to conclusions.
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Then he should have said "miscarriage." Saying "spontaneous abortion" is misleading, which I believe was his intent. I've never heard anyone (until now) say "spontaneous abortion" to describe a miscarriage.
 Marco8711
Joined: 10/25/2008
Msg: 61
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She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/24/2010 6:32:26 PM
If you decide not to tell him anything atleast advise him to get a pre-nup.
 Marco8711
Joined: 10/25/2008
Msg: 62
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She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/24/2010 6:36:30 PM

Who cares if she wants his money or not. If she makes him happy and he
loves her that's all that matters. It certainly isn't your job to head off every
woman who he is with just because she might want his money.



I wonder if your tone would be the same if the situation was reversed if there was a possibility HE was using her for something.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 63
She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/24/2010 7:53:19 PM

If you decide not to tell him anything atleast advise him to get a pre-nup.


Make sure it is Iron Clad pre nup!!!

Also it has been proven that a food can wipe out the sex drive of a female.......It's called wedding cake.......So make sure that there is no cake at the wedding!!!!!......
She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/24/2010 8:19:56 PM
An infatuated man or woman doesn't listen to anybody else's opinion.

--And some people do not learn even after repeating similar mistakes.
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 65
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She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/24/2010 10:04:31 PM
rock_hunter wrote:
Would you tell him?

Yes, absolutely - but I would also be clear on what was *rumored* versus what seemed to have some sort of truth to it.

Having been the victim of a gold-digger myself - I would not only warn (but be honest about how much I know versus know much I only think I know), but I would find it somewhat repulsive NOT to give such a warning, or to hold back on this information.

rock_hunter wrote:
And if told, how would you react?

If I could confirm it, I'd probably dump her. If I was feeling particularly vindictive, I'd probably use her for whatever I could, just because she'd deserve it - but I most likely wouldn't go that route because I'm pretty much not that type of person.


Once again, though, people, this is assuming it's more than just a side rumor from a person who may or may not like the woman. I mean, come on, when it's coming from her own parents.... Seriously? It's even in uestion?



Oh, and I'm not so sure that the attitude of "this is a lesson he should learn on his own" is anything but vile. What if the roles were reversed? Men going for women for their money? Or even moreso, since this seems to be the stereotype... a man pretending sincere interest and toying with her heart just to use her for sex and leave her hanging?

Shoe on other foot and all......
 RAMPERBILL
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 66
She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/25/2010 4:48:21 AM
Oh, and I'm not so sure that the attitude of "this is a lesson he should learn on his own" is anything but vile. What if the roles were reversed? Men going for women for their money? Or even moreso, since this seems to be the stereotype... a man pretending sincere interest and toying with her heart just to use her for sex and leave her hanging?
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So many ways to use someone (male or female). Beware anyone with false intentions. Women get used to. Here's an example:

A mom of three has an unemployed, drug using, womanizer boyfriend who lives off her income and child support. She keeps him around because she loves him, he sticks around because he wants to make her happy and life is easy and good. So what if she's getting used, she's happy. Her happiness will most likely one day leave her destitute. While she's happy, she risks the physical and financial security of her children and herself. Who cares says the one that doesn't. Until the tables are turned.
 principles of magic
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 67
She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/25/2010 5:43:24 AM
"A "spontaneous abortion" is a miscarriage, look it up before you jump to conclusions.
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Then he should have said "miscarriage." Saying "spontaneous abortion" is misleading, which I believe was his intent. I've never heard anyone (until now) say "spontaneous abortion" to describe a miscarriage."

I took this to mean that she has been accused of faking a pregnancy.

OP, I would talk with this friend. Present the evidence, such as it is (i.e., this is what I heard the mother say, she asked to borrow $ from me, I'm told she owes others etc., also that you know you do not know her well enough to determine her true motives). Once you have said your piece, tell him it is up to him to decide what to do with the information, but as a friend, you could not stand by and do nothing.
 davdo
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 68
She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/25/2010 7:06:25 AM

Then he should have said "miscarriage." Saying "spontaneous abortion" is misleading, which I believe was his intent. I've never heard anyone (until now) say "spontaneous abortion" to describe a miscarriage."


I have heard miscarriage described this way. I think the term was quite common, up until roe vs wade. From the wikki:

In medical contexts, the word "abortion" refers to any process by which a pregnancy ends with the death and removal or expulsion of the fetus, regardless of whether it is spontaneous or intentionally induced. Many women who have had miscarriages, however, object to the term "abortion" in connection with their experience, as it is generally associated with induced abortions. In recent years there has been discussion in the medical community about avoiding the use of this term in favor of the less ambiguous term "miscarriage".[4]


As to the question at hand. Sometimes you just have to let people figure things out for themselves. The worst vice is advice. If he is happy, leave it alone. Maybe he wants to have a kid and get married. If you really feel his future is in danger, than tell him. If you doubt the veracity of the rumors, don't say anything.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 69
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She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/25/2010 7:14:38 AM
msg1:
No I would not tell him, he won't believe me any way. I would just give him advice to be careful that he is not taken for a ride on dealing with *women,*" take note: not her" so if in the long run he finds out that she is a hard core golddiger I will not be blame...

If your friend is really rich, I am not worried for he knows how to play with his money . He will know his money's worth.. > If he is smart to become rich ,then he is smart not to become an easy prey.<

He maybe generous to his godson but that is different..
 RAMPERBILL
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 70
She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/25/2010 7:40:27 AM
Many women who have had miscarriages, however, object to the term "abortion" in connection with their experience, as it is generally associated with induced abortions.
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Do they have induced miscarriages too?
 RAMPERBILL
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 72
She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/25/2010 7:54:31 AM
By the way, BBD means "big, better deal". Dumping a guy for other with more money. And used "spontaneous abortion" because I was involuntarily translating from Spanish.
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Great. Did she have an abortion, miscarriage, spontaneous abortion, or induced miscarriage.
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 74
She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/25/2010 8:42:14 AM

If he said "miscarriage" he couldn't have said "entrapement." If she went out to the mall, happened to pass an abortion clinic, and decided that motherhood wasn't for her., that's spontaneous. There's no such thing as a "spontaneous abortion" except a fly by your seat decision to abort.
Miscarriage is a type of abortion. It is not "decided." YOU are talking about a clinical "induced" abortion. Other countries do not necessarily have a separate term for miscarriage. She could have tried to entrap with pregnancy and later had a spontaneous abortion (miscarriage).

Did you see OP's post #27?

Spontaneous means involuntary.



Induced abortion and miscarriage are similar life events in that women abort after a short term of pregnancy. However, the two life events differ in important respects. Miscarriage happens involuntarily and suddenly to women who were expecting to give birth a few months later, whereas abortion is a planned and known event.


I don't think the OP intended to mislead. He just ran into the conflict between medical terminology in his language and the "softer" more PC term for the unplanned loss of a fetus that we commonly use in our country. You seem to be one of few who was unfamiliar with the terminology. I hope that means you have been lucky enough to have not been close to any such loss.
 CynthiaMw
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 75
She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/25/2010 8:56:06 AM
Sounds like my dad and his second wife. Dad is from uber-wealthy 'old money'. She was from the 'wrong side of the tracks' and well known as a gold-digger. She was 9 months pregnant when they married. That he married her at all meant that he was at least one man who'd dipped his wick in that well but town gossip claimed there were others. The marriage had disaster written all over it.

That was more than 40 yrs ago and they're still married. Sure, she's had incentive to stay married but from all appearances he's happy with her and she appears to care for him. How many couples can claim that after 40+ yrs?

OP, you say that people speak freely - then your friend will hear/has heard the rumors himself. You don't need to tell him. He's a big boy entitled to make his own mistakes and learn from them. Or, it might turn out well. It is not your place to steer him into, or clear of, your idea of a valid relationship.
 Marco8711
Joined: 10/25/2008
Msg: 76
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She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/25/2010 9:08:41 AM

So finally I didn't need to broach the subject, he did it. Last Friday they went together to the Feria de Sevilla and met some people who knows him (and her) and they were surprised, too. Some of them weren't so shy about talking, so he received a quite detailed report. I confirmed I heard the rumors and gave the few facts I had. He matched this with some other things -she never paid for anything, pouting if not eating out, talking about needing money for tuition, that kind of things- and decided she's not the girl for him. The dangers and joys of living in a small city.


So he kicked her to the curb then? if so good for him. I don't think having alot of money is a problem. It's people KNOWING you have alot of money that causes problems.
 dawn1114
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 77
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She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/25/2010 9:15:19 AM

Then he should have said "miscarriage." Saying "spontaneous abortion" is misleading, which I believe was his intent. I've never heard anyone (until now) say "spontaneous abortion" to describe a miscarriage.

"Spontaneous abortion" has always been used as another term for a miscarriage. It's very common usage. I'm surprised you've never heard it before.

On topic: I'd only tell him the anectdote about what you personally heard the woman's mother say. The rest of the rumours (even the debt) might be true or might be embellished.
 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 78
She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/25/2010 9:51:42 AM
OP hope you feel better after running your mouth.............
You still don't have all the facts and don't know the whole story so you should have kept your mouth shut.................and so should your friends......
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 80
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She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/25/2010 11:13:53 AM
I don't know . . maybe the "spontaneous abortion" (ie: miscarriage) was her explanation as to why she wasn't pregnant when she tried to get money . . . ie: "You want money for child support, or pre-natal support, fine, let's go to a doctor and confirm the pregnancy."

"Uh, I don't know why it's negative, maybe I had an early miscarriage and didn't realize it!"



Anyway, it seems that most who're defending this girl, etc., haven't read the OP's posts as closely as they should've....
 CynthiaMw
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 81
She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/25/2010 11:44:22 AM

Anyway, it seems that most who're defending this girl, etc., haven't read the OP's posts as closely as they should've....

Or maybe you and OP haven't read our posts as closely as you should have.

First, we're not defending this girl, we're saying it is none of OP's business to spread rumor about this girl. Rumor-mongers are the same as liars - spreading 'facts' they have no idea whether are true or not. Maybe they are, maybe they're not. But OP seems immune to the damage he could do if he spreads rumors that are not true. Have you ever heard the term hearsay before? Do you even see an issue of fairness here?

Second, it's none of OP's business to 'protect' his friend as if his friend is incapable of seeing the girl for who/what she is. NO ONE on the outside of a relationship is capable of seeing the people in the relationship as they see each other. I think my step-mother is a total biatch. My dad loves her. He must see something in her that no one else does. Same may be the case here. The girl may be a heartless gold-digger and the friend should be able to see that on his own without his 'friends' putting their own uninformed/projections onto her and him.

The wealthy, famous, and/or powerful have a burden that many do not understand - having to determine (and believe) whether people like them for themselves or just using them. The red flag will ALWAYS go up when they're from drastically different socioeconomic spheres. But that does not mean it is ALWAYS a user/used relationship. Stranger things have happened and the people actually in the relationship deserve to make their own assessments without busy-bodies putting in their own perceptions.

That OP's friend has since kicked the girl to the curb is irrelevant to either of these arguments against volunteering unsubstantiated opinion.
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 82
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She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/25/2010 11:46:50 AM
Er, you might want to check the mirror before making such accusations against myself and the OP . . . unless you consider the woman's MOTHER to also be a rumor-monger...

From the VERY FIRST post in this thread:


and I've personally heard HER mother bragging "my daughter already hit the jackpot" and "Our (hers and her daughter's) money problems are over".
 RAMPERBILL
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 83
She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/25/2010 11:49:28 AM
In today's world it is very important to protect yourself, and your children if you have any. In order to protect youself you have to have knowledge of possibilities. Knowledge allows you to make decisions. Informing someone of something you know of is assisting them by making them knowledgeable, so they can make their own decisions. Keeping them in the dark, means making them vulnerable. Why would you do this to a friend? You'd teach your own children to look both ways before crossing the street even though you've never been hit by a car, wouldn't you? Maybe you've never been hit by a car because your parents taught you this.
 salamander000
Joined: 10/26/2004
Msg: 84
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She's a gold-digger...would you tell him?
Posted: 4/25/2010 11:52:41 AM

My friend is not too experienced with women, he's what is called an "easy prey". I normally wouldn't butt in his dating life, but in this case, I'm seeing him going directly to doom.

Would you tell him? And if told, how would you react?


I would not react..and here's why, it's paper, if it having paper to give her makes him and her happy, what have you to say?

case scenario...she likes money, he has money, he gives it to her, she saves or spends it, so?
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