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Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 30
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Did I ruin it?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
It seems he got carried away at the beginning before he even knew you. I would be wary of that from the start. If you were only talking to him, not seeing him, then him asking you to move in with him is sheer madness. He was telling you things about bragging to his friends, etc., but what had he followed through in practice - meeting you, spending time with you, maintaining contact, caring for you? Have you ever met him?

It sounds like he was being possessive remotely. This doesn't mean a thing. Most men are sexually possessive, even if they haven't met the girl they like the look of or if they have met her but aren't interested in a serious relationship. He was trying to control you with his comments. I can't see anything more in it than that.

He's expecting lots from you, contact and all that but not following through on his promises. He wondered if the relationship was fading because your pattern of behaviour changed. It probably changed because you were, quite rightly, thinking it was all about him.

If he's ignoring your calls, he's not interested. A man who was interested would still talk to you even if you were upset. A man who was interested would care enough to do that. He wouldn't put up with emotional trauma for ever but he would care enough to be there for you.

How were you getting on OK when he wasn't doing what you wanted? I don't see that at all. He sounded all talk to me. When you confronted him about it, he opted out in a coward's way and then he thought maybe there's still something. It is all about him. What about your feelings? Shouldn't he care for you and what matters to you too?

One very important thing to learn about relationships is that if you reach a point with someone where you are afraid to talk to them about what matters to you, maybe because they've refused to, then you need to get out. You shouldn't have to grovel; this man is controlling you and you are letting him.

I'm sorry you've met someone like this. He doesn't really want to be there for you or he wouldn't be making such hard work of it all. He's blaming you for his lack of involvement - you are too demanding, difficult, need too much, etc. Honestly, you could meet a man who will treat you well, why bother with this non-committal character who never follows through?
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 31
Did I ruin it?
Posted: 5/1/2010 7:41:26 PM

I honestly had a wall up and didn't give him a chance right away because I was still hurting from the last relation-shit I'd be in

Stop chasing "hawt guyz" and actually find someone with some depth and substance.... ohh never mind... I'm talking to someone who an ass load of glamour shots posted on her profile. Deaf ears...

BTW... add me to your Facebook when you get a chance!
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 32
Did I ruin it?
Posted: 5/1/2010 7:59:57 PM

Ah, I remember being 25...

As if it was yesterday, right? Judging by the brilliance of your post I'd say mentally you're still about 25.

What the hell does her being "pretty" have to do with deserving ANYTHING? So, less than pretty women deserve to be strung along, while the prettier than average only deserve to be treated with respect?

What a dolt.
Joined: 3/9/2010
Msg: 33
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Did I ruin it?
Posted: 5/6/2010 11:34:12 PM
this guys a loser. wow
Joined: 3/4/2010
Msg: 34
Did I ruin it?
Posted: 5/9/2010 9:35:49 PM
I agree with the above of him playing you and only leading you on.

There's this book "He's Just Not That Into You." yeah I know there's a movie. This came out before the movie. Read the book. It opens up a lot of things you never would realize.
As someone pointed out, a guy that is interested will go out of his way to get all your contact info just to get to know you, whether it's Facebook, MSN, other IM's info, your #, your address, your other email addresses.

Also, if you're gut feeling tells you something isn't right, it probably isn't.
And if you have a bad feeling you're being played you probably are.

And have to point out one of the things that really pisses me off is people that make up excuses just to keep you "interested" in them even though you're on their back burner.
Joined: 8/23/2009
Msg: 35
Did I ruin it?
Posted: 5/9/2010 10:04:20 PM
No you did nothing wrong.

He wants the best of both worlds.....I'm afriad you are the back up plan.

Move on, he is using you.

Actions always speak louder than words.

Good Luck, you deserve better.
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