Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Would FWB be attractive if you list it as your marital status on your dating profile?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I get grief about my separated status, and hell maybe he's divorced me, I wouldn't know, haven't had any contact with him for over 30 years...but anyway, yes I would like FWB used as a status, and no I want no part of dating someone who has friends they have sex with because nothing better is around at the moment. I can't imagine screwing a friend because I was horny and not dating someone and I can't imagine many of them not cheating with such friends whenever things aren't going well in a relationship. They cross boundaries that I consider a deal breaker.
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 15
Would FWB be attractive if you list it as your marital status on your dating profile?
Posted: 5/6/2010 4:21:57 AM
If FWB is all someone is looking for, then they should say so. And, no, I would not date someone who was in an FWB relationship, if I knew that to be the case. I don't share.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 16
Would FWB be attractive if you list it as your marital status on your dating profile?
Posted: 5/7/2010 6:21:28 PM
If you are married looking for a FwB on the side you should state that.
If you are single looking for a FwB, state that.

As to FwB, if a guy is seeking that he is NOT popular in POF.
If a girl is seeking that she will be VERY popular.

So good luck.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Would FWB be attractive if you list it as your marital status on your dating profile?
Posted: 5/7/2010 8:37:25 PM
So........if someone is honest and states they have a FWB.......then they become
"Not Date Worthy" because they have the audicity to be having sex with one person
that they respect and enjoy a friendship with.

But .....if someone is dating......and having sex with various people that aren't friends.....
then they are "Date Worthy"

Damn.......that is some screwed up logic there !!

FYI......Most FWB couples end the sex when one of them starts dating.
How do you know the man/woman you are going out with tomorrow night isn't at the bar tonight hooking up with someone? And wasn't hooking up with someone completely different the weekend before?

Down on FWB's all you want........but I'd say most people in FWB relationships
can be far less promiscuous than those that are serial dating.
Let's say you date someone the "standard" 3 dates.......have sex with them a few times.....and realize things arent' working.
So......onto dating someone else......maybe this time you go out 5 times before having sex a few times......you know, just to me sure......but still......doesn't work out.
Repeat till you find "the one".

How is that more "desirable" or "datable" then a person that has only having sex with
their FWB?

Ok......I'm just repeating myself .......but this makes no sense to me at all!

 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 20
view profile
History
Would FWB be attractive if you list it as your marital status on your dating profile?
Posted: 5/8/2010 6:16:32 AM
and there isn't something "off" about someone that can fvck strangers or someone that they've only known a couple of weeks?

FYI.......most FWB do have "emotions" for each other.....respect, compassion, trust and even love.
It's just not a "romantic" love.
If you're having sex with someone you've been on a whole 3 dates with.....there is no way you have had enough time to become "emotionally attached", let alone know them enough to trust them.

If you're not into FWB......then that's fine.
But I get so sick of people condemning others when they have no idea the level
of respect and trust that is involved in a FWB.
And not everyone in a FWB is waiting for "something better to come along".
Some have legitimate reasons for not being able to be involved in a romantic relationship. Just because you may not agree with them......it doesn't make them wrong.
Saying someone is "inheritantly and disturbingly off" just because you don't understand the dynamics of FWB's .....is just being a judgemental jerk.

Personally, I think people that condemn things they have no understanding off.....
are far more "off" than those that are honest and upfront about what they need in their lives at any certain time.
 lateā„¢
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 22
Would FWB be attractive if you list it as your marital status on your dating profile?
Posted: 5/8/2010 8:42:01 AM
But .....if someone is dating......and having sex with various people that aren't friends.....
then they are "Date Worthy"

Damn.......that is some screwed up logic there !!

Absolutely! Makes no sense at all.
(BTW, who has actually said that they are more "Date Worthy" than a FWB?)


Some have legitimate reasons for not being able to be involved in a romantic relationship. Just because you may not agree with them......it doesn't make them wrong.

Agreed.

But the OP is talking about someone already involved in a FWB relationship who is seeking "a romantic relationship" as being already in a relationship.

So, as a "deal breaker" there's also nothing "wrong" with; not wanting to be romantically involved, even potentially, with someone who is already in a sexual relationship whether it's with consecutive strangers or one "friend" (and are all FWB/FB relationships necessarily "exclusive"?)...

Like I said (if I was still single), I would have no problem with someone who is legally "separated", as long as they were emotionally and sexually "divorced" from their spouse, and honest about it.

It's not about labels, it's about circumstance, and for ALL of us, other people's circumstance being a deciding factor of whether they are "available" is in the eye of the beholder, so it's up to US to decide what's right or wrong for ourselves.


I get grief about my separated status

I did too (before I was legally divorced).

Now, if we argue that people with the status separated are not single

If you argue this you are committing a syllogistic error in reasoning.

Here's how to shut up the self-righteous who are capable of parsing dialectic reason (granted, few and far between ...so it won't change a thing if the self-righteous person isn't very bright, they tend to prefer clinging to prejudicial bias, even if it's irrational):

Separated and Single -> "I'm separated, not married ...I am single."

Self-righteous syllogistic error -> "Well, if you're separated you are still married"

Separated and Single refutation -> "No, it's just a piece of paper that doesn't honestly reflect my circumstance"

Self-righteous counter-argument -> "It doesn't matter, you're still married"

Separated and Single reasoning -> "Isn't marriage MORE than just a piece of paper?"

Self-righteous losing the argument -> "Exactly!"

Separated and Single resolved "AoB" syllogistic premise/conclusion-> All that's left of that marriage is that piece of paper, my honest reality is that there is no reconciliation possible, since there is no MORE to this relationship than a piece of paper and marriage is more than "just a piece of paper", the marriage is over, I am for all intents and purposes - single, *quod erat demonstrandum.
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 24
Would FWB be attractive if you list it as your marital status on your dating profile?
Posted: 5/9/2010 6:02:04 AM
I don't have casual sex with any man I find attractive. I have to care about the person to the degree that we are trying to develop a long term relationship. Therefore, for me, a FWB situation isn't possible. I don't have sex with my friends. My friendships are platonic. I would expect the same morals and integrity from a man with whom I'm forming a relationship. That's not to say that in my youth I didn't take sex much more casually but, as I've gotten older and matured, I've become much more discretionary in my sexual liaisons... a relationship is now a must.

If others are happy in a FWB situation or partaking in casual sex, that's their prerogative. To each their own. I, personally, would rather be with a man who can abstain from having sexual relations unless he is in a loving, monogamous relationship. I prefer a man who is able to have control over his carnal desires as opposed to his desires having control over him.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 27
view profile
History
Would FWB be attractive if you list it as your marital status on your dating profile?
Posted: 5/9/2010 5:31:47 PM

First Date Ideas : Perhaps we could meet for coffee before or after I have mind blowing sex to see if we click, then who knows?


Oh good lord!!
You act like people with FWB's are nothing but sex crazed freaks that do nothing but
Fuk all day.

Once again.......most of you have absolutely no idea how FWB's work.
We aren't hooking up daily to get our orgasm fix like some junkie.
I was in a FWB relationship for a few years till recently. Once a month was the norm....sometimes it would be a few months in between....
And as soon as I accepted a date from the man I am currently seeing.....I told my friend I was dating. We didn't even discuss sex......because we both know and respect each other's choice for a different kind of relationship.....and had already discussed the fact sex would stop when either was dating.

Amazing how someone like me is "not dating material" because I was having sex with the same man for the past couple of years.
Yet ......if I had been dating .....and had slept with 2 or 3 different men in the past couple years.......that would be perfectly acceptable.

Just damn glad my man now appreciates the fact I wasn't out "test driving" a new man every 6 months!!
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Would FWB be attractive if you list it as your marital status on your dating profile?
Posted: 5/10/2010 9:49:46 AM
If I'm looking for a relationship, but also have a FWB or FB, that's none of your business. As long as I'm available for a relationship should one develop, the FWB or FB can be stopped at any time in favor of a new relationship. A FWB or FB just fills the gap until such a relationship is found. Your only concerns should be that I am available, and that I'm disease-free. Likewise, so should you be, and short of testing for the latter, I only have your word for anything.

If it matters that much to you, state your preferences up front, and ask anyone you want to meet about it, but IMO, they don't have to tell you as long as they're not having sex with you AND someone else.
Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  >