Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Finding a girl with the same sex drive?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 26
view profile
History
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

There is not one chronic illness that will prevent sex, so your argument is moot and i would say your sister is was being terribly selfish, the relationship is not only about her and I think he would do better with someone that actually gave a crap about him.



There are other things that we can do, sex doesn't just encompass intercourse, their is more to it then that.


You say "the relationship is not only about her".......
Well guess what......a relationship isn't only about getting you off every day.
You sound like you need a sex slave.......not a girlfriend.
 cheeriness
Joined: 8/23/2009
Msg: 27
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/7/2010 2:08:07 PM
Dear OP,

If you are just dating no reason to say anything......

If you both are considering a relationship or taking it to the next level.....that is the time I say there is more that goes into a relationship for me. Its complicated. When they ask you to explain.....you simply say, "I need sex three times a day, minimum".

Its just one more obsticle we have in trying to find a good match in the relationship department. Subtly is key. Good luck.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 28
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/7/2010 2:17:39 PM

Well guess what......a relationship isn't only about getting you off every day.


You are right about that, a relationship is about meeting each others needs fully without resentment or complaints because you love and care about that person which goes both ways. One of my needs while in a relationship is sex everyday and if my SO can't meet that it shows me that my SO is being very selfish and does not care about me and what I want.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/7/2010 2:38:13 PM

You are right about that, a relationship is about meeting each others needs fully without resentment or complaints because you love and care about that person which goes both ways. One of my needs while in a relationship is sex everyday and if my SO can't meet that it shows me that my SO is being very selfish and does not care about me and what I want.


Dress it up with what ever excuse you need to tell yourself......
but requiring sex everyday......no matter what.......is you being selfish.
You've already stated a chronic illness or a bad period shouldn't stop your girl
from getting you off in whatever fashion she is able.
So what about her needs when she is sick? Or those only met if you have your
daily orgasm requirment?
Good Lord I'm glad you are far from the norm for the real men out there!
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 30
view profile
History
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/7/2010 2:59:29 PM
Hard and fast rules or expectations about sex or anything else rarely work towards nurturing a relationship. You are either naturally on the same page much of time and can compromise the rest of the time, or you've got problems. Sometimes you just don't have sex for whatever reason, and that's okay! If you really care about each other's happiness, you will do your best to meet your partner's needs. However, once those needs become demands or are selfish or inconsiderate, they begin to undermine the relationship.

My SO has had a debilitating chronic illness for 8 years, and it hasn't slowed her down sexually. It's one of the things she can still enjoy! On the occasional really bad days, I take care of her and put my "needs" aside. I am just grateful to have her in my life at all.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 31
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/7/2010 3:07:27 PM

So what about her needs when she is sick? Or those only met if you have your
daily orgasm requirment?


I already said that being sick can differ it a day but being constantly sick is a problem too and will result in me ending things



Relationships are about compromises as well.


I disagree with that, if you can't meet your dates needs fully especially what he/she deems as important then you need to find someone else so your dates can find someone that matches him/her.



If you really care about each other's happiness, you will do your best to meet your partner's needs


exactly and if your date is continuously slacking off in meeting your needs then you are going to start resenting your date and the relationship will be over really quickly.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 32
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/7/2010 3:11:39 PM
Dude, don't sweat it! I feel the same way as you, meaning my libedo is stron usually and I like it lots to. It's not fair to expect every womans libedo too match yours. Maybe their libedo is strong like yours, but somehow it's masked. In otherwords, maybe they lead busy tiring lives. Just take what you can get and be happy. If their not up to par, keep searching
 .dej
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 33
view profile
History
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/7/2010 3:13:57 PM


Relationships are about compromises as well.

I disagree with that, if you can't meet your dates needs fully especially what he/she deems as important then you need to find someone else so your dates can find someone that matches him/her.

You're a jackass.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 34
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/7/2010 3:19:03 PM
Yep keep searching boys. I'm the first to say that people are allowed their preferences even when I don't agree.

just keep this in mind boys for that day when you are not well and the woman with you dumps your azz because you can't perform because the drugs you have to take really debilitate you. It might last for a year or two before you are on the road to recovery. You never know when you will be in someone else's shoes.

Remember not to be bitter or upset or think she's a selfish b*tch.

Those are truly the time you WANT your partner sticking around to be there for you.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 35
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/7/2010 7:31:35 PM

Your response would be different if it was someone you loved and cared for. You would not make such nasty, ignorant, immature, stupid comments.

A selfish sexual demand would be a guy demanding sex from me when HE wanted it with no regard to me. Damn right I'd tell such a guy to f off.


Actually the worst part is that for some people the response will still be the same! Some people are incapable of compassion yet seek that very thing in people they date.

People who have led these perfect little lives with no crisis' in them just don't "get" certain things. Must be nice to have be so lucky huh?
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 36
view profile
History
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/7/2010 7:53:55 PM

My sister is dying of breast and bone cancer


Ma'am,

I am sorry that your sister, you, your family, and all your friends have to experience and suffer from this situation. Please remember that forums, the internet, is full of people who can be a PIA and make nasty comments, simply because of the anonymity of the internet.

While you and your family, and your friends, are suffering right along with your sister, and it IS REAL for you, many who are not in that situation are not going to understand your intensity on matters like this.

Have strength for your sister, and remember what is said on the internet is just that..words written on a computer. You are living something that is very painful, and I am sorry for that.
I lost my wife to cancer, and I sympathize, and simply wish to extend my condolences and remind you that this computer stuff means nothing to what you are, unfortunately, experiencing.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 37
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/7/2010 8:37:16 PM
OP try Craigslist.
LOL

I think plenty of women wouldn't have a problem with that amount of frequency.
But would have a problem with you requiring it like a chore.
I mean if you couldn't get your daily fix they may worry you'd try to get some elsewhere while they are at work, or hump a light post or something.

So my advice is just to say you like sex alot....
when you are fixin to get intimate with a girl.
At that point, it may help you.
Before that point, it may send em running.

good Luck.
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 38
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/7/2010 9:21:19 PM
First of all being you, I would not look for a relationship. It would seem that to you, a relationship is all about sex. If the sex is no good, then you're not interested. It is not surprising that you are still single since you will not be able to build a long lasting primarily relationship based on sex.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 39
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/8/2010 5:14:54 AM
Look if you absolutely must have sex a minimum of 20 times per week, come hell or high water - move to freakin' Utah and buy a harem. You are not going to find one woman with that much time on her hands, much less one woman to put up with that attitude... they might initially sign up for the program, but eventually you will just become one more chore on the to-do list.


Best answer so far!

Oh wait....I think it's a tie!


of course you could always be a porn star, if you think you measure up. why not do something you love and get paid for it..
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 40
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/8/2010 6:03:18 AM

My sister is dying of breast and bone cancer and is nearly legally blind. She undergoes bone cancer treatment every Wednesday, chemo for breast cancer every Thurs, and physio for a healing broken arm (she just had a rod put in it) on Tues. She also has a tumour on her brain and just underwent a masectomy. YOU think she's selfish for not putting out for her selfish, demanding a hole of an ex bf when he wanted it????? CANCER IS A CHRONIC ILLNESS!!!! Your response proves you are a woman hater and you really need a good shrink and a major attitude adjustment. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get over it! The world does not revolve around you and your nutsack and tool.


You took what I said way to personally, what I am saying there are 100's of things you could do for sexual pleasure and it doesn't have to revolve around sexual intercourse .



Your response would be different if it was someone you loved and cared for. You would not make such nasty, ignorant, immature, stupid comments.


I have been in the situation you are in so i know how to work around every scenario when it comes to sex. It is when they start using there chronic illness's as excuses and crutches to support there unwillingness to do something I have an issue with and that relationship did that so it ended.



I noticed your profile states "left blank on purpose". What too lazy to get off your butt to get a job? Ahhh so your one of these types of guys who is a golddigger huh.


I left it blank on purpose because my job has nothing to do with dating and is not my dates concern what my job is
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 41
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/8/2010 9:01:11 AM

So you don't see a situation where someone may be too ill to have sex?


no I really don't because there are always things you can do to work around it



They're just using it as an excuse?


People who use there illness's as crutches to get out of things are just wasting someones time.



Or if they are too ill then what? You dump them?


no I wont dump someone that is too i'll as long as they aren't using there illness as a crutch to get out of something I.E. sex

I just don't do pity parties when someone is trying to con me into feeling sorry for them and use it as an excuse to not fulfill there side of the relationship.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 42
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/8/2010 9:50:27 AM
Wait until the day you are so sick from chemo or from drugs you might have to take that debilitate you. Or from pain that exhausts you so much that you just want to sleep.

You really should refrain from talking about subjects you have never experienced or have no understanding about; as someone who thinks sex is very important in a relationship and also has a chronic illness, I'm more than qualified to speak on this subject.


<div class="quote">People who use there illness's as crutches to get out of things are just wasting someones time.

I do agree with this to some degree however as I can't stand whiners and work hard to keep myself as healthy as possible; but there are nuances and things are not always as they appear in public vs private.

Do you know anyone who suffers daily? Have you ever watched a cancer patient suffer? An AIDS patient?


many who are not in that situation are not going to understand your intensity on matters like this.


I'm sorry, but how can someone not "feel" compassion and a pull at the heartstrings for anyone who is ill?

I know plenty of those same people who sit there and cry for some actor in a movie playing a part. There are real people who go through the exact same things.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 43
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/8/2010 10:36:08 AM

Do you know anyone who suffers daily? Have you ever watched a cancer patient suffer?


Yes one of my last relationships, my SO had terminal cancer and we always worked around it and found sexual things we could do until one day my SO decided to use her illness as a crutch to avoid doing anything for me that I wanted, she just wanted me to cater to her, so I left.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 44
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/8/2010 11:53:31 AM
This is what I originally said and it is not a contradiction.





no I wont dump someone that is too i'll as long as they aren't using there illness as a crutch to get out of something I.E. sex

I just don't do pity parties when someone is trying to con me into feeling sorry for them and use it as an excuse to not fulfill there side of the relationship.


- - - - -


Oh and you believe it's only your business what you do for a living? I would never date a guy who hid himself from me on purpose and who refused to tell me whether or not he was employed as I'm seeking a guy who does work for a living and who is financially responsible and self sufficient, not a golddigger. If a guy refused to share information about himself to me I'd believe he has something to hide and I'd tell him to beat it.


yes its only my business what my jobs is, where I get my money.
 PrinceCharmingsCousin
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 45
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/8/2010 12:54:23 PM
the problem with just saying I have a high sex drive as someone suggested, is that everyone has a different Idea of what high sex drive means...to someone who's normal amount is 2-3 times a week, then high would be 5-6 times a week....but to someone who normal is 2-3 times a day....5-6 times a week is nothing.

I have felt the same with a woman or 2 i've dated...where I was general like that...and they agreed they had a high one too...only to find out we had different opinions on what high sex drive meant.
 johndoe67-1
Joined: 4/13/2010
Msg: 46
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/8/2010 1:59:35 PM
Apollodorus,

Do all the women you meet a favor and please DO NOT EVER make a committment to any of them. You obviously do not know what it means. Not everyone who is sick is using it as an excuse to not have sex in a relationship. Sometimes they are just REALLY SICK! Its called life and it happens.

Although since you've had this problem, maybe they ARE using it as an excuse to not have sex with YOU!
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 47
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/8/2010 2:23:47 PM
^^^^ I do know what a committment means, a commitment is where you give 100% of what each other wants even if you don't want too and if one is slacking they are breaking there duty to fulfill 100% of there partners needs in the relationship and if it continues the relationship is over.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 48
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/8/2010 4:10:14 PM

^^^^ I do know what a committment means, a commitment is where you give 100% of what each other wants even if you don't want too and if one is slacking they are breaking there duty to fulfill 100% of there partners needs in the relationship and if it continues the relationship is over.


Ever try that with 4 kids running around the house?
 .dej
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 49
view profile
History
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/8/2010 5:24:08 PM
Ha, filing for divorce.

I don't understand how a woman would let you into a position where you'd need to.
 johndoe67-1
Joined: 4/13/2010
Msg: 50
Finding a girl with the same sex drive?
Posted: 5/8/2010 5:29:14 PM

I dont care if there is 4 or 40 kids, you should still be able to make time everyday for us (sex} and if you cant then your not budgeting your time properly. honestly I would be filing for divorce if the kids were being used as an excuse too.

With any luck women will see your posts and you won't have the opportunity to procreate. I can't believe you made it to 29 without learning a single thing about being human, women and 'real' life.

BTW - a committment (as in marriage) is for BETTER or WORSE , meaning sometimes you put you partners feelings before your own selfish needs. You arent looking for a partner or commitment, you are looking for a hole thats open 24x7.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Finding a girl with the same sex drive?