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Joined: 4/21/2010
Msg: 45
Few weeks into dating and cancer diagnosePage 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I have to completely agree with you.
I dated a man who played similar cards with me and her story really reminds me of jus how full of Shi** some men can be with women. The guy with me didn't use cancer though. He said that someone had died in his family. Now we had been seeing one another on and off a few times and as soon as I told him that I refused to wast anymore time with him, he told me that he wanted to get to know me better and on a more serious basis. And yes, we texted everyday too, talked on the phone, emailed and saw each other right before "THE DEATH" for two weeks too. Wow! What is with this short term week thing with some of these men today. Geez!
Anyway, I wished him well after his "FAMILY DEATH" and have not heard from him in quite a while now. ...which is a blessing to say the least because he smelled of flake all over.
Girlfriend needs to (if she hasn't done so already)..walk away as fast as she can. Very seldom do people going through things of this nature desire to disappear like you all never ever existed. Come on n ow! Are we water facets now? Turn on when you want a drink and turn off when the going gets rough after you have made a pledge to proceed with the individual. Or are we simply Barbie Dolls that a man can just choose from each day. Blonde one gets Saturday and the brunettes get to see him on Wednesday's. Pleeze!
I'm not buying it at ll.
I had a friend who was diagnosed with postrate cancer a few years back. He and I had a great relationship and after he went through what he had to, he was still there for and with me. (smaller penis of course..yes, it shrunk) ..but he didn't play games like this guy did.
Bottom line is this, if a guy wants to be with the woman of his choice, he dayum well is gonna do it. Guys are too headstrong today to just walk away without a purpose.
I wonder if this guy sis is talking about was married?
Sure sounds like another woman in the picture to me.
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 46
Few weeks into dating and cancer diagnosis
Posted: 7/5/2010 11:09:13 AM

For everyone who says prostate cancer is no big deal... please tell it to my uncles wife and to Mr. Hoppers family. It is cancer.. it IS a big deal.

My grandfather (fathers side) succumbed to it in 1997 (age 88, 10 yrs after radiation - he opted not to go for the chemo, his choice). My father has just been diagnosed w/ prostate cancer (age 70) and is going for radiation & hormone treatments the next few months (his PSA tests have been sky high for several years) - so chances are good (family history) I have it to 'look forward to' in my (hopefully distant) future.

OP, I'd reach out to him... not annoyingly so, but just to talk. As many have mentioned, sometimes people w/ cancer tend to cut people out of their lives... it puts you face to face with your own mortality, which is not something most people, especially at younger ages, are comfortable with or talking about.
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 47
Few weeks into dating and cancer diagnose
Posted: 7/5/2010 2:52:21 PM

Post question is: Should I contact him and let him know of my care of affection or leave him alone? That's my issue..

Tricky question, but coming from me, a dude that has 4 months of chemo left and a month of radiation after, i'd say don't go into emotional, sombre, feeling sorry for the guy, "how are you feeling?" stuff. Trust me, enought of that crap gets flung around from family and long time friends. If you're going to contact him, make sure you can put a smile on his face. Mention something that you two did in the month you knew each other prior his diagnosis, or something along that line. That would probably be the best thing that can bring him around to keeping you in touch and not so distant.
My thoughts anywayz. Good luck
Joined: 9/27/2009
Msg: 48
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Few weeks into dating and cancer diagnose
Posted: 11/12/2010 10:38:49 AM
Hey,It will be OK,That guy has alot on his mind right now. I dealt with this two years
ago,And I was being selfish thinking I didn't mean enough for her to talk about it with
me. She had breast cancer,and she is a survivor, However,When you learn of some
thing so devastating,All that goes thru your mind is ~DEATH~,and the things you never got to do in life.When I think of if I had heard the news about myself....Well,
a relationship would be the last thing on my mind.All you can do is be there,Although
my situation is alot different from this situation,I still keep on keepin on.Just be there
for him,Eventually,He'll need to talk to someone,and it will probrably be you.
Also,when I learned of my girls cancer,I went to the bookstore and bought a couple
of books,and also read a few there on the subject.Learn all you can about what you will
go through,if you are with him.Right now if you learn about it,you will know more about what hes about to go through,than he knows,and that will help him eventually,
and he will thank you for being there, Don't be fooled....This is a hard thing to deal with
and its never certain what the outcome will be, And theres no promises he will be with
you in the end, I am sorry to be so blunt,But this may help you deal with it.
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 49
Few weeks into dating and cancer diagnose
Posted: 11/29/2011 1:40:57 AM
I got chest cancer before my deployment with the Navy last year and was a month into dating a girl, I told her about it and expected her to head for the hills. Yet she went to all my doctor appointments with me on base, and turned out to be the first girl I fell in love with, and was a long term girlfriend. Cancer is a tough thing to deal with but I think its hard to have a relationship when you know your facing a disease that may kill you. That is why it is hard for me to date now mine just relapsed and the chances of me making it five years are not on my side...How can a let a girl date me knowing these odds? I understand his position and I think you should date a guy that is healthy
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 50
Few weeks into dating and cancer diagnose
Posted: 6/19/2012 6:26:17 AM
OP: My cynicism is getting in the way...but something doesn't feel right about this situation. Are you sure this diagnosis was real and he didn't pull a phoney cancer diagnosis just to get you into bed?

In general, people, no matter how sick, should be loved and cared for.
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 51
Few weeks into dating and cancer diagnose
Posted: 6/19/2012 8:55:39 AM
The guy is going to go through some self pity cut him some slack, he needs to process this may take a month for sure
If he has to have radical surgery his nerves will probably be damaged, there are devices to make him hard but he will
Not be able to ejaculate. This is huge, take your own needs out of the equasion for now and give him time.
You have to decide what you really need in a relationship and there are all kinds of relationships this one does not need to be an intimate one it could be real good buddys.
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 52
view profile
Few weeks into dating and cancer diagnose
Posted: 6/19/2012 9:25:58 AM
OP is gone and this thread is ancient... LET THIS THREAD DIE!
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