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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > After the first meet, do men ever ask for actual dates?      Home login  
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 1eastshore
Joined: 11/3/2010
Msg: 63
After the first meet, do men ever ask for actual dates?Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
It's very different. You've already been face to face with that person and know there's an attraction. You also aren't wondering if their pics match their persona, or if their height/weight/age are false. You can call that a date because you're actually romantically interested, whereas online you're hoping you will be, but aren't actually sure yet


Looks are just 1 part of the equation. I could go out on a date with a person and not have enough romantic interest for a second date because of many other reasons besides looks. He could be arrogant, constantly complaining about his ex-girlfriend or life in general, rude to the waitstaff, make inappriorate sexual comments, has extremely poor table manners, has a girlfriend or a wife, has a drinking problem, not compatible with me etc. Those things can generally equally apply to dates with both people you had met at a bar, a bookstore, or a dating site.

Also suppose you had gone out on a literal blind date arranged by a mutual friend. I would consider that to be a failed date if you ended up not being physically attracted to the other person. Because the intent of it was to see if there was romantic interest. I think the key thing here is the intent. Not the actual result. To each their own.
 ICtheLite
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 64
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After the first meet, do men ever ask for actual dates?
Posted: 11/9/2010 9:37:40 PM

They expect an instant connection with a virtual stranger within 15-30 minutes.


Less than that..... statistically, people form an impression of anyone they meet in the first 6 seconds. That doesn't mean its accurate. If you think about it, in 6 seconds what is your mind going to evaluate .............. appearance, for the most part. Other than that.... how they greet you, what they wear, their posture, maybe their walk. All pretty superficial stuff but all things we equate with other qualities.

I knew that psych class would be good for something, lol.
 lostintheshufle
Joined: 11/8/2010
Msg: 65
After the first meet, do men ever ask for actual dates?
Posted: 11/21/2010 7:51:01 PM
Oh I ask out for dates after the first meet, but I usually hear... uh no chemisty. Uh I've got the flu. Uh there's someone else I like more. Uh I feel so safe when I'm with you, like you're a brother. Or I don't get call backs :-) Life is good.
 Kathynaturally
Joined: 11/15/2008
Msg: 66
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After the first meet, do men ever ask for actual dates?
Posted: 11/21/2010 10:33:23 PM
This is a good question. The first meet, isn't it a look over and establishing if there is a possible chemistry between the parties? Wouldn't it be nice if we could just give each other some positive feedback. There are so many reasons why you don't get the job, but no way to find out what it was? I like a second meeting where we can be relaxed and less stress to be real.
This year, men write and then seem to fade before even a meeting? What's that? Guess they caught a fish that fast? lol
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 67
After the first meet, do men ever ask for actual dates?
Posted: 11/22/2010 4:31:37 AM

Looks are just 1 part of the equation. I could go out on a date with a person and not have enough romantic interest for a second date because of many other reasons besides looks. He could be arrogant, constantly complaining about his ex-girlfriend or life in general, rude to the waitstaff, make inappriorate sexual comments, has extremely poor table manners, has a girlfriend or a wife, has a drinking problem, not compatible with me etc. Those things can generally equally apply to dates with both people you had met at a bar, a bookstore, or a dating site.

Uh huh.

Also suppose you had gone out on a literal blind date arranged by a mutual friend. I would consider that to be a failed date if you ended up not being physically attracted to the other person. Because the intent of it was to see if there was romantic interest. I think the key thing here is the intent. Not the actual result. To each their own.

I don't do blind dates, but if I did - I'd still call it a meet. However, I don't care what its called so long as it's understood it's not based on romantic interest since we've never met; it's only purpose is to sniff each other out and determine attraction and possible chemistry. From there the dynamic changes depending on what's determined.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 68
After the first meet, do men ever ask for actual dates?
Posted: 11/22/2010 5:13:17 AM
If two people meet and things are going well, there would be no issue when the guy says "why don't you invite me over" or something along those lines.

I've found that when I trust and am comfortable with a man, there is never a problem deciding where to go or inviting him over. However, that usually only happens with my real life meetings. Yet another downside of online dating.

When a man tries to rush the physical part and a woman is not at the same level as him, it just doesn't work. Doesn't matter if it is the 2nd date or the 5th.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 69
After the first meet, do men ever ask for actual dates?
Posted: 11/23/2010 12:24:29 PM
I can't answer to your dilemma. All I can say is how I answered to mine.

She requested a meeting through an unfamiliar POF channel which her profile warned me of certain key incompatibility elements.

In spite of the warnings, I responded. I reminded her of the fact that warnings of incompatibility should not be summarily dismissed. She insisted and my desire mounted. I later found she failed my requirements, but she insisted that I take legal counsel.

Say WHAT? Legal counsel for WHAT? I had never seen her FACE! What am I missing? Legal counsel means at minimum FACE-TO-FACE contact. No such contact EVER occurred. WHY is my LIFE delivered to the BOWELS of FAULTY justice?
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