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Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 23
The parents. Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Could it be that you brought home so many losers that they think this one is also a flash in the pan?
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 24
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The parents.
Posted: 5/24/2010 2:00:51 PM
No, I've never brought home anyone to meet my parents, I don't date much and I don't like to bring boyfriends home until I know we're serious. The guy I'm with now really wants to meet my parents though.
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 25
The parents.
Posted: 5/24/2010 2:11:27 PM
My parents didn't like him when he was just a friend of mine, because he's 6 years older and they feel the age difference is too big. They won't give him a chance, they think he's just after 'one thing'. They just don't like him period.

What do I do in my situation?

Well...if they are that closed minded and don't want to meet him and think he's only after sex,that's thier problem....not yours!

No, I've never brought home anyone to meet my parents, I don't date much and I don't like to bring boyfriends home until I know we're serious. The guy I'm with now really wants to meet my parents though.

At 24 years old,with parents like yours,just explain to him that if he sticks around
and proves he isn't just into you for sex,your parents will more than likely come around,but now isn't a good time to meet them.Tell him they have some issues and for him to not take it personally.
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 26
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The parents.
Posted: 5/24/2010 4:08:16 PM
Yes, it's their problem, not yours. Live your life and don't let them live it for you. You can't make everyone happy, so make yourself happy.
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 27
The parents.
Posted: 5/24/2010 4:22:20 PM
I can't tell you what to do or how it will work out. Sure, some have been in similar situations, but it turned out different, because they had different parents and boy/ many factors determine how things work out.

Since they haven't met him...I suspect they are completely closed off by the notion, he is 30 and you are 24, they feel at your age you haven't experienced enough to be able to see things from certain perspectives, etc. Most parents will meet someone, but may express their concerns in private to you....advise you, ask that you be careful, then let you make your own decisions.

I don't think you should push the issue with them, just as I think they shouldn't close the door to him....Boy, how many times have some parents done that, only to have kids make mistakes?

So far, this is only a not too deep relation yet, if me, I would continue on and be careful and see where it goes....use pregnacy precautions always.....if in time they see he is legit and has real feelings and is a good person, they should ease up....if in the course of life, it doesn't work out...for whatever reason, then it wouldn't have mattered anyway.
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 28
The parents.
Posted: 5/24/2010 6:02:27 PM

he said he will do whatever it takes to prove to them that he's a good person.
I guess that he can start with BACKING OFF on wanting to meet the 'rents. He is just reinforcing their opinion that what he wants is all that matters! Tell him to quit being so pushy!
Joined: 12/27/2009
Msg: 29
The parents.
Posted: 5/24/2010 7:37:51 PM
Could it be that you brought home so many losers that they think this one is also a flash in the pan?

I knew someone would beat me to it.... Every family has atleast one member who
brings a new one around every other month happy as can be because they're
just so SPECIAL and make them so HAPPY!!!

EDIT: theitgirl.... Ask your bf what's wrong with him. Meeting the parents is
horrible. You say they already knew him as a friend so now ask him why he
doesn't understand he has already met them...
Joined: 3/1/2010
Msg: 30
The parents.
Posted: 5/24/2010 9:05:56 PM

^^sounds like you're judging - isn't that god's job? You should have more empathy, I'm sure your parents initialy had some questions about going out with someone 20 years older than you, he could have been your father. Obviously this worked for you. And as for questions about sex, all young people have questions and comments about sex, they are in the exploring stage. We all need to explore what is right for us and we are human, we all make mistakes and hopefully we learn from them. Not every one is a virgin and not everyone is a slut and it certainly isn't up to me to judge one way or another.

Speaking as a parent, not all parents embrace their child's pick in a partner. Maybe they just need to get to know him. Sometimes parents are right, sometimes they are wrong. It's a time thing, you should go out with him and find out if you truly like each other. He may or may not be the "one" for you - who knows, but you won't know unless you spend some time with him. This works in the older crowd too, I'm searching for a life partner, hopefully my son will like who I choose.

I am not judging I am simply stating what she has said in past posts.
It wasn't the age that bothered my parents about my husband it was the fact that they thought that I was spending to much time with him and that they felt I wasn't following my dreams.

And I was simply saying that based on past questions that she asked that her parents have reason to maybe wonder if she is having sex with him. I can see asking some questions but "how to seduce a man" isn't really necessary unless you plan to do that soon. If she is not living with them anymore though why should it matter if they want to meet him or not? Obviously you want your family to like your partner but even if my parents wouldn't have liked my husband when we were dating wasn't going to change how I felt about him or that fact that I was dating him.
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 31
The parents.
Posted: 5/25/2010 5:47:03 AM
Im going to tell you a story of my first girl friend and it is complete opposite of my earlier post

when I was 16 I met a girl she was 15 and her father would not let her or her 17 year old sister date .... every one was afraid of their father and he was reputed to be mean ,strict and crazy .. so kids being kids ...we would sneak around and see each other ...well one day she and I ...her sister and her boy friend and two other young couples ...skipped school and went riding in my car all day and ended up parked in the woods listening to the radio and making out... things teenagers of that time did .... well someone saw us and called her father and we were surprised by him driving up behind us .... well the other two couples and the sisters boyfriend ran away into the woods ... the girls knew not to run and I was kinda committed because he had my car blocked in .. so I did what every brave 16 year old boy ( who had no choice ) would do ...I stood up to him ...I told him yes I have been seeing your daughter ..I care very much for her ...yes I know we are wrong for skipping school ...but its the only way we can see each other because you wont let her date me .. I told him it was my fault and I talked the girls into it ... then I hung my head and waited for all hell to break loose ... well he put his arm around me and said get the girls and let go to the house ... from that day forward I and only me could go and get the girls any time I wanted to ...I dated the 15 year old all through high school ... the older sister still could not date ... because no boys would come and ask him ... but both girls could go of with me any time ... and though me and Melinda finally broke up I still went by and visited with her father for years ...till the day he died ...he wasn't as mean as he was said to be

maybe your boyfriend needs to take it on tell your parents that he is not just after sex ...sometimes the direct approach is the best
Joined: 1/9/2010
Msg: 32
The parents.
Posted: 5/25/2010 9:21:29 PM
It seems like there's missing information.

Past boyfriends, ethnic backgrounds, strained relationship with your family?
Are your parents older than normal per your age? Like in their 60's?
Maybe they're a little afraid of losing you so they're slowing the process down?
Do you live at home?
Does he have a bad rep or is he from a group of friends your parents didn't approve of?
Does he go to the wrong church?.....

Based solely on what you wrote the only thing that makes any sense to me why they wouldn't want to meet him is that your "relationship" is so new? So why go "there" at this early point? Not that I agree w/ that, just guessing.
6 years between 24 and 30, isn't so much of a factor, to me.
Seems like it's something else?

Just asking, but why is he so intent on meeting your parents so soon?
Joined: 12/27/2009
Msg: 33
The parents.
Posted: 5/25/2010 9:29:32 PM
The wrong church? lol I know what you're saying but that's exactly
what makes it funny....
Joined: 3/1/2010
Msg: 34
The parents.
Posted: 5/26/2010 6:55:48 AM
I'll be the first one to agree that 24 and 30 isn't really a sizable age difference. But like other posters here I have to wonder about other details to this story. You have been dating this guy for just a couple weeks at the very maximum.
My parents met my husband on our 3rd date. He was the first guy I ever brought home to meet the folks and they knew he must be someone special if I wanted them to meet him so early on.
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 35
The parents.
Posted: 5/26/2010 8:17:24 AM
If you love your boyfriend, stay by his side.Don't force situations with your parents. Time will come when they meet.No matter what your parents think.They don't have any good reasons for not liking him. Sometimes parents are selfish or they want to over protect you.
YOU and only you have to choose what is best for your life.
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 36
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The parents.
Posted: 5/27/2010 7:42:27 PM
1. So what your parents don't like him, you are an adult now and need to start living your life without worrying about what your parents think.

2. Six years age difference isn't that much.

3. If he were just after one thing, he wouldn't be worried about meeting your parents.

4. Your relationship will not last if you keep acting like a child.
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 37
The parents.
Posted: 5/28/2010 3:59:29 PM
^^^^^^ Wow just goes to show the variety of attitudes towards relationships that exist in Modern Day North America. If my parents did not have a happy relationship in thier marriage how could they possibly be experts on what is required for my happiness. A very large number of us are products of broken homes these days. Nothing like someone who is lost telling you how to get where you want to go. We can learn from and be guided by others mistakes or successes but ultimately we must find our own path in life.
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