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 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 83
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I busted my boyfriend in a lie.Page 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I'm going to write this one more time.

The OP is on POF LOOKING FOR A MAN for TALK/EMAIL.

Why is it different that he was on facebook doing to EXACT SAME THING?

What is the OP talking or emailing these men about??? The weather?

 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 84
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/14/2010 10:27:26 AM
I'll start out saying "two wrongs does not make a right." Which is what has happened. I'm not going to discuss troll or not lets just pretend its real. Who's to say a lot of these are real or just college kids writing a paper. But anyways.

Girl creates fake Facebook page to lure me. Yes it is entrapment. It may not be the same as legal entrapment but it still is. Temptation is a m-f, if the relationship is going good then you'd be flattered to be messaged by some random hottie. But if it was going sour you'd be tempted to say wtf why not? She's hot and seems hot, my relationship sucks lets go for it. If it gets to the point of dating I'll break it off if not no harm no foul. If I made a fake facebook page and made the guy look like one of the Twilight guys I know I'd get friends and messages galore. I mean I now get hit on by more married women than straight women, If I looked like that I'm sure I'd get double if not triple. From cougars, milf's, barbies, etc every one of them.

We don't know his side of the story....what if he knew she made it and did it on purpose? What if he saw this as a way to get away from the crazy female. What if she tried to control him? Guys aren't the only ones that are controlling and mean to there partners. I've seen my fair share of women who can be just as ruthless as a guy would be.

 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 85
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I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/14/2010 11:23:13 AM
If a relationship is at the point where you feel the need to sneak around and laying traps to catch them in some sort of lie/indiscretion/etc., then the relationship is already over even if the other person is completely innocent of any wrongdoing. Once trust is broken down, regardless of the cause of the breakdown, then there is no relationship.
 Blind_Archer
Joined: 12/10/2008
Msg: 86
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I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/14/2010 1:32:13 PM

"well, admittedly I have been messaged by a "hottie" a very small handful of times while I was in a committed relationship before. I imagine girls get plenty of unsolicited come-on's online to the point that it can even be a nuisance. But to me, as a guy, if a good looking gal contacts me, I'm not gonna lie: it's flattering."
----------
Of course it is. Having said that, why be on a dating site when you're in a committed relationship in the first place?


It wasn't from a dating site. It was from myspace.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 87
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/14/2010 4:07:55 PM
reminds me of that old Pina Colada song's plot.... and as cheezy.

The thing about face book/myspace is that you have people on there that you will never meet. Really. get over the friend request.
Now the calls and texts for more, well I supposed you deserve that one ;) He is dishonest, and you are sneaky. you might as well stay together to safe the rest of us the trouble of running into the two of you .
 .dej
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 89
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I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/22/2010 10:35:39 PM
Jesus. You've been dating for 5 weeks according to your posting history.

The only thing I can feel for you is pity that you are so worked up by a) your inability to communicate with your boyfriend in bed, b) your inability to communicate with your boyfriend out of bed, and c) your inability to grasp the gravity of a 40-day relationship.

Are you sure you're not just looking for someone to plug into that part of your life so you can say you have a boyfriend? You're creating fake Facebook profiles to entrap this guy you've been seeing for a few weeks to... what? Find out if the guy you barely know is "the one"? How desperate are you? Perhaps he's (correctly) getting the feeling that there's something immensely wrong with you, and when a chick randomly hits him up on Facebook, he thinks something along the lines of "finally, a reprieve, perhaps a good justification to myself to end this train wreck".

Can I talk to him so he actually knows how nuts you are, and can run for the hills before you slit his throat in the middle of the night?
 vicavictor
Joined: 3/9/2010
Msg: 90
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I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/23/2010 10:43:40 AM
Blame the victim mentality. Turn everything around so somehow the victim is the one who is at fault. Not the cheater.

She's nuts, for finding out huh? She should have done the sane thing and let him cheat on her indefinately.

 .dej
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 91
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I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/23/2010 10:51:52 AM
I am insinuating not that it is her fault for finding out, but that the mentality she exudes in her previous 4 or 5 threads would be tantamount to putting a moat around the castle and telling the suitor to stay out.

She is nuts for the hoops she jumps through and the expectations she puts on her "boyfriend" while maintaining not even the most basic level of mature communication. Read her posting history. Keep up.


cheat on her indefinitely

I saw nothing to indicate that he was cheating on her, only that he was courting someone else (an imaginary someone). For all you know he's considering breaking up with her imminently and this imaginary facebook beauty came along at a great time. That's what seems most likely to me after she has described her behavior.
 itsallinthesoul
Joined: 6/26/2009
Msg: 92
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/23/2010 2:25:55 PM
What is that old saying .... oh yeah, ignorance is bliss.

Except it isn't when you have a nagging suspicion that the one you are with is lying to you. What if it is all in one's head....why toss away a decent partner over one's own insecurities? Those who responded negatively to the OP on her conduct probably cheat on their partners which is why they reacted so strongly to what she did.

I don't think it is any different than hiring a Private Investigator or something similar...only cheaper.

He is the jackazz for trying to hook up with another woman if he has a woman in his life that he has told that she is the only one. Woof Woof .....

Cheaters will always get caught eventually.....I love that the internet makes it so much easier to catch them. Simply having a profile on a dating site does not make someone a cheater either....what they do with that profile might....
 minako79
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 93
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/23/2010 3:49:25 PM

I find the best way to break up with a lying cheater is to move on. I mean cut off all contact, don't discuss it (if you know you are right what's to discuss?), let him think any damn thing he wants. I'm out of there, for good, never to look back.

good move, listen to daynadaze.
personally, listen to your gut instincts. they're usually 99.9% right off the bat.
 CountryErythGal
Joined: 5/13/2010
Msg: 94
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 7/9/2010 1:50:12 PM
This is interesting. You have to have trust. My BF was looking for someone else, I had suspicions he was no longer interested in me but assured me that was not true. I found out the hard way from a gal here that he had asked her out. Later, I confronted her because a picture SHE posted was not even her. I saw it on another site. She took it down but now my ex BF and I are no longer together. Instead, im here looking for someone now. Sometimes we just have to live with the chance that we are going to be successful in a relationship. Sometimes it works...lots of times it just doesnt. Good luck gal! Be honest, patient, learn to trust. You never know who's relationship your affecting when you do things like that.
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 95
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 7/9/2010 3:02:32 PM
well, well, well. a lil' review of your posting history reveals you've known this guy for about a month. entrapment is illegal but only if you're an agency of the government. so congratulations girl, you found out exactly what you needed to know with your sneaky lil' game. if you aren't happy, end it without ceremony. or do you require additional drama? i'm betting the answer is yes, but next time, why don't you try being a little less freaking presumptuous that some guy you've only been seeing a month owes you any kind of an automatic commitment without an actual adult conversation about what the status of your relationship is and where it's going??

jesus christ how i wished posting history still showed up on your profile.

[oops, just realized this is a retread from february. doesn't change my answer, though. ;) ]
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 96
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 7/9/2010 3:24:21 PM
I have to wonder if the boyfriend was feeling like the relationship was a little shakey and couldn't resist the temption you put out for him. Obviously you felt the relationship was a little shakey or you would not have resorted to this kind of trickery. I have to wonder if he were to have played a similar trick on you... whether you would have responded in an open and inviting manner just in case this relationship did not work... the proverbial guy on the back burner just in case . Maybe the two of you deserve each other.
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 97
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 7/9/2010 4:03:05 PM
i wonder what all the messages said. since you used a very pretty girl in the photo. maybe he is even suspisious that you are the one doing this and he is playing along?

for goodness sake...quit the games. it is Very tempting to do these underhanded things these days with the internet. but just communicate with him.
has he been cheating with others? if so....end it.
if not..and he was only tempted by your fake friend request..what are you going to do now?
not good really.
IMO: facebook is getting very annoying when used in that way.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 98
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 7/9/2010 5:36:50 PM
still laughing about the three way in the KFC bathroom.

That is a great face book or tweet update ;)
 anewstartforme
Joined: 4/4/2010
Msg: 99
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 7/24/2010 7:58:02 PM
it's ok OP, at least you found out now before things progressed any further. I caught my lying, cheating, thieving SO at the time "sexting" with a 19 year old (he was 51,) soliciting oral sex from a young male on craigslist and many, many other things. I got suspicious after he almost flipped because I touched his computer to check my own email once. He went off screaming and yelling about how the cord was lying different and how he placed his laptop the same way every single time just so he'd know if anyone messed with it. Warning bells and red flags all at once for me and sure enough, blam, he was caught.

I'm glad the no good, real piece of work is out of my life. Take a hint from me and just move on, it's so not worth it. I have a new man in my life and I have never felt the need even once to check up on him.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 100
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I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 7/24/2010 8:49:44 PM
I am not going to stick up for either party here at all.
In my opinion, both need to go their separate ways, as what they have now, needs LOTS of work to overcome future problems.

If you set someone up, you intentionally place bait for them to take, knowing they will take it. Then, after they take the bait..you go ballistic about the whole thing?

Kinda twisted logic there if you think about it..that's why I think message 9 has a pretty good point to remember.

I think both parties are at fault here, but we don't know the exact details of what took place, only one side. I'm trying to be fair.
 Dare to
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 101
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 7/25/2010 4:44:02 AM
You had your suspicions, you did what you had to do to find out what the truth was.... I would do something similar if i was in your position.... Is not like your BF is going to admit it if you ask him, so if you want to know you have to find out however you can...

Some people here think you're the bad person if you protect yourself by finding out the truth, don't listen to them, they just like to hammer every poster who looks out for themselves. You do what you have to do to make sure some ***hole isn't compromising your health by screwing whatever he can find to accomodate him........
 anewstartforme
Joined: 4/4/2010
Msg: 102
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 7/25/2010 8:24:10 AM
Because she's mistrusting that gives him the green light to lie and cheat??? That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. You're either a moral person or you're not, that's the bottom line. There are people on this planet who will cheat and those who know that it's just wrong and she managed to find one of the cheaters. I think it's a damn good thing she knows now rather than a year or more down the road.
 readthedamnprofile
Joined: 5/5/2010
Msg: 103
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 7/25/2010 8:36:15 AM
The relationship is over. He is not trustworthy and you did not do the mature thing in confronting him openly. Both of you have crossed some very serious lines and there is no way to go back and fix it from either end. Cut your losses and move on.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 104
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 7/25/2010 9:26:22 AM

Because she's mistrusting that gives him the green light to lie and cheat???



The relationship is over. He is not trustworthy and you did not do the mature thing in confronting him openly. Both of you have crossed some very serious lines and there is no way to go back and fix it from either end. Cut your losses and move on.


What relationship?


Posted: 6/6/2010 613 PM
My boyfriend's good friend is getting married in a month and I'm going with him to the wedding. I've only been with my boyfriend for about a month and I don't know his good friend from a hole in the ground.



Opie posted in another thread on June 6th that she had "been with the guy about a month". This thread was started June 9th.

Who expects a completely exclusive, lifetime committed relationship after 3 or 4 weeks?


Posted: 6/7/2010 626 PM
We see each other once or twice a week and have sex 3 or four times a night.


In that three or four weeks...they've seen each other 3 to 8 nights and it appears it is all about the sex.

I don't know how long these three to four "pops" a night are taking...but it occurs to me that not much time would be left for building a meaningful interpersonal "relationship".

I have no time or sympathy for cheaters. But in this case...I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 105
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 7/25/2010 9:53:53 AM
I think the better thing to do, would have been to express your concerns with your significant other outright, and take things from there (since you expressed having a "gut feeling") then im going to assume something was wrong, in your mind.


If he denies a ton of stuff, or is dismissive, then you can then decide from there if things are well enough to keep things going.




But, creating a fake profile, to "check up" on a person? That seems juvenile, and while you may find out your answer....doesnt some of your dignity go along with that? I just cant see myself going through the trouble of doing that.


NOT TO MENTION its a horrible way to live, or deal with people in general. You can rationalize it all you'd like, but it is what it is....and thats just flat out sneaky.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 106
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 7/25/2010 9:55:27 AM
More than likely they both got what they deserved. Life has a habit of working things out for peeps like this. Damn soap operas.
 Shortnsassy52
Joined: 7/4/2010
Msg: 107
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 7/25/2010 10:05:32 AM
Asking people if they are cheating on you is ridiculous. Cheaters also lie. So you do what you have to do if you have real cause for suspicion. You did it, got your answer, dump him.
 winteragain
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 108
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 7/25/2010 10:15:21 AM
this says a lot about the guy. for one, if the opportunity presented itself, he would definitely cheat on you and then act like nothing happened. but don't worry, every guy is like this. even the guys on this forum will cheat if a facebook stranger tempted him. so there is no defending him if every guy does this.
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