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 Wafta
Joined: 9/9/2008
Msg: 254
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Taken In Hand RelationshipPage 5 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

Well,in my experience it is very much the case that women still have the expressive role,so we'll have to agree to disagree on that. :)

Agreeing to disagree is something I can definitely do :)

I kind of agree on the two wages thing, but my parents for example, survived on one wage with 7 children to support, as did many other families back then (not telling when!!). The reason people can't do it now is because of greed, having to have everything. We didn't have everything, in fact we were probably considered poor, but we knew our Mum would be there at the end of the day, we knew our clothes would be clean, there'd be food on the table and our Mum would help with our homework if we needed it. I know what I consider more important.

My son did Food Tech at school for one term this year (Yr 7) and he cooked 3 things if my memory serves me correctly. I think you were right when you said maybe they're just lazy :)
 Jo van
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 258
Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 5/2/2012 1:24:56 PM

I can learn my lessons and even be brought through Noone's four stages of spanking through mere conversation and stern talkings-to. I do not need to be spanked.

Of course, her husband may disagree, and it what HE feels she "needs", which is the only consideration in this type of relationship.

As to "vulnerability", I think anyone who's in love, is vulnerable.

What I can't understand, is why women in their late forties, would be interested in this type of relationship.

When the women are younger, and the children are very young, I can understand the "traditional housewife" model.
Just "Doing housework" isn't the same as a full time job. I manage to do both, easily.
My house is spotless, my clothes are clean, and I get the shopping, and still manage to find time to post drivel on forums.
I don't "need" a "live in housekeeper".

Unless you're planning on banging out a few more... Or your children are under school age, I don't see this as anything other than an extension of 'sub/dom', or maybe just a woman who's looking for a meal-ticket.


 Wafta
Joined: 9/9/2008
Msg: 265
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Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 5/2/2012 2:06:33 PM
I did actually read back some of my stuff earlier and think I was perhaps being a bit of a hypocrite, I've been happily single for 3 years ish, who am I to tell anyone anything?

Oh well, we live and learn.....hopefully.
 Jo van
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 272
Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 5/2/2012 2:54:42 PM
I'm far too jaded, single minded and lacking in tolerence to put up with the usual give and take bollox involved in a LTR nowadays..

^^^ This.

Would you like to explain the need for the personal insults - not very gentle and nurturing of you?

It's more of a "christian" trait I think, you should see what she wrote about my parents.
Just because I objected to some return to biblical inspired, patriarchal misogyny.

I think perhaps it's only beta females who'd be in favour of all this, all the alphas seem to oppose the idea.


Edit:

I still don't understand what this thread is about. I have visions of my grandmother standing over a boiling pot containing an enormous ham whilst my grandfather sits in his armchair reading the newspaper. Is that it in a nutshell?

I thought it was about w@nking....?
 Wafta
Joined: 9/9/2008
Msg: 274
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Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 5/2/2012 3:01:42 PM

I still don't understand what this thread is about. I have visions of my grandmother standing over a boiling pot containing an enormous ham whilst my grandfather sits in his armchair reading the newspaper. Is that it in a nutshell?

In a nutshell, I hope so, because that's pretty much how I see it. What a lovely image too, makes me all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it.
 Nottinghamfellow
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 283
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Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 1/13/2013 7:17:16 AM
Seven months peace and it gets bumped again. . How does this work in a civil partnership relationship?
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 284
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Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 1/20/2013 3:23:34 PM
A Taken In Hand relationship is a wholehearted sexually exclusive marriage in which, to the delight of both spouses, the man actively controls the woman. The degree of control and the way the husband retains control vary from Taken In Hand couple to Taken In Hand couple, but in all cases both husband and wife actively want the husband to have the upper hand. No matter how strong, tough and forceful a Taken In Hand wife may be, and no matter how hard she might try to take control in their marriage, she would be aghast if her husband were to let her get the upper hand.

Sounds like a recipe to drive (if she is not already half way there) her to a break down!
How utterly socially and personally humiliating must a relationship such as this be?
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 286
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Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 1/21/2013 11:11:26 AM
I would enjoy it as a sexual kink, but if he tried to carry it on OUTSIDE the bedroom there'd be hell to pay!
 210ManOne
Joined: 3/4/2013
Msg: 287
Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 3/8/2013 1:17:20 PM
I am looking into getting into one as we speak I believe that my lover must submitt
she will bow if I ask her to bow I will be called Master and she will abide by my rules
if not her bare bottom will be spanked till its so red ....
 Chuzz16
Joined: 3/26/2011
Msg: 288
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Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 3/8/2013 1:36:28 PM

I am looking into getting into one as we speak I believe that my lover must submitt
she will bow if I ask her to bow I will be called Master and she will abide by my rules
if not her bare bottom will be spanked till its so red ....


I have never been more thankful for the Atlantic Ocean in the whole of my life. :)))
 Vampire_Cat
Joined: 1/16/2013
Msg: 290
Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 3/8/2013 2:10:06 PM

I have never been more thankful for the Atlantic Ocean in the whole of my life. :)))


Chuzz I couldnt agree with you more!

This is not a BSDM relationship in any form, its just thw words of a wannabe arrogant, controlling muppet, lets hope the delusion in his mind is treatable :)
 Nottinghamfellow
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 291
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Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 3/8/2013 5:58:53 PM
I think the ala mo was just tossing him self off and writing his wank fantasy. I get it so much on here it is as good as common place. Well common anyway. Don't let him bug you anyone.
 Chuzz16
Joined: 3/26/2011
Msg: 295
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Posted: 3/10/2013 10:01:48 AM
^^^^^^^^
Get a room you two.:))))
 Jo van
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 296
Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 3/10/2013 10:05:15 AM
I need a handsome sexy looking man , like yourself .

Unnecessarily cruel IMO.
He can't help being a ginga.



Edit VVV
Mind you,
I wouldn't let any woman tong my sausages.

Everyone knows, barbies are man's work.
 looking4ben
Joined: 1/8/2010
Msg: 298
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Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 3/10/2013 11:46:50 AM
Gosh, this is fun. I've just discovered these POF forums. How though provoking. It has provked my thought...

Comfort and happiness dervied from being controlled in a realationship is purely a function of an unequal power basis in society as a whole. As long as we have inequality of opportunity/wages/freedom and so forth some people (usually women) will seek saftey and security by teaming-up submissively behind a man. You will find this happening predominantly in societies were women have fewer legal and economic rights. Most easily rectified by education. In the meantime lets hope men in this situation are the much needed loving and responsible masters (I've met a few who are, it does happen).
 looking4ben
Joined: 1/8/2010
Msg: 299
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Posted: 3/10/2013 11:47:50 AM
Who's next...I shall eagerly await the next post....Off to see a few of the other forums whilst I wait...(-:
 Nottinghamfellow
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 300
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Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 3/10/2013 4:26:34 PM
Well I am glad I didn't put my washing out with all that smoke!
 Vampire_Cat
Joined: 1/16/2013
Msg: 301
Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 3/10/2013 4:40:40 PM

Comfort and happiness dervied from being controlled in a realationship is purely a function of an unequal power basis in society as a whole. As long as we have inequality of opportunity/wages/freedom and so forth some people (usually women) will seek saftey and security by teaming-up submissively behind a man. You will find this happening predominantly in societies were women have fewer legal and economic rights. Most easily rectified by education. In the meantime lets hope men in this situation are the much needed loving and responsible masters (I've met a few who are, it does happen).


this poster and guido should never meet, or like in scanners our heads will explode
:)
 Nottinghamfellow
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 302
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Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 3/10/2013 5:03:43 PM
Well as this is essentially a 'singles' site what can one expect. You could equally say that all the men on here who agree with the notion of the traditional taken in hand relationship are still single, and single because of it. So therefore outdated in their opinions and unable to get life partners. Most of the mixed sex married people I know live as partners ebbing and flowing in decision making and ironing alike. The childless ones having a job each etc. As for 'acting like men' what the fvck does that mean? One often reads the ads of gay men who call themselves 'straight acting' apart from 9 out of ten of such men that I have actually met, taking it like a lady, I have yet to determine what that means either. Is there room for acting in real life? It does remind me of a tale of a film set where off screen, John Wayne said to some other actor, 'walk like a man' to which the other actor replied, 'anything you say. . . . . Marion. ' (waynes real forename). Sorry this is from memory.
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 311
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Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 3/11/2013 3:38:45 PM

don't personally think this forum is a true representation of society today. Most of the posters who harp on about equality here are single and have been for a very long time.

Who is to say that this is a true representation of society? Maybe those posting in here are biding their time until the right one for them comes along? Maybe many of those that you seem more of a true representation of society have chosen to stay in a dysfunctional relationship for whatever reason and if they where represented in this forum would argue in very similar terms for the cause of equality?



Of all the people I know in marriage the men are the head of the house. No amount of womens rights or feminism will ever change that, because women are attracted to men who act like men.

Quantify that statement if you can.


Have you not noticed that all of the men who believe in equality and feminism are all still single.

Equality and feminism are linked but are also seperate to each other. Beside that the above statement is very obviously untrue,which alone blows your ignorant arguments out of the water even to the most neanderthal.



The equality people are talking about on here is absolute fantasy, the equality that happens in real life is women having a say in a relationship and the man helping out with house chores, that's as far as it goes.

I would agree that many couples can get by very happily in a relationship with such old fashioned rolls. But quite often they also have old fashioned views on many other things that are no longer valued or agreed on by modern thinkers.




I couldn't imagine growing up in a household where the man isn't the head because it would mean the child would not respect the father as the leader of the house. If my dad wasn't the head then as a child I would have manipulated my mother to over rule my dad and therefore got my own way. Every house needs a head or leader, someone who's word is final.

Your upbringing is your own personal reality. Why suggest that everyone in society should have the same upbringing as you in order to become a fully rounded human being?


Fair play if it worked for you, it wouldn't work for me though. Each to their own and all that.

At least a bit of humility!
But how can you say fair play and agree that it can work for others just after arguing that it can not work for society?
Are you just on a wind up?
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 314
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Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 3/11/2013 4:06:49 PM

I didn't, I said I can't see how it could work for me. It's my choice to live a traditional relationship, just as it's your choice to live a relationship based on equality, feminism or any other lifestyle which you subscribe too.

But you did not just state that it was simply your own preference in how a relationship should be for you.
You continued on by outlining the reasons why you feel equality is not healthy for society and relationships to which you did not respond to my questions.
 Jo van
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 315
Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 3/11/2013 4:26:07 PM

I think jovan deliberatly posts the way he does becauss he knows it's annoying. I tend to ignore his posts as they always seem to go off on a wild tangent.

Well, are they annoying...?
-In which case you obviously don't "ignore them".
Or is it just that you never have an answer...?

You constantly make statements you can't back up.
Like this one:


Most of the posters who harp on about equality here are single and have been for a very long time.

I've already been "married" once, for 27 years, and have two sons.

Mind you, your bringing it up at all, is a completely "ad-hominem" fallacy.
Which is what we've come to expect.
You never could argue a point, that's why you always 'bottle' it.

Or this one:

I couldn't imagine growing up in a household where the man isn't the head because it would mean the child would not respect the father as the leader of the house.

You wouldn't know this, not yet having had any any children of your own, but...
Children respect you (or not) for what you are, and very few people respect a bully, they might be frightened, but that won't last, and that's not respect.
Why not stick to making comments on things you actually have some experience and knowledge of..?
There must be something...?
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 316
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Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 3/11/2013 4:34:42 PM

You wouldn't know this, not yet having had any any children of your own, but...
Children respect you (or not) for what you are, and very few people respect a bully, they might be frightened, but that won't last, and that's not respect.
Why not stick to making comments on things you actually have some experience and knowledge of..?
There must be something...?

You make a better job of being a biatch than even my ex wife !
 Jo van
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 323
Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 3/12/2013 2:43:38 PM

Sorry but I'm going to call bs on this. You spend most of the day having 3 way conversations with yourself and your 2 other fake forum profiles on here.

Ah... If only that were true....
Sadly, I fear you are judging me, by your own murky standards.

No way is that the past times of a stable guy in a 27 year relationship!

Interesting...
Shouldn't that be "pastime"..?
My 23, and 30 year-old sons must also be a figment of my imagination then....?
I'll tell them, straight away. They'll be thrilled.
<--- NB I'm not laughing at you here, but rather, with you.
I'm not a "stable guy", and I'm not in a 27-year relationship,- any more.
(not that I ever was a stable guy, horses scare me, and I don't even suffer foals, gladly.)

I'm being genuinely honest with you here,

I don't think you know the meaning of the words "genuine", or "honest".

I rarely read your posts,

Good. You won't see this then...

I'm not the only one who's complained about your posting style, yet despite multiple complaints you still litter your posts with smilies and split the quotes up to the point where reading your posts becomes a chore.

That's a shame, I find reading YOURS, really amusing. <--- See..?

I like Jo Vans posts and usually agree with a lot of what he says!
There are a few people around here that make themsleves look like bellends ( naming no names of course! )
and he isnt one of them!

< ---That's not an arrogant or 'smug' banana, just a happy one.
Thank you Sparkly, the feeling is reciprocated.

On THIS Topic, the clue is in the title. "Taken in Hand
There's not much else to say.
It does what it says on the tin; "do what I say, or I'll beat you."
Primitive Shit IMO.
 daver987654
Joined: 11/2/2011
Msg: 325
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Taken In Hand Relationship
Posted: 3/13/2013 8:00:24 AM
My Mum had to take control of the family and had to work. My Dad was a typical working class male of his era. He would give my Mum housekeeping but it was never enough. He preferred being out with his mates, weekends away with the TAs and playing football, very little time for us. Until very late in life my Mum didn't know how much he earned. I'm sure if I asked most of the people from the area where I grew up they would come up with the same tale.
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