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 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 32
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our agePage 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Nah...let's just visit back and forth.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 33
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 6/28/2010 9:55:12 AM
~OT~ Post divorce, I said I'd never do it again. Then 5 years post-divorce, I met a man I couldn't imagine NOT living with. Today? 5 years post-relationship? I like to sleep alone (and have been told it's REALLY problematic.) I suppose this is one reason I remain by myself. Not many people like to see their partner get dressed after intimacy to go home to sleep or worse? Being asked to leave. JMO
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 34
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Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 6/29/2010 11:25:23 AM
really, it's the damn empty bed that is more of a problem. but, despite seedy (versus needy) offers from milfers and players galore, it ain't getting filled with just anyone yet!

my need is for the potential for a committed, long term relationship to evolve. a complete intimate relationship with the right person! after all, if you still have any hormones in you, why not?!*

if we could live together, great. if we live apart, but see each other a lot and spend several nites together each week? also great. if we did live together, there would have to be personal time and space as well. for me, relationships must evolve and evoke joy and peace. sadly, the last two long term relationships (3 yrs. and 1 yr.) devolved. a good thing we did not jump into living together, i'd say. so, be careful not to put the cart before the horse!

the relationship and not 24/7 is what is important at this point. after several months of it this last time around, the continuous dating with different men takes work. i learn a lot, but just have not found the "next one". so, i just do what i like to do--most of which is socially oriented and i trust, trying not to act out of fear or projecting scarcity. the projections are really worse than the reality of the "now".

i was a good businesswoman. now, on days when i start regressing with my feelings, i use the same approach as i did when i was worried about landing my next contract! i stop projecting, remind myself of my goals, get my sorry butt out there and do an environmental assessment! i assess my strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats--and adjust accordingly.

so, i think that the fear of PROJECTING SCARCITY is the problem. the empty house, for me, is not all that empty. i suppose if it were, i would feel needy or lonely. i host meet-ups, have parties, people come over and visit, etc. i also go to other people's parties, etc. lately, i walk into a venue or event and more and more people know me. it feels more and more like i do have a community. only living here a few years, it gets better and better. i guess i choose to believe in the universe lining up for me and just having to trust that.
 Patien$e
Joined: 2/2/2010
Msg: 35
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 6/30/2010 7:44:36 AM
I don't know about enjoying singleness but I think over time it could become a difficult habit to break. I was married for 30 years, divorced now for 2, and although I get lonely at times, I just can't imagine living with someone. Where would he put his shoes?
 Patien$e
Joined: 2/2/2010
Msg: 37
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/1/2010 5:20:50 AM
Dave of Indiana, s-x without commitment and FWB are two different things, to me anyway. FWB is a friendship expanded to include s-x. S-x without commitment is a relationship limited to s-x. Big difference.
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 39
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/4/2010 8:48:02 PM
if you are coming out of a 22-year marriage, i don't blame you for wanting to fly solo. jesus h christ, i was married for 5 years about 30 years ago and i STILL feel the same way.
 mustBright
Joined: 5/31/2010
Msg: 43
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/18/2010 11:53:24 AM
Living alone doesn't mean having to BE alone. Having friends and family over for a nice dinner, BBQ, drinks can be a lot of fun. Having the option to be completely alone is a luxury. Me time is important too.
As far as FWB, I think it is the perfect solution at our age. NOT just one night stands, but someone who you would like to see on a regular basis. Overnights, weekends at each others homes or away. Keeps it light,fun and a little more interesting than the usual daily routine. Someone who is independent and able to support himself, but knows the importance of intimacy and friendship and WANTS to keep that friendship alive for a lifetime. (not HAS to or he'll lose his shirt)

After all, aren't you supposed to marry your best friend?
Marriage just makes what you already have legal.
Somehow, legality just changes people.
I say skip the marriage piece, just love each other as best friends should.
 deepa2
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 44
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/18/2010 6:58:51 PM
Thanks NotNative for putting my thoughts into words. Who are these people? And the cat ladies.......frightening



 az109
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 46
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/19/2010 12:42:25 PM
I feel the need, but then there is the matter of who that somebody would be. She wouldn't be someone who disliked living together and is now glad she lives alone. She wouldn't be someone who is afraid of living alone, so she just wants to not live alone but still doesn't really like living with someone, either. She wouldn't be someone who lived in a tree house that was too small for two people, refused to live anywhere else, and expected me to sort of stand outside on a branch most of the time coming inside just to sleep and make breakfast. This is one of those needs that happens unrelated to the practical reality of meeting it.

Living together can be lots better than living alone. To not want it is to renounce a greater degree of happiness. It's not my fault that as a man I am happiest when with a woman, speaking in basic terms of the generic potential. That so far I have not met a woman in particular who is specifically suited to enjoy living with me is also not my fault. I will lay the blame squarely where it belongs if ever I figure out where that is. For now, I will suspect each woman I meet of being to blame, and in between meeting women I will blame, in the following order: the women who post at POF, the world at large, my parents, "them", the Shadow Government, any race with skin browner than mine, rich people, Big Corporations, aliens, The Church, and fluoridated water.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 47
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Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/19/2010 1:46:39 PM
"Living together can be lots better than living alone. To not want it is to renounce a greater degree of happiness."

In your opinion.

Years ago when I meet my late husband I wanted to live with someone it was great.

I have been single for 16 years, and have not met anyone who I would want to share space with again. At this point in my life, I would much prefer to no have anyone under my roof but me. In life, people change. They wants change. Nothing wrong with that.

Many of us are already retired, or semi retired, so don't want someone with us 24/7. Meeting someone who isn't clingy, and has a life without me that the value hasn't happened, so better for myself and others that I live alone.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 49
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/19/2010 4:36:59 PM
I feel the need alright, I am willing and able, but the problem is that the somebody is eluding me..
I hold POF accountable for not procuring the above mentioned 'somebody' and for suggesting all these incompatible Capricorn people as matches for me...



 2Irish1
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 50
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/19/2010 4:47:04 PM
Now years ago before she died...I never let her sleep in my bed...and then she became so feeble that I had to take care of her downstairs that never became an issue...after she died I immmediately found a replacement...and we've slept together every nite since my former dog died...yeppers Coco and I sleep very nicely together.

Everyone's entitle to their own opinions...some more pointed than others...some sharper than others....yea, I think that there aught to be a category for those that have been alone for too long...imo...some have strayed so far off the relationship path that GPS can't even help them...but, I also think that there's many who never want to live with a mate...it's just not their cuppa...as I always say to each their own
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 51
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Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/19/2010 6:00:51 PM
"I think that there aught to be a category for those that have been alone for too long..."

There is such a category, and it is right here on POF, and other sites. It comes under the heading of "Friendship".

ps Too long is subjective................too long for some, but not long enough for others
 clearskiesNM
Joined: 2/17/2010
Msg: 52
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/19/2010 8:06:21 PM
...this thread is just too depressing to contemplate.

I was married for 24 years, was in a committed relationship for six years, and I very much want to be with someone, have them by my side always. Maybe I'm odd. I also live in the mountains and perhaps I am just lonely. I keep hiding my profile because there are no women nearby and I can't stand the city.
 2Irish1
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 53
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/20/2010 3:52:04 PM

There is such a category, and it is right here on POF, and other sites. It comes under the heading of "Friendship".


I'm always looking for a new friend...I'm not really into clingy...nor do I really think that living together is any solution for me...I think that more of the Haitian babies should be saved and would love to do my part...actually I think a long distance relationship with an older, more experienced, worldly woman would be perfect for me...anyone know anyone like this???
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 54
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/20/2010 5:29:24 PM

actually I think a long distance relationship with an older, more experienced, worldly woman would be perfect for me...anyone know anyone like this???

A grandma's phone sex hotline?
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 55
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Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/20/2010 7:33:07 PM
Don't laugh. I've been contacted for phone sex, naked pix, cybersex via webcam. I don't do any of the above. I've also been added to and dropped from favorites lists faster that I can check to see who did it.

But good grief, anyone who wants to see naked pix or do the webcam thing with a 60+ year old woman has got to be either warped or desperate.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 58
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/21/2010 12:01:25 AM

actually I think a long distance relationship with an older, more experienced, worldly woman would be perfect for me...anyone know anyone like this???


A grandma's phone sex hotline?


I'm a grandma! How do I set up the sex hotline?

 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 59
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Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/21/2010 9:01:11 AM

What I have noticed is that some of the "I'm more than okay being alone" crowd didn't say "I'm okay being alone" a number of years ago. If you go looking through the old threads and see some of the same folks that are still on here, they used to be more upbeat about finding a partner and creating a new life. Now they have settled in to their singledom and proclaim the virtues, say they're only looking for activity partners or friends. I don't know if we all become jaded or bitter after doing the dating thing and all the rejecting or being rejected over time - it does get tiresome. Maybe we do just settle into what our lives have become over time and we are used to it, comfortable with it. Me, I'd still like a partner to share my home and life. Others don't.

I haven't been here - on POF - all that long, but I've been on other sites. I suppose it was silly of me to assume in the beginning that people, some of the men, were actually looking for what they said they were. But when it came to crunch time, talk about unrealistic laundry lists! I definitely would like to find a life partner, I just don't think it's going to happen on any match/dating site. I don't consider that jaded, just realistic. I have a lot to offer the right man and I'm not shy about saying so, but I also know that there are some men I'd drive crazy and others it would take me about a week to smack in the face with a frying pan. So I guess I have a laundry list, too - he has to have a functioning brain and love animals. I don't think it's too much to hope for, I just don't think it's gonna happen here, so in the meantime, I get email friends from all over the world.
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 60
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/21/2010 9:24:59 AM
I would definitly like to have a life partner I could live with and enjoy, what could be, some of the best years of our lives. In determining successful compatibility, personality and flexibility play a big role.

At this age it seems that likes, dislikes and low tolerance are set in stone for some. Finding someone with a fresh and positive outlook is the hard part.
 navycanuck
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 62
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/21/2010 5:37:51 PM
I agree with the OP, that I too don't feel the need to live with someone. The odd date is fine but nothing more for this gal.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 63
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Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/27/2010 10:53:01 AM

A grandma's phone sex hotline?


Most of the forum regulars know that I'm raising very young grandchildren; LOL! therefore...I can't wait to find out if I'm ok "living alone". I made the break 3 times....LOL! but, kids keep coming back....even downsizing didn't work; so I give up. I'm in the process of building a new home (5 bedrooms). LOL! NOW...when people ask me why I'm building a house so large...I tell them...well, the youngest grandson will graduate just as I turn 70 years old.....

AND THEN:

I'm opening "GrandmaBooBoo's Home for Wayward Seniors"!!!!

I dunno, I frequently compare myself to the "typical 3 yr old" who enjoys playing AROUND other kids...until they're done...then they want out fast. But, I also think there's a big difference between "living with someone"....as in, relationship; and living with someone, as in "roommate". I have to agree that it certainly is nice not to have to compromise on where to go to dinner, or what to watch on TV, or where to spend vacation, or whether the bedroom window stays UP or DOWN!!!!!

I honestly don't know any "lonely seniors"....LOL! in fact....you always know where to find the young ones...but older people....who knows where they are from one minute to the next!!! LOL! If I'm not at the golf course....I'll be on the boat! See Ya!!!!
 ILoveFriedEggs
Joined: 6/13/2010
Msg: 66
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/27/2010 8:07:59 PM
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age

if one answers yes regardless of their age, and is putting peer pressures and social expectations over personal desire, then they're nothing but sheep. and that goes for many things.
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