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 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 67
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Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our agePage 3 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
No sheep here.

Independent sleeping works for me.

Thanks to whomever came up with the wording Independent Sleeper.
 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 68
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Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/28/2010 4:49:28 AM

To not want it is to renounce a greater degree of happiness.


I know how to entertain myself, and enjoy it. But the truth is, under all, I simply believe that most of us are meant to live together.
....I absolutely believe that the desiderata for the human animal is a mate.
In the house. Coming home for dinner. Asleep next to you. Sharing jokes and stories and visions. Would I trade that for the freedom to eat while standing in front of an open fridge? Nope, not on your life.


^^^I very much subscribe to the posts made by Az and Wooby, and have a hard time with people's notions of 'freedom' and 'independence' and it's fixed place in the minds of some of those who seem to me anyway, to glorify their continued singleness.

I would think that after decades of living together, and for many... decades of living solo...that with the march of time, most would understand that there simply cannot be 'more' ahead....at some point in our march along the life's path, 'more' lies behind us than ahead; and that applies to how many opportunities exist for real connections in love.

To me there simply is absolutely no doubt whatsoever, that ...whatever freedoms exist in a currently independent state, that those 'freedoms ' and 'independence' in my life are STILL better explored, brokered and lived to whatever extent possible or necessary alongside a man with whom I feel an instinctual need to be with.

I'm no more into submitting to a tortuous relationship existence than anyone out there, but I know enough to understand that whatever I may have to 'put up with' will always be a marginal and secondary complaint, to the utter loss of not having that person in my life again; and in my opinion, choosing unwisely---meaning choosing personal freedom and independence over what I believe most of us truly need from cradle-to-grave; that being life explored skin-to-skin.

For those who think they've been putting out the wrong energy to the universe...two words: Change it.

Anyone in this age group needs in my opinion, to really grasp that there are really only a few true fantastic compatibilities out there with friends much less significant others; and really not much time to enjoy or to continue to enjoy an easy quality of life that our youth afforded.

If people are lucky to find someone that they feel is overwhelmingly positive for them, and with whom they feel passion, possibilities and ease....then be with that person.

Often the complexities and difficulties that we had in marriages and relationships prior were likely based more on the time of life that many of us were in...that being in the squeeze of our empire building and child-rearing phases. Throw in personality clashes, entitlement issues, addictions etc...and divorces that many describe akin tho the swirl of the Tazmanian devil, it's no reason most are disinclined to venture out again. However, with most of the quirks understood and known, I think that most of us are really very improved versions of our younger selves by this age, and most don't seem to appreciate this in others.

Don't let what I feel are misguided notions of "the ability of doing what I want when I want" and that whole litany of 'things one can do while living alone' come between you possibly having a most exceptional later life imaginable---I think people get in the way of life they want in their heart of hearts---It's one thing to 'posture' on this forum and among friends...but it's an entirely another to keep the blinders on and miss what are truly exceptional and rare opportunities out of fear and risk.

Life is risk. Life alone till you die is hazardous to one's health.

Take your #2 priorities and get out of your own way so that the true #1 priority can find a space to land on your welcome mat.

And yes, this is entirely my opinion---and an entirely an unshakable one at that.

edited.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 69
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Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/28/2010 6:58:34 AM
"have a hard time with people's notions of 'freedom' and 'independence' and it's fixed place in the minds of some of those who seem to me anyway, to glorify their continued singleness. "

I have to disagree with the above. I don't understand why people who want to live with someone care whether or not other people want to live with someone.

I don't know why those who want to live with someone feel it necessary to come up with negative reasons they "believe" that people who don't live with someone have.

I have spent decades of my life happily living with a partner. That doesn't mean that at this point in my life I want to have a live in. I think it all dependents on what we want at various stages of our lives.

I think that people are smart enough to know what they want at various stages of their lives, and respect their decisions on how they want to live.
 7iron
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 70
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/28/2010 10:46:48 AM
Msg 65 says: "when I want to live with someone I usually do."

I think she should have continued by saying "and when I want to live alone again after I have finished using this guy, I usually just drop him like a bad habit".
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 72
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Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/28/2010 2:37:31 PM

I have to disagree with the above. I don't understand why people who want to live with someone care whether or not other people want to live with someone.

I don't know why those who want to live with someone feel it necessary to come up with negative reasons they "believe" that people who don't live with someone have.

Oooooohhhh OooooooHHHH!!! I KNOW!!! I KNOW!!!!!

LOL! IS it because.... Those who "need" to live with someone don't mind fishing in everyone elses pond..but don't want anyone fishing in theirs? I mean...seriously....it's to their distinct advantage is they can convince the gender they're looking to hook up with that it's abnormal living alone...and at the same time convince all the competition (same gender) that not only is it "OK"...but preferable.
Think about it....that "instinct" she mentions....is really the "survival instinct". Those who "need" to live with someone (as OPPOSED TO those who WANT to live with someone...but don't NEED to) are undoubtedly spitting nails every time someone of their own gender adds another fish in the pond of those NOT looking for someone to live with.
Get it? It's a matter of SURVIVAL for them...and just a matter of "preference" for us...so they feel that they have much more of a vested interest in how the "vote" goes.

Since we don't care one way or the other...because we don't have to live with someone for our very survival....LOL! they'd like to eliminate us even from offering friendship, companionship...and...maybe even occasionally some wild monkey sex! LOL!
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 73
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Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/28/2010 2:57:57 PM
"Since we don't care one way or the other...because we don't have to live with someone for our very survival....LOL! they'd like to eliminate us even from offering friendship, companionship...and...maybe even occasionally some wild monkey sex! LOL! "

Never thought about it that way...................................you could be right

I don't see myself as fishing in their pond, cause I am always up front about not wanting a living in, and leave it up to others how they deal with this info. Men who are looking for a live in will pass me by, which is exactly why I am up front with them.

If women tell me that I am wrong to feel that way, it isn't going to make any difference to me.
 7iron
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 74
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/28/2010 4:47:41 PM
Making the statement "when I want to live with someone I usually do" , implies a pattern. It also implies multiple live-in relationships. It also implies entering a live-in relationship on a whim. Now that's arrogance.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 75
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Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/28/2010 4:52:06 PM
I do NOT feel the NEED to live with somebody ... at any age ... I have never felt the NEED to live with anyone ... I HAVE lived with others ... but can't actually imagine myself doing so again voluntarily ... last time I shared a house with a man, I actually kept MY house and felt the need to retreat to it periodically ... sometimes the interactions between us were just too intense for me to not feel the need to run and hide for a while.

I need my alone time ... I need my contemplation time ... it seems the people I've drawn into my life in the past have been the ones who feel compelled to live both their life AND mine, directing me, pushing me, not giving me the space to BE ...

from my point of view ... the biggest draw-backs of my living alone are that there's no one to catch a snake if it comes in the house ... there's no one to help me rake the yard ... no one to reach the items I want on the highest shelf ... no one to say, "good-night John Boy!" to as the house settles into darkness! that moment when the lights go out ... that's the most significant time of the day when I wish there was someone nice to say, "good-night" to ...
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 76
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/28/2010 6:10:21 PM

I absolutely believe that the desiderata for the human animal is a mate.


And I will disagree completely with this statement until you add at what age this mate is important. I know people want to throw generic statements around about the "vibe" some of us put out,,,,how to "attract"(if we WANT it sooooo much) someone into our lives,,,,etc,,,,but they are,,,,at best,,,,generic.

If we,,,are going to include humans in animal world,,,with words like "mate",,,then understand,,,,that "mating" is not so much of an importance as we age. We've done our thing with our children growing,,,thus our required "need" is less for such. And I honestly now question the ability of us,,,as humans to actually have ONE "lifelong partner",,,,especially in our North American society. With that,,,I don't think living with someone is actually a "need",,,,but more of a "want"(wish?????).
I also don't believe some people can turn around and tell others that ohhhhhh no,,,your lying to yourself if you don't want OR need another in your life to reach a plateau of "happiness". Far,far,far,,,,from the actual "truth", I dare say. (this actually will not get me much help in the dating category,,,,but it will be said none the less) There are people out there that are happy and surviving while being so-called "alone".
Cause I am a man,,,, I know more men that are willing to admit this,,,by their words,,,but more by their actions. When they are "lonely" they find that other. When they are not,,,,they don't. They are honest in there approach,,,and it works well for them. Of course many from the other gender don't appreciate it,,,,cause like here,,,they have a "belief" that to be happy, you must have that "other".
That maybe,,,,but that "other" does not have to live with you,,,full-time,,,,part-time or whatever. The sharing of moments, time, experinces can and does satisfy the requirement to "be with someone".
Now add to the mix,,,,our ages. Say what you want,,,,but our past will and does affect our choices that we decide to do today. If you are involved with enough train wrecks,,,,how many more do you need to experince before you say,,,,been there,,,,done that????? Throw me a number please?????? Andddddddd,,,,,when is the time to drop the green flag and invite this "other" into our household????? Cause I'm telling ya,,,,as we age,,,,I believe that this period of time SHOULD get longer and longer.

From what I see and experinced out there,,,it's the same "type" of people that continually dive into situations because of this "need" they think they have. And continually the same mistakes and problems. Continually,,,,,because of a "need". Humans may( I did say MAY) require some other human contact from a social aspect. But I doubt very much you can say that humans, "need" a partner or even a full time living partner. You may believe that requirement because of what some fairy tales tell ya,,,,but I do know toooooo many people that have proven otherwise.

Need,,,,want,,,,,require,,,,,,wish. There are differences. For a human to survive we NEED food,,,,shelter,,,and ummmmmmm,,,,,,really that is it. If ya have that,,,,it's up to the individual to decide how "happiness" is accomplished in their lives. Do NOT tell people that their NEEDS are this,,,that and the other thing. It's a fallacy and something that has been installed in you by someone,,,some upbringing,,,,etc. Look around how some can never find "happiness" though,,,as we look at them they have it all.The spouse, the family, the house, the toys, the job that takes care of business,,,yet still "unhappy". I ask,,,,,if those "needs" that some feel we must have are all met,,,,,what happened to that "happiness"???????

Oh,,,,back to the original question.

Nopes,,,,I've never had that NEED to live with someone.
 2Irish1
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 78
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/28/2010 6:23:28 PM

LOL! IS it because.... Those who "need" to live with someone don't mind fishing in everyone elses pond..but don't want anyone fishing in theirs?


Those must be world class surf casting rods and reels....to get to my side of the pond ya'll have to be able to send the hook out like, no less than, a thousand friggin miles.

And there we go...placing the "need" word on those who wish to "chose" a live in partner...boy, that smacks of a put down for other's that chose differently....while being agast at those who voice differences of opinion....as if that different opinion was directed at one individual poster.....sheesh....wateva

edit:

Here,,,let me help ya. Cause some of us are tired of being fed the fairy tale generic crap that gets fed to us. We get asked "why are you not with someone" a million zillion times. We get looked at like we are lepers. We get pretty tired about hearing that we,,,as a single person MUST have another to find "happiness'. We get generically stereotyped along the lines you just used.


Walt...down boy....I think all Rusty said was why were some posters so offensively expressing their choice to live alone...while she was posting live and let live...genetics was not one part of Rusty's post...that was back a small ways...
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 79
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/28/2010 6:26:37 PM

I don't understand why people who don't want to live with someone care whether or not other people want to live with someone.

I don't know why those who don't want to live with someone feel it necessary to come up with negative reasons they "believe" that people who do want to live with someone have.


Here,,,let me help ya. Cause some of us are tired of being fed the fairy tale generic crap that gets fed to us. We get asked "why are you not with someone" a million zillion times. We get looked at like we are lepers. We get pretty tired about hearing that we,,,as a single person MUST have another to find "happiness'. We get generically stereotyped along the lines you just used.

It is hard finding someone that has no issues with bitterness, anger, trust issues or that are just so closed off that no one can enter their world. Some have been alone too damn long they have become closed and cold.

Ever think that maybe you must "unlock" the door to someone's world,,,but you are unable?????? Some are just tired of leaving the door wide open,,,,cause ya know there are some nasty critters out there that can sneak in.



Hope that helps a bit on the understanding end.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 81
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Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/28/2010 9:36:25 PM

I don't see myself as fishing in their pond, cause I am always up front about not wanting a living in, and leave it up to others how they deal with this info. Men who are looking for a live in will pass me by, which is exactly why I am up front with them.
LOL! of course you've never thought of it that way...because you're not "desperate" to convince yourself that the world will come to a screeching halt if you don't have a live in!

I'm all about "choice" from beginning to end....and certainly, it's no skin off my nose what anyone else CHOOSES for themselves....LOL!!! or what ever "lies" they have to tell themselves to get there; but....like Walts, and some others....I sure as hell ain't puttin up with someone telling ME....how I have to live MY life....to be HAPPY (THEIR BRAND).

While being my usual cynical self in an earlier post....there was a basic truth spoken in the jest. I believe that Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs pretty well sums up where those folks are who "need" that live in.....in the OVER 45 age group.

As Maslow's theory goes, it's difficult...if not impossible to move to the next level until one is quite secure (grounded) in the previous. I.E. The first basic human needs are physiological....food, water, shelter, etc. It's not until the individual is "secure" in those needs that they begin to think in terms of the 2nd level....Safety. In this stage, their concerns focus on the security of....health, employment, resources....essentially, hanging onto what they got at Level 1. The 3rd Level is the "need" for "love and belonging. I think this is where many folks get trapped and simply can't move beyond it. At this stage, people are looking for friendship, sexual intimacy, and family. It's not difficult to see that WITHOUT "mastering" this phase of human development....they cannot move on to Level 4. This is where personal and professional achievement, SELF confidence, self esteem and the respect OF others, and to others is the primary focus. Notice that at this level, we don't seek to "be loved and accepted"...nearly so much as we desire to be respected. That is NOT to say that we don't want love and acceptance...but it's no longer one's Holy Grail. We've realized that there are things beyond that.
Level 5, SELF ACTUALIZATION. An estimated 5- 10% of people ever reach this level of development.
Well...here...it's easier to just cut and paste it:


5) Cognitive: to know, to understand, and explore;

6) Aesthetic: symmetry, order, and beauty;

7) Self-actualization: to find self-fulfillment and realize one's potential; and

8) Self-transcendence: to connect to something beyond the ego or to help others find self-fulfillment and realize their potential.

NOW, it is entirely possible (but not totally likely) that all "relationships" could be a small scale exercise working toward "self actualization". I do believe however, that it's equally likely that those neck deep in "love and belonging relationships" will never achieve self actualization....which, Hey, that's fine too. But logically, it's the very rare relationship which is on equal emotional, financial, spiritual, professional footing....that allows 1 "partner" to take a step up when the remaining partner just can't/won't budge.

I am reminded of the last scene from "The Ghost and Mrs. Muir". Gene Tierney is telling her daughter that she's had a "full and satisfying life"....and that "she wasn't MEANT to have "THAT" kind of happiness". For those unfamiliar with the storyline; the Mother was an author, inspired by "the Ghost" (Rex Harrison); whom she had...I suppose, metaphorically fallen spiritually in love with....and never found a living man who could measure up to him.


Here,,,let me help ya. Cause some of us are tired of being fed the fairy tale generic crap that gets fed to us. We get asked "why are you not with someone" a million zillion times. We get looked at like we are lepers. We get pretty tired about hearing that we,,,as a single person MUST have another to find "happiness'. We get generically stereotyped along the lines you just used.
LOL! I hear ya Walts!!! I hear it all the time myself. Here's what I tell them when they ask me why I'm single.
BECAUSE I CAN RUN FASTER THAN ANYONE ELSE! LOL!
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 82
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Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/29/2010 7:05:02 AM
"Please note that the first two sentences of mine that you quoted above are just the exact reverse of someone else's post from today, Moricma or whoever. I took it from her post where she states that she is more than fine on her own. Her choice and I'm okay with that, it's her choice. But I chose to reverse what she said to prove that this topic moves both ways. "

Please do not quote what I said out of context. No once have I said that people shouldn't have a partner if that it what they want.

This thread is about people telling other people they have to have a partner to be happy and how annoying that is. Some posters here have proved attempt that they will use peer presure tactics to point fingers at people who don't feel the need to live with somebody at our age.

Let's us all agree to let other people be..............exactly the way they want to be.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 84
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Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/29/2010 8:12:20 AM
"I have stated many times on here that someone's living arrangements, what you do with your life, whether you want a partner or not, etc. is their choice. I have never told someone how they should or shouldn't live their life. I could give a rat's azz whether someone wants a relationship or not."

That is exactly what I said repeatedly in the last pages.


"Let's us all agree to let other people be..............exactly the way they want to be. "

ps It wasn't my quote. I just responded on the thought posted by someone else.

I don't know if the problem with this topic is that people need to look to themselves as to why they can't just let other people be themselves.
 tree2854
Joined: 5/29/2010
Msg: 85
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 7/31/2010 3:49:54 AM
My first post, so bear with me.

I find it odd that personal choice becomes an issue here. I am the best judge of what makes me happy, am I not? If not, well that is my own failing, and convincing me that living with someone full time will make me happier is not even worth the effort. Certainly I have had folks repeatedly try to convince me of my wayward choices in the past. Usually coming from folks who were not happy in their own lives.

But, to the point of the thread, I am exactly in a place where I have been out of my marriage, out of the house, for 2 yrs. 5 mos. I am just now getting to where I want to see someone. There are lonely nights, but I lived alone for most of the time between when I was 18 and 34, when I was first married. I "lived with" two people before getting married, but in both of those relationships, there was an out, either I stayed at her place and had another place to hang my hat, or vice versa.

Cohabitation with one of those young women was easier for me than it was with my ex wife of 18 years. She used to get up in the morning, as she had to be at work earlier than I did, and I would hear her in the shower, and drying her hair, kind of lying there, feeling real nice about being with her, sort of drowsy, maybe falling back asleep, then with her robe on, she would get back in bed with me, maybe for only a few minutes, and snuggle, it felt wonderful.

Well, fast forward to today, and it seems so many women on the dating sites are living alone in a fairly large house, often out in the exburbs, meaning 30-50 miles from the city, and want someone to fill the place of their husband who has gone. They seem to all have the same longing and feel rather afraid, it seems to me, that they are going to be alone the rest of their lives. Sentences like, "my last first date" frankly scare the hell out of me. I have women friends who say things like "I don't want to die alone". We don't have control over that really, do we?

So I am looking at, yes, I want to be intimate with someone and monogamous, but not necessarily live with them. There are many reasons, and perhaps my marriage experience is partly at fault for tainting me in that respect, but just as much is my experience living alone, and the need for alone time.

I have in my mind's eye an ideal of what would work, and of course that is what would suit me best, but of course that is my ideal and I would be open to compromise for the right person.

I think that folks in rural areas might should think about the idea that either they are going to have few choices, especially if they have pretty much come up empty after years of seeking someone, and maybe they need to compromise. I will get to the possible solution later.

I had been totally against anything like a long distance relationship, having been in one in the past, and it being so tough and lonely to be separated when you are in love, and I am talking hundreds of miles, either from living 1400 miles apart, or after moving in together, having a job that required me to be out of town M-F and drive from 3-6 hours each way to come home for the weekend. It was a strain.

But recently when emailing a woman in the sticks, who was happy living in the wild areas, but lonely, and felt she had exhausted her mate search, as she knew everyone in the nearby town, it came to me that I have a place, which is fairly cheap to keep. And that she needed a warmer place for the winter, having grown tired of thirty years of hard winters, and that she also needed to come to a big city to get all sorts of service, like dental and medical, and that she enjoyed going to shows, which never made it to the hinterlands, and enjoyed museums, opera, big league sports, whatever. I am of course thinking how nice it would be to be where she lives, not only for its wild beauty, but to escape the hated hot summers here.

So to the folks living so far out, the idea that you might have relationship with someone in a larger city, might work out for both of you. If the need for companionship is all the time or nothing, of course this would not be an answer. But the idea of cohabitation part of the time, a week here or there and perhaps a few months at a time with each other, or just a weekend, if the desire grows so strong.

But many of the things I think having a relationship that does not involve living together, that I find attractive are the ones which sort of soured me in my marriage. The anticipation of seeing someone you haven't seen for a while, making one excited, making one (both hopefully) be very tedious about looking and smelling good and getting nicely dressed for the partner, taking them out on a real date, and anticipating the intimacy later. I will say that while my ex was meticulous about hygiene before we were married, it wasn't long until this was not a priority, and that was off putting for me. I think the idea I have in mind keeps one in a state of, hopefully, always trying to put their best foot forward for the other person and could perhaps avoid the old taken for granted, becoming routine issues of living together full time.
 az109
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 87
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 8/15/2010 7:19:58 AM
Now you're talking!



By the way, after the "Over 45" age bracket comes the "Way Over 45" age bracket. You are only "Over 45" for a short while. In fact, before you know it you'll be in the "Over 46" age bracket. Those bracket makers are doing a booming business. They started in book-ends then discovered the market for chronological pigeon holing. I think you have to be in at least the "Over 38" bracket to even know what pigeon holes are, as that information is kept in paper books, which nobody under 38 reads anymore.

I especially agreed with this part of your post: "ahhhhhhhhh".
 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 88
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Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 8/15/2010 7:29:38 AM

Need is too strong a word ... but a nice, sweet, warm guy to be with, share with, sleep with, experience life with ... ahhhhhhhhh ... those soft, gentle nights with him next to me, watching him sleep, being everything to each other ...

Until I take my last breath on this earth, I'll want that ... it's just too nice when it happens, and men just too wonderful not to want to have that special one with me ...

^^^lovely....and exactly my point of view.
 ronosaurus
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 89
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 8/15/2010 9:47:26 AM
To tree2854, Msg. 85. Great first post!
To GrandmaBooBoo, Msg.72. You reminded me of why you are one of my perennial PoF forum favourites!
To Sweetest, Msg. 68. You leave me wishing I were 50 again!
And for all the Elvis fans out there, he captures the loving sentiment like a vocal Rembrandt in "Mary in the Morning"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igD3vjbZyxI
 sosdd
Joined: 12/14/2009
Msg: 90
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 8/15/2010 9:57:58 AM
I have a youngish daughter still at home, so not exactly living alone. I don't see living with a man again. I am happily in a relationship. I see him a couple times a month and talk to him every day. I don't feel any need to have him live with me or me with him. When I kicked my ex out, I took over his closet and still don't have enough closet space. I took over his dresser space, I still don't have enough dresser room. Why in the world would I want less? I like not answering to anyone too. So no, I don't feel or have a need to live with my SO.

My mother, aunt and sister also live by themselves.
 aarons916
Joined: 1/31/2010
Msg: 91
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 8/31/2010 8:13:07 PM
I know I'm far from 45 but I like gaining the wisdom of folks more experienced than me and I have to say I feel the same way about wanting to live alone. I only base this off of a 2 year stint but I quickly realized that living with your SO sucks the romance out of a relationship. I guess it all boils down to the type of person you are but as someone who enjoys his space and independence, I don't see myself living with another woman. That's not to say we can't be together all the time and stay the night at each others place but eventually I want to be able to come home to peace and quiet.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 92
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 9/1/2010 12:00:40 AM

And I will disagree completely with this statement


Not sure *how* one disagrees with an "I believe" statement, lol! I'm not insisting that anyone else do one single thing.

 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 93
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Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 9/1/2010 1:25:18 AM
I lived with men from age 17, all for about 4 to 6 years till I was 39, with only short breaks in between, and even then I lived with flatmates or my mother. When I told my man to leave my flat in 1997 I was terrified of living alone, wondered how I would cope! I was SO institutionalised I could not imagine living without a man.

13 years on, I'm LOVING it! It would take a very special man to make me want to give up the total freedom to do what I want when I want. I enjoy the quiet, the not having to keep taking someone into account every minute. I agree with what the other posters have said.

When I fell madly in love a few months back I started fantasising about us living together, but I think it's more a silly romantic dream. He's extremely mellow and easy-going, but I think his choice of music and his smoking would get on my nerves.
 aarons916
Joined: 1/31/2010
Msg: 96
Do you feel the need to live with somebody at our age
Posted: 9/1/2010 11:30:52 PM

OF COURSE men are going to say that they don't want to live with anyone. You women make it too easy to have sex and our clothes washed without any committment.

I am looking for a woman who will tell me No. Sometimes.


They'll tell you no all the time after living with them awhile, or after you get married, whichever comes first for you.
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