Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Getting married in the Catholic Church      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 lilcontrary
Joined: 3/16/2010
Msg: 38
Getting married in the Catholic Church *followup*Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Me again!

The "talk" has taken place and I have received an apology for his assumption I would join the church. I am chalking the experience up to over enthusiasm on his part. The ceremony will be civil (unless I change my mind) and private with an open house after the fact.

Thanks again for all of your comments.

Mary
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 39
Getting married in the Catholic Church *followup*
Posted: 7/21/2010 1:06:09 PM
^^^ Excellent news, Mary!


<div class='quote'>People who "don't care" about religion, usually suddenly become religious when the kids come along. Since atheists are a minority in this country which I have no intention of leaving, this is very important to me. I have to have this talk very early on to be sure I'm in the clear. If she says she goes to church on easter and christmas, that's still too much for me and I'm checking out; I've learned my lesson.
 Annie was here
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 40
Getting married in the Catholic Church *followup*
Posted: 7/21/2010 3:22:59 PM
Maybe people should stick to dating,having long term relationships and marrying people who are of similar beliefs and values.You would think that this would be a logical smart thing to do,instead people would rather bash their heads against walls dating people whose religious, political,societal etc... beliefs are in direct conflict with their own.

Everyone is always out to change someone.Personally I could not be bothered and prefer my relationships to be free of conflict.I don't want my partner looking at me with "tolerant" eyes and a smirking face.
 lilcontrary
Joined: 3/16/2010
Msg: 41
Getting married in the Catholic Church *followup*
Posted: 7/21/2010 6:59:15 PM
Msg 51 ^^^^ Annie, your post made me so sad. I really do not want to date a clone of myself. Good grief, even I don't like me that much. lol

In my world I try very hard to accept people as they are in all their diversity. If I do not explore outside of my comfort zone, how can I expect to grow as a person and accept other religions, races, cultures or political views? I do not have to agree with them or accept their thoughts as my own. The world is already in a terrible crisis right now because of this type of intolerance.

Tolerance starts at home. Smirking.. if they are smirking then they are intolerant and need to not be in your life anyways.

I really wish you the best of luck in finding someone that will not ever confront you or make you leave your comfort zone, if that is truly what you desire. I myself would never desire to be mentally stifled by sameness or contentment. Best of luck.

Mary
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 42
Getting married in the Catholic Church *followup*
Posted: 7/22/2010 6:59:06 AM

If I do not explore outside of my comfort zone, how can I expect to grow as a person and accept other religions, races, cultures or political views?
You wanna be friends with different folks of different strokes, great! You want to screw and marry someone like this, you have to be prepared for conflict.
As an atheist, I'll NEVER date a religious person!
 lilcontrary
Joined: 3/16/2010
Msg: 43
Getting married in the Catholic Church *followup*
Posted: 7/22/2010 10:18:46 AM
Msg 53 ^^^^^ Truths.. Heated discussions are fine and dandy as long as it's understood it's my right to not worship. I guess everyone picks their battles but, at the end of the day some will have argued about religion, how to feed the world, the war in Iraq or if the toast was burnt that morning. Everyone argues at some point or another.. If you don't, then I am thinking "that ain't healthy".

BTW, I was married to someone who considered themselves to be atheist. He was just as zealous as any christian trying to convert me into being a non believer.

Mary
 lilcontrary
Joined: 3/16/2010
Msg: 44
Getting married in the Catholic Church
Posted: 7/23/2010 5:50:47 PM
Lil brooker.. Yes your right we have NOT done all the homework. We were at the beginning stages... however the whole situation is moot at this point.. I have called it over not relating to religious differences. *taking deep breath*

I still think there are a lot of things to be gained by understanding and learning others religious preferences.

Mary
 hyoid
Joined: 5/12/2009
Msg: 45
Getting married in the Catholic Church
Posted: 7/24/2010 11:19:35 PM
There may be a procedure where the Catholic church "blesses" a union while not treating it as one of their sacraments. Let me relate.

My ex is a mexican national. I was divorced from an american civil marriage. I am an un-believer. She is catholic. At the time, the mexican government did not recognize church ceremonies as official marriages-they required a witnessed civil union as well. I had agreed in advance that any children we had would be brought up catholic.
So we were married by a judge in her parent's garden.
For our tenth anniversary, I finally agreed to a church ceremony , as her mother had been "suggesting" those many years. 2 days before the mass we met with the priest. He's irish.
"You know father, I'm not catholic."
"Wellll, what charch were ye raised in?"
"I was baptized a lutheran."
he slaps me on the knee and shouts "CLOSE ENOUGH!"
The mass was a little different from those of my cuñados I had attended in mexico. It's a little hard to say how different because, though my spanish was pretty good, I couldn't get anything from spanish with an irish brogue. I didn't take communion but my suegra was satisfied.
Good party, too
 lilcontrary
Joined: 3/16/2010
Msg: 46
Getting married in the Catholic Church
Posted: 7/25/2010 7:38:44 AM
hyoid^^^^^ Thanks for sharing. Your experience gave me a bit of a much needed smile this morning.
I suspect most is left to the priest's discretion and how hard line they really want to behave. Thank goodness your priest was fond of Lutherans! Do you think he may have just thought after ten years you two might just last? So why not?

Mary
 ItsComplicated76
Joined: 7/1/2010
Msg: 47
Getting married in the Catholic Church
Posted: 7/31/2010 4:19:22 AM
It was great! Pre marriage Catholic school run by one of the most old fashioned Priests I think I have ever encountered.

Great verbal instruction and booklets for homework! All an abundance of workable information designed at educating a would-be-spouse on how to make a marriage last by being a good little "wifey".

Yes indead, after reading the sections about how wives should be willing and ready at all times to succum to their husbands sexual desires, that it's o.k. to experiment but even "radicals" who try operating a home differently finally do realise that a womans place is the kitchen and laundry and that even if you think it might be o.k to engage in sexual intercourse with the fiance you live with on the night before you marry it's most certainly not...I was armed and ready...

Now divorced...perhaps I needed to take a refresher course?

Btw my views here pertain just to the one experience & Priest...although I no longer believe in religion per se I do believe in God and have no judgement on anyones else religious or non-religious choices!
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Getting married in the Catholic Church