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 AUTHOR
 smartazzjohn
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 7
how long is long enough?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Loving someone doesn't mean

You want to live with them
You can deal with their proclivities
You agree with how they deal with problems
You want to spend most of your "free" time with them

Getting married just because you love someone may in fact be foolish. Just look at the divorce rate, it indicates loving someone really isn't a good enough reason unless you don't care if it doesn't last "until death" do you part. Commonality is probably just as important as love in a marriage. Many people say a relationship and/or marriage requires a lot of hard work. It seems to me that if it's that hard it would be doomed to fail. Shouldn't being with someone come easily instead of being a struggle and hard work?

Six months may be enough time to figure out you don't want to spend the rest of your life with a person. But is it enough time to figure out if you want to? Maybe I'm just to stupid to figure things out quickly. Or maybe I'm too cheap to pay for another divorce because I didn't figure things out correctly!!!!!! LOL
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 18
how long is long enough?
Posted: 8/19/2010 1:46:44 PM
I would say after 6 months & an extensive amount of consistent contact & exclusivity with each other he's either milking it or doesn't trust you. If he doesn't know you by then he never will.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 21
how long is long enough?
Posted: 8/20/2010 4:54:56 PM
I agree - a man who has such a low opinion of marriage that he trivializes it to a piece of paper probably also sees sex as no more special than taking a pee.
 mystic01kitten
Joined: 6/12/2009
Msg: 24
how long is long enough?
Posted: 8/22/2010 11:51:32 AM
thats it gf...its who you cant live with out!!! But it has to be mutual...one sided things will never work...and angusih and resentment build...the key is to avoide this relationship killer...and some times we are just like lemmings...
 michkat58
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 27
view profile
History
how long is long enough?
Posted: 10/31/2010 11:06:01 AM
hi there not just a harley girl...well i for one will never wait for two years again for a man to figure if he wants to spend his life with me...i hear you about being gun shy though...every time you lose a piece of your heart it makes it that much harder to open up for love...how long is long enough?...i'm taking the 6 month advice on this one...thanks for the advice
 48509Jerry72450
Joined: 8/11/2010
Msg: 28
view profile
History
how long is long enough?
Posted: 11/5/2010 10:08:58 AM
after reading thru this one I am wondering why everybody thinks its always the guy that dont want to get married ? , we are not all bad guys.

so whats everybody think about this seen ;;; a couple is walking thru the mall and the guy wants to go into a jewelry store to look around and the the girl says no way and walks off the other way ,,,, what should the guy think she wants now ? , does she really want him long term or is he just mr. right now ?
 michkat58
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 29
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History
how long is long enough?
Posted: 11/11/2010 9:30:14 AM

a couple is walking thru the mall and the guy wants to go into a jewelry store to look around and the the girl says no way and walks off the other way


well maybe she was just shy, maybe you should have given it a little time and then tried again, maybe you should have bought a ring and just asked her...

what was it that you were thinking?
 michkat58
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 30
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History
how long is long enough?
Posted: 11/16/2010 8:30:01 AM
well i'm not sure about the rushing into divorce thingy...and rushing into love either for that matter...it's just that i think most men realize that women want marriage, so they dangle that carrot for as long as they can, and some are using rubber carrots...just not fair

yes 6 months is not that long is it?...it would definately depend on how much you were with that person in 6 months eh?...one day a week would equal 24 days, doesn't seem like near enough that way...besides, you're a youngen sweetie so you have months and months to decide things...

i just think 2 years is frigging pushing it...a heartache waiting to happen
 michkat58
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 31
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History
how long is long enough?
Posted: 11/19/2010 12:01:56 PM

and is totally gone in 2 years.


2 years is a long time to give someone that has not professed undying love for you and a proposal of commitment...after 2 years i just lose the dream or something
 michkat58
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 33
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History
how long is long enough?
Posted: 11/29/2010 8:29:43 AM
well thank you for the nice compliment ash...i always make my intentions very clear, but sometimes time just slips away so quickly...

after a few months has passed i feel lucky that it all turned out the way it did...although i prefer to be friends with everyone, i guess some folks just can't put themselves there...and you're right, about the asking part...i should have just said that i wanted to get married and just maybe things would have turned out very different...but i've been married twice, once for 10 years and once for 20, so just this once it would be soooo great to have a man actually ask me to marry him on his knees or something, heeeheee...give a little romance, and it could mean the world to someone
 michkat58
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 35
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History
how long is long enough?
Posted: 11/30/2010 6:06:46 AM
lmao...too funny...well i guess there are concessions to be made for all man kind eh?...but see at least you were still willing to at least try it...

love takes a long time to get over, and sometimes one never does truly "get over it"...we just move on to a higher safer place to lick our wounds...

i used to be so sorry for some of the women on here that just kept meeting jerk after jerk..wasting their time and crying a river...i thought it could never happen to me because i just don't budge that easily...another lesson was learned "the jerks of the world have all the time in the world, cause when they are finished hurting you, they just move on to their next conquest"

i'm just thankful that i have an awesome family and true friends, without them it would have sucked big time...thanks guys and girls, i oew ya one
 michkat58
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 36
view profile
History
how long is long enough?
Posted: 3/2/2013 10:04:42 AM
well i see familiar faces on this site...i've been off on another 2 year fantasy...i wish i would have taken mr "ash"'s advice...well one thing to say positive about the subject, i got some bruises and scratches, but i'm not broke...but dagnabbit, anther 2years pass and i'm still needing a mate...i know the old style libbers would refute with the principal that you don't "need" anyone to be happy, but i so love having someone to laugh, eat, sleep with, kiss, fish with, just i guess a partner in crime period...so how long is too long?...any time now would be great with me

kat
 AlexanderBogue1989
Joined: 10/3/2014
Msg: 37
how long is long enough?
Posted: 10/31/2014 11:44:58 AM
Desperate won't help.
 michkat58
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 38
view profile
History
how long is long enough?
Posted: 11/17/2014 10:29:58 AM
wow, it's been a minute since i saw this forum...did i sound desperate alex?...i've never been desperate a day in my life...the question is, how long does it usually take the individuals to want commitment?...since this post started i've learned more and more... women cry, then 1 day the crying stops and you move on...men, they party and other manly stuff at first, then all of the sudden they realize how dumb they were...too late, hearts closed to you and the pain you caused...the moral of the story?...there is none, i just wanted to see how others viewed the time span between date and commitment
 Debisue64
Joined: 1/19/2014
Msg: 39
view profile
History
how long is long enough?
Posted: 12/20/2014 9:13:05 AM
Sometimes the question isnt "how long before they know they want a commitment"..but How long they can KEEP that commitment.

I want the commitment... but not the paperwork.

I want the respect and the "emotional alignment"

I have been dating a guy for almost 4 months.. and had to TELL him that continuing to have an active profile on a dating site is a bad thing.. Makes a girl start to lose interest right?

While he hasnt dated or even met anyone else.. I still have a wait and see attitude. Actions speak louder than words.
 Agreatdayfortwo
Joined: 11/9/2014
Msg: 40
how long is long enough?
Posted: 12/22/2014 9:22:46 AM
There are a lot of women in my opinion that believe they have a BF. This is based on her seeing him once, maybe twice a month. There are a lot of guys that profess to not having a GF. This is based on him seeing her once, maybe twice a month. A woman will take herself off of the market once she has this sometime BF. A guy will be at the bar, on dating sites etc. Why do you think there are so many more guys on dating sites then women? Why do most so called single bars have so many more guys hanging there then women?
The relationship drags on until she gets tires of his game playing or he finds someone he really cares about. It doesn't take two years.
 Debisue64
Joined: 1/19/2014
Msg: 41
view profile
History
how long is long enough?
Posted: 12/28/2014 2:28:23 PM

There are a lot of women in my opinion that believe they have a BF


True.. not enough contact leads a man (or a woman) into continuing to LOOK.

If you like a person.. you step up the contact. If you want more.. you ask for more..

If the sentiment is not returned.. I think it ends pretty quickly..

Personally.. I let his active profile go on... because i thought that he just wasn't ready for the next step... Was waiting for that next step.. took down my profile after 2 months of dating.

When my profile is active.. I get quite a bit of activity.. its a pain in the ass to keep telling men no... so I just take it down.

When the right guy comes along.. we will be in sync.. no drama
 Agreatdayfortwo
Joined: 11/9/2014
Msg: 42
how long is long enough?
Posted: 4/6/2015 6:04:13 AM
One has to wonder, how many on here that are divorced would have passed over their former spouse based on their profile? Leave out the wisdom that comes from the age you are now. Go back to who you were then and who your spouse was then. Leave out what you learned of him or her over the years. Put yourself back to the day you first met or when you first were attractive to your future spouse. Would you have picked that person based on a dating website?
 michkat58
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 43
view profile
History
how long is long enough?
Posted: 5/31/2015 5:21:11 AM
wow...so insightful...and I have to admit, I would have ran, fast...I've met so many wonderful people on this site...bound to happen in 10 years eh, hahaha...had one real boyfriend and one husband...life is certainly a trip...I now know what to ask of a future mate, If I ever get there again...1-do you like snuggling 2-can you fish 3-wherever we live, are you willing to have both names on the lease, title, etc.....

how long is long enough?...a day, a year, a moment
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