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 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 26
Dating the non-party typePage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
allergic to cigarette smoke. I never was the clubbing type. And funny, friday night in the gym is always vacant; it is one of favorite times, no waiting for a set or machine. Plus I cant dance, so whats the point?
 tallblonde7
Joined: 9/5/2010
Msg: 27
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 9/14/2010 7:51:14 PM
I don't go to bars and clubs all the time. But sometimes I like going to a bar or club to listen to some music, dance, have a few beers, watch a sporting event, hang with friends etc. If I met a man who didn't like bars or clubs, it wouldn't be a dealbreaker. Provided that we had some other things in common and he wasn't judgmental towards people who go to bars or clubs. I would do other things with him and go to bars and clubs on my own time.
 Captain_Wayne
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 28
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 9/17/2010 2:20:02 PM
The only way I enjoy partying is with a few friends and/or family members. I do not and never have liked nightclubs and bars. This may have something to do with the fact that where I grew up and spent most of my life, there was not a nightclub in the area where ten to twenty fights a night did not break out on a given Friday or Saturday night. Most of the people who frequented the clubs in that area were just plain and simple trash. The quality of the women I meet on the Internet is far higher.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 29
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 9/17/2010 3:23:57 PM

If I met a man who didn't like bars or clubs, it wouldn't be a dealbreaker. Provided that we had some other things in common and he wasn't judgmental towards people who go to bars or clubs. I would do other things with him and go to bars and clubs on my own time.

Exactly.
 fashiongal2
Joined: 9/15/2010
Msg: 30
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 9/19/2010 8:50:07 PM

If I met a man who didn't like bars or clubs, it wouldn't be a dealbreaker. Provided that we had some other things in common and he wasn't judgmental towards people who go to bars or clubs. I would do other things with him and go to bars and clubs on my own time.


I also agree. I don't have a problem with someone who doesn't like going to bars / clubs. What I don't like is when some people make broad generalizations such as all people who go to bars / clubs are drunks, immature etc.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 31
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 9/19/2010 11:14:20 PM
OP - I was never the party type in college. I went to a few parties, but it was all-drinking, all the time. I don't drink and I've never been interested in booze and beer, so I never found those parties to be interesting.

That doesn't mean I didn't socialize. I talked to people in the daytime when they were sober. I hung out with a different crowd that played board games and watched movies at night instead of getting drunk.

"Everyone" doesn't party with strangers and run wild. "Everyone" doesn't want to get drunk and hook up with strangers every weekend. The people who tout that nonsense simply don't know (or don't want to know) anyone who isn't a party animal. If your so-called friends are doing things you don't like, why are they your friends? Why don't you find new friends with the same sensibilities as yourself?

You don't have to be a party dog. You can be the in the band that plays at the party. You can be the club owner who rents out the space. You can own the valet service that tends to the cars. You can sell the food and novelties, or be the cop that hauls drunks to the tank to dry out, or the fireman to saves the life of the girl who rode with the idiot who smashed his car into a tree.

Why be ashamed of not being a narrow-minded follower when you can decide how much is enough for yourself. Take a gal to see a live stage play instead of getting drunk by a bonfire.

BTW, I didn't hit the clubs until I was in my 30's.....had great time dancing, but still I didn't drink. It was wonderful exercise. The next day I'd go ride my mountain bike.
 BeatrixKiddo2010
Joined: 3/19/2010
Msg: 32
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 9/19/2010 11:16:39 PM
Why do you care what anyone else thinks? I've never been the "party" type either. If you enjoy doing other things, find others who enjoy doing those things with you as well. Find other people outside of your usual circle of friends. Join a club, or group or something outside of school.

Do what makes YOU happy. That's what's important. Not what everyone else thinks.
 Captain_Wayne
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 33
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 9/21/2010 2:16:51 AM
Being home alone with someone as cute as Beatrix would be far better than being at any club, but then, just call me silly.
 shadowm89
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 34
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 9/21/2010 3:20:56 AM
Hey look at it this way you doing your self a big favor instead of going out and getting wasted all the time and sleeping with some random girl you may not know and end up getting her pregnant. Your saving your self from having it happen which is a good thing to look at. Yeah finding women at your age at club's or bar's is a lot easy but there other's place to find them as well that don't deal with drinking. At your age i never did any of that stuff i always found other thing's to do then go get wasted i am still that way and i am 27.

And being a morning person and going to bed early at night is nothing to be ashame about you can look it at this way when you become older you will be the one at work wide awake all happy because your wide awake while you have the other guys all tired because they either went out last night or stay up to late.
 cherryyblossom
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 35
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 9/26/2010 5:48:21 AM
i guess you are all right, but someone like me would have a hard time dating because of all the messages being sent out to people saying that they must be party freaks or go to bars and clubs to find a potential date. Over the summer, I met up with two women who wanted me to go to a club with them for a first date. When I declined and said I would like to do other things like walk around the park, grab a quick bite, etc. they shot me down. That is really insane.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 36
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 9/26/2010 1:18:33 PM

Over the summer, I met up with two women who wanted me to go to a club with them for a first date. When I declined and said I would like to do other things like walk around the park, grab a quick bite, etc. they shot me down.

Would it have killed you to go to the club? You don't have to drink, you know. At the very least, when someone suggests a date like that, offer similar quieter alternates (a walk in the park is not a similar alternate to a club).


That is really insane.

I think a lot of people here would think it's insane to turn down the offer of a girl who asked you out (I'm assuming she asked you out since she chose the place. If you asked her out, this shouldn't have been an issue).
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 37
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 9/26/2010 1:25:53 PM
Hmmmm if I were invited to a club on a "first date" or meet, or whatever, I would just bring my friends along, and we can make a night out of the entire event. Honestly it wouldnt have been that big of a deal for me.


I like to party, but im not exactly the partying type. I do not seek out clubs, nor do I check up on events going down at the hot spots. I do like getting my drink on, and every now and again I like to be around a LOT of people, with music and such. It really depends on the venue.


I'd prefer the dive bar, the lounge, or a sports bar spot, over a jam packed club.



But....KNOWING a "party girl" has its benefits too. They have friends ;)
 cherryyblossom
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 38
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 9/26/2010 5:10:43 PM

Would it have killed you to go to the club? You don't have to drink, you know. At the very least, when someone suggests a date like that, offer similar quieter alternates (a walk in the park is not a similar alternate to a club).


i was afraid that if i did go to the club, i, having no experience what-so-ever in that kind of life, would get easily taken advantage of. Next thing I know, I will end up on the streets far away from home drunk and with no money and transportation. What are similar alternatives to a club/bar in case something like this happened again?


I think a lot of people here would think it's insane to turn down the offer of a girl who asked you out (I'm assuming she asked you out since she chose the place. If you asked her out, this shouldn't have been an issue).



I did not turn the offer. I just wanted to do something else. Besides, they seemed more interesting in using me for entertainment than actually getting to know me more and I am sure everyone agrees that clubs and bars are not good first date ideas. Also, based on the bags under eyes and short temper, these two women party way too much.
 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 39
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 9/26/2010 8:27:23 PM
haha LMAO,

going out and getting to sleep with some random girl is about the best u can usually hope for and expect.
otherwise its a whole lotta guys and a whole lotta attitude smoking up the joint.

i'd rather pass on that.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 40
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 9/26/2010 10:47:25 PM

i was afraid that if i did go to the club, i, having no experience what-so-ever in that kind of life, would get easily taken advantage of. Next thing I know, I will end up on the streets far away from home drunk and with no money and transportation.


This resembles trolling because it's so absurdly naiive, especially for a guy from Brooklyn. This "kind of life" mostly involves regular folks tossing back drinks and listening to music. It's not as though you have to do a bump of cocaine and drop your life's savings on a game of Three Card Monty before you can enter. You're probably more likely to be swindled by the suits on Wall Street in the middle of the day.


What are similar alternatives to a club/bar in case something like this happened again?

A similar alternate would be a relaxed lounge, like in a hotel. Depending on when and where you go, it can be quite comfortable and conducive to conversation. And, like any bar, it has non-alcoholic beverages available.

I wasn't sure initially if you were talking about two separate women inviting you out to bars and then declining your alternate suggestions but now it's clear these were two women together asking you to join them so this wasn't a date but an offer to involve you in plans they may have already had. Makes sense to me that they didn't want to do something different. I still think you should have tagged along or at least asked the one you preferred out for a separate occasion.
 nicegirl1974
Joined: 7/25/2010
Msg: 41
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 9/26/2010 11:57:20 PM
i'm so in this situation right now omg ...unreal
i'm committed as u can see in my profile :)
i'm the late hawk i go to bed late i hate mornings i do mornings just at my own pace....if someone is nagging me or rushing me your gonna get a blast !!!

BUT my partner is a morning person up at 5;45am faithfully 7 days a week even his family is that way if we stay the night( which isn't often cus both his parents are heavy snores) there house is running full tilt by 7 am meat is out for supper marinating and the day is planned and no quietness for the people in bed still....who cares cus they r up lol.....

WHAT U CAN DO : MY PARTNER DOES.....
if we do go out to the bars he lays down for 2 hours before going out OR IF HE CAN'T then he drinks 2 coffees,tea before we go out......or

decides to walk to the bar and meet the group to let the fresh air wake him up some....or
if its a planned event threw the week go to bed early and then by the weekend your body isn't running overtired........in which this is what my in laws do they are in bed by 8pm and up at 5;45am Sun-Thurs but Fri ,Sat 2-3-4am....they go to bed and up by 5;45am.....


but that being said no matter what time him or his family go to bed on the weekend 2-3-4am they are still up at 5;45am everyday cus there body can't sleep anymore they get head aches when in bed to long.....and his parents are heavy drinkers to but my partner isn't he is casual.....

we look at it this way if we want to have fun see people then we suffer the consquences and then the next night just go to bed early.....i compromise for him !! we go out the next day he is off work only( if he has to work the next day then no )...... around 7-9pm and if we so stay till last call then they next day we stay in.......

Good Luck !!
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 42
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 10/31/2010 10:01:57 PM

I dated a few guys when I was younger that weren't into going out all the time - I just didn't expect that they had to go with me when I went out. Nights I didn't see them were the nights I went out with friends clubbing, partying, whatever. I don't think you have to be into the same stuff if you're not joined at the hip.


Absolutely.

There is also the fun factor. Although no one wants to date a drunk, there is something to be said for being flexible enough to just go out, have a good time, maybe drink a little too much and not give a damn. No one wants a lecture when they are trying to blow off some steam on the rare occasion. (I do mean rare.)
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 43
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 11/2/2010 7:41:36 PM
Why would you want to hang out in bars? A bunch of strangers who drink, smoke, scream, and bump into you all night long? Please explain the thrill.
 1suburbs
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 44
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 11/2/2010 8:01:46 PM

Why would you want to hang out in bars? A bunch of strangers who drink, smoke, scream, and bump into you all night long? Please explain the thrill.


1. Have a few drinks.
2. Hang out with friends.
3. Watch a sporting event
4. Dance
5. Listen to some music.

If bars / clubs aren't for the you, that's cool. But all not bars / clubs are overcrowded with drunks, filled with smoke, expensive, extremely loud etc. There are many different types of bars and clubs.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 45
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 11/3/2010 12:57:54 AM
When I declined and said I would like to do other things like walk around the park, grab a quick bite, etc. they shot me down. That is really insane.


That's NOT insane. That simply means those women don't fit YOUR lifestyle, so you should FORGET about them. FORGET. Do you know what that means? It means you don't go home and slam the door because you "missed something". All you missed was a miserable time in a place you didn't want to be with people who aren't your friends and don't want to do anything you like. Why obsess over that kind of loss. FORGET IT.

You need to swing your focus onto the type of people who do things you LIKE - and how you can meet those people and DO THINGS YOU LIKE. If you like sports, join a sporting club or league and have fun playing sports and meeting people who like to play sports.

Yes, it can be that simple. What certain is that you will not find like-minded people by going to places you don't like with people who expect you to act in ways you don't like.

You have to learn how to forget about women who aren't suited to your lifestyle. I know that little head says different, but that's what porn is for. It's 10x cheaper and there's no learning curve.

Don't give up on ALL women, just leave the ones who aren't your type alone.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 46
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 11/3/2010 1:10:01 AM
OP- not everyone is the "partying" type....

however- if you are going to stay out till 4 am or later on several nights of the week....here is a hint for ya...

when you get home from school/work...

take a loonnnnngggg nap....

at least an hour or 2....then hit the clubs at 11 or so...
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 47
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 11/3/2010 4:44:09 AM
I can do that at home or at a nice quiet restaurant, preferably the first choice. However, I work two jobs and am around a lot of people so I'm pretty sick of strangers by the time I get home. If you are unemployed, retired, a hermit or work by yourself, I'm sure other parasitic strangers are okay by you.
 Captain_Wayne
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 48
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 11/3/2010 6:58:24 AM
There is not a thing wrong with being the non-partying type. I can tell you from experience since I was once a veteran club partier, that couples who spend a lot of time going to nightclubs and getting drunk usually do not last together. Nightclubs are a poor place to look for romance unless you just want a one night stand. And then you had better be protected because the chances are that the person you are with has slept with someone different every weekend for the last couple of years.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 49
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 11/4/2010 12:14:56 AM

when you get home from school/work...take a loonnnnngggg nap....at least an hour or 2....then hit the clubs at 11 or so...


During my nightclub/dancing years, I used to do just that. Not every week, but fairly often. I had dance fever, so I'd get to clubs early, dance for 3 hours and get home at 2am with sore feet. Sometimes I'd get a breakfast burrito on the way home.

Taking a nap was good, because by the time I got to the club, I was still waking up, and as the club started to come alive, so did I.

Water with a squeeze of lemon - that was my main drink. Sometimes I got Diet Coke.
 umbrellaman21
Joined: 9/21/2010
Msg: 50
Dating the non-party type
Posted: 11/4/2010 4:42:22 AM
There was this guy that went to meet a woman from a dating site at a bar/grill.....one of them was rather drunk...but he's a non-drinker...however, he don't care if the woman drinks...he just doesn't like drinking.

And she was hassling him, "Why don't you drink? Why don't you drink?!" He says he just doesn't like to drink....one of them said they couldn't date him, simply because she drank but he didn't.

I heard some people say, "Never trust a person who does NOT drink", I think this derived from their own guilt of drinking too much alcohol, and somehow they feel the NON-Drinker is judging them simply because they aren't joining in with the rest of their peers.

People who have a problem with people who do NOT drink, are really the ones with the issues themselves.

Yes, so thus, peer pressure can still exist well into your adult years.
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