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Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 386
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No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I wantPage 19 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

That is true... and I am sure you would; but I somehow suspect she is happy for you that she was able to NOT have you trade places with her... you will be reunited (at least I believe so) but in the meantime, it's awesome you have such wonderful memories. She really does sound like a special person. Having no regrets when someone passes is the best thing any of us can do; knowing we loved with all our hearts while they were here with us to love, without those horrible words "if only". Kudus on what sounds like a beautiful relationship. There's enough toxic angry darkness in here; the warm stories are really especially appreciated.


I have lots of Regrets & "if only"....
Listening to Her & delaying the trip to Harry Potter World in Orlando, till the next year... When it turned out, there was No Next year....
Never taking the trip to Hawaii, that She want to take.. There was always something else We wanted to do instead of that...

All the things We didn't do, because I didn't want to, but She did... Things I won't do now, because She's not here to do them with... Even if someone else wanted to take Me there..
Joined: 2/9/2016
Msg: 388
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/18/2016 6:20:06 PM
You think its bothering you......I'm one of the ones its happening to. Im a doctor, and a fairly talented musician and I have done modeling and am considered by many attractive. Im not saying this to brag, but I have been told the same thing numerous times....and it quite frankly angers me. But I have the answer at least to why it happens. The answer is not what you expect, so brace yourself.
I have arrived at this conclusion after over a year of dedicated research and interviews on the topic because it was happening to me often. There was a time when it didnt happen to me but then it began to suddenly, so I had to first look at what changed in my life, and the answer was nothing in a bad way. I was more successful financially, and musically, and was in the best shape of my life, so what then ? the answer is that I went on Testosterone replacement therapy around the time that all this happened. When someone goes on that, their body stops producing as much if any of their own natural testosterone. When that happens the hormones that are precursors to Testosterone also are not present in adequate quantities as well. Although there are many that don't believe in pheromones ( a substance that is detected by the vomeronasal organ ) Science has adequately demonstrated that pheromones exist and are subconsciously picked up by females. Science has shown that the vomeronasal organ is vestigial in humans and non functioning with no nerve connections and therefor could not pick up pheromones, however further studies were spurred on due to the evidence that these pheromone substances could be picked up. That evidence being that if you put a group of women together for a period of time their menstrual cycles will line up with each other, indicating that chemo-reception is occuring. The olfactory system therefore adapted to also do the job of the vomeronasal organ as that organ is no longer functional .... we have evolved out of using it as the olfactory system improved over time. Men can as well, but we tend to rely more on things like looks, personality, and things in common when picking a mate. Women are subconsciously programmed to be attracted to males that have a lot of one of the main precursors to testosterone that is secreted in males sweat. Men who are Testosterone replacement therapy long enough not only don't produce that hormone in adequate quantities, but they begin to convert extra estrogen from the testosterone replacement therapy. So although these men on therapy have plenty of testosterone, function normally or in many instances as good as they did during puberty, tend to be young looking, in shape, and happy usually successful people ( all benefits from having good levels of Testosterone ) Women subconsciously pick up on the lack of testosterone precursors as well as the extra estrogen which is more of a woman's hormone and are instantly turned off no matter how good looking, successful or otherwise you are. This is happening as well because women like to believe in that love at first sight thing which is portrayed so well in romance novels and TV. One of the things that I realized in my research was that all of the women that I dated since being on Testosterone replacement have had lesbian tendencies which now makes sense. Now if you first get to know a woman as a friend, and she is attracted to you but with no spark, it may be possible for that girl to rationalize out that it doesn't make sense that she is not into you and then date you. This unfortunately has not happened to me, so I will be testing some of the pheromone colognes that are on the market.....but this is where science has shown that these may not be effective since we have not proven to be able to properly isolate the hormones into a cologne. Many of these companies are out just for a buck, so Im only hopeful now.
so why is this happening more and more you ask.....its because over the last 30 years men for the most part have 60% less testosterone overall. It depends on how many phyto-estrogens in the environment a mans mother was exposed to during pregnancy as well as the mans exposure through puberty and throughout life. These harmful man killing substances are everywhere in water bottles, soup and soda cans, the plastic in your car, and literally just about everywhere. Woman are smart creatures so maybe explaining this to them when they dont understand why they are not into someone even though they feel they should be could help....I will try this as well. I will keep you posted on the results.
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 389
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No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/18/2016 6:23:21 PM
No chemistry means no sexual attraction. Simple. It is not strictly an American thing and you are generalising. Women and most men want that spark of attraction otherwise you are just friends. It is natural for those looking to date and to mate....
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 390
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/19/2016 11:20:12 AM
it might also be woman-code for, "i DO know what I want, and little boy, you don't have it yet."
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 391
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/19/2016 5:46:16 PM
That was facinating Mr. Tunedintoyou.

Seems like you got the nature part of your issues covered.
Might now want you focus on the nurture part. ;)

Best of luck with your research endeavors. :)
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 392
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/19/2016 5:51:10 PM
Cliff notes please...
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 393
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/19/2016 5:59:10 PM

He's saying......get off your lazy arse......and do some us women folk can get a good whiff and decide if we want you to drag us by the hair back to your mancave. :D
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 394
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/19/2016 7:28:24 PM

These harmful man killing substances are everywhere

the plastic in your car,

That's it.
I'm selling my truck and getting a horse.

, soup and soda cans,

Joined: 2/12/2015
Msg: 395
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 1/3/2017 9:00:19 AM
Old Post but hey, if the shoe fits....
I have recently met a girl from here, of which I found extremely attractive, and it was safe to say she felt the same. We went on a string of enjoyable dates, we even had sex a few times. I thought everything was going great for about 5 weeks...until I mentioned the potential boyfriend word. Too soon maybe?

All of a sudden there was a shift in how she behaved around me. I noticed she was no longer trying to hold my hand, to touch me, or be intimate with me in any way. It started to bother me, so I questioned her as to why her demeanour towards me had suddenly changed.

She said it was because she wasn't sure if we had that spark, that something special to move forward from just dating. She said she didn't think it was going to work out, so we left it at being friends. Of course, I never saw her again.

She said that she found me physically attractive, fun to be around, and that 'I make her happy' when we are together. Yet despite all those things, it wasn't the 'spark'. Confusing I know!

For me, the spark was there after the first 2-3 dates, you would have thought us having sex made it a sure thing. But no, she said 'something was still missing and she couldn't put her finger on it', and she didn't want to waste both our time.

Women are complicated creatures to say the least....
Joined: 7/1/2016
Msg: 396
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 1/3/2017 11:36:33 AM
I don't think I'm complicated.
But I get what you're saying.
Sometimes, things seem like a good idea at the time.
And then they don't.
I've found men I've enjoyed being around, doing things
together, and yes having sex, but the thought of it being
a FOREVA thing, just doesn't feel right.

I've found myself wishing things could go on as they were
without having to define it. Definitions bring out uncertainties,
uncertainties are uncomfortable, and best avoided.

I don't consider it as much as a "spark", for me it's more of
a complete peacefulness.
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