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 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 184
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I wantPage 6 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

Well, what do you exactly mean by "go nowhere"? A relationship? Sex? How can you tell where something is going to go from the very beginning if, by definition, you don't have total control over it?

I have control over enough of it to know what the outcome will be. Yes relationship/sex/anything further than that meet itself. And I mean it in the viewpoint of the person I'm meeting, not me - because I don't ever expect more than the actual meet.

But, answering your question. Most certainly. I do it everytime I go out with my friends.

Those are people you know, and have established relationships with. I'd rather go meet up with friends, I already know I like hanging out with them.

I do it everytime I catch up with my best (male) friend.

More established relationships.

I do it everytime I go out with some female friend who's got a boyfriend.

Ok, what the boyfriend has to do with it I don't know - but again, established relationship.

Why is it so hard to understand that I can do the same when I go out with a new person?

Um...unlike all your other examples that's an un-established relationship for starters. If the other person is interested in it being romantic and has their hopes up and you're pretty sure that won't happen, because nothing about them appeals to you in the same way based on what you already know, why go there?

If they could care less if you ever see them again or are looking for new friends, OK I guess but wouldn't you rather do something you know for certain you already like - like watch a good movie or eat a good burger (although you could invite them to join you for that burger if they were up for it- so not a total loss)?

Unless you meet every woman who's ever shown interest in you in which case you'd likely be too busy entertaining the masses to be here posting in the forums.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 185
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 11/15/2014 6:40:57 AM

Right, so...the other person not only has to feel the same way as you or find you as physically attractive as you find him, but he also has to have the exact same expectations as you??

I think I get it now, you just want to date yourself.

Sometimes, yes I do want to date myself. Seriously though, no the other person doesn't have to like me at all - that would be preferable to it being the other way around. I'm talking about them expecting it to be anything but that meet in itself. It's hard to find anyone who does that. Him not finding me attractive means I get to skip it and continue with being single - which I kind of prefer (that's for another thread).

I can understand that someone wouldn't date anyone if they take absolutely no pleasure in meeting or spending time with new people. Online dating is meant to be fun, if it's not fun to you in any possible way, it's understandable that you don't find online dating interesting.

In my travels? Yes. Leaving the house to do just this? Not so much - but as a DJ meeting new people is pretty much just a part of my week, so I'm going to meet new people anyway without carving out an hour or two separately and having to change and leave the house again.

Well, I'm not going to have a romantic or sexual relationship with my female friend, am I? Then why the heck do I hang out with her? There is no point! (I'm being ironic...)

That wasn't my point, but if that's your viewpoint on it that's fine. My point was what someone else expects of me during a meet. If anything I believe more people should interact free of the agenda of it having to become something - especially something romantic. It's just real narrow minded. My friends are always meeting some guy hoping he likes them - my meets are more the opposite - I get off real easy if he doesn't like me. I'm better with that than him liking me and me having to say "well, it was nice meeting you" - and I'm no prize so this has nothing to do with who I think I am so much as who they hope I am (for them). It could be anyone else showing up for that meet and they are in the same frame of mind.

The guys I meet tend to start out as conversations here or on other sites that aren't romantically charged - so I usually meet them because I find them interesting in some way. If they are attractive to me that's always a bonus, of course but I never expect it to "go anywhere". Sometimes they do, that's all.

If nothing at all appeals to me then I won't go out with them.

OK, now we're getting somewhere.

But you know, sometimes she looks mildly interesting, or we have some common interests, or she is nice, or she is moderately attractive.

That's a bit different.

There has to be some initial interest, for sure.

Naturally.

For me the initial threshold of interest or appeal is fairly low though. I get the feeling for many people that threshold is at the same height as the Sun.

I agree it is for a lot of people. It's low for me too but there has to be something that I find interesting and want to know more about. I am a realist though and know the in person meet is usually way different than the online correspondence, and not always in a good way. My ex turned out to be a pleasant surprise but that's rare.

No, I would rather meet someone new that to eat a friggin double cheese burger or watch The Notebook.

Ew, please don't tell me you've really ever watched The Notebook. You want to lose your man card? I'm a girl and I won't watch it - sap city. A good horror movie is way better. Some men might find a burger more satisfying than another first date/meet - to some degree I don't blame them.

Whenever a girl asks me out, I almost always say yes...but when I ask them out, many say no. I guess they must be eating some amazing burger or watching the latest film on cinemas...

If you don't shoot real high in your pursuits I guess you're living in a less than prosperous area for dating (no, I didn't look at the profile, I'm lazy) or perhaps they have found good food/a movie that they can't give up even for that certain guy (which is so very Walt Disney).
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 186
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 11/16/2014 9:03:09 PM
dgcadiz
You are wrong about chemistry being the hallmark of the immature. It is a necessary thing for most of us to start a relationship. Some guys who just want to be with anyone that will have them, will poo hoo the whole notion of course.
If you have never felt it for a woman or she for you, then I can understand your lack of understanding.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 187
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 11/17/2014 8:22:21 AM
funny thing, at least on the TV around here, one of the big dating sites is advertising that love doesn't come first, but like. Maybe they're trying to win back the people who didn't find instant chemestry. If I was partnered up and meeting a bunch of new people, I wouldn't be thrilled if they had an agenda--heck, if I think they're trying to sell something (not just sex), I'm not thrilled. I don't want to be a target, I want to be a human.

On the flip side, if I have a dynamite service or product to sell...I wanna share it. Everyone comes to the table wanting something. It helps if you can find the right table.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 188
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 11/18/2014 8:54:02 AM
for a company to spend money hiring an advertising company, then to pay for TV ad time...yeah, they expect to get money back in return--more than what they spent. That means they expect to reach a lot of customers with their message--so their message better be something that appeals to a lot of people.

working backward from all this, I'd guess....they've noticed a lot of "not hot" people dropping off their site, which means less "eyeballs" and less they can charge for advertising on the site but more they have to spend on advertising to get people onto their site, perhaps due to few people on the site finding instant spark.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 189
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 11/18/2014 2:30:26 PM

I get off real easy if he doesn't like me. I'm better with that than him liking me and me having to say "well, it was nice meeting you"
I can soooo relate to this! It's probably the biggest thing about dating that I don't like.

What blows my mind about the chemistry thing is that they can feel something while you don't. To me it feels like they project some weird ideal onto me, and don't actually even SEE me. It's such a turn off. And then they act confused about why I'm not into it (because they are), and I have to explain myself. Sometimes incessantly. Oh goodness, what fun.

It seems strange to me that someone would begrudge another wanting to feel something reciprocal?

How odd.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 190
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 11/19/2014 9:40:03 AM
"To me it feels like they project some weird ideal onto me, and don't actually even SEE me."

>>>I had that happen at the apartment complex I used to live in...by a guy upstairs. He knocked on my door one night and introduced himself and had to tell me how he had looked inside my Mustang GT and seen the books in the backseat and had concocted this story about how I had been the BMOC in school and on and on and.... now, gee, wasn't it funny, that I probably wasn't that person at all?

He invited my upstairs to his place, I said no, and every time we crossed paths he'd try again until he got the hint it wasn't going to happen. I mentioned the whole mess to friends of mine, and the females would say, "wow, that's funny, I do that with crushes all the time, invent backstories/histories/images like that."

I don't think its a guy or a gal thang. I suspect its a desire for individuals to meet a partner who will give them something they lack in their life. whether its a date or a friend (or whatever the guy upstairs wanted--I forever nicknamed him Mr. Ticklepalm, b/c the first time I shook hands w/ him either I pulled away too fast or he intentionally tickled my palm with his fingertips and I sure wasn't going to bother knowing what his real name was. but it was an easy guess his life wasn't all that, um, great). These individuals see a person, and create some backstory or some image, b/c they want a certain TYPE of person to want to be in their lives. They want to attract that certain type.

the "good feelings" they feel about themselves by attracting that certain type (b/c it means they CAN attract that certain type), the stronger the good feeling/thrill they feel, its like an energy that can propel them or a drug that makes them do all sorts of odd things, but outside of their head...it has no power at all upon others. I've listened to people tell me, "if only I can show this person how much I love them" or "how serious I am, that I'm not fooling around, I'm not just trying to get laid" or some other version, they could get the person to like them.

Like the topic elsewhere on communication, this is an interaction between two humans. Success can rely on the two being on the same page. If one has had a bf for a long time, she isn't interested in guys hitting on her. But if she's insecure, she may love the show of interest, regardless of her dating status. If she's single and the right guy is flirting with her, its great. If its not the right guy, even tho its the same exact activity...that activity is "creepy".
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 191
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 11/19/2014 6:22:18 PM

You do that every time you fall in love. It's the way it is.
Usually such things are mutual, and after some time. Not one or two dates, lol.

I don't fall in love easily, I go down swinging with all my might. So I guess I don't understand how some others so easily project fantasies when the packaging is to their liking. I don't respect it or trust it, not in the slightest.

IMO first impressions have nothing to do with who the other person is, but with my own beliefs and...state of mind, so to speak.
I do agree. But when dating, there comes a point where you just know. I personally have come to trust that feeling.

I don't think its a guy or a gal thang.
Oh I totally agree, and I'm sure I've been guilty of it to some degree in the past. Funny how that works, lol.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 192
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History
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 11/19/2014 8:31:40 PM

I don't fall in love easily, I go down swinging with all my might. So I guess I don't understand how some others so easily project fantasies when the packaging is to their liking. I don't respect it or trust it, not in the slightest.


Apart from the "go down swinging" part, GREAT imagery btw, lol, I'm with you on that one...
Those words lose ALL meaning for me when uttered too soon...

If someone loves me AFTER they've SEEN who I am, then they become meaningful....
Infatuation is a tricky b!tch....it can last for a LONG time for some people and the desired "projection"can stay in place despite ALL evidence to the contrary...

For me that's pretty obvious, when I see it...and I tend to avoid it like the PLAGUE...LOL

I want and want to BE with a REAL person, not a fantasy on any level...

Well, erm,maybe on one level....*wink*
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 193
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 11/19/2014 9:46:18 PM
I'm pretty sure that "no spark/chemistry" is woman code for "I know what I want - and you aren't it".
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 194
view profile
History
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 11/19/2014 9:50:45 PM
^^^shakti

I dated about 50 guys in college. Fell madly in love with 40 of them. Slept with only 'one', my future husband.. I know myself...love hormones firing on all cylinders. I just loved the fairy tale high of meeting my fantasy guy. Rainbows and singing to myself when I got home. Telling my sisters every detail about some our date. However, from an early age I recognized that I was the poster child for instant chemistry.... me over guys and them with me.

Ha! Every time one of my daughters got that cloud nine look over a boy, I'd give them the lecture.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 195
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 11/20/2014 4:33:09 AM

I don't fall in love easily, I go down swinging with all my might. So I guess I don't understand how some others so easily project fantasies when the packaging is to their liking. I don't respect it or trust it, not in the slightest.

Good visual. I go down swinging too...I have always taken 6 months to a year to get to that point - and then I have to go over it to see if it's something I should be doing. Until I am sure it's what is actually happening, and sure I want the other person to know I'll nod a lot when someone says it to me.

I'm pretty sure that "no spark/chemistry" is woman code for "I know what I want - and you aren't it"

As simple as this is - it's the truth. You may not even know what you want, but you usually know what you don't want when you see it.

What about what others call "love at first sight"? And why falling in love has to be mutual? The feeling of falling in love doesn't require the other person to feel the same way at all.

IMO "love at first sight" is lust, infatuation, a crush - in situations where it becomes a long time serious relationship you can look back and say it was love after the fact, but truth is it was a crush that just so happened to turn into something more. Many of them just end up ending after a couple dates.
 the_summerwind
Joined: 9/11/2014
Msg: 196
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 11/23/2014 8:13:31 AM

IMO "love at first sight" is lust, infatuation, a crush - in situations where it becomes a long time serious relationship you can look back and say it was love after the fact, but truth is it was a crush that just so happened to turn into something more.


Yes, a good way to put it.... if the honeymoon will last the short term,[ aka romance] or last longer...

Ive been in both situations and truth be told, what made the trip more lasting was the balance we both enjoyed & shared, even when alone & naturally when together......beyond just having hormones for each other.

Cuz a got to come up for air once in a while.^^^^
 NerdsXes
Joined: 7/5/2014
Msg: 197
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No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 6/18/2015 6:30:43 PM
Interesting discussion.

Here is my two cents about the whole chemistry issue.
When it comes to online dating. A guy is more likely to run into the chemistry issues.
The reason being. Most dates aren't long enough or in a natural setting for true chemistry to form.

Think about dating before the internet.

Guy meets girl and finds her attractive.
In the past. "Several interactions" took place to build chemistry naturally between a man and a women.

My parents met back in the 70's. My dad talked to my mom on several occasions before they became officially a couple.
Sure, they found each other to be attractive at the beginning. But it took time for romantic chemistry to build.

This is the main issue with online dating. Dating sites know this as well.
This is why you find the same people on the site for years.

I think online dating causes two problems that are hidden.

1. People are looking for "instant" spark. You know, like you read on romance novels.
2. If you don't find that instant spark. You have several other options to choose from.
Especially women. Most women online have 100's of options.

So the expectations become even more selective.

This has been proven.
If you give a person more options. They are less likely to make a decision at all.

So when a woman you met "online" says "no chemistry" after spending a couple of hours with you.
It's really because most likely. She hasn't spent enough time with you for chemistry to be built.
The bad news. Since she has 100's of other options. You are out of the picture.

True romantic chemistry cannot be built over night. It rarely works that way.
But a lot of woman online will not put the time into seeing if a spark can be built.
Because they have tons of other options.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 198
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No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 6/18/2015 10:05:02 PM
shakti
Why do you feel the need to explain yourself incessantly???. It puts you on the back foot. If you are not feeling it and they are, so be it. End of story.....dont get into any discussions about it. Not going to help. Not something that can be predicted or controlled. It is what it is. Dating can be awkward and stressful and you need to grow a tough hide to deal with the rejections and the rejecting....

The spark or chemistry is not a guarantee that the relationship will endure but it is a start. Over time the sexual chemistry diminishes for most of us and the real person is seen and with any luck there is a friendship and real love when the "in love" or "lust" phase disappears and the projecting that we do on others is based in some sort of reality.

btw, on the title of the thread....
No spark or chemistry means that the woman does not want YOU, not that she does not know what she wants....
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 199
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 6/19/2015 5:54:59 AM

True romantic chemistry cannot be built over night. It rarely works that way.
But a lot of woman online will not put the time into seeing if a spark can be built.
Because they have tons of other options.

I disagree. Chemistry, the spark, butterflies, attraction are all the same thing - a lot of women IMO use the word chemistry to mean "digging your vibe in person". Men can tend to use the word literally to mean "how well do we get along". Usually the main thing you determine on a first meet is attraction, and lack of it is determined pretty quickly. Do I want to look at this person and be around them physically? Do I ever want to see them naked? During most meets some conversation has already happened where you determine common interests and whether or not you click when it comes to relating to one another when interacting.

The only literal chemistry that might be taking place is pheromone reaction.

If a woman wasn't feeling chemistry in person but was OK with talking previous to it - the attraction wasn't there. The meet is the first frontier in offline dating and just about the last frontier with online dating.

The spark or chemistry is not a guarantee that the relationship will endure but it is a start. Over time the sexual chemistry diminishes for most of us and the real person is seen and with any luck there is a friendship and real love when the "in love" or "lust" phase disappears and the projecting that we do on others is based in some sort of reality.

Yes! Well said.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 200
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 6/19/2015 6:32:12 AM
For some people, chemistry can equal physical attraction. But I can find a woman to be extremely attractive and not have ( instant ) chemistry. Some women have said the same thing about going out on a date with a man that was handsome, polite, intelligent etc. But they didn't feel the spark or chemistry or butterflies.

The difference is I might go out on a few more dates to see if the chemistry can develop over time. Provided that there was some physical attraction and no obvious dealbreakers. Many times I don't feel instant chemistry on a first date / meeting because we were virtual strangers or at least one person was a little bit nervous or shy at first. While a lot of other people in the same situation would lose interest when there isn't instant chemistry.
 NerdsXes
Joined: 7/5/2014
Msg: 201
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No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 6/19/2015 7:34:06 AM
womaninprogress,

If you don't think having tons of options makes a person most likely not to pick anything.
This we will have to agree to disagree.

That butterfly in your stomach you are referring to is in the movies / romance novels.

Men - We tend to look at a woman physically and make decisions pretty quickly.
Women - Don't go by physical looks as much as guys do. Attraction has to be "built" with a woman.

This means even though a guy might be cute. There personality has to win her over.
When it comes to "online" dating.

The average woman has many more opportunities compared to guys.

So if you go on a date with one guy.
This woman already knows how many other guys are in the pipeline.
Therefore, in order to STAND OUT. A guy better be close to perfect on a date.

I won't argue this anymore. But I stand on my opinion.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 202
view profile
History
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 6/19/2015 10:49:20 AM
Well from all I've read and seen on the threads around here over the last while that I've been here, it appears that I need to find me a man who can just TELL me what I'm feeling and who won't require me to have to use my feeble female brain to actually KNOW when and how I'm attracted to a man....

I mean, seriously????

Everybody whether male or female is different...I, personally make my decisions pretty quickly, too, based on whether or not I'm physically attracted to a man, I mean, who doesn't?

If something else about him catches my attention, ie. sense of humour, intelligence, etc. before I physically meet him, then perhaps a lukewarm physical attraction can be 'built upon' and turn into something else...but there is no exact science to it last I checked...
We are all individuals and have our own ways of approaching dating and relationships....whether male or female, imo

I always try to keep in mind, that once I think I have it 'all figured out', I am no longer open to learning and have left NO room for the element of surprise that the Universe is SO very fond of visiting upon us from time to time...;-)
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 203
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 6/19/2015 3:23:07 PM

womaninprogress,

If you don't think having tons of options makes a person most likely not to pick anything.
This we will have to agree to disagree.

A person who doesn't pick anything can totally be a person who doesn't have options they are interested in. If I want to play tennis and a mountain of footballs appear for me to choose from it won't get me any closer to playing tennis.

That butterfly in your stomach you are referring to is in the movies / romance novels.

I am one of the most anti-romantic people you will ever meet. I don't read romance crap and I don't watch the movies either. I think the words "soul mate" are pure fantasy. Yet I have had physical attraction more than once - in fact I won't keep dating someone if it isn't there.

Men - We tend to look at a woman physically and make decisions pretty quickly.

Men don't corner the market on physical attraction. Many women are all about looks, many men are not.

Women - Don't go by physical looks as much as guys do. Attraction has to be "built" with a woman.

You don't speak for all women, nor are you one. You have no idea what they all do.

This means even though a guy might be cute. There personality has to win her over.
When it comes to "online" dating.

For some, and it has nothing to do with online or offline.

The average woman has many more opportunities compared to guys.

And those guys are the ones who give them to her. What's your point?

So if you go on a date with one guy.
This woman already knows how many other guys are in the pipeline.
Therefore, in order to STAND OUT. A guy better be close to perfect on a date.

Some of us don't care how many are in the pipeline if none of them are what we want. We'd rather be single until we see one that is what we want. Period. Even if we are single for life. Dismissing a guy for lack of attraction has nothing to do with how many other men are around - unless you're talking about a teenager who doesn't get it yet.

I won't argue this anymore. But I stand on my opinion.

I'm sure you won't - this is your opinion which you are entitled to. It's not factual nor is it absolute, so we'll agree to disagree.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 204
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 6/20/2015 1:06:40 PM
How can sooooooooooo many people who are not "religous" be so UNSHARP as to think that ALL humans can just runaround willy nilly having sex with anyone we choose? Unless you are part of the "Evolution is just a theory" crowd.

Humans ARE animals and survival of the fittest applies to us also. Some humans will find the best GENETIC partners because of Chemicals we exchange and our brains UNconsciously deciphher them. PHEROMONES - Chemicals - and where the word Chemistry comes from. It guarantees that at least SOME humans will have sex with the best Genetic partners to produce offspring with the best GENETIC makeup to survive to adulthood.

The only people who will want/expect/demand it are people who have EXPERIENCED it.

It's not necessary to start a Relationship and it won' t build in time. And it never goes away once it imprints on our brains. I would speculate that even if BOTH parties start popping handfuls of pills (like "most" Americans these days) that "high" when in each others presence will still remain.

The "high" from Chemistry is N O T the same high from being in Love.

Love at First Site? No, although good looks certainly don't hurt. It's far more likely Chemistry at first whiff.

I would bet my last dollar, that most of the folks today who have been clubbed over the head with it are NOT popping various "medications" on a regular basis.
 Johng9322
Joined: 12/23/2009
Msg: 205
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/11/2015 5:48:12 AM
this is exactly what confuses me with women , if they cant get spark from an attractive, charming , interesting guy well ...what else is there?
 midnite_icecream
Joined: 12/27/2014
Msg: 206
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/11/2015 6:21:17 AM
Maybe you remind her of her brother or you comb your hair the wrong way. It only matters that shes not attracted to your God given self, so to speak. The question is why you bother. There's a sneaking sense of desperation.
Save your energy for someone worth your time.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 207
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/11/2015 6:43:00 AM

Some of us don't care how many are in the pipeline if none of them are what we want. We'd rather be single until we see one that is what we want. Period. Even if we are single for life. Dismissing a guy for lack of attraction has nothing to do with how many other men are around - unless you're talking about a teenager who doesn't get it yet.


Well, you're looking at that from your perspective, not the guy's. The challenge we have is if I go on a date with a girl tonight, but she has 3 other guys that she's talking to or has dates planned with, I have to be the best out of the 4 of us or else I need to look for a new girl. If I'm the worst of the 4 of us, why would she pick me?

So when he said that the average woman has more opportunities than guys, this is where that was coming from. YOU are the one who makes the final decision of who gets to date you. You choose from what's offered, which we all know from watching dating sites, that you're getting a lot more guys trying to talk to you than we are responses. Or when you go to the bar and you see guys keep walking up to the blonde girl barely wearing anything.

He's right. We have to build a deeper attraction than making you want to get in bed with us. Sex is great, we all love it, but sex doesn't necessarily satisfy your intellectual, emotional, and companionship needs. The problem with options is that women are no different than men. You're initially thinking sex, not eventually getting married and starting a family. So when you realize that "tall dark and handsome" is a complete bore outside of the bedroom, then you move on to "taller darker and handsom-er". And it's an endless cycle, because there will ALWAYS be someone better. Options are a woman's worst enemy on these sites and in places like bars and clubs...You're never going to find the best, you're always going to see something better. And thanks to always having something better come along, it's going to be harder to find the guy that's what you want, because while this guy is everything, the next guy is more ambitious and has better goals.

As a result, the more options you have, the less likely you are to actually pick something.
 ablankcanvas
Joined: 7/29/2015
Msg: 208
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/11/2015 7:28:45 AM
Christianity, chemistry, and compatibility, are my top three relationship requirement regardless of the number of suitors. I also do not date men with dependent children. My personal requirements eliminate over half of all single men in my age group. The more options I have does not equate to being less likely to pick someone to date.

I know what I want, and a mutual attraction has to be there regardless of numbers. Personally I don't try to get to know more than one person at a time. Options are not my enemy although they may be for others.

Don't go throwing everyone into the same pool.
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