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 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 259
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I wantPage 9 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
lmfao. Bluntly? Okay, sure....."You don't know how to perform oral in a satisfactory manner."
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 260
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/19/2015 9:42:52 AM
^^^ agreed. I too have wondered if he is just looking for an excuse to snap like a cracker.
Why on earth would I respond to a message with
" no, I'd rather have the elephant mans baby than look at your horrid self during a 13 minute coffee meet. "
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 261
view profile
History
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/19/2015 9:46:25 AM
Stop harassing the innocent women of POF. Go find another victim!

Thank you very much and have a nice day!


You don't know how to perform oral in a satisfactory manner."


RT? Well he does like to eat food, so maybe other things as well.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 262
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/19/2015 10:56:13 AM

The fact of the matter is, rockin-trucker WANTS women to say something that will seemingly justify the rejected guy snapping like a lunatic.


TA DA! Well spoken Mr Pig.
The mind set here is.......wait for it.......SHE MADE me do it! ...SHE DROVE me over the edge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes I have nooooo idea WTH? the logic or sense is, with the point(?) some people here are TRYING to make.
My mind goes, "What IS your point? What IS the bottom line? IS there a point?

I don't need an f'n "code word". I knew before what I want, and I know now what I want. LOL I want to keep what I have!

Maybe I'm weird. I don't use the terms "spark or chemistry". Actually I never stopped to think of a "word" to describe my gut reaction to meeting a man face to face, for the first time.
My attraction, was and is for far greater than OUTWARD appearance, alone.

IF he made me comfortable, IF my internal alarm system remained silent, and IF I could imagine my family meeting him for the first time, AND they would like him..................FULL speed ahead!
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 263
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/19/2015 11:02:14 AM
That hasn't always been true in my experience. Some women don't like kissing on the first date.
--------------
That is not my problem. That is her problem.

--------------
One time I tried to kiss a woman on a first date and she pulled back. At first I thought she wasn't interested. Then she explained that she likes to take things slow and doesn't kiss on the first date. She contacted me after the date and we went on another date.
-------------
If she doesn't kiss on a first date, she's more inhibited than girls were 30 years ago in high school. I'd hate to see what she'd be like in bed.
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 264
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/19/2015 11:19:19 AM


That hasn't always been true in my experience. Some women don't like kissing on the first date. One time I tried to kiss a woman on a first date and she pulled back. At first I thought she wasn't interested. Then she explained that she likes to take things slow and doesn't kiss on the first date. She contacted me after the date and we went on another date.


Oh, boy. I know this is going to open the floodgates for "a woman shouldn't do what she doesn't want to do!!" responses, but this is silly. If a GROWN woman goes out with a guy and is physically attracted to him, what's the hold up? Is it to prove she's "old fashioned" or "not a slut"? (because gee, nothing says "Hey, look at me! I'm so promiscuous!" like a kiss does, right?)

So, did she kiss on the second date?? If she did, I'd like to know what big difference it made to wait one more date.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 8/14/2015
Msg: 265
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/19/2015 11:24:48 AM
I can't imagine having a prolonged conversation with someone I just
wasn't interested in.
I tell him why I'm not interested...he gives me reasons why I'm wrong.
I don't want to kiss him...he thinks I'm old fashioned.
I say "seriously, you creep me out" and he tells me he'll grow on me.
I tell him I don't want him touching me...he tells me I'll get used to it.

Most people will show you they are interested.
They also show you they aren't....learn to know the difference.

Gads.
You sound like a wicked creepy, intense dude with no social skills
and a total lack of ability to recognize social cues.
But what do I know...I'm not interested.
hahahahahaha!
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 266
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/19/2015 11:47:40 AM

See, most of the time they're lying to you, but you do have to accept it. The real reason was WHY there was no spark.


I’ve got a secret for you…..women who are NOT INTERESTED in you, are NOT going to bother with any deep soul searching to provide you with the “real reason” there was no spark with you. What difference does it make?

And what is the alternative to “accepting it?”
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 267
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/19/2015 7:13:57 PM

So did she kiss on the second date?? If she did, I'd like to know what big difference it made to wait one more date.


Yes. She initiated the kiss. Maybe she wanted to get to know me a little better. Or she wasn't feeling enough "instant chemistry" on the first date. But she decided to give it another shot and the chemistry ( on her end ) improved. Either way, this wasn't a big deal to me. Whether she kissed on the first or second date.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 268
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/19/2015 11:58:01 PM

someone should say, "sorry, I don't like you" and you'll not ask why?
They might say "you're not attractive enough" and you'll not be offended?
They could say "I can't see myself having sex with you ever" and you'll not try to convince
them otherwise?


Yeah, no shit they'd be offended.

"I'm just not attracted to you." There, this entire fucking issue solved in one fucking 6 word sentence. Honest, while not blaming the other person, not using some random BS line and owning up to the real reason you don't want to date them. What is so hard about this? This is basic communication.

And Pig, you fucking dipshit, this is what I'm talking about when I'm saying be honest, while not attacking the other person. But like I said in the last post, using this example, there's a HUGE difference between "I'm not attracted to you" and "You're not attractive enough." Understanding that difference is a very important skill in social life.
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 269
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/20/2015 12:31:47 AM
But like I said in the last post, using this example, there's a HUGE difference between "I'm not attracted to you" and "You're not attractive enough."
---------------
Exactly what is the difference? If you were attractive enough, she'd be attracted to you. Are you stoned or just stupid?


------------
Understanding that difference is a very important skill in social life.
-----------
No, but a real very important social skill is to know when to leave it alone instead of being dense and arguing about semantics.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 270
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History
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/20/2015 1:50:31 AM

I’ve got a secret for you…..women who are NOT INTERESTED in you, are NOT going to bother with any deep soul searching to provide you with the “real reason” there was no spark with you.

It's not a secret. He knows that. That part is clear (Not Interested). It's the reason why -- where The reason of "no spark" being a true answer is kinda rare. "I find him physically attractive, he has good demeanor, he's my 'type' in general, he's generally a match on paper... gee, can't put my finger on it." That's "no spark" as The Reason. A LOT better to the ego than "Your nose is too big" or "Your voice is too loud" or "Your d!ck is too big". Okay, the last one is the better. ;)

Not being attracted to him physically and/or of his persona is the Reason there was no spark almost every time. He wants to know the Real Reason.

What difference does it make?

Because as you say, they're not providing the real reason. Usually doesn't require deep soul searching -- unless it truly is just "no spark" (which 90+% of the time it's not).

If you want to say people aren't lying and "no spark" = "not interested", then that gets one like Trucker who wants answers, nowhere:

BOY: "Why aren't you interested in me?" GIRL: "Because I'm not interested in you."

And what is the alternative to “accepting it?”

Not accepting it. Stewing over it. Complaining about it on forums like Trucker is. But I like Trucker at least questioning & inquiring about it. Stupid/Silly or not, he's showing the ballz that others don't have when they give a BS response to the question "Why not?" when asked IRL.

"I'm just not attracted to you." There, this entire ****ing issue solved in one ****ing 6 word sentence. .... What is so hard about this? This is basic communication.

It's hard because people don't like confrontation. Most people get pissed & hurt. You're not the only one living on planet earth. You're not special, not famous. A date isn't going to know you well enough to predict how you'll act. People are not going to base their choices on inside info on you, but on society and % chances of negative feedback. And they're going to Very Much err on the side of caution, Especially when it's confrontational. So they're going to LIE to you. Yep. LIE. We can learn a lot from the "why" -- to improve ourselves, make adjustments for the better, etc -- I'd like that too -- but you can't rely on their answers being totally accurate. We're not raised to tell the truth about confrontation if one's feelings are going to be hurt and they're generally a decent person. Nice people especially. Asking that to change will get ya nowhere. You can chuckle at it. But for most people, they'll run into bad confrontations here and there, and just want to avoid it. Just the way things roll, man.

there's a HUGE difference between "I'm not attracted to you" and "You're not attractive enough." Understanding that difference is a very important skill in social life.

No, it's not Huge. If it's Huge to you, then you're too sensitive to be told the truth, man.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 271
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/20/2015 7:15:56 AM

That's obvious, but I think the controversy is that it's usually lying for the sake of politeness. If it was JUST no spark/chemistry -- that means they find you physically Attractive.

How do you figure there is any attraction whatsoever if someone says this? For the most part I always saw that as "I don't ever want to see you naked."

So someone should say, "sorry, I don't like you" and you'll not ask why?
They might say "you're not attractive enough" and you'll not be offended?
They could say "I can't see myself having sex with you ever" and you'll not try to convince
them otherwise?

People say that because they have NO INTEREST in you and also aren't interested
in a prolonged conversation as to the why nots.

Exactly. Why try to corner someone and make them explain details about why they never want to see you again or don't have interest? Do you think that will make them like you more? Do you think it will give you some information to take to the next experience? I think the details are of no consequence, and no one is under obligation to explain. It means they don't want to pursue further interaction.

there's a HUGE difference between "I'm not attracted to you" and "You're not attractive enough."

Not really. Both are conveying there isn't enough attraction to bother. Who cares how it's worded?

Seems to me that people who want to question lack of interest just want to prolong the suffering. And make sure the other person suffers too. How immature. Learn to gracefully accept that most of the time it's not a match and move on. Ironically that makes you a more attractive person. Imagine that.
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 272
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/20/2015 8:03:04 AM



And Pig, you ****ing dipshit, this is what I'm talking about when I'm saying be honest, while not attacking the other person. But like I said in the last post, using this example, there's a HUGE difference between "I'm not attracted to you" and "You're not attractive enough."


Trucker, you ignorant, thick headed twat who does not belong in the dating world now or ever - there is no difference other than the wording. You are still being rejected based on appearance. You're telling me if you were told "I'm not attracted to you" by ten women consecutively, it would sting less than "you're not attractive enough?"

Get out of here with that horseshit.


Understanding that difference is a very important skill in social life.


I have doubts as to whether you even have a social life beyond spewing your contrarian garbage all over the forums.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 273
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/20/2015 8:09:36 AM


there's a HUGE difference between "I'm not attracted to you" and "You're not attractive enough."


No, there is NO difference.


I think he's being rejected because of manipulations. Wacky logic. Women read or hear his spiel and run.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 274
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/20/2015 8:41:48 AM

But I like Trucker at least questioning & inquiring about it. Stupid/Silly or not, he's showing the ballz that others don't have when they give a BS response to the question "Why not?" when asked IRL.


So it's having ballz to confront someone for the actual reason for being rejected? Sounds more like an anger problem along with self esteem issues.

Highly unlikely he does this in real life. Would more than likely be the receipient of a restraining order if he did. This is just another manifesation of his frustrations in dating.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 275
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/20/2015 8:47:45 AM

there's a HUGE difference between "I'm not attracted to you" and "You're not attractive enough."


No, there is NO difference.


Welllll............. it's NOT HUGE, but in fact there IS a difference,between the 2 lines. It IS 19 letters versus 24 letters.

"And the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round.................
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 276
view profile
History
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/20/2015 9:39:06 AM

Trucker, you ignorant, thick headed twat who does not belong in the dating world now or ever - there is no difference other than the wording. You are still being rejected based on appearance.


Actually, I will disagree here. We don't know the reason she(they) isn't attracted to him. It could be she liked his looks, which is why she met with him, but didn't feel that spark to get closer to him. Thousands of reasons!

But that assumes he is getting meetings, doesn't it? I don't see why someone getting many meetings will stalk gals, previously written to, to get answers.

It also wouldn't hurt if he changed his profile, go to a profile review. I am curious NO members suggested that to him lately.




I have doubts as to whether you even have a social life beyond spewing your contrarian garbage all over the forums.


Well that is mean! NJ is known as the garbage state! I saw a license plate the other day that says such!(true story :()


Ladyinred- I think in his case it is the" wheels of the truck that goes round and round"...when he remembers to fill it up, of course.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 8/14/2015
Msg: 277
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/20/2015 10:06:23 AM

"I'm just not attracted to you." There, this entire ****ing issue solved in one ****ing 6 word sentence. Honest, while not blaming the other person, not using some random BS line and owning up to the real reason you don't want to date them. What is so hard about this? This is basic communication.


Okei, you'd rather they say I'm not attracted to you rather than no spark/chemistry...so you don't really want the truth.
I don't think you can tell people what they should say. To some, I don't feel a spark/chemistry IS saying I'm not attracted to you.

Either you want the truth or you want some sort of half lie...but you don't get to choose...unfortunately.

Not sure why you're obsessing over this.
If women are constantly telling you no attraction, no chemistry, no spark, maybe you're contacting the wrong women or
you need to change something about yourself.

You know what they say about common denominator.
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 278
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/20/2015 12:25:31 PM


Well that is mean! NJ is known as the garbage state! I saw a license plate the other day that says such!(true story :()


A guy and girl were making out in his car one night. The girl was getting all hot and bothered. She suddenly blurted out "Oh, baby!! Kiss me where it smells!!"

So, he started the car, and drove them to Jersey.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 279
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/22/2015 7:52:13 PM

You are still being rejected based on appearance. You're telling me if you were told "I'm not attracted to you" by ten women consecutively, it would sting less than "you're not attractive enough?


Either way it would suck equally. But like on the other post where nobody seems to grasp the difference... While they're both rejecting me on my appearance, one is rejecting me because she's not attracted to me, the other is rejecting me because I'm ugly. Which one do you think people would tend to react more negatively towards?

But that's the whole thing that's missing on these forums. When she put that hypothetical convo up, she put it up as being a complete **** about it. Do you tell girls that want to talk to you "No, you're fat."? Do you tell girls "You look too much like a man."? It's like assuming that the only possible responses are that you're busy 24/7 or we tell the other person why they're ugly. Somewhere in there is a gray area where you can actually use your words like a competent social being without being a terrible person while you do it.

But in the theme of these forums, you're free to use whatever response or lack of response you want. But own the response you get to how you respond. Don't put the blame on everyone else because you can't understand why you're an ***hole.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 280
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/22/2015 8:08:52 PM
^^^ You would make an excellent PUA candidate. Please see coma for instructions.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 281
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/22/2015 8:22:53 PM

Highly unlikely he does this in real life. Would more than likely be the receipient of a restraining order if he did. This is just another manifesation of his frustrations in dating.


Actually no. It's a frustration with people in general. You can only sit on the side and watch people do the same stupid things over and over for so long until you eventually just give in and question wtf they're thinking.

These forums are just a ton of examples of things happening that if you really step back, you gotta wonder how they didn't see it coming. We got into that whole thing about wording, it's no different than remembering punctuation to change the meaning of a sentence: "Would you help your uncle, Jack, off a horse?" and "Would you help your uncle jack off a horse?" The choice and order of words matters. It changes the context of a sentence completely. But, in their defense, a lot of the girls I see on these sites that end up in these situations are the ones that write sentences like "There going 2 give u tha food." I guess you can't really expect that to actually realize the things she's saying.

So it's everything. You want to use the same played out lines that every other girl seems to use? Fine. But when someone calls you out on it, don't be surprised. If you want to give a reason and you have it come out with the tact of Chris Farley as a ninja, someone is probably going to get mad at you at some point.

But you never see that, even from a lot of guys here. Women can say and do whatever they want and don't have to take any responsibility for what they say or do. I'll never deny that there's guys that just flip out on girls for no reason, but do you HONESTLY believe that it's such a high rate of it happening, completely unprovoked? There's really nothing that seems a little weird to you? Like, maybe it's happening so much because the women play a part in the reason somewhere?

There's no way that I'm the only one that reads these threads and the first thought is "Complete BS"
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 282
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/22/2015 8:35:04 PM

But in the theme of these forums, you're free to use whatever response or lack of response you want.


Thanks for giving everyone permission. No response is a response.



But own the response you get to how you respond.


Own this....you're an idiot.



Don't put the blame on everyone else because you can't understand why you're an ***hole.


Like the other poster told you.....stand in front of a mirror and repeat that to yourself until it sticks. Keep throwing it against the wall and sooner or later....well you know the rest.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 283
No spark/chemistry is women code word for I don't know what I want
Posted: 8/22/2015 8:36:14 PM

Own this....you're an idiot.


And you're old and can probably barely get it up anymore, what's your point?
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