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 AUTHOR
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 31
How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

Yes I know you're probably thinking, "Oh she's still young, she'll get over it in time" etc, and it seems silly to feel so attached to someone whom you've only known for less than a month, but that's how I feel right now! I'm still upset about all this and just can't get rid of this horrible feeling. I've completely lost my appetite and stay up at night, lying awake in bed, running thoughts over and over, thinking "What if???"! What can I do to take my mind off it??? I'm also afraid I might suddenly develop depression again, as I once went through the phase during my late teenage years (no, not just typical teenage hormones!) !!



You're literally this depressed over a dude, you hardly know....and that has made remarks to you such as stated here:


Haha thanks for your input. When I said that he'd made crude jokes in the past, I meant things like, asking if I had aids on our first date (jokingly), joking about other races and making crude comments about me in public, all of which I took light heartedly. So it almost seems like a case of hypocrisy really doesn't it? Sad to say, he's deleted me off his FB friends list, and he ignored my calls when I tried calling last night, and eventually stopped texting back so he might've deleted my contact details already :/




And yet, FREAKS OUT over you making a harmless remark about being bald down there as being prepubescent, and then rampages, deletes you from his life, ignores you....


OP, are you fu*king KIDDING ME?! Why on earth would you cry yourself to sleep over this guy? He sounds like a complete and utter joke.


If you're trying to fill the void of depression by attaching yourself to creeps, then you need to lay off the dating for awhile and work on YOURSELF first. This guy is a SUPER ass, and you want him back, laying awake at night, thinking about the "what ifs"??


You cant eat, cant think....over THAT?


I know you're young, but jesus CHRIST, YOU CAN DO A BIT BETTER THAN THAT.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 33
How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/6/2010 11:14:21 PM

Wow. Thanks, I needed that. That was a huge wake up call... I guess I was just so lost in my infatuation/admiration/whatever you call it in him that I didn't really notice the red flags... til now. So thanks. Good thing I found out earlier than later.




I dont know you...so for all I know, YOU could be a royal pain in the ass as well ya know, but no one deserves such a creep for a boyfriend/girlfriend.


I have an often off color, vulgar sense of humor...I KNOW that if im going to playfully jab at people, that I have to have thick skin and expect people to eventually jab RIGHT BACK.


With that being said, this guy makes off color remarks, clowns you, but then flies off the handle because a little comment you made POSSIBLY IMPLIED that he was a pedo? You didnt even MEAN to imply it, but he took it THAT hard, and then goes on his little tantrum? How old is this guy? Im assuming around the same age as you?



I'll tell you right now, even without other reasons for how much of a wuss this guy is, and how loopy he sounds....You need to seek out better, for YOURSELF. No one should aim for a D-bag like that.


That guy sounds like a loser.
 x_file
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 34
How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/7/2010 7:25:28 AM
OP, get a life!

You are a borderline drama queen.




Yes I know you're probably thinking, "Oh she's still young, she'll get over it in time" etc, and it seems silly to feel so attached to someone whom you've only known for less than a month, but that's how I feel right now!


Actually I was thinking, "Here is another confirmation of "Attraction is not a choice" ".




What can I do to take my mind off it???


What are you taking your mind off of.... the guy, the horrible feeling, the "What if" nuisance, the fact that you got dumped, or the fact that you sent a message you now regret?

If it's all of the above, try threesome with total strangers. I assure you your mind will be focused on something else completely.
 jakolmer
Joined: 4/7/2010
Msg: 35
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How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/7/2010 3:08:28 PM
If a lad is going to be so pathetic and immature to split up with you over a comment that may have upset him then you're well out of it. To me it sounds like (you might not like this) he was after a way out anyway and the comment may have been what he needed. things like this happen all the time. Its happened to me. You know what I do? I get over it straight away. Get back in the field. You're gonna let one person break your life? Forget that. Wake up, stand up, get over it. It's life. Teenager or not we've all been through bad experiances...
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 36
How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/7/2010 5:29:32 PM
*Laugh* That was the silliest reason to dump someone that I've ever heard of.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 37
How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/7/2010 5:31:36 PM
The funniest part of it, was the fact that the guy himself has made some colorful remarks, and joked around with her as well. And then has the balls, to get offended at something she says, and he then throws a huge tantrum over something he BELIEVED was said.



Amazing. I'd be more than happy to be done with someone like that.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 38
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How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/7/2010 6:15:52 PM

Maybe he waas going to break up with you and used that as an excuse?

my thought as well.

op, didn't read every reply, but i'm assuming you were having sex with him to be joking about pubic hair. if i'm that intimate with someone and i can't even joke with them about that, something is very wrong.

yet another cautionary tale about texting, though. when in doubt just call, fercrisakes - you already have the phone in your freakin hand.
 Fierysunlvr
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 39
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How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/7/2010 8:18:50 PM
I haven't read all of the responses here, so hopefully I'm not being repetitive.

My first thought after reading his response is that he probably is a pedofile or has pedofile tendencies. He is WAY WAY too defensive about what you said. You didn't say anything wrong, you just made a comment and if people are going to date each other they need to be able to say what comes to their mind and discuss things, esp when the subject of sex comes up. His reaction says that your comment about something being prebuscent hit a nerve with him and you should be concerned with why that subject hits a nerve with him.

This guy has SERIOUS issues and you should not waste any time feeling depressed over him. In fact, you should look in a Sex Offenders registry for your state and see if he's there.
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 40
How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/8/2010 2:11:19 AM
he is a moody person and was looking to pick a fight
he would have picked a fight about you wearing too much purfume. Better to let the loser walk now. he has some serious anger management issues and abuse issues and STOP BLAMING YOURSELF.
when these things happen
we can't rationalize it~and don't understand where all this hostility and anger is coming from?
AND
we want to fix it

THAT IS A BAD BAD ROAD

abuser relationship
let himlive in his fuchkedup head
and it is better to be alone then with a PsYcHo
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 43
How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/8/2010 2:53:23 PM
^^^to the poster above me

A person who enjoyed sex with children would like a clean shaven look, wouldn't he?
I would guess so. Which might be why he said this to her:
he said I should shave it all off
And might be why he dumped her immediately when she made her comment. So I don't understand why you (poster above me) said this???:
This guy was put off by a pre-pubescent look.
He WANTED that look!

OP, you get rid of the horrible feeling by going out and celebrating he showed what he was like (fast easy dumping type of guy) now rather than later.
 onetruesweetheart
Joined: 6/1/2010
Msg: 44
How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/8/2010 3:44:25 PM

This guy was put off by a pre-pubescent look.
No, he specifically asked her to alter her appearance to achieve that pre-pubescent look.


His response is normal, not abnormal. A person who enjoyed sex with children would like a clean shaven look, wouldn't he?
His response was normal for someone who was appalled to be called on his behavior.... Perhaps if you had taken the time to read and fully comprehend the crux of the OP's issue, you wouldn't have made such a fool of yourself with your response. As it stands, you somewhat confirmed her concern... You're saying that him asking her to shave indicates a fondness for having sex with children. That's kinda what creeped her out in the first place.

 ChocolateNutt
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 45
How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/8/2010 3:53:41 PM
Well I'm not a fan of texting. I don't think it kills anyone to actually SPEAK to another person, so I think if you are having actual conversations via type (or worse, the popular text shorthand) you get what you deserve in terms of miscommunications. Keep that for short, factual necessities only (e.g. supper at 7 e.g. see you there, want to go for a walk, etc) and use actual speaking for conversations and jokes.

If he'd get so upset by that comment in an actual conversation (especially when HE initiated it), then I think he is a cuckoo.

Either way, you're done. You've already explained and apologized for the miscommunication (hopefully you had the brains to do that via voice rather than compounding the problem with more texts). If he's not willing to accept that and move on, chasing him won't help. It will just make him feel stalked or give the impression you're desperate. If he returns because you're BEGGING for forgiveness, you've taught him that you are willing to be subjugated to his feelings and opinions. You will never be on equal footing again.


had aids on our first date (jokingly), joking about other races and making crude comments about me in public, all of which I took light heartedly


Are you kidding me? You think it's ok for someone to talk to you like that as his first impression? I think you need to set some higher standards for yourself!!!

Nutt
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 46
How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/8/2010 4:12:23 PM
That wasn't rude, unless he was an old man. Even then I wouldn't consider it rude, but maybe uncomfortable for some.

Me personally, I would laugh, not be offended. I don't think many guys would be offended by that.
 mysteriosa
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 47
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How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/8/2010 5:31:08 PM
The man is an nutter and you've had a narrow escape. You didn't tell him he was a paedophile, you just said it would look pre-pubescent, which is surely true. He has insulted you by saying you are immature and lacking in confidence. If someone lacks confidence, the kind and considerate thing to do is to encourage them to come out of their shell not knock them like this. If he'd been mature, he would have handled your comment tactfully and he would certainly not have told you you should shave it all off. Who is he to tell you how you should treat your private parts? Does he own your body? Honestly, the man is an idiot. Forget about him and think yourself lucky you didn't get more involved as he's definitely the type who would have tried to undermine your confidence. I suspect he gave up on you because you weren't letting him control you. You are better off out of this 'relationship'.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 48
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How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/8/2010 10:14:53 PM

I too have not wasted time in reading every reply here---just this page 3 shows how predictibly this would turn. Amateur psychology fans wading in with their diagnosis of one persons possible reaction to a fricking text message----can we sink any lower with runaway assumptions and forming a lynch mob based upon a one-side retelling of text message drama? C'mon people----are there no more original thoughts about anything other than a supposed potential for deviant or criminal behavior?


+1

Clearly the Opie hit a sore spot with this fellow when she made her comment, but none of us, including the Opie, know WHY it is a sore spot for him. To make the assumption that he is a pedophile; a controlling, abusive nut job, or a registered sex offender (really?! because he said she should shave it all off? bit of a stretch dontcha think?), from the little she told us is beyond asinine.



Opie, just try and keep yourself busy, and before you know it you won't even remember his name. Clearly you weren't compatible, and when you are at your lowest point, try to remember that. It's far better to discover that this early in the game. You'll bounce, no worries.

Good luck darlin'.
 OpalescentCloud
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 49
How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/8/2010 10:30:16 PM
Ummm, I wouldn't find what you said offensive, tho the whole conversation via text was probably stupid in the first place. You might even blame him for bringing it up.

In fact he was stupid to bring up something very personal in a text message.

He didn't dump you because of your answer, he used that as an EXCUSE to dump you. If it hadn't been that it would have been something else either later in the day or the next day or so on.

He's a jerk, you deserve better, move on. Oh, and leave stimulating conversations to when you meet in person.
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 50
How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/9/2010 12:45:34 AM
Dude is not worth your time, he's a hypocrite and can't take the slightest perceived offense but isn't afraid to fire them off at will. You're better off without him and you shouldn't feel bad at all.
 ~*Isabel Kitty*~
Joined: 7/6/2009
Msg: 52
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How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/9/2010 3:04:06 AM
Hell 3 weeks of dating a guy wouldn't KNOW what I looked like "down there". Shaved or not. Jeez if you had sex with this guy SLOW DOWN OP. The guy is a jerk, didn't take you long to find out. Sounds like he was just after getting laid.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 53
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How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/11/2010 9:44:07 AM
One female ,while dispensing her wisdom on the subject didn't even know how to spell the word pedophile .Hillarious!


Calling the Kettle black when you potsy is also black> talking about correct spelling you spell HILLARIOUS AND THE RIGHT SPELLING IS HILARIOUS... I stooped low and we are now on the same level I spelled phedophile and you spelled hillarious so we are even , but I hope the OP is not a bugger nose ( like you & me ) who check up spellings but read the contents on the insights of kind people who takes their time and gave their feedback with good intentions..
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 54
How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/30/2011 3:45:58 PM
What did you say that was so offensive? A text can be taken the wrong way when it's read. The receiver doesn't take it in the way that we meant it. Learn from this, & from this point on, don't get into any heavy or serious conversations via text. He sounds very petty & immature to me. I think he would have broken up w/you over something else if you didn't send him the offensive text. Maybe that's just how he is. Not giving you the chance to even explain yourself, he's acting like an immature little baby. To hell w/him. He needs to grow up. Do you want to date a little boy or a man? Stop beating yourself up over this. Put things into proportion. You barely knew him, he was basically a stranger. You don't know a person in 3 weeks! You got attached way too fast to him. You are being WAY to hard on yourself, punishing yourself b/c he's acting like an ass. Stop it! Eat a good meal, take your vitamins, & if you have acess to a treadmill or walking path, walk daily for 20 minutes. It will help tremenously, trust me on this & try it. It will improve your mood after the first time. This guy would have found something else to get all offended about sooner or later, better sooner so you can see how he is before you waste anymre time w/him. Get back out there & start dating, so you can meet a nice man who is worthy of your time.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 55
How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/30/2011 4:04:49 PM
So, he can make comments, & you can't? It's ok no matter what he says, but if you make a comment that is true, you're in the wrong & goodby? It is TRUE that shaving down there will make you look prepubescent. Pedophiles like that. How is this comment even offensive? It's a true statement. Does he have a guilty conscience? Why else would he completely over react to this? He blew it way out of proportion. I suggest you look at the sex offender web site & see if he is on there. This guy is acting like a pervert who likes little girls. Stay away from him before you end up bound & gagged in the trunk of his car. The comment "offended" him b/c his dirty little secret fantasy is out.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 56
How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/30/2011 4:08:18 PM
I had a neighbor who was a convicted sex offender. After he got served his time, he dated legal age girls that looked very young, had small thin body frames & small breast, just like a young, under age teen girl. Beware!
 Sully8545
Joined: 12/12/2009
Msg: 59
How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/30/2011 4:32:47 PM
He wasn't into you. He used your comment as a way out of the relationship.
 tiny timmacho
Joined: 10/24/2006
Msg: 60
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History
How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/31/2011 7:55:30 AM
Hmmmm, I think this fella was just looking for an excuse to end things,
between you, if this guy felt anything for you he would have just laughted it off as
a Joke the way it was meant,

Better luck next time babe, move on, there are some odd bods out there
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 61
How do I get rid of this horrible feeling?!
Posted: 8/31/2011 8:01:23 AM
what exactly did u say??
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